[godfather dust]

Post shit that went sour while you were fucking.

When I was 18 I had this girlfriend, we'd been together a little while.

One day I was laying back gettin some head from her when I hear her yell "____ NO!!"

The fucking dog had licked my cock.

Boner gone, got the fuck out, never spoke to her again for being a god damn moron.

[godfather dust]

Mods, this isn't "Game" my apologies, maybe "everything else."

[WestIndianArchie]

Banging a 5/6. Crazy sex skills moved her up to an 7 though.

Whilst in doggy, I swing back for one of those black porno esque ass slaps.
I missed and actually fell off the bed.

Ahh to be 25 again.

WIA

[weambulance]

When I was a senior in high school I was hooking up with this girl at a place she was housesitting to feed the horses and whatnot.

It was an old farmhouse and freezing cold inside. We were under the covers on a single bed, mostly naked and about to bang, when a kitten crawled under the blankets at the foot of the bed and clawed the shit out of my leg. I jumped real bad, shoved her off the bed in the process, rolled off the bed myself dragging the blankets with me, smacked my head on the dresser, and landed on top of the girl.

Damn kittens.

[Surreyman]

(12-16-2014 06:09 PM)godfather dust Wrote:  

Post shit that went sour while you were fucking.

When I was 18 I had this girlfriend, we'd been together a little while.

One day I was laying back gettin some head from her when I hear her yell "____ NO!!"

The fucking dog had licked my cock.

Boner gone, got the fuck out, never spoke to her again for being a god damn moron.

Yea I can't fuck with a dog in the room.

It shouldn't be weird, but it is.

[LINUX]

I don't remember what I did when I was 18.

I think I was banging the valedictorian, Now she is 300lbs and has 5 kids.

[vinman]

Banging a girl a couple years back, and I felt her dog jump on the bed. I paid it no mind until I felt his cold wet nose hit my taint.

[Barron]

ex caught me beating off to porn... twice.
She was a super insecure girl and thought of porn as cheating so she went ballistic. The second time I was sure we were going to breakup but I pussied out and promised never to watch porn again (lol)

[MY DETROIT PLAYAS]

Going at it real hard on my old waterbed back in college

What could go wrong?

One broken headboard, and punctured mattress later....

[Brodiaga]

(12-16-2014 07:52 PM)vinman Wrote:  

Banging a girl a couple years back, and I felt her dog jump on the bed. I paid it no mind until I felt his cold wet nose hit my taint.

They say that in China people pay in brothels to get this kind of experience.

[Beyond Borders]

(12-16-2014 06:09 PM)godfather dust Wrote:  

Post shit that went sour while you were fucking.

When I was 18 I had this girlfriend, we'd been together a little while.

One day I was laying back gettin some head from her when I hear her yell "____ NO!!"

The fucking dog had licked my cock.

Boner gone, got the fuck out, never spoke to her again for being a god damn moron.

I don't get it. The dog hopped in and grabbed a lick while you were getting head, so you aborted mission completely on the chick? Seems a bit like an overreaction. Or maybe I'm not understanding?

I remember this stripper I dated had two or three of these fucking chihauhas and they'd always jump up for a nose-dive in my ass while I was laying root. we just laughed our asses off, locked them in the shitter, and went back at it.

[Roardog]

I was at a house party in my final year of high school and snuck off into the bushes with my gf for a make out. It got pretty hot and heavy and she drunkenly decided she wanted to lose her virginity then and there in the bushes.
Pants and undies come down and I'm trying to go for it but I'm damned if I can get it in. In the end I just gave up and we went back to the party.
To this day I don't know if I just wasn't finding the hole or if she was actually that tight? Either way a wasted opportunity.

[vinman]

(12-16-2014 11:12 PM)Brodiaga Wrote:  

(12-16-2014 07:52 PM)vinman Wrote:  

Banging a girl a couple years back, and I felt her dog jump on the bed. I paid it no mind until I felt his cold wet nose hit my taint.

They say that in China people pay in brothels to get this kind of experience.

Wouldn't surprise me. I saw weird shit all over Asia....
I'll pass on that.

