[jtteop]

Greetings Rooshers

I thought I would do a post to properly introduce myself and tell a little about my story.

I am not someone in need of immediate help with women, being in a long term relationship. However it hasn't always been that way! Once I was what some people call an 'incel' and fairly bitter and angry about it. So I know exactly what the feelings are of someone in that situation. During that time I developed my own 'red pill' knowledge to try and understand my lack of success with women inspite of the fact that I was judged to be tall and good looking.

My basic problem was that I didn't understand the social environment because I wasn't connected directly with the social environment. There was a wall of deluded culture between me and the real social environment. Even when I interpreted things in my own red pill way it didn't help as it meant that I had a divergent ideology from other people. I later discovered game as a means of punching through that wall in order to view and manipulate the social environment. However, even using game the wall still remains.
One solution is to view the social environment directly, however this has its dangers… but I won't get ahead of myself here.

Due to some fortuitous circumstances I happened to gain the ability to see the psycho-sexual environment directly. This was both a good and a bad thing and confirmed a lot of the 'proto-redpill' ideas I had been developing from a philosophical point of view, while blowing some of them out of the water and making others irrelevant.

Later, once I had been though this whole crisis I had to work out a way forward. The key problem was that my new knowledge seemed to have no contemporary antecedents. Worse, talking about it tends to collapse the social environment. This is because the social environment emerges out of certain emotional and sexual systems, and there is no way to go beyond those systems to discuss those systems themselves, without the involvement of those systems. - Probably I don't explain that very well but that's the nature of the beast.

Another way of putting it is that there nothing but game. There's just good game and really bad game that doesn't work. Game that might have worked in a time or place but doesn't work now.

Infact this very post is game!

What I decided to do in about 2007 was to make a chronological compilation of all my writings and attempts to understand the world both as an 'aspie incel' and as an aware person with the transitional part in-between also documented. This year I finally put this book on Amazon where of course no one bought it, but it wasn't my original intention to put it out there in anything other than a legacy sense. I'm not even going to put a link to that unless I'm asked for it because I know no-one would buy it and it would probably be seen as spam anyway.

Then there was the Elliot Rodgers incident and I reassessed the situation. I could see that not only were some people leading sad, deluded lives like I had led, but also they could pose a direct danger to people other than themselves so if I could help I really should help rather than be worried about the unknown effect on society.

So here I am ready to help if I can, but also to learn from other members as everyone has their own unique experiences.

One question I might ask is whether anyone has been through a similar transformational experience in their understanding of the world? By that I mean in particular learning about yourself as well as just learning how to use game on women.

[OneIdea]

Too verbose.

Re. my transformational experience: Terminally shy around girls until about 16, when we had a hot live-in maid working at our house. I discovered that if I made her laugh, she was nice to me and did chores that I was supposed to do—and if I teased her about her dating, she got hot for me.

Banged her out for the year or so she worked for us.

After that, figured it out: Make girls laugh, she gets wet.

OneIdea

[Constitution45]

I suppose a lot of men turn towards the red pill and the manosphere as a whole, because they are finally able to articulate and recognise why they were feeling so unfulfilled and stifled in the past. A lot of this begins with understanding game, and from that you understand male and female nature; the differences. When applied to the bigger picture, of the philosophy people adhere to in their lives as a collective; it then becomes this figurative matrix.

The education, media and even family households are centred around feminine principles. Often focusing on the consumer power of women and men who will do anything to have sex. It's a lot like a game that you have no choice but to play in. Life is challenging enough, without these added distractions and hurdles that are put in the way.

A boy like Elliot Rogers would have a different outcome, if he was given a rite of passage, like hunting with his father at a young age; or even better, if a male role model was there to tell him how he could attract and get women. When you miss these basic natural truths, individuals become overcomplicated and narcissistic.

A lot of males have to get to grips with their sexuality and find hobbies, interests, passions that don't revolve around women. This would give them a lot healthier existence, and paradoxically get them to grips with their sexualities, probably in the process make them better with women.

[jtteop]

(06-17-2014 10:07 AM)Constitution45 Wrote:  

I suppose a lot of men turn towards the red pill and the manosphere as a whole, because they are finally able to articulate and recognise why they were feeling so unfulfilled and stifled in the past. A lot of this begins with understanding game, and from that you understand male and female nature; the differences...

That's true. My internal theory of women to start off with was that they were like me. And I think a basic feminist position is that men and women are the same mentally. When I discovered that they weren't like me I didn't understand them at all. Some guys seemed to intuitively understand them and therefore were able to have relationships with them, however many guys don't so need game to provide a way to structure their actions in the wake of traditional romance now being dead.

