[No Habit]

It's been more than two years since I joined this forum and I have to state that I still have never fucked a girl.

I've been grinding and making excuses since last year, but lately I am getting approached by really good looking girls on the regular and of course I always fuck it up somehow because my practical game is non existent.

So after all the keyboard jocking it's time for me to put out my 100 approaches and get laid.

I will approach at least three girls every day.


Vamos !

[BarryInSF]

(08-06-2014 03:16 PM)Bad-Habit Wrote:  

I will approach at least three girls every day.

Starting TODAY.

[JayJuanGee]

(08-06-2014 03:16 PM)Bad-Habit Wrote:  

It's been more than two years since I joined this forum and I have to state that I still have never fucked a girl.

I've been grinding and making excuses since last year, but lately I am getting approached by really good looking girls on the regular and of course I always fuck it up somehow because my practical game is non existent.

So after all the keyboard jocking it's time for me to put out my 100 approaches and get laid.

I will approach at least three girls every day.


Vamos !

I don't want to interfere with your plan to approach b/c approaching is good to practice and probably to get started if you have NOT been doing it and even working up towards lays, but have you arranged any logistics... or a plan about what you want to do with the girl... for example, take her to your apartment or to a bar or a night club or to a cafe or to the park or to a beach... if you have a beach in your area... It is good to have some ideas in mind... even if you may be attempting to go with the flow too.. but in the end, you will probably want to direct some of the ideas for planned activities and to take the lead..... I look forward to hearing more about how your approaches go... and maybe even if you have a target number like 5 per week.. or something that is within your abilities.

[No Habit]

Here I am, one and a half years later. Approach count is 3. I was asking girls for the time at the central station. Unfortunately I had a full blown psychosis because I was working two jobs, not sleeping and not eating well. I found myself in a mental hospital after taking a dive down my 20 feet high balcony while being completely naked. At least I didn't die that night. I have to take two meds now and easily get overwhelmed if there's too much stimulus coming in.

So it took me over a year to recover from this and return to RVF. I finally want to complete my 100. Unfortunately I am balding very badly and my self esteem is as low as never before. I am also not getting any IOIs lately so this is going to be tough. Anyway I am looking forward to growing by overcoming my fears.

I am going to approach girls next week.

[Beyond Borders]

Bro there are more important things in life than chasing tail.

Mental health is one...

Chasing tail can be a real tax on that.

Maybe your priorities should be centered on 'Bad Habit' for the time being & nothing else.

All else shall flow naturally.

Wish you all the best buddy.

[Octavian]

(01-16-2016 12:43 PM)Bad-Habit Wrote:  

Here I am, one and a half years later. Approach count is 3. I was asking girls for the time at the central station. Unfortunately I had a full blown psychosis because I was working two jobs, not sleeping and not eating well. I found myself in a mental hospital after taking a dive down my 20 feet high balcony while being completely naked. At least I didn't die that night. I have to take two meds now and easily get overwhelmed if there's too much stimulus coming in.

So it took me over a year to recover from this and return to RVF. I finally want to complete my 100. Unfortunately I am balding very badly and my self esteem is as low as never before. I am also not getting any IOIs lately so this is going to be tough. Anyway I am looking forward to growing by overcoming my fears.

I am going to approach girls next week.

Couple things. Probably the best thing you can do is meet someone in person from this forum and wing with him. Make a call for wings in your area. You'd be surprised who is around. Make approaching something you do with a friend. It really helps. I'm so much better with a wing than solo.

Second, think through exactly how you want to go about approaching. Do you want to go direct or indirect? Day or night? Set a very clear game plan in terms of venue and style. Set clear and measurable objectives and focus on those. Maybe you're objective for the day will simply be to follow the three second rule. That's probably the best one to start with.

Given how intimidating this all is, the best thing to do is break it down into pieces and work one piece at a time. The best day game sessions I've had were ones in which I went out focused on one or two things I really wanted to accomplish. If you hit those, you've had a good day whatever else happens.

