[harveyspecter]

Since I started to learn from this forum and absorb the red pill mentality i lost many girl friends in the process afterI've realied their behaviour and how stupid I was.

Now I have only one real girl friend which I talk to every day and that I trust and that is hard even for me to believe. She thinks that men must lead the relationship and show dominance. I have never thought about her in any way other than friend and even prohibited myself to do that because she was really helpful and useful in some situations and helped me meet her girl friends with whom I later even had something and was thinking that it is smarter to not even consider her because that would end our friendship.

We have been friends for 5 years now. It did not bother me till recently as I said, t I tried to ignore it but the problem occured when some of my friends started commenting how I will be with her eventually and that is amazing that I even have a girl friend since I displayed to them some of my red pill way of thinking that they did not even were aware of.

Now my friend almost had something with her after I told him that he can try to have something more with her. I got pissed after that and I felt like shit and happy beacuse nothing happened. I really did not expected to feel like that.

Now I really do not know what to do and how should I proceed with this. It will be too hard for me to just drop her and move on because I really care for her and she cares for me and has showed it in many ways. But even if I went for her and tried to get something I'm not sure that I want to even have a girlfriend.

Please give me your opinions on this beacuse it is really bugging me and I do not know what ado to.

[eradicator]

(01-01-2015 07:16 PM)harveyspecter Wrote:  

Since I started to learn from this forum and absorb the red pill mentality i lost many girl friends in the process afterI've realied their behaviour and how stupid I was.

Now I have only one real girl friend which I talk to every day and that I trust and that is hard even for me to believe.

I see no problem with any of this so far.

Quote:

She thinks that men must lead the relationship and show dominance.

She's right

Quote:

I have never thought about her in any way other than friend and even prohibited myself to do that because she was really helpful and useful in some situations and helped me meet her girl friends with whom I later even had something and was thinking that it is smarter to not even consider her because that would end our friendship.

Either fuck her or dont. If you want to fuck her, tell her you want to be more than friends. If you want to keep meeting her friends and fucking them, then carry on. I cant tell how hot this chick is, without that information, we cant really advise you.

Quote:

--snip--
Please give me your opinions on this beacuse it is really bugging me and I do not know what ado to.

again, need more information, if she is hot enough that you want to bang her repeatedly, then you tell her you want more than friendship from her. otherwise, just keep banging her friends.

[harveyspecter]

She is an 8 in my scale and she can even get better in a few years. But the problem is that I obviously care for her more than I thought.

[polymath]

You don't have to cut women out of your life if you like being friends.

The problem arises when you want/expect something more, but she keeps you corralled up as a friend whose time and resources she feels free to use.

Also, having friends who are girls helps you meet new girls.

[harveyspecter]

I know that I do not have to. I cut them off because I wanted to do so.

Yes, I'm aware of that too.

I still do not know what to do here.

[JayJuanGee]

(01-02-2015 07:09 AM)harveyspecter Wrote:  

I know that I do not have to. I cut them off because I wanted to do so.

Yes, I'm aware of that too.

I still do not know what to do here.

If you are supposedly becoming more red pill, as you suggest, then what does that mean to you?

If you want girlfriends to be sexual you need to physically and sexually escalate with them or otherwise move on to women with whom you want to sexually escalate.

Why would you be asking guys on this forum about what to do in a relationship? You have to decide what you want, and then attempt to employ strategies to achieve such. If you want sexual relationships with women, then you need to seek out such women and then employ techniques, such as sexual escalation in order to achieve sexual relationships with the ones that you are targeting. On the other hand, if you get friend-zoned by the women, then you need to search for other women to target for such sexual relationships.

So maybe before asking us about what to do, you need to define for us or at least for yourself regarding what you want, and what is your plan to achieve such, then maybe guys here may be able to assist in such planning or to let you know if they see various flaws in your plan(s).

[harveyspecter]

I understand what you are saying but I agree with you but the problem is that I can't decide what to do in this situation.

