[Prophylaxis]

Hopefully things change and some intervention takes place to curb this sick fad amongst the young'uns.

Quote:

Fitness trends like Crossfit, TRX and eating healthily are devastating drug culture among age groups that were formerly bastions of clubbing abandon – young men and women between 18 – 35.

“Nowadays you’re more likely to find a guy sweating and drinking litres of water with a clenched jaw at an early morning gym session rather than at a rave,” explained cultural commentator Brian Lehane. “I saw a young man out running through the park on Saturday morning and happily thought to myself that he was probably on a booze run or off to meet a dealer but when he got close to me I could see that he was actually just jogging for pleasure and fitness.”

“He tried to engage me in conversations about beating his personal best but I cut him off, called him a loser, told him he was wasting his life and ran away,” continued Brian. “Unfortunately with him being younger and faster he caught up to me, tripped me up then put me in headlock until I passed out. When I came through I realised I had pissed myself and the jogger was nowhere to be seen – which I considered a small victory.”

Young people, influenced by media portrayals of drug deaths at festivals, strange new narcotics and celebrity health fads like eating kale and avoiding sugar are becoming increasingly “lame” and indulging in less reckless drug and alcohol related behaviour.

Statistics are showing that an increasing number of young people are “being total dry shites” and abstaining completely from the session by spending more time reading “Men’s Health instead of Mixmag”.

“It’s totally having an impact on the clubbing scene,” continued Brian. “People are going clubbing to drink very low proof alcohol and show off their ‘progress’ before leaving early for an early morning gym session. It’s highly depressing.”

“We’re left with a neutered generation of highly sexualised, bronze pimps who go to clubs to fuck each other and pose rather than dance and experiment with substances – we’re basically left with a generation of Premier League footballers with less money yet more dickbaggery.”

“Exercise is my drug,” claimed one fitness fanatic, Jason, who insisted on conducting our conversation communicating via our reflection in a full size mirror which he was standing in front of in a thong. “But more accurately anabolic steroids are my drugs.”

“I took e once but it totally messed up my workout pattern and set me back three days,” continued the muscle bound beef cake. “I couldn’t even see my abs ripple through my vest all that week, it was disgusting.”

“The only plus point from the whole thing was that my jawline got a great workout, I looked like Desperate Dan crossed with Krtyon from Red Dwarf,” he concluded. “I now work out my jaw as often as I can by constantly clenching it or talking about meal plans and calorific contents of energy drinks.”

Source - http://wundergroundmusic.com/clubbing-dr...ms-report/

*Fucking hilarious.

[Snowplow]

Quote:

*Fucking hilarious.

[britchard]

Is he genuinely serious? Absolutely disgusting behaviour, people wanting to look after themselves and stay in shape, imagine that!

[Handsome Creepy Eel]

While obviously some people take it overboard (Taking steroids and despairing because you can't see your abs rippling? GTFO!), the overall culture is very positive.

Stu, the article's author:





It's hilarious how all people of this mindset have that same try-hard hipster grin

[El Chinito loco]

I thought this was an onion piece at first but then I read it and realized it was insecurity concealed as poorly worded satire by a bearded SWPL faggot.

[kinjutsu]

I'm not saying you can't get fit and or buff then use that body to go pull slutty girls from raves...

This is what i do myself.
I just don't do drugs. I'll use up the girls for fun and toss them when I'm done.

[Andreas]

Quote:

we’re basically left with a generation of Premier League footballers with less money yet more dickbaggery.”

You mean the guys who shag your crush?

Quote:

tripped me up then put me in headlock until I passed out
which I considered a small victory.

Proud to be AMOG'ed...

What an attention whoring troll he is. Are people so desperate for attention these days that they have to troll so hard...

[Prophylaxis]

Clearly this was a satire - don't get too worked up over it

He has a point though - the whole facebook/selfie culture has fucked up some men as well.

This scene from fight club comes to mind:

Need balance - and there's nothing like the odd binge to put things back into perspective.

Don't take yourselves too seriously.

[Irish]

(12-08-2014 06:57 AM)Prophylaxis Wrote:  

Need balance - and there's nothing like the odd binge to put things back into perspective.

Don't take yourselves too seriously.

Word

[VolandoVengoVolandoVoy]

Bad satire.
Hamster thinking by an insecure beta.
It is based on a false either/or premise.
FWIW, it is entirely possible to multi task and maintain elite level fitness while indulging in occasional drug binges. Just don't lose sight of the fact that you are not escaping from reality but rather enhancing it or taking a temporary break. Forget that, and you will discover the joys of addiction.

[Hades]

I thought it was funny as hell.