[blacknwhitespade]

So, I am on the Coffee Shop chapter of Day Game right now. The opening "elderly question/chat" is coming quite naturally for me in Coffee Shops, since every girl has her Computer or Book/study materials and I've done this with girls in coffee shops before with other props like a funny hat she's wearing or university t-shirt. Just tried it on a girl now asking about her Apple laptop. She laughed when I explained that I've been abusing my company laptop for a year since my age-old laptop died (small bait?). After that, I stalled/clammed up and didn't extend the convo any further.

I'm struggling with the "Ramble" concept that Roosh says you need to maintain for a few minutes before you get to the personal closing questions/number close. What are some good tactics or small/big baits to drop here to establish rambling skills. Should I have gotten more deliberate in the example above and changed convo with some other random statement, or ask her another specific question about her computer? Are there some good, all-purpose bait droppers that can be used in Coffee Shop situations like this??

[edtf]

Imagine a conversation is like a game of dominoes. Each sentence you say is 1 domino, and each of her responses is her placing down a domino. Each domino has 2 sides.

One half of your sentence should be an answer to her response, while the other half of the sentence is like an open piece, which she can play her piece to match against. When you ramble, you are playing a very long game of dominoes, in order to create as much of a connection as you can by throwing out plenty of hooks. It is like building a web holding you 2 together.

For example:
"I've been abusing my company laptop for a year, but my boss was so old he thought that Youtube was a plumbing appliance. Typical old Upper-Eastsider."

So the first part of the sentence is matching her response about the laptop, but you've thrown out 2 hooks, since people usually love or hate their boss, and you also threw out a location hook, which she could also respond to.

[dads]

Watch Seinfeld. My favorite show was Curb before I ever read Roosh's advice, so I kind of have a bit of Larry David "I'll talk about anything" game. It'll help you a lot if you're having trouble rambling.

[Heathree]

You need to learn improvisation chat where you can get go on and on rather then fall onto the boring 'where do you live?', 'what do you do?' questions.

[blacknwhitespade]

(08-12-2014 10:53 PM)edtf Wrote:  

Imagine a conversation is like a game of dominoes. Each sentence you say is 1 domino, and each of her responses is her placing down a domino. Each domino has 2 sides.

One half of your sentence should be an answer to her response, while the other half of the sentence is like an open piece, which she can play her piece to match against. When you ramble, you are playing a very long game of dominoes, in order to create as much of a connection as you can by throwing out plenty of hooks. It is like building a web holding you 2 together.

For example:
"I've been abusing my company laptop for a year, but my boss was so old he thought that Youtube was a plumbing appliance. Typical old Upper-Eastsider."

So the first part of the sentence is matching her response about the laptop, but you've thrown out 2 hooks, since people usually love or hate their boss, and you also threw out a location hook, which she could also respond to.

So, it's like everything is a deliberate response, answering a question, making a juicy statement that opens another door. I like the dominoes analogy. I guess I just need to get more comfortable making complete sentences that contain more specificity. Like, ask about a specific feature of her computer and elaborate for 1-2 sentences. I had asked the girl above if her laptop had a CD player/could burn CDs. I should have stated something like: "I'm really into recording music, so I'm looking for a laptop that will be a solid platform for recording softwares. Are you familiar with any audio recording software programs for your MacBook?"

[edtf]

(08-13-2014 05:50 PM)blacknwhitespade Wrote:  

(08-12-2014 10:53 PM)edtf Wrote:  

Imagine a conversation is like a game of dominoes. Each sentence you say is 1 domino, and each of her responses is her placing down a domino. Each domino has 2 sides.

One half of your sentence should be an answer to her response, while the other half of the sentence is like an open piece, which she can play her piece to match against. When you ramble, you are playing a very long game of dominoes, in order to create as much of a connection as you can by throwing out plenty of hooks. It is like building a web holding you 2 together.

For example:
"I've been abusing my company laptop for a year, but my boss was so old he thought that Youtube was a plumbing appliance. Typical old Upper-Eastsider."

So the first part of the sentence is matching her response about the laptop, but you've thrown out 2 hooks, since people usually love or hate their boss, and you also threw out a location hook, which she could also respond to.

So, it's like everything is a deliberate response, answering a question, making a juicy statement that opens another door. I like the dominoes analogy. I guess I just need to get more comfortable making complete sentences that contain more specificity. Like, ask about a specific feature of her computer and elaborate for 1-2 sentences. I had asked the girl above if her laptop had a CD player/could burn CDs. I should have stated something like: "I'm really into recording music, so I'm looking for a laptop that will be a solid platform for recording softwares. Are you familiar with any audio recording software programs for your MacBook?"

