As you can see it's my first post, but I have been a bit of a lurker for some time. Anyway, I got to thinking the other day that it's hard to know at times if women like you during the first approach if you are new/rusty to the game. While some women make it obvious, others are very subtle. That being said would it make sense to approach her, talk to her a while, then say "it's been nice talking to you" or "maybe I'll call you later", than just walk away without getting number? I would think if she liked you she would say something like "aren't you gonna get my number"? or something like that. Wouldn't this show that you are outcome independent and have a devil may care attitude? Plus you get to find out right away if she likes you, instead of her giving you her number to be nice, giving you a fake number, or flaking. Don't know if this has been done by anyone, but thought I'd run it by you guys before trying it.
Can not asking for number be successful
Just take the initiative. You can't always win but don't be afraid to fail.
You may get rejected. It hurts for about 1-2 mins, then afterwards you quickly forget it. The upside is that you took the chance.
You may get rejected. It hurts for about 1-2 mins, then afterwards you quickly forget it. The upside is that you took the chance.
“No man has the right to be an amateur in the matter of physical training. It is a shame for a man to grow old without seeing the beauty and strength of which his body is capable.”
-Socrates
Quote: (06-13-2014 06:08 PM)little wing Wrote:
Just take the initiative. You can't always win but don't be afraid to fail.
You may get rejected. It hurts for about 1-2 mins, then afterwards you quickly forget it. The upside is that you took the chance.
Maybe I wasn't clear enough in my first post. I not afraid to fail but trying to DHV. The way I figure she will be thinking "why is he not trying to get my number, what's wrong with me, I thought he liked me and everything was going good"? Depending on how good you game her she will get her hopes up getting emotionally invested while thinking about the "future with you" only to be let down and not be good enough for you all of a sudden, she may panic at that point and not restrain herself in wondering why you don't get number.
That is not a DHV. A DHV would be to say, "hey I have to go to a client meeting, so I can't chat, but you should give me your number and I'll text you when my friends and I go out this weekend." Boom, you just demonstrated that you have (1) a career and (2) a social circle.
If you already approached the girl, then you already IOI'd. You can't take that back and look disinterested by not asking for a number. That's like ordering dessert but refusing to ask for a spoon with which to eat it.
1. The girl doesn't care if you are outcome-independent. She cares if you are needy. Being outcome-independent is simply a way to avoid demonstrating neediness.
2. A girl doesn't just magically like you or not. She's willing to play the game with most guys. That's why it's easier to get a number than to kiss, easier to kiss than to fuck, etc. It's all a game, and you play it in stages.
3. Even if a girl likes you, she is probably not going to take the initiative to make you take her number. Sometimes it happens, but it is more likely that she will say something like "oh, well, ok bye!"
If you want a girl's number, get it from her. Ask for it, tell her to give it to you, mention calling her and wait for her to offer it...whatever your style is, go get the number. Without a way to contact her, you don't exist in her world.
More importantly, you said something about being new/rusty to the game. To that, I have some general advice:
Don't just sit at the chess board and wait for the person sitting at the other end of the table to make your moves for you.
If you don't try, 9 times out of 10 she's gonna assume you either did not want it, or were too afraid to go for it.
If you already approached the girl, then you already IOI'd. You can't take that back and look disinterested by not asking for a number. That's like ordering dessert but refusing to ask for a spoon with which to eat it.
1. The girl doesn't care if you are outcome-independent. She cares if you are needy. Being outcome-independent is simply a way to avoid demonstrating neediness.
2. A girl doesn't just magically like you or not. She's willing to play the game with most guys. That's why it's easier to get a number than to kiss, easier to kiss than to fuck, etc. It's all a game, and you play it in stages.
3. Even if a girl likes you, she is probably not going to take the initiative to make you take her number. Sometimes it happens, but it is more likely that she will say something like "oh, well, ok bye!"
If you want a girl's number, get it from her. Ask for it, tell her to give it to you, mention calling her and wait for her to offer it...whatever your style is, go get the number. Without a way to contact her, you don't exist in her world.