[Agreddor]

Didn't have lube so I improvised by using hand mositurizer (physiogel) on the girls pussy. She started crying and her pussy turned red.

[General Stalin]

I have a couple, and they involve the same girl that I was jilted by so they are bitter sweet. Quick back story: Started seeing this girl and fell head over heels for her. Got oneitis hard and she faded and cut me off. a couple months later we reconnect and she wants to 'fix things' with me.

At the time I was seeing a stripper and she would stay over my house and I'd drive her home before work every morning. One morning I fucked her in the ass before bringing her home - and I did not shower after as I was running late so I just gave my dick a half-assed rinse in the sink. So this old-flame of mine end up hanging out with me that very afternoon and we rekindle things. One thing leads to another and we wind up at my house and she is sucking my dick. Unwittingly going ATM with a stripper's ass. Thats justice.

Story 2 finds us at her place fucking on her bed about 2 weeks after the first re-encounter. Doing it good 'ole missionary but southpaw style with her head at the foot of the bed. She's got a real smooth comforter so she is slowly inching off the edge of the front of the bed as I'm pounding away. I can feel myself getting close to cumming then *FWUMP* she falls off the front of the bed and is stuck between her dresser and the bed frame. Best part? Right as she fell I was having an orgasm and couldn't stop myself in time and shot my load on her scrunched up belly. Didn't even have my hands on my dick. Just straight uncontrolled splurge on her stomach while she lay fetal face up jammed between the dresser and box spring. Talk about adding insult to injury.

[ONE A DAY]

(12-16-2014 06:09 PM)godfather dust Wrote:  

One day I was laying back gettin some head from her when I hear her yell "____ NO!!"

The fucking dog had licked my cock.

It's happened to me a few months ago... not cool.

(12-16-2014 07:14 PM)weambulance Wrote:  

It was an old farmhouse and freezing cold inside. We were under the covers on a single bed, mostly naked and about to bang, when a kitten crawled under the blankets at the foot of the bed and clawed the shit out of my leg. I jumped real bad, shoved her off the bed in the process, rolled off the bed myself dragging the blankets with me, smacked my head on the dresser, and landed on top of the girl.

Damn kittens.

I had a bad experience with this chick and it had to be shared with my closest buddies. they call me sometimes 2-digit... ( I don't give a gram of $#@$)

I met this chick last year and the deal was about to get sealed. LOL

She had a cat, very needy one....
1) we were at her place and things started in the sofa... the cat came over and crossed in between us several times...
2) Took her to the kitchen, counter top and here the fucking cat comes again...
3) While kissing and touching her, took her to the bedroom and closed the door. The fucking cat was whining to death and she opened up the door.
4) While fucking her, the cat came over and jumped on my back... Boner gone and I said I tried everything.. LOL


For reference...The 2-digit means that I had to punish the cat with my fingers...

[Rawmeo]

I was with a girl that couldn't get wet, no matter what I tried. She clearly showed excitation but her pussy was dry like a desert.

So I get a lube bottle (the cheap ones with strawberry flavor that you can buy at your local pharmacy), put some in my hands, and start rubbing her pussy. Her pussy was absorbing the lube and becoming dry again. I was starting to lose my boner and lose patience.

Since the bottle was around 6 cm diameter, I take off the top of the bottle, and put the bottle directly in her pussy, thus fucking her using the lube bottle. However I scratched her inside and hurt her accidentally. When fucking her, it was hurting too much for her and I ended up blueballed. And she was still dry.

-=============================-

Also a Thai chick from a very conservative family invited me to her house because she had the house for herself, and while fucking her, her parents came back home and walked in silently. Right in the middle of the act, the father opens the door and catches us in full action. Fortunately they had a sense of humor, but the moment was REALLY ankward.

[Brisey]

I was banging this girl particularly violently from the side and I went too far on my backswing. Upon re-entry I was up to the hilt in her ass, she let out an almighty scream, climbed off, ran to the bathroom and left me with shit all over my cock.

[anal?]