[No Habit]

(01-16-2016 12:58 PM)1026 Wrote:  

Bro there are more important things in life than chasing tail.

You are right, health is more important than chasing tail but right now I am almost fully recovered and need something to fill the emptiness in my life. All I do is working, working out and sleeping. I think the game will be the right thing to start with.

(01-16-2016 01:14 PM)Octavian Wrote:  

Given how intimidating this all is, the best thing to do is break it down into pieces and work one piece at a time. The best day game sessions I've had were ones in which I went out focused on one or two things I really wanted to accomplish. If you hit those, you've had a good day whatever else happens.

Thanks for the advice. I plan on doing direct day game solo.

[Octavian]

(01-16-2016 01:30 PM)Bad-Habit Wrote:  

(01-16-2016 12:58 PM)1026 Wrote:  

Bro there are more important things in life than chasing tail.

You are right, health is more important than chasing tail but right now I am almost fully recovered and need something to fill the emptiness in my life. All I do is working, working out and sleeping. I think the game will be the right thing to start with.

(01-16-2016 01:14 PM)Octavian Wrote:  

Given how intimidating this all is, the best thing to do is break it down into pieces and work one piece at a time. The best day game sessions I've had were ones in which I went out focused on one or two things I really wanted to accomplish. If you hit those, you've had a good day whatever else happens.

Thanks for the advice. I plan on doing direct day game solo.

Glad to hear it, but a word of warning. Solo direct day game can be brutal. If you have confidence problems the way I do, it can be even worse. I highly recommend you just focus on the three second rule. Before you go out, have a canned opener ready. Get your clothing style and look in order. Approach in 3 seconds or less. Don't expect them to jump on your dick. Every little piece you improve on will get you closer, but it may take a while. Focus on one skill at a time. Some of these girls will blow you out, i.e., they will look at you like you're crazy and move on as soon as possible. Others will say thanks and politely move on. Others will shout "I'VE GOT A BOYFRIEND." But if you do it enough, one of these girls will give you that eye sparkle...

[Thomas the Rhymer]

(01-16-2016 12:43 PM)Bad-Habit Wrote:  

Here I am, one and a half years later. Approach count is 3. I was asking girls for the time at the central station. Unfortunately I had a full blown psychosis because I was working two jobs, not sleeping and not eating well. I found myself in a mental hospital after taking a dive down my 20 feet high balcony while being completely naked. At least I didn't die that night. I have to take two meds now and easily get overwhelmed if there's too much stimulus coming in.

So it took me over a year to recover from this and return to RVF. I finally want to complete my 100. Unfortunately I am balding very badly and my self esteem is as low as never before. I am also not getting any IOIs lately so this is going to be tough. Anyway I am looking forward to growing by overcoming my fears.

I am going to approach girls next week.

I'm sorry to hear about your experiences. But I'm glad that you haven't allowed it to be an excuse and that you are returning to your goals.

I remember my first few approaches. My very first attempt at an approach, I walked up to the chick, then immediately turned away without saying anything because I felt extremely nauseas and I thought I was going to puke, and walked briskly to the bathroom and almost did puke when I got there. After that, I decided that with my next approach, if I'm going to puke, I'll just have to puke over the girl, because I felt pretty stupid just walking away without saying anything.

The next approach I did, I can't remember exactly what I said, but it was something like, "Blwkeljfdlsj."

The third approach didn't go far beyond the greeting.

But I kept at it and it got easier and easier and less awkward and I remember the incredible thrill of my first number close. Even though that number led nowhere, it was enough of a victory to spur me on to keep approaching.

The first 10 approaches are I think the hardest, especially for someone with poor social skills. If you can just get to number 10, things should start getting easier from there. One's first 10 approaches ever are also the most difficult approaches one will ever do in one's entire life, at least from my experience. It starts getting much easier after 10.

I encourage you to keep approaching, and to not get discouraged, and to look forward to the small victories, such as holding a conversation, or getting a number.

