[arribaperro]

Just some background. I'm in my 30s and my single mom is in her early 60s, but she's one of those rare women who looks 20 years younger than her real age. She met a doctor over 25 years ago when she was in her late 30s and he was in his early 30s. The doctor wooed her, then had an affair with her without revealing he was married. She was upset, but they remained friends over the years, especially as she values his opinions, however, she made it abundantly clear that since he's married with children, she doesn't want a sexual relationship with him. This has not deterred him and he continues to call, email, and tries to visit her. She may relent sometimes by his emotional gaming, but recently has emphasized she only wants to be "phone friends" and not meet-up friends.

As everyone is an adult, this should not concern me. However, I feel a little irked that my mom is being taken advantage of by a married guy. I feel somewhat defensive towards my mom. I only want the best for her, that's all.

What do you guys think? What would you do, if anything?

[AnonymousBosch]

(07-02-2014 12:58 AM)arribaperro Wrote:  

I feel a little irked that my mom is being taken advantage of by a married guy.

Standard girl game. Your mom knows exactly what's she doing, and is getting off on the sexual attention whilst having the plausible deniability of saying he's 'just a friend'.

Basically, stay out of it.

[WestIndianArchie]

(07-02-2014 01:06 AM)AnonymousBosch Wrote:  

(07-02-2014 12:58 AM)arribaperro Wrote:  

I feel a little irked that my mom is being taken advantage of by a married guy.

Standard girl game. Your mom knows exactly what's she doing, and is getting off on the sexual attention whilst having the plausible deniability of saying he's 'just a friend'.

Basically, stay out of it.

Watching your mom go all hypergamous is one of the worst feelings ever.

YOU'RE TOTALLY PLAYING THIS GUY..WAIT...WHAT..OH NO...NOT YOU TOO...

WIA

[RawGod]

(07-02-2014 12:58 AM)arribaperro Wrote:  

However, I feel a little irked that my mom is being taken advantage of by a married guy.
What do you guys think? What would you do, if anything?

ARISE AND GET THEE ON THY CHARGER!
   

[caracal]

"I'm not a cockblocker, but what if a married dude is hitting on your mom?"

Now let's change the title of this thread:

"I'm not a cockblocker, but what if a married chick is hitting on my son?"

Or, if you're married:

"I'm not a cockblocker, but my married son is hitting on this poor chick."

What would your opinion be if she started a thread like this?

Your mother likes feeding the hamster as much as any woman - and she did and probably still does like taking dick. Deal with it.

[Matt3B]

I'd white knight my mum or sister. Would you guys do the same for your daughters? I would.

It's my family. Their happiness comes first to me and if some dude is playing any one of them, I'm stepping in. Not even arsed.

I'd talk to my mum about it, then tell the dude to back off and threaten to tell his wife if he comes back.

BUT only if it's making your mum miserable. If she's happy, then whatever.

[ElJefe]

(07-02-2014 12:58 AM)arribaperro Wrote:  

The doctor wooed her, then had an affair with her without revealing he was married... she made it abundantly clear that since he's married with children, she doesn't want a sexual relationship with him.

Super hamster alert!

That said, women think with their pussies too much to know what's good for them. You can't be responsible for all of society, but you can be responsible for your immediate family. I'd collect the necessary incriminating evidence, tell the Dr. to back off or you will tell his wife.

You are the man-in-charge now - be the patriarch and tell that fucker to take a hike. He can get his pussy elsewhere.

[Mage]

Go and tell him straight to the eye: "Back off you motherfucker!"

[Beyond Borders]

^ On a certain level, I agree with the guys saying it's cool to be defensive of your mother and family. While some guys in the manosphere are happy with the way things are, others would rather the clock turned back on male/female dynamics, and that starts at home, especially if the women close to you share old-fashioned values worth preserving.

That said, the OP's mom knows that talking on the phone on a regular basis with a married man who she has slept with and who is clearly interested in more of her is a no-no. There's no such thing as "phone friends" in a situation like this.

I'm afraid she's already corrupted, and her hamster is spinning yours at this point.

It's a hard one to swallow, but just remember that she's only human. We all have our shortcomings.

Arnold Bennett may have some advice on learning to overlook the more human flaws of our parents and others (both from "The Human Machine"):

Quote:

If we regard ourselves as free agents, and the personalities surrounding us as the puppets of determinism, we shall have arrived at the working compromise from which the finest results of living can be obtained.