If i begin with physical and sexual escalation then I lose her as a friend and she really was a good one and I gained from that friendship a lot as I said.

But, despite that I currently want her but I'm trying to look at all this from a more deeper point of view where I lose too much by trying something more.

For me it is not problem to try something more and I know how would I do it, I just do not know should I do it.

Maybe you cannot help me with this specifically but I needed to write something like this here because in the reality I would ask her about a problem like this and now I really have no one to talk to about this.

[Agreddor]

How dyou expect us to help you when you can't spell out what help you want? You can't even decide what next course of action to take. Sleep on it then get back to us.

[JayJuanGee]

(01-02-2015 07:50 AM)harveyspecter Wrote:  

I understand what you are saying but I agree with you but the problem is that I can't decide what to do in this situation.

If i begin with physical and sexual escalation then I lose her as a friend and she really was a good one and I gained from that friendship a lot as I said.

But, despite that I currently want her but I'm trying to look at all this from a more deeper point of view where I lose too much by trying something more.

For me it is not problem to try something more and I know how would I do it, I just do not know should I do it.

Maybe you cannot help me with this specifically but I needed to write something like this here because in the reality I would ask her about a problem like this and now I really have no one to talk to about this.

I made a suggestion already, and that was for you to describe for yourself what you want from the relationship, and then to describe your plan to achieve what you want.

To me, it seems that the most you could come up with is a statement repeating that you do NOT know what you want, whether it is friendship or something more... and you seem to be inclined towards wanting something more but you do NOT know how to proceed... and supposedly you would have spoken with her about the situation, but now you cannot speak with her because she is the object of your question.

Actually, if you would have usually spoken with her about the situation, then why NOT speak with her. Your scenario seems somewhat overly confusing, and in part the confusion seems to be that you are NOT being very clear in your description regarding what you want and how you plan to get there.

[MikeD]

When I was younger I was gaming girls a lot at college.
But two girls were really close friends. They were really hot and I never really wanted to cross the line because I wanted them as friends.

A friend of mine tried to game them in a party and I realized I cared a lot more than I thought.
I went for the kiss and got it from one and went a little deeper. But the next day I felt bad about it. Still I don't regret it because she was freaking good in bed!

But we both had that "we went too far" feeling and stopped seeing each other for a while.

Now few years after we still see each other (both the one I had sex with and the one who didn't wanted to) and are good friends.

If she want to be your friend she won't go away because you have sexual desires.

[Virtus]

Is that a troll I smell?

[Dr. Howard]

(01-01-2015 11:25 PM)polymath Wrote:  

You don't have to cut women out of your life if you like being friends.

The problem arises when you want/expect something more, but she keeps you corralled up as a friend whose time and resources she feels free to use.

Also, having friends who are girls helps you meet new girls.

vice versa also applied in my books. I cannot be friends with girls that I know want to bang me. They get jealous, go crazy or generally cock block women I want to bang.

[harveyspecter]

I really don't understand why I was ban for trolling, this is a real issue for me. I'm young (18) so maybe my posts aren't so mature but I'm really trying to improve here.

[JayJuanGee]

(01-07-2015 01:02 PM)harveyspecter Wrote:  

I really don't understand why I was ban for trolling, this is a real issue for me. I'm young (18) so maybe my posts aren't so mature but I'm really trying to improve here.

Apparently, you were NOT banned from RVF because you are still posting.

Are you saying that you were given a warning for trolling? I thought that most newbies with few post were NOT given warnings.

Accordingly, if you really are "trying" to improve your posts and to become less troll-like, like you seem to be asserting, then probably NOT good to post too much publicly about your "warning" but to attempt to read more RVF threads and try to better understand RVF culture...

Maybe also make attempts to improve yourself in various ways by following various RVF thread suggestions and to keep your own notes regarding your various efforts.

