[TheChef]

A girl I've been seeing for a few months (main girl of my harem) pulled some bullshit last night. I'm curious what you all recommend I do.

We saw a film "Locke" (which was fucking awesome, highly recommend, Hardy kills it) and I got the tickets. When we sat down, I smiled and told her some popcorn would be delicious. She gets it, I'm happy, I reward positive behavior and we watch the film.

Afterward it's 9:30pm and we walk to our cars and as we're about to go home she says she can't, and she's bummed about it. Turns out her sisters coerced her into going to some bachelorette party earlier that day. My girl said she already had a date, but her sisters have a strong influence over her and told her she could meet them after at 10pm.

I gave her a dissapointed look and told her it's rude to ditch someone in the middle of a date. At the very least, she should have told me beforehand. She looked pretty bummed and said she'd make it up to me. I said she could try, gave her a goodbye and walked away.

I had a slightly evil smirk later because I could tell she felt guilty.

I'm leaning toward letting it slide over as this is her first slip up. A day of radio silence and if she hits me up, she can make me a feast.

Thoughts?

[kaotic]

Id go silent on her, let her hamster run wild thinking.

Then at the right moment, cash in. Take full advantage.

But before you cash in - warn her never ever to pull that shit again.

[TheChef]

(05-03-2014 01:17 AM)kaotic Wrote:  

Id go silent on her, let her hamster run wild thinking.

Then at the right moment, cash in. Take full advantage.

But before you cash in - warn her never ever to pull that shit again.

Kaotic, that sounds about right. I'm gonna kick back.

I've never warned her, but I'll probably say something like, "What you did disappointed me, I don't like being treated like I'm a "warmup" for the rest of your night. Next time you gotta let me know about these things in advance. Be honest. If this happens again, we're done."

[WestIndianArchie]

(05-03-2014 12:52 AM)TheChef Wrote:  

A girl I've been seeing for a few months (main girl of my harem) pulled some bullshit last night. I'm curious what you all recommend I do.

We saw a film "Locke" (which was fucking awesome, highly recommend, Hardy kills it) and I got the tickets. When we sat down, I smiled and told her some popcorn would be delicious. She gets it, I'm happy, I reward positive behavior and we watch the film.

Afterward it's 9:30pm and we walk to our cars and as we're about to go home she says she can't, and she's bummed about it. Turns out her sisters coerced her into going to some bachelorette party earlier that day. My girl said she already had a date, but her sisters have a strong influence over her and told her she could meet them after at 10pm.

I gave her a dissapointed look and told her it's rude to ditch someone in the middle of a date. At the very least, she should have told me beforehand. She looked pretty bummed and said she'd make it up to me. I said she could try, gave her a goodbye and walked away.

I had a slightly evil smirk later because I could tell she felt guilty.

I'm leaning toward letting it slide over as this is her first slip up. A day of radio silence and if she hits me up, she can make me a feast.

Thoughts?

I meant to reply to this when it was fresh.

What I see
- Her friends/family have greater power over you
- She's knowingly going to a bachelorette party - which means she's trying to get into some "fun" with some guy and her girls. From a game perspective, Hen Parties are tough to break, but those chicks are on the hunt
- She got a date out of you before she told you

* she could also be totally lying to you about what she plans to do with her time

This is blatant disrespect of your time, and also it tells you how little she truly cares about you. If she has to choose between disappointing her friends and family, and disappointing you, she'd rather face your wrath than them.

How can you punish a girl when she's the one with the actual power in the relationship?

How can you live with yourself knowing that she's basically treating you like a door mat, and walking all over you, taking what she wants, and then using her charms to get out of punishment?

Maybe in your mind, and to the readers, this transgression isn't really that bad.
Maybe I'm blowing it up out of proportion...
Maybe we should accept these slights and petty insults and not be so full of ourselves..

Fuck all that.

So what do you do?

1) Ignore her, silent treatment, slow to return her calls and texts, withdraw your attention
2) break up with her and hope she comes crawling back
3) withdraw emotionally and make sure you sleep with other women (in particular her friends, and definitely girls that are younger and hotter)
4) say nothing, bide your time, and then get her back
5) bring up the issue and "communicate"
6) extricate some kind of servitude from her
7) lay down the law with an ultimatum

All of these are decent options, all of them none of them really get at the problem.

If this a chick that's more than One Night Stand (they always seem to be on the newb board) - then the most important thing about a woman is her behavior towards you.

So to get to the next level of your game, you have to start thinking about getting her to put you 1st in her life. On top of that, she has to accept the fact that she's NOT first on yours.

This is the game, you get what you want, and you give her the guidance and structure that she needs - but would never admit to.

But none of this easy, it's all very messy, and there's going to be heartache on her side and your side.