@Alex...Haha...i feel you brother,my own experience with the parents wasn't so pleasant.At 17,cute chick next door moves a few homes down the street from us.After teasing and flirting for 3 months,i finally start banging her.Her parents knew we went to thesame school and though the time i spend over was for school work,little did they know it was strictly for laying the pipe on their cute daughter.So on this faithful Friday afternoon,the parents were to travel out of town,i had come over for my usual "study" session.I helped them pack their bags in the car and we both bid them farewell.15 minutes after they are gone,i'm banging their daughter doggy style in her room not facing the door.Just as i'm banging and screaming "Who's ur daddy!!?",her dad responds from behind me,i'm her daddy!.They promptly kick me out and report to my parents .

[JohnyBoi95]

(12-17-2014 02:48 AM)alex3948 Wrote:  

I was with a girl that couldn't get wet, no matter what I tried. She clearly showed excitation but her pussy was dry like a desert.

So I get a lube bottle (the cheap ones with strawberry flavor that you can buy at your local pharmacy), put some in my hands, and start rubbing her pussy. Her pussy was absorbing the lube and becoming dry again. I was starting to lose my boner and lose patience.

Since the bottle was around 6 cm diameter, I take off the top of the bottle, and put the bottle directly in her pussy, thus fucking her using the lube bottle. However I scratched her inside and hurt her accidentally. When fucking her, it was hurting too much for her and I ended up blueballed. And she was still dry.

-=============================-

Also a Thai chick from a very conservative family invited me to her house because she had the house for herself, and while fucking her, her parents came back home and walked in silently. Right in the middle of the act, the father opens the door and catches us in full action. Fortunately they had a sense of humor, but the moment was REALLY ankward.

Either defective vagina or post OP tranny.

[Dalaran1991]

(12-16-2014 07:14 PM)weambulance Wrote:  

When I was a senior in high school I was hooking up with this girl at a place she was housesitting to feed the horses and whatnot.

It was an old farmhouse and freezing cold inside. We were under the covers on a single bed, mostly naked and about to bang, when a kitten crawled under the blankets at the foot of the bed and clawed the shit out of my leg. I jumped real bad, shoved her off the bed in the process, rolled off the bed myself dragging the blankets with me, smacked my head on the dresser, and landed on top of the girl.

Damn kittens.

I was reading this in class and almost burst out laughing. Most hilarious shit I've ever read

[The Reactionary Tree]

I dont know if this counts as a fuck up but it was pretty gross and hilarious.

I was at this chicks dorm room, we were making out and then I started fingering her. When I pulled my finger out, she immediately grabbed it and stuck it in her mouth. As she did this, I noticed it was absolutely covered in her menstrual blood. As she cleaned my finger off, she had this vampire that just fed look on her face as her entire mouth & chin were covered in blood. It was hilarious and pretty fucked up.

[MrXY]

(12-16-2014 08:48 PM)NomadofEU Wrote:  

ex caught me beating off to porn... twice.
She was a super insecure girl and thought of porn as cheating so she went ballistic. The second time I was sure we were going to breakup but I pussied out and promised never to watch porn again (lol)

The alpha move in that situation is to look her dead in the eye as you furiously finish.

[SheriffBart]

I was fucking a girl and was getting a little winded. I was on top and I exhaled out my nose and shot a giant snot rocket under her eye. It was a money shot but from my nose.

I almost just did it again last night.

[Lex S.]

(12-16-2014 07:14 PM)weambulance Wrote:  

When I was a senior in high school I was hooking up with this girl at a place she was housesitting to feed the horses and whatnot.

It was an old farmhouse and freezing cold inside. We were under the covers on a single bed, mostly naked and about to bang, when a kitten crawled under the blankets at the foot of the bed and clawed the shit out of my leg. I jumped real bad, shoved her off the bed in the process, rolled off the bed myself dragging the blankets with me, smacked my head on the dresser, and landed on top of the girl.

Damn kittens.

I had a similar situation, except in mine the kitten clawed my COCK. Needless to say it stung like a mother fucker and I was bleeding a bit, so that killed the mood dead.