Also, if you write in public threads factually about your circumstances and efforts that you are making to improve yourself and your circumstances, then maybe try to apply feedback that you receive from various RVF guys or clearly explain your circumstances in terms of your own facts, rather than throwing around jargon (such as "red pill") then maybe guys here will better understand your circumstances and be able to help you to help yourself.

If you really were warned about trolling, then learn about what is trolling and stop doing it.. I believe a troll is a poster that is NOT really meaningfully engaging in the communications of other posters, and instead is inciting the posts of others and failing to invest.

On the other hand, some guys may NOT be a good fit for RVF culture, especially if they do NOT seem to be trying to improve themselves, to help others or to describe their circumstances in ways that make sense to other guys in the forum.

[Bilboswaggins]

Listen, either way you're fucked. Or at least that's what you think now. I'm young as well and I've experienced this whole thing. If you keep her as a friend you never know what she might offer you sexually. If you decide to escalate, you lose a ''friend''. So, you have two options. I personally advise you to bang the hell out of her for now and move on, otherwise you might regret not doing anything a few months/years from now when you think about all this and laugh.

What you need to understand is that you're having a case of oneitis - in a way, you think she's The One and that you couldn't possibly find anyone else that could fit so well. That's why this decision is so hard to you - you think that breaking it off with her would mean never finding anyone remotely close to her ever again, which is total crapola.

My experience went like this - after a long time of thinking about it, I started banging the chick and tried to bang other ones the same time. What's interesting (logical, actually), is that the new vibe and personality I started to develop brought her in closer than before, the carelessness and distance you create makes her even more affectionate. Yes, you lose her as a friend, but you gain her as a lover.

[harveyspecter]

JJG - Thanks, I will have that in mind.

Bilboswaggins - It isn't oneitis in this case because I've went already through that once and moved on from it. This girl was there for me then and is now and she's really useful for me even as a friend and as I said before, I trust her, which is something i can't believe either, but I do. I'm trying to think here rationally because I see her as someone who I can talk on daily basis about anything and I do not know does it worth to lose her for some fun.

[JayJuanGee]

(01-07-2015 08:33 PM)harveyspecter Wrote:  

JJG - Thanks, I will have that in mind.

Bilboswaggins - It isn't oneitis in this case because I've went already through that once and moved on from it. This girl was there for me then and is now and she's really useful for me even as a friend and as I said before, I trust her, which is something i can't believe either, but I do. I'm trying to think here rationally because I see her as someone who I can talk on daily basis about anything and I do not know does it worth to lose her for some fun.

It seems like Bilboswaggins gave you a fairly decent and solid suggestion to work towards banging the chick and if it does NOT work out then to move on, and you are waffling about it.. and continuing to persist regarding some kind of dilemma that you have to want to preserve your friendship with her while at the same time you seem to still have feelings to bang her.

Sure it is possible that Bilboswaggins' suggestion is NOT sufficiently tailored to your own circumstances, and therefore you need to get your own goals straight in your own mind whether you want to bang the chick or NOT. If you do want to bang her, then work in that direction, and if you do NOT want to bang her and to preserve her friendship, then work in that alternative direction.

I think that guys in RVF, including myself, lose our patience if other forum members are NOT able to create a plan and at least attempt to follow such a plan. You do NOT necessarily need to be successful in achieving the goals of your plan, but at least make a plan and work towards achieving it (rather than waffling back and forth regarding your feelings and your sense of a dilemma).

And, maybe some of the planning and figuring out exactly what you want and how you intend to proceed needs to be carried out off line and with your own notes rather than waffling in a public thread?

In other words, I am suggesting that once you make your plan off line, then come back and tell us something like this: "I have decided x, and I plan to work towards x by doing a, b and c. I think that this plan is good for me because m, n, o and p. Alternatively, in the event that a, b and c does NOT cause satisfactory progress towards x, I will work towards y by doing f, g and h."

Of course, your plan does NOT need to exactly follow such a template as I have outlined, but there should be some logic to any goals and plan that you create and some explanation concerning your goals, how you plan to achieve them and why.