[WestIndianArchie]

"whether anyone has been through a similar transformational experience in their understanding of the world? By that I mean in particular learning about yourself as well as just learning how to use game on women. "

1st really bad Break Up - drives you to game
1st Break Up after learning game - drives you to the red pill

For me, the good and bad experiences have shown me actually how much better my life would be if women, or any particular woman was not the center of it.

I'd say over the last 2/3 years, it's been much more about doing what I want to do regardless of its effect on my ability to bag chicks...and once I stopped really caring about that - the more other things in my life that were important (career advancement for instance) became less important.

I don't want to cringe when I come home from the office, having to deal with some chick.

And I don't want to cringe at the job, having to deal with some boss or some bullshit work.

What is really important?

Me.

I am important.

My mental health is important. My physical health is important. My physical fitness is important. How I spend my time is important. What I choose to work on is important.

Helping this sexy broad out another self-induced problem? Not important.

We've already had sex. I'm already bored. She's already getting on my nerves with all of her moods and emotional needs. She's not giving me what I give her in any way, shape, or form. It's take take take. Even when she's giving me sex, I have to please her. It's one sided with no end in sight. They almost are always like that.

Getting the TPS reports on someone's desk by 8:30 am? Not important.

Tens of millions, hundreds of millions, billions of dollars are at stake. But they pay me hourly and the chances of me getting a real cut of that cash are impossible, because what they pay my boss is peanuts. And he pays me in shells.

Game makes you realize that. Game makes you realize that you're being manipulated to do tangible things for paltry intangible goals.

She games you for everything your worth.
And whatever you have left, the job takes from you.

At least the chick(s) in your life isn't consciously malicious.

WIA

[Remington]

Getting jumped by 5 guys in Richmond really changed me. After getting my ass kicked, I decided to work out a lot more to get stronger, got in on some MMA classes to learn how to better defend myself. Also think it made me a better man because it taught me that I am not invincible and that I need to keep myself grounded. Real life altering experience.

[draguer]

Smashed a beautiful, sweet feminine Russian girl when I was on holiday.

That pulled the pedestalization out from under any other girl I come across 99.9% of the time.

[Truth Teller]

Having 2 real girlfriends throughout all of high school and not getting laid. First one was a crazy bitch who tried to get me locked up. Second one was just a crazy bitch who sent her family after me when I did things she didn't like. I fail to attract the women I'm interested in throughout high school.

I'm 17 at this point, and I realize there has to be a better way. I read The Game by Neil Strauss in an afternoon at Barnes and Noble. I start Googling stuff like "how to get better with women." I buy an eBook. I start to apply it, inner game only though. I get rejected from 6 of my top choice colleges- I develop indifference to outcome. I go to college, and I say "fuck it." I make 15 approaches in 2 nights. I get blown out 5 times in a row on another night.

I get my first taste of success- I make out with a girl after talking to her for all of 10 minutes. I jump into game headfirst.

[jtteop]

Well those experiences whilst perhaps transformational in some ways was not exactly what I had in mind. I think that puberty is the first 'transformation' that everyone goes though but that it is quite different for males and females. With males it is generally the sudden desire for women and sex which is generally unfulfilled at that time, whereas for females it is an awareness of fertility and of being desired by men and perhaps not knowing how to deal with that.

In the case of Rodger Elliot it was a transformation that he could never fully accept or deal with and he sought to hang onto his childhood understanding of things which led to utter disaster:

Quote:

One friend who I met through a chat room suddenly emailed me pictures of beautiful naked girls, telling me to “check this out”. When I looked at the pictures, I was shocked beyond words. I had never seen what beautiful girls looked like naked, and the sight filled me with strong and overwhelming emotions. I didn’t know what was happening to me. Was it the first inkling of sexual desire in my body? I
was traumatized. My childhood was fading away. Ominous fear swept over me, and I stopped talking to that person.

One time while I was alone at Planet Cyber, I saw an older teenager watching pornography. I saw in detail a video of a man having sex with a hot girl. The video showed him stick his penis inside a girl’s vagina. I didn’t know anything about sex at the time. I barely even knew what sex was. I was slowly
starting to develop sexual feelings for hot girls, but I didn’t know what to do with them. To see this video really traumatized me. I had no idea what I was seeing... I couldn’t imagine human beings doing such things with each other. The sight was shocking, traumatizing, and arousing. All of these feelings mixed together took a great toll on me. I walked home and cried by myself for a bit. I felt too guilty about what I saw to talk to my parents about it. I was quite shaken for a few days.
This was among the very first glimpses I had of sex. Finding out about sex is one of the things that truly destroyed my entire life. Sex... the very word fills me with hate. Once I hit puberty, I would always want it, like any other boy. I would always hunger for it, I would always covet it, I would always fantasize about it. But I would never get it. Not getting any sex is what will shape the very foundation of my miserable youth. This was a very dark day.
Soon enough, I would inevitably find out about what sex was, whether I saw that foul video or not. Boys at my school started talking about it. Connor Hanrahan and his friend Jordan Carlton one day told me exactly what happens when a man and a woman have sex. Finding out about sex was just the beginning of my horrific downfall.