Unfortunately, approaching is hard work, for a beginner. I remember spending entire days in the mall, bored out of my mind, a part of me wishing to go back home to my video games, as I waited and waited for an opportunity to approach. I even made a rule that I was not allowed to leave the mall till I did an approach - initially, I was so shy that it would take me 5 hours to even work up the courage to do an approach, so I spent a lot of boring time psyching myself up to do an approach so that I could finally go home. But the work pays off and things get easier with every approach.

And even if you are an utter failure at approaching, I promise you that you will be a far better man after 100 failed approaches compared to having never approached at all.

I think I speak on behalf of the forum when I say that we are all rooting for you, cheering you on, and that no matter how nastily some girls might reject you, we'll pick you up, dust you off, give you a word or two of encouragement, and then throw you right back to the lions so that you can get rejected some more.

You're very fortunate in the sense that you hit rock bottom in your life with your mental illness. You have only one direction left for you, and that's up. So go out there and win. You deserve it.

[Jagnum]

(01-16-2016 02:06 PM)Thomas the Rhymer Wrote:  

I even made a rule that I was not allowed to leave the mall till I did an approach - initially, I was so shy that it would take me 5 hours to even work up the courage to do an approach, so I spent a lot of boring time psyching myself up to do an approach so that I could finally go home. But the work pays off and things get easier with every approach.

Good advice Thomas.

I used to write on paper that I must speak to at least 8 girls at the bar before going home. And I'd count to make sure I opened 8. It helps to have a canned opener ready, as another poster mentioned. I'd write other goals too, like "give one girl a twirl around".

Once you do something once, your mind will literally shift, and now that thing is within the realm of possibility. And if you practice that thing a second time, like twirling a girl around at the bar, then it becomes much easier to do in the future. And if you practice that thing a third time, then it starts to become a GOOD HABIT.

The first time I banged a girl after the first date, I thought to myself, "wow, it's actually possible to do this."

The first time I had a one-night stand, when I was 26 years old, I thought to myself, "wow, it's actually possible to do this."

The first time I insta-dated a girl from a coffee shop to a restaurant down the street for lunch, I thought to myself, "wow, it's actually possible to do this."

It's a long, difficult journey.

But for the love of God, don't be the man at the end of your life, who regrets the things he didn't do.

[No Habit]

Man thanks for the support guys.
Let me write about my first three approaches at the central station.

#1
I saw a 7 who went to the same high school with me. My heart was beating like crazy but I made myself approach because I knew I would regret it otherwise.

Me: Hi
Her: Hi, I know you, aren't you a friend of X?
Me: I don't think so, now we know each other anyway.

I did a train ride next to her but was behaving pretty beta. I noticed myself fidgeting around all the time and my voice was shivering. I didn't ask for a number cause I felt like all hope was lost already.

#2
I sat down on a bench and watched people going by. I waited until a 7 sat down next to me and gave me some IOIs.

Me: Hi, can you tell me what time it is?
Her, smiling: Sure it's X o'clock.
Me: Thank you, I have to get my train.

Then I just stormed off being nervous like crazy.

#3
An 8 sat down next to me.

Me: Hey can you tell me what time it is?
Her: Sure it's X o'clock.
Me: Thank you then I still got some time.
Her: Yea...
Me: Are you coming from school?
Her: Yes I go to school X.
Me: Ah ok. I go to school Y.
Her: What's your job?
Me: I am doing X.

We chat around a bit, my voice isn't that confident again. I didn't ran off though, so thats an improvement.

Her: Hm. I don't know why the hotspot isn't working on my phone, can you fix this?
Me: Let's have a look. *I try to fix her shit* No I don't think so.
Her: Bye, I have to catch my train.

I think I should have been more direct instead of chatting about school and job. I also shouldn't have tried to fix her phone, that was beta behaviour and she was using me.

I chose the "What's the time?" opener because there are clocks everywhere at the station so the girls know that I got some other intentions right away.

[masoud_akbari]

(01-16-2016 12:58 PM)1026 Wrote:  

Bro there are more important things in life than chasing tail.

Mental health is one...

Chasing tail can be a real tax on that.