Quote:

One of the central secrets of efficient daily living is to leave our daily companions alone a great deal more than we do, and attend to ourselves.

[vinman]

Quote:

'RawGod'
ARISE AND GET THEE ON THY CHARGER!

I can't stop laughing!!
   

[Cattle Rustler]

Don't hate a playa, but love thy game. Let it run its course.

Some day you might turn into a milf Hunter game someone's mom.

[Merenguero]

(07-02-2014 03:48 AM)caracal Wrote:  

"I'm not a cockblocker, but what if a married dude is hitting on your mom?"

Now let's change the title of this thread:

"I'm not a cockblocker, but what if a married chick is hitting on my son?"

Or, if you're married:

"I'm not a cockblocker, but my married son is hitting on this poor chick."

What would your opinion be if she started a thread like this?

Your mother likes feeding the hamster as much as any woman - and she did and probably still does like taking dick. Deal with it.

Did he get banned for this?

[xpatplayer]

This is probably the funniest thread next to the one about someone getting his parents to bang again. (http://www.rooshvforum.network/thread-36574.html)

[Fitzgerald]

I've seen no mention of whether OP's mom is married or not.

[arribaperro]

(07-02-2014 02:53 PM)Fitzgerald Wrote:  

I've seen no mention of whether OP's mom is married or not.

Separated, then divorced.

[AnonymousBosch]

(07-02-2014 04:10 AM)MattC Wrote:  

I'd white knight my mum or sister. Would you guys do the same for your daughters? I would.

It's my family. Their happiness comes first to me and if some dude is playing any one of them, I'm stepping in. Not even arsed.

They have their own agency. Women have the power to refuse contact and entirely-wipe the existence of any non-useful man from their mind, with calculated coldness. If she's keeping up contact, she's getting something she likes out of the relationship, or she wouldn't bother.

The 'let's be friends' thing is her self-protection from social judgement clause for the audience watching, so they don't shame her for continuing contact with a married man. He's the bad man trying to take advantage of her sexually, she's just trying to be a 'nice person' who 'doesn't want to lose the friendship'.

Like I said, Standard Girl Game. It's a powerful enough tactic for a son to see his mother as a 'Victim' in this situation and rush to her defence, despite the fact that her keeping this man in her life whilst withholding sex from him because he's married is most likely a form of shit test. What she's actually saying: "If you want me, you must leave your wife."

Take the family off the pedestal. They're women before they're mothers, sisters and daughters. Women often value relationship drama over their own children.

[polymath]

It's your mom. Do what makes you feel comfortable.

Plenty of people you don't know on RVF will decry people they call "white knights" at every chance they get. Everyone has their own reasons for this, some being legitimate and some probably not. However, keep in mind that you are entitled to pursue a feeling of tranquility and satisfaction with your family life, and you shouldn't feel guilty about "white knighting" your own mom. Part of a man's role in a family is to take care of his own.

At the same time, I get the impression that your mom likes the attention. She has lived life for over 60 years, and she probably knows exactly what she's doing. Plus, she herself is single, so it's not like she's breaking any promises by talking to this dude on the phone.

I personally would leave it be, but not out of fear of being a "white knight."

[Tytalus]

It is none of your business, yet at the same time, I'd use shame as a tactic.

"Talking to a married man trying to bang you again mom? Classy."

[Cobra]

The idea of family trumps white knighting avoidance for me.

I consider it fairly red pill to protect family from potential douchebags.

That being said, if it's my sister, I would let it go.

If it's my mom, I wouldn't.

If it's my daughter, I would go beyond to maybe even teaching him a lesson in firearms.

[WilliamShatnersEgo]

This has been going on for 25 years. There is no way doc is taking advantage of anything. Mom likes the attention. Frankly, mom probably has a super pussy for doc to keep trying for a quarter of a century to break off another piece.

[Fortis]

I've seen my mom do this, so I don't particularly care. She knows exactly what's going on. Women have way more game than all but some of the best players out there. They're born--no bred for this sort of thing. I totally get why you're bent out of shape, but you just have to keep yourself out of it. If I snooped around on all my mother's "activities" then I would have lost my mind a long time ago.