Now this is what I wrote quite some time about my sexual awakening:

Quote:

In the beginning there was masturbation, and it was good.
Or so it seemed, as my earliest memory is essentially of masturbation; ie rubbing my sexual organs against things, bodily, in order to produce pleasurable sensations. This is before I could talk, and was in a cot, in nappies, that I found I could gain pleasure by stimulating a certain part of myself.

Throughout childhood I developed this art. Not knowing if it was a special gift I was physically endowed with, or whether a skill that anyone could develop, I tried to evangelise it. I believe I was successful in doing so, to some persons.
[How? No, (sigh) it’s not what you’re thinking. There was no showing, no touching, no demonstration, no group ‘session’, just the quiet rational imparting of information, as in a sex ed class]

I tried to tell my mother, except she didn’t seem to click. This was either by misunderstanding, or deliberate ignoring of my explainandum of the phenomena, for which I had developed my own words, and was thus like a little private language.

I even tried to tell some friends about it but do not believe I was very successful in that regard.
I thought I’d discovered this great new thing, and if I could just tell people about it their lives could be improved, and it would be for the benefit of all humanity if it could be made public.

But no one seemed to want to know...and so believing myself to be the only one to have these thoughts, I kept silent.

Moreover, sensing that the whole issue was socially unacceptable, I eventually refrained from my evangelistic efforts.

Then I began to understand that this thing was connected with sexual relations between men and women. I realised this before the onset of puberty. Still however, it was an undirected self pleasuring, until I noticed (aside from the physical) one distinct change:

I would be rewarded by extra pleasure for thoughts associated with females.

I found this intriguing.

(Some aspects of life I previously couldn’t understand became clearer. Eg: I would see kissing on TV, and wonder why it was not denounced, as as it seemed contrary to everything I was taught about actions to prevent the transmission of disease. Plus, I couldn’t see why anyone would want to do that, it seemed at odds with social taboo’s, in that it seemed to violate health and social standards.)

Mainly though, there was an amazement that fantasies involving females could now heighten my pleasure. I experimented with rolling the thoughts of bizarre animal actions through my mind and was amazed at the results. Though it did perturb me slightly. Did I really want these disgusting things to happen?
I wondered whether to indulge this odd whim (mentally). It seemed like I was being invaded by a foreign force, intent on changing my thinking about females, which I had always thought of as being fundamentally undifferentiated from males, but with a tendency to strange inclinations in ‘play’ which I did not share.

I tried to resist this change in thinking about females, but gradually it became integrated with my personality in a way that I could no longer exactly tell the old me from the desires of the new. But never was the division lost, and I can still vaguely remember how I thought before this change took place. I regarded it as the original rational me, and the other desires as those of another more recent interloper, who was animal and base. Like a creature which I needed to appease with mental stimuli rather than pleasuring my self with purely physical manipulation.

Finally compare it to how one young feminist feels:

Quote:

I'm an "aspiring" feminist. I read articles on gender issues, I speak out against overtly sexist comments, and in thought I believe in the main concepts of feminism. However, I reserve the honor of titling myself as a feminist because I have a few weaknesses. I dress my body for male attention and I have grown dependent on receiving positive feedback about my body. I feel guilty about taking advantage of the way I resemble society's idea of "sexy" (sorry for sounding so vain), because I feel it is at the expense of women who might not be treated with the privilege of being what people consider "good-looking." But when I stop trying to look "hot", I become self-conscious and I feel powerless.

I am a feminist and in public social situations I am a strong defender of female equality, but when it comes to sexuality I am very different. I often find myself sexually attracted to very masculine, assertive men (who aren't generally concerned with gender issues). I enjoy being servile, being the "pretty little sex object," being treated like the alpha male's prize. I'm ashamed to admit that since it contrasts so starkly with my feminist principles. How do I reconcile my ideology with my sexual instincts? Am I still a feminist if I am aware of self-objectification, but continue to do it?

In each case there is sex and what that means, and there is the inability to deal with it because of some kind of public ideology that the person has. In each case there is a transformation involved which shows that that ideology is all just one big lie (and there is a person smart enough to realise it). For me, Elliot Rodger and feminism puberty was the original red pill and in each case failure to swallow it was fairly disastrous.

Of course there are many other transformational experiences as well, but that's just one example.