Maybe your priorities should be centered on 'Bad Habit' for the time being & nothing else.

All else shall flow naturally.

Wish you all the best buddy.

Yeh it is not for everyone, it is for the people who are tough bastards who can handle anxiety and rejection, and are able to persevere even when the chips are down.


I don my cap to anyone who carries out game

[Huey]

(01-17-2016 07:03 PM)masoud_akbari Wrote:  

(01-16-2016 12:58 PM)1026 Wrote:  

Bro there are more important things in life than chasing tail.

Mental health is one...

Chasing tail can be a real tax on that.

Maybe your priorities should be centered on 'Bad Habit' for the time being & nothing else.

All else shall flow naturally.

Wish you all the best buddy.

Yeh it is not for everyone, it is for the people who are tough bastards who can handle anxiety and rejection, and are able to persevere even when the chips are down.


I don my cap to anyone who carries out game

[Beyond Borders]

Huey watch yourself buddy.

My main concern was for Bad Habit.

By his own admission,
- suffered a full blown psychosis
- took a 20 foot of a balcony
- is on psychiatric mens
- & has low self esteem

Not the mental state for day game.

Day Game can be absolutely brutal man, I was just saying maybe OP has bigger fish to fry.

Regardless I commend his courage & drive to better himself & complete his assignment.

As such I won't & haven't dissuade him any further.

@ O.P

Don't you feel better getting those approaches off?

Work more on being in the moment & not succumbing to your nervous energy.

I mean, the worst that could have happened didn't. Plough onwards buddy, looking forward to more of your write ups.

[Huey]

^ That GIF was for massoud.

(a) he starts a thread saying how he's given up on girls when this clearly isn't a MGTOW forum
(b) he then comes into this thread, no doubt justifying his own failure with women by making the above comment, in an attempt to dissuade OP from approaching girls ("Yeh it's not for everyone [...] I don my cap to anyone who carries out game)

I wanted to say more by saying less, and that GIF summed up my feelings perfectly.

[blck]

(01-17-2016 07:03 PM)masoud_akbari Wrote:  

Yeh it is not for everyone, it is for the people who are tough bastards who can handle anxiety and rejection, and are able to persevere even when the chips are down.

I don my cap to anyone who carries out game

Daygame is not for everyone...

[masoud_akbari]

(01-18-2016 11:06 AM)Huey Wrote:  

^ That GIF was for massoud.

(a) he starts a thread saying how he's given up on girls when this clearly isn't a MGTOW forum
(b) he then comes into this thread, no doubt justifying his own failure with women by making the above comment, in an attempt to dissuade OP from approaching girls ("Yeh it's not for everyone [...] I don my cap to anyone who carries out game)

I wanted to say more by saying less, and that GIF summed up my feelings perfectly.

Well, I don not like MGOTW forums though because they are whine, sulk, and blame everyone but themselves for fucking everything. Dont get me wrong, some of them are good, and there is plenty of things I can learn from them, as I can learn from you guys. Anyway this is not about me, it is about the OP.

I want to see the OP succeed with women, I want to hear about him getting laid, It makes me happy for him if that was to happen. Why would I want him to not approach any women? I was just stating that game (day game especially) can be tough, getting over anxiety isnt easy, so dont get a couple of "embarrasing" approaches ruin your day/make you feel down.

Best of luck mate

[heavy]

There's a lot of ways to go about this, but given your situation, I don't think your goal should be to run lines besides maybe the opener. It doesn't sound like you have a good foundation yet to 'run game' with, so I'd say go more honesty.

Own the anxiety when you're talking to a chic. Own your balding head.

"You know, I only asked you the time because you seemed nice...
like you wouldn't mind chatting up good looking fella who's thinning up top"

Smirk...or smile. Or just let that hang for a second.

Maybe you'll get a good conversation going. When the conversation dies...

"You know that awkward moment when the conversation dies..."

Better yet, have a couple tangible physical things in your head to say when your mind freezes. Let's say "apples" and "bikes"

"For some reason this morning I woke up thinking about apples. Not the red kind, but the yellow kind. It's been a while since I had a good yellow apple."

