ORIGINALLY POSTED BY DAN FROM THE S.D LAIR
Hey Guys,
It has been said over and over again in the community that you should be alpha. That is important, of course, but at the same time, that same sense of urgent alphaness can lower your value.
A person, PUA or otherwise, can get so caught up in being alpha that they become over-reactive to everything. Any disrespect thrown in his face becomes an immediate threat to his alphaness that must be neutralized. This can be seen in bullies, ghetto thugs, and beach surfer AMOGs that get near violent when you tool them back.
The bottom line is that you can be alpha, a leader and dominant, but if you're reactive you're still insecure as fuck, and it shows. You'll get women, but you bet your ass they will be low quality women. What kind of woman wants a guy who can't control himself? A guy who feels his time at the top is so temporary that he must protect it by belittling or even threatening someone. Would you even respect a female friend of yours dating a guy like that or would you think she had low self esteem?
So there are two types of Alphaness: Reactive Alpha and Unreactive Alpha .
Reactive Alpha is Tupac Shakur. Unreactive Alpha is Brad Pitt.
Sometimes a friend and I will be walking, often peacocked, and an AMOG will yell a slur at us to tease us. Now we have a couple of options. We can either confront them, yell an AMOG tease back, or just keep walking.
How do we decide? Here's the ultimate formula for any pickup situation: What would Brad Pitt do?
If Brad Pitt was walking down the street and someone yelled at him "'Mr. and Mrs. Smith' sucked!" do you think he would even turn his head? Of course not! He made millions from that movie, what does he care?
This goes also with dealing with women. Several PUAs I meet have a habit of "punishing" girls in field who aren't interested, even if they try to end the conversation nicely. The girls will say they're having a heart to heart conversation and ask him politely to leave. The guy will then stay and keep chatting them up, knowing full well that he has no chance. He badgers and harasses them.
Would Brad Pitt do that?
Think of what a guy would do who makes millions and can fuck a hottie any night of the week. Would he care about 2 girls not being interested? Would he care about a girl flaking? Would he care about a guy not liking his movie? Would he care if a girl called him ugly and told him to scram?
Of course you could be a Reactive Alpha like Tupac and get into a fight with the amog, call the women bitches, get upset when a woman flakes, and still get laid, but only with women who don't think they're good enough for a guy who actually has his shit together like Brad Pitt. Also, keep in mind Tupac was so reactive it took him to his grave in his 20's.
Being unreactive means you don't get too excited about small successes and you don't get too excited about small problems. A girl in field touching your arm, even kissing you at the bar, is just another day at the office. You don't blush when she says you're cute, and you don't lean in and get all hands on when she starts kinoing you (contrast to ghetto guys outside the club that when a girl touches they rub their hands all over them and say 'Dang girl u fine!')
A guy knocking your zebra cowboy hat off, a girl (probably fat anyway) being rude, a girl turning her head at your kiss, is just another day at the office. 15 seconds after your hat is knocked off, you don't even remember the guy. A rude girl is just that, a rude girl. By definition she's someone who's not worth your time anyway. She can only lower your value if you decide that a rude girl has say over how cool you are. Her having that kind of power is like letting a 10 year old choose a presidential cabinet member. If you truly have value, her words don't change it. If her words effect how you feel about yourself, she didn't lower your value cause you never had it in the first place.
When someone says something offensive, consider what's really being said. I'm Jewish, and occasionally run into anti-semitism. When someone says "Jews are fucking assholes" to me, did that person just say something about ME, or did that person say something about HIM?
As far as I'm concerned, someone saying that to me, just walked up and said "I'm an ignorant fuck." Would you be offended by someone walking up to you and saying "I'm an idiot"? No, you'd probably feel sorry for them.
When a girl at a bar tells you you're ugly and to go away, she really said "I'm really socially retarded and don't know how to get out of uncomfortable situations without being a bitch."
When an AMOG challenges you to fight, he's really saying "I'm insecure, and if I don't win this, I'm going to be upset the entire night."
Similarly, and AMOG yelled to me in my pimpsuit yesterday "You look fucking stupid! Who do you think you are!!??" and he was upset! What do you think he was saying about himself?
When an AMOG is getting hostile, he's saying "You hurt my feelings."
Seeing these things for what they are and not getting emotional is what unreactivity is all about.