Yeah its good to throw out a hook, but also don't develop tunnel vision. When you say that her only appropriate response can be about "Audio recording software programs for HER Macbook" specifically. She will say "Yes/No" and its very hard for her to think of something else to say, even if she wants to continue the conversation. Now if you had reason to believe she was in the music industry, that would be a different story.

But she would probably respond better if you said only mentioned you were looking for music recording software, because she probably loves music and will be like "Oh what music do you record? I love ___ music!, bla bla bla"

In short, throw out hooks, but keep them general and open ended.

[simonafc]

My best response to this whole thing, is to be

"Genuinely" receptive to her responses.

Actually care about what she has to say and elaborate on it.

[HawkWrites]

Look at something about her that you can comment upon. This gets easier with time and it shows that you may have some kind of interest in her.

Personally being a programmer I go with anything I can discern about her operating system or computer. I've noticed the following characteristics:

Windows? Meh, maybe he can show me something I didn't already know.
Mac OS/X? Okay, this guy knows his shit and is cool.
Linux? FUCK ME NOW. It's hard to go wrong knowing about Linux when the girl you're talking to is a Linux geek.

It's nerdy as hell but it gives the girl a chance to get embarrassed when she doesn't know anything about what I'm asking her (read: almost always).

[blacknwhitespade]

(08-13-2014 11:48 PM)simonafc Wrote:  

My best response to this whole thing, is to be

"Genuinely" receptive to her responses.

Actually care about what she has to say and elaborate on it.

This is a good point. I need to get more comfortable with improv, and a key to that is to actually, genuinely care more about what I'm asking/talking to the woman about.

I think I'm still a little skiddish with the hooks/open-ended questions and getting more deliberate with bait dropping. It's a shy habit that I've just got to kick the hell out of my system! The core philosophy of Day Game is something I had been doing for years before reading this book, had gotten a few numbers/emails but never any further probably because I moved too fast and didn't create enough rapport. Now I can see where my flaws are and how to create a "domino effect" or "web" as you guys describe it. I'm going to start going to coffee shops every night!

[Libertas]

There's not much to it. Just be interesting, have a lot going on in your head, share your ambitions, and make comments/assumptions about her. Compliment her appearance to set a sexual vibe. Make flirty eye contact.

[Donkey_Riding]

(08-12-2014 08:45 PM)blacknwhitespade Wrote:  

She laughed when I explained that I've been abusing my company laptop for a year since my age-old laptop died (small bait?). After that, I stalled/clammed up and didn't extend the convo any further.

Other posters have given you good theoretical suggestions on how to ramble, but stuff like this isn't always helpful in the moment when you can't think of anything to say. The way to deal with situations like these is to relax into the moment and just say whatever pops into your head. Your focus should not be on achieving a flawlessly executed conversation but just to keep plowing.

As Roosh says, pretend your feet are rooted in cement and you have to keep talking to her until she ends the interaction. Focus more on saying something than on wondering about what to say. The only way this really gets better is through more practice.

[kaotic]

LISTEN. Agree and amplify does help. Try warming up with people around, say in life at a coffee shop or for food. A waiter/waitress, a bartender, elderly people around. Warm up your social skills and ramble with them for a bit, this helps ease anxiety and helps you have better conversation with girls.

[polar]

I'll give some actionable advice on how to relax.

Here's a couple of exercises you can do on your own, between approaches, after work, etc.

ADD drill: talk to yourself with good delivery, tonality, volume (as if you're being interviewed) about anything and everything. The goal is to be able to talk nonstop for ten-fifteen minutes, without interruption. Develop verbal diarrhea. Talk about what's on your mind: what you want to have for breakfast tomorrow, what color car that is, ooh, that's a cool store, damn cobblestones are all uneven and it's hot outside but I'm out to talk to some people and work on myself and have a good time, wonder what my buddy Bob is doing this evening and if I'll see that blonde with the big tits again this friday... etc... etc... etc. Pretend to talk on the phone if you care about what people think (you'll get over that with time, too).

Another one (you might recognize it if you've done improv) is to pick objects and to call them something OTHER than what you see: i.e. see tree, say purple! see car, say cloud! see a red light, say elephant! etc. etc. just to break out of being logical all the time. Develop speed and the willingness to go with the FIRST idea in your head, not self-censoring and trying to pick the best one (trying to predict someone else's reaction to what you're going to say is what causes you to lock up). Fun with friends or to get in state with a wingman, too...do call-response.

Work on SPEED - speak the first thing that comes to mind. Stop trying to be logical in conversation, and stop worrying if what you want to say is good enough.

Try them for a week and report back.