[MikeinMKE]

It happened again - Even though I've banged 5 different girls in the past 2.5 weeks during my triumphant return to game, I am still a sniveling beta pussy when I encounter a girl that I value as "potential relationship material". WTF? After at least 4 years of gaming, having a success rate that I would have never dreamed of, hard closing for the bang like a mofo with pride-inducing regularity… it happened again last night. Despite me recognizing past mistakes, despite having seen 6 out of 6 times over the past 4 years that when I really do meet a girl that I could see myself with for a while, I blow it by acting too beta, I keep having these issues...

I meet up with this girl that mutual friends set us up with (maybe that had something to do with it) and when I walked up and saw here sitting there, something about her just hammered me with "this girl is quality, this girl is relationship material, this girl is really pretty/classy/intelligent", etc. I'm talking immediately I had these thoughts, and they only grew stronger throughout the night.

Look, game will still benefit us all even when we're in pussy pedestal mode like I was. I venue changed, initiated and escalated contact, neg'd her playfully, made out with her between the 2nd and last venue in an alley, etc. I did Roosh's "take my elbow" thing between the 1st and 2nd venues, I had her give me the comically short ride from her car to mine at the end of the date so I could make out with her again/show off my car. So it's not like I'm a sniveling newbie, but I still wasn't myself.

Here's what I did differently last night v's girls I want to fuck immediately and don't put on pedestal:

1. My eye contact was horrible last night
2. My physical escalations were tentative, to the point where I was relieved when she kind of encouraged me by grabbing me back
3. My eye contact was so bad. Why was I so timid about looking into her eyes?
4. I wasn't as snarky as usual - my jokes, playful neg's were pretty tame and carefully considered
5. Trying to get her home wasn't really an option as we had talked about our respective early wake up calls this morning plus the logistics weren't ideal, but I still didn't try to escalate as much as I might have with girl I wasn't doe eyed for
   

Thank God for this forum and for Uncle Roosh. Thank God I have inherent "venue change" "take my arm" "escalate contact" "go for make out during date" knowledge hardwired in me by this point. Thank God that most guys are clueless and if you show any confidence/skill whatsoever these days you tend to seem like a Don Juan to a normal chick.

But fellas, any other great threads or advice on how to keep my frame with the girl that I do want to date long term? I think the simplest answer is just to "treat her like everybody else" but it's so damn hard to keep in that frame. Even with quantity… even with a fun little sloot 14 years younger than me texting me begging for my dick during this date (would have never dreamed of that 5 years ago), I was falling into some of the beta traps. The good news is that it doesn't seem like I maimed my cause, I got the impression she was very into me… I just want to gain my normal swagger and proceed like a champ into whatever this becomes.

[kinjutsu]

Ok a few things.

Overall you did pretty well. There is such a thing as overgaming a girl. It happens to guys who are uncalibrated in their game.
Not looking at a girl has never been a deal breaker imo, it means that yoou're mind is on other important things.
Ideally since this was a setup from a friend the push to fuck her wasn't as urgent. You're already pre-selected, a huge chunk of the work has been done for you.

You're human. Relax. Not every girl you meet with be a freshly legal club slut looking to get banged out. Maybe you underestimate your own skill. Subconsciously you calibrated you game and dialed the intensity back because you saw value in her.

Being bold in your actions is great until you blow yourself out with a girl who would've hooked up with you but you over-sexualized the interaction too soon.

[From Vegas to Tokyo]

Not every girl is going to be a perfect setup. Maybe you were having an off day, maybe it just wasn't right, but the most important thing is that you know what you're doing wrong. You know how to fix it.

It took me a while to game girls really well within my social circle. I grew up as a classic beta - well mannered, soft spoken, and sensitive - and to get out of that took a pretty drastic personality change. "No More Mr. Nice Guy" was what really saved me, but for a while, I'd have girls trying to set me up based on the beta that I was before, and I'd be afraid to game well in fear that it'd blow up in my face and I'd lose face with the friend who set us up. If this sounds familiar, let me give you some advice.

You cannot be afraid of game blowing up in your face. By definition, you will get more hard rejections by using game. Even the best players get blown out of the water sometimes. One might come back to bite you in the ass. Whatever. The thing about game is that it gets a whole lot easier when you become unapologetically yourself. If someone you know isn't going to like you, because you know what you want and aren't afraid to take it, fine. Don't put yourself around those people, they only bring you down. You'll also find when you're unapologetically yourself, people are drawn to you. Way more pluses than minuses.

[MikeinMKE]

Well hell - she didn't text me back. I discussed my mistakes above, but all in I'm pretty surprised.

Still venue changed, playfully neg'd, escalated to makeout with lots of KINO, etc. 3+ hour date we each had at least 4 drinks.

I'm now 0/7 with girls that I am really into (at least 4 of whom I've makeout closed and had solid first dates with).

With girls that I would bang but not pedestalize I'm like 34/60 with 20+ bangs over the past 18 months - at least 12 of those bangs on first date.

Not sure how I could have escalated any further that night - we had talked about how early we get up for work, she had a drive back etc. etc.

[MY DETROIT PLAYAS]

IMHO It sounds like you are putting too much pressure on yourself, and "pressure busts pipes".

Your first 3 words - 'It happened again' are indicative that you are being too hard on yourself

This lifestyle has ups, down, peaks and valleys, streaks and droughts.

Unfortunately, you can't "rig" the system - some bad bitches will slip through your grasp occasionally, and since no two girls are alike sometimes "going by the book" won't even cut it.

One thing that helped me when I ran into this as a young cat was to ask her about her "flaws" (Forgetfulness, clumsiness, tardiness etc) or what she would improve about herself.

This not only helps "humanize" a "9" in your eyes & give you possible future playful negs but it helps you relax throughout the rest of the interaction.

[MikeinMKE]

Good stuff MDP

[kaotic]

(06-26-2014 08:33 AM)MY DETROIT PLAYAS Wrote:  

IMHO It sounds like you are putting too much pressure on yourself, and "pressure busts pipes".

Your first 3 words - 'It happened again' are indicative that you are being too hard on yourself

This lifestyle has ups, down, peaks and valleys, streaks and droughts.

Unfortunately, you can't "rig" the system - some bad bitches will slip through your grasp occasionally, and since no two girls are alike sometimes "going by the book" won't even cut it.

One thing that helped me when I ran into this as a young cat was to ask her about her "flaws" (Forgetfulness, clumsiness, tardiness etc) or what she would improve about herself.

This not only helps "humanize" a "9" in your eyes & give you possible future playful negs but it helps you relax throughout the rest of the interaction.

Totally agree i remember a post about a 9 - I remember (this might be on ROK) that imagine that HB 9 taking the nastiest shit ever. Talk about humanizing her and knocking her down a few pegs (in your head, so you can think clearer)

[OnlyMarryInTajikistan]

You care too much.

You must always be willing to lose a girl. If you find yourself filtering your words, you care too much, pure and simple. Don't filter yourself, you can even insult her if you want, most girls will take a lot of abuse if your frame is right.

[MikeinMKE]

Yeah - interesting that this thread got bumped because I met another "relationship girl" and made a thread about her as well. So that's a 4 month span where I've met 2 "relationship girls" and probably dated 15 girls that I don't care much about in between the two.