What would Brad Pitt do?
--Dan
Hey Guys,
It has been said over and over again in the community that you should be alpha. That is important, of course, but at the same time, that same sense of urgent alphaness can lower your value.
A person, PUA or otherwise, can get so caught up in being alpha that they become over-reactive to everything. Any disrespect thrown in his face becomes an immediate threat to his alphaness that must be neutralized. This can be seen in bullies, ghetto thugs, and beach surfer AMOGs that get near violent when you tool them back.
The bottom line is that you can be alpha, a leader and dominant, but if you're reactive you're still insecure as fuck, and it shows. You'll get women, but you bet your ass they will be low quality women. What kind of woman wants a guy who can't control himself? A guy who feels his time at the top is so temporary that he must protect it by belittling or even threatening someone. Would you even respect a female friend of yours dating a guy like that or would you think she had low self esteem?
So there are two types of Alphaness: Reactive Alpha and Unreactive Alpha .
Reactive Alpha is Tupac Shakur. Unreactive Alpha is Brad Pitt.
Sometimes a friend and I will be walking, often peacocked, and an AMOG will yell a slur at us to tease us. Now we have a couple of options. We can either confront them, yell an AMOG tease back, or just keep walking.
How do we decide? Here's the ultimate formula for any pickup situation: What would Brad Pitt do?
If Brad Pitt was walking down the street and someone yelled at him "'Mr. and Mrs. Smith' sucked!" do you think he would even turn his head? Of course not! He made millions from that movie, what does he care?
This goes also with dealing with women. Several PUAs I meet have a habit of "punishing" girls in field who aren't interested, even if they try to end the conversation nicely. The girls will say they're having a heart to heart conversation and ask him politely to leave. The guy will then stay and keep chatting them up, knowing full well that he has no chance. He badgers and harasses them.
Would Brad Pitt do that?
Think of what a guy would do who makes millions and can fuck a hottie any night of the week. Would he care about 2 girls not being interested? Would he care about a girl flaking? Would he care about a guy not liking his movie? Would he care if a girl called him ugly and told him to scram?
Of course you could be a Reactive Alpha like Tupac and get into a fight with the amog, call the women bitches, get upset when a woman flakes, and still get laid, but only with women who don't think they're good enough for a guy who actually has his shit together like Brad Pitt. Also, keep in mind Tupac was so reactive it took him to his grave in his 20's.
Being unreactive means you don't get too excited about small successes and you don't get too excited about small problems. A girl in field touching your arm, even kissing you at the bar, is just another day at the office. You don't blush when she says you're cute, and you don't lean in and get all hands on when she starts kinoing you (contrast to ghetto guys outside the club that when a girl touches they rub their hands all over them and say 'Dang girl u fine!')
A guy knocking your zebra cowboy hat off, a girl (probably fat anyway) being rude, a girl turning her head at your kiss, is just another day at the office. 15 seconds after your hat is knocked off, you don't even remember the guy. A rude girl is just that, a rude girl. By definition she's someone who's not worth your time anyway. She can only lower your value if you decide that a rude girl has say over how cool you are. Her having that kind of power is like letting a 10 year old choose a presidential cabinet member. If you truly have value, her words don't change it. If her words effect how you feel about yourself, she didn't lower your value cause you never had it in the first place.
When someone says something offensive, consider what's really being said. I'm Jewish, and occasionally run into anti-semitism. When someone says "Jews are fucking assholes" to me, did that person just say something about ME, or did that person say something about HIM?
As far as I'm concerned, someone saying that to me, just walked up and said "I'm an ignorant fuck." Would you be offended by someone walking up to you and saying "I'm an idiot"? No, you'd probably feel sorry for them.
When a girl at a bar tells you you're ugly and to go away, she really said "I'm really socially retarded and don't know how to get out of uncomfortable situations without being a bitch."
When an AMOG challenges you to fight, he's really saying "I'm insecure, and if I don't win this, I'm going to be upset the entire night."
Similarly, and AMOG yelled to me in my pimpsuit yesterday "You look fucking stupid! Who do you think you are!!??" and he was upset! What do you think he was saying about himself?
When an AMOG is getting hostile, he's saying "You hurt my feelings."
Seeing these things for what they are and not getting emotional is what unreactivity is all about.
What would Brad Pitt do?
--Dan