"For some reason this morning I woke up thinking about bikes. Yeah, I was thinking how my dad never knew how to ride a bike, and looking back, I think he just didn't feel like riding bikes with us, and that was his excuse he'd give."

Don't think of where the conversation will go, just have REAL, TANGIBLE, PHYSICAL things in your mind for when your brain freezes.

Go ahead. Do it right now when you're done reading this. Think of a physical item. Now just riff on that out loud.

Remember, everybody has an interesting story to tell. You just have to be in the right mindset. All it takes is you and her vibing a little, and you'll both feel comfortable to talk. You'll get a lot of chics not interested, but that's normal. The goal is to feel at ease with yourself.

(I might differ with others on this, but I think Mark Manson's book Models has some great advice. Owning your shit through honesty. I know it's helped me have confidence in my flaws in the past.)

[Stay]

How much has your sex life contributed to the state of your mental health would you say?

The west is a nightmare for women if you have low self esteem and are socially awkward. Most normal men are not particuarly comfortable when it comes to daygame. Most would never dream of it. For someone of your disposition your stress and anxiety levels must be similar to someones in a warzone.

Have you tried going to a country where the girls are easy to fuck?

[No Habit]

(01-18-2016 05:01 PM)heavy Wrote:  

Own the anxiety when you're talking to a chic. Own your balding head.

Thank you for the advice, I think that's a great perspective, never thought about it like this before. Also I just shaved my head and feel confident about the new way I look like now.

(01-19-2016 01:10 AM)Stay Wrote:  

How much has your sex life contributed to the state of your mental health would you say?

Have you tried going to a country where the girls are easy to fuck?

I don't know. Even me and my doc don't know what exactly caused the psychosis. Like I stated I had immense stress and no social life at all. I even quit the contact to my family for about a year before it happened.


I am currently rereading Bang and the Rational Male to prepare myself for further approaching.

[Stay]

Go to the philippines. When you approach you will likely get positive responses and get laid a few times.

[Silver_Tube]

Danger and Play's blog and podcasts have tips for introverts. Approach anxiety is real. Roosh' "Bang" has a good tip on visualizing the worst possible thing that could happen in a blown approach.

Just about the worst that can on a failed approach is bouncers/white knights beating you up and throwing you out of the party. I got kicked in the balls by a girl and thrown out by bouncers once, the ball-kick didn't hurt that bad. One time in DC I was escorted to the little 'drunk tank' room at a club (where they put the people that get in fights or freak out from drugs and stuff), they wouldn't believe me when I said I was sober and put me in handcuffs when I tried to walk out and go home. They kept me in the room for 4 hours then put me in an overpriced taxi and sent me on my way. After those awful nights I stopped giving a fuck. I guess it could get worse though, a jealous man might try to stab/shoot you.

It might do you some good to just learn to be comfortable around attractive women. Have you ever been to a strip club?

[No Habit]

Not planning to go to the Philippines or to a strip club right now.

I've used the time since my last post to step up my inner game. I know that I'm attractive now and had big opportunity today. Now all that's missing is to overcome that approach anxiety, though it has decreased a lot already. Hopefully I'll report about some new approaches the next days.

Right now I'm tired as shit. Didn't get a lot of sleep. I really appreciate your advice and feedback so far.

[No Habit]

I know I have to be careful with this but I also dropped one of my meds which was making me dull and sleepy. Plan with the doc was to drop it in a few weeks anyway. I am feeling much more emotions now. I'll watch myself and if everything stays positive I'll drop the second med, too. I am only taking a minimal dosis of this one so it shouldn't be that dangerous.

[No Habit]

I can't even do one fucking approach right now. It's like I see myself in my mind doing the approach but my body just won't move and do it.



I think when I did my first three approaches over a year ago I was so frustrated and angry about missing on opportunities that I just said "Fuck it! Let's do this!" and I did. I wish this shit will build up in me again to the point of overcoming it.

You guys have any advice on this?