[Timbuk2]

(In France)

Howdy all.

Had a great time hanging out with some friends yesterday morning, on my way home I stumbled upon a gorgeous black girl learning to ride a bike.

Slim, fashionable, cartoon-sized mop of curly hair, long legs in designer ripped black stockings, doesn't speak english. It's go time!

Now, I dig bicycles, so I sauntered over when she was manually turning the bike around (still learning to turn...), and explained to her in my broken french that she should cover the brake levers with two fingers all the time--because it's hard to move your fingers when there's a surprise like a car door or unexpected pedestrian. I tell her it's cool that she's learning, better late than never.

I look around for a guy helping her, but there's just her friend, an equally cute white girl (later found out they're both 20. I'm 30, 6'4", slim, look young).

I roll cigarettes with them, chat, etc. for an hour on the bench. Covered boats, cool