More importantly, you said something about being new/rusty to the game. To that, I have some general advice:
Don't just sit at the chess board and wait for the person sitting at the other end of the table to make your moves for you.
If you don't try, 9 times out of 10 she's gonna assume you either did not want it, or were too afraid to go for it.
Unless there is very strong attraction, if you leave without asking her number she will not volunteer it. She'll also respond:"okay, it was nice meeting you. Take care." Women, even attractive ones, are afraid that you'll reject their offering their phone number. You just need to man up and ask for it -- ideally during the middle part of your conversation and not the tail end.
The only...and this is a maybe....only possible time it may be a benefit not going for the number in the first interaction is if you know you will see this girl again. ie....she's in your class, she works with you or she's studying at a coffee shop for the next month for her mCAt, etc. and you know you'll see her again.....AND.....you aren't quite 'feeling it' on the first interaction. In other words...if you know you'll see her again combined with the fact that you can sense she's not really attracted yet ( she answers with short answers...doesn't ask you questions....she's polite but not curious about you ).....then, you don't ask for the number....but over time....on subsequent encounters...you build attraction and as soon as you sense it go for the number.
Now, in all other cases if you sense any reciprocity on her part....ie. she asks about you, your name, job, etc or shows other signs of attraction in your talk.....always end with asking for the number.
Now, in all other cases if you sense any reciprocity on her part....ie. she asks about you, your name, job, etc or shows other signs of attraction in your talk.....always end with asking for the number.
- One planet orbiting a star. Billions of stars in the galaxy. Billions of galaxies in the universe. Approach.
#BallsWin
Not asking for her number can be successful, but if it were to be successful, asking for her number wouldn't have hurt you in any way. If she wants you to ask for her number so badly that she's thrown when you didn't in a way thats a DHV, she wouldn't care if you did ask for her number.
Always ask for her number.
Always ask for her number.
Well, thanks for the replies everyone. I'm glad I told you guys about this before I decided to try it. I came to the realization that in the past I would always automatically ask for the number regardless of whether the girl indicated interest or not. After reading daybang and RVF, I am more aware that my judgement get really clouded with me liking the girl, and not really paying attention to what the girl does. A large part of the game is not wasting time on non-prospects and being efficient. I cringe at howmuch time I've spent on girls that just were not interested in me. If the girl does not show interest than why bother asking for the number and contacting her, just on the off chance that she might be interested in you later, dumps her boy friend, or other possibilities taht may come up. It so much easier and just move on to the countless supply of other girls that you might have a better chance with.
Give her your number. Then, she knows that she has to call you. And you already have her doing the chasing.
Girls give out fake numbers all the time.
Girls give out fake numbers all the time.
Not asking for her number seems like a fantastic way to waste time on a wasted opportunity that otherwise could have led to something enjoyable. Seems pretty fucking stupid to me to walk away without getting her number... A girl that likes you isn't going to think less of you for taking initiative and getting her number.
I honestly doubt it for the majority of interactions. reason being women are WOMEN...and thus we as men have to lead the interaction.
granted sometimes not asking for the number has helped me tremendously with SNL's since I don't want the number im after the close
granted sometimes not asking for the number has helped me tremendously with SNL's since I don't want the number im after the close
Quote: (06-14-2014 09:40 PM)puckerman Wrote:
Give her your number. Then, she knows that she has to call you. And you already have her doing the chasing.
Girls give out fake numbers all the time.
Exactly what I was thinking. Obviously, a lot of variables come into play.
But I hate feeling like I am at the mercy of her picking up the phone/answering a text/being available.
At times, I have just nonchalantly passed my business card with a sly "give me a call sometime".
It has worked when the girl has a strong attraction and the conversation went well. At times, I never heard back which is cool no harm no foul.
Point is, due to having an abundancy attitude I have 0 regrets.
A girl can give you her number and not be the least bit interested
On the other hand, if she takes the effort to pick up that Iphone and hit up old MDP then my chances at closing just went up astronomically. Instant DHV test.
She has shown some investment/pursuit and compliance - all in one fell swoop.
Worth it for me to turn the tables, and stand out from other orbitor's
MDP
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