Is this what you want? © Chris Tucker

WIA

[Veloce]

To the OP: I'd do what you did but use stronger language.

The instinct to protect women is verrry strong. Don't underestimate it. We tend to use gentle language when addressing women, even while we're admonishing them.

Don't.

Instead of saying, "It's not cool for you to do this in the middle of a date, I'm very disappointed."

I'd go with: "What? You fucking kidding me? What a load of horseshit, you can forget about me taking you on any more dates." And storm off.

There are some that will say, "Don't show women anger" as if it's a weakness. This couldn't be further from the truth in my experience. Little flashes of anger like this will get a woman wetter than you can believe. You HAVE to show anger here and there when punishing a woman. Words alone will not get the job done.

For me it's an act. I'm a very calm guy and nothing really gets to me, so when I get angry at a woman I have to get in touch with some inner rage and just let a tiny little bit out, show a woman that I'm not to be fucked with. In my early days of "bending the sapling" so to speak, I would use calm, direct language. Over time, I've learned that it's actually hard to be TOO harsh on women. They aren't nearly as fragile as you might believe (Credit to BasilRansom for drilling this point home with me).

The less you let slide, the better. Give a woman an inch and she'll take a mile.

[TheChef]

(05-09-2014 01:33 PM)WestIndianArchie Wrote:  

How can you punish a girl when she's the one with the actual power in the relationship?

--

1) Ignore her, silent treatment, slow to return her calls and texts, withdraw your attention
2) break up with her and hope she comes crawling back
3) withdraw emotionally and make sure you sleep with other women (in particular her friends, and definitely girls that are younger and hotter)
4) say nothing, bide your time, and then get her back
5) bring up the issue and "communicate"
6) extricate some kind of servitude from her
7) lay down the law with an ultimatum

This is the game, you get what you want, and you give her the guidance and structure that she needs - but would never admit to.

But none of this easy, it's all very messy, and there's going to be heartache on her side and your side.

Good stuff WIA!

I've been doing some silent treatment, but went a week and hit her up by text. Talked with McQueen and definitely should have gone radio silent til she hit me up. Lesson learned.

Fortunately I've got another girl in the rotation and potentials on the horizon. If anything, this girl was a springboard and the regular sex helped me game and get new ones.

So to get to the next level of your game, you have to start thinking about getting her to put you 1st in her life. On top of that, she has to accept the fact that she's NOT first on yours.

That's gold dude. I'm learning to get chicks to invest more in me. Any tips on getting harem girls to put you, the guy, first and foremost?

- Chef

[TheChef]

Thanks TheDude, I too am pretty chill in general and don't blow up regularly.

Over time, I've learned that it's actually hard to be TOO harsh on women. They aren't nearly as fragile as you might believe (Credit to BasilRansom for drilling this point home with me).

You HAVE to show anger here and there when punishing a woman. Words alone will not get the job done.


I'm curious if this stems from the female need for a strong father figure in her life, so showing anger every now and then is solid.

Also, I'm a boss with employees, usually keep things pretty chill, but may have to show a dash of anger every now and then.

I have a female friend, who I stay in touch with because she's great for networking, but she's always 15-20 minutes late the last two times we hung out.

What's a good way to show some anger, and to word it well without going too far?

[Veloce]

(05-11-2014 02:27 PM)TheChef Wrote:  

Thanks TheDude, I too am pretty chill in general and don't blow up regularly.

Over time, I've learned that it's actually hard to be TOO harsh on women. They aren't nearly as fragile as you might believe (Credit to BasilRansom for drilling this point home with me).

You HAVE to show anger here and there when punishing a woman. Words alone will not get the job done.


I'm curious if this stems from the female need for a strong father figure in her life, so showing anger every now and then is solid.

Also, I'm a boss with employees, usually keep things pretty chill, but may have to show a dash of anger every now and then.

I have a female friend, who I stay in touch with because she's great for networking, but she's always 15-20 minutes late the last two times we hung out.

What's a good way to show some anger, and to word it well without going too far?

I'm glad you brought up managing employees.

I've started to draw many parallels between managing employees and managing women. In both cases the rule stands: give them an inch and they take a mile. Everyone likes a "cool" boss but the minute that they know they can get away letting things slip and behaving irresponsibly, they will walk all over you.

Instead of having the mindset of how to word things without going to far, you might try switching to, "How far can I go?"

You'd be surprised.

[General Mayhem]

Your situation brought this to mind.

[easternwomenrule]

Roosh wrote an article on this
'Anger Is An Aphrodisiac To Women'

http://www.rooshv.com/anger-is-an-aphrodisiac-to-women

The secret is to hold off on the anger until you have banged her. I use to get pissed when girls became flaky on me, but once I've banged them, I let them have it and they respond by chasing after me. Ignoring their texts for a couple days makes them go crazy over you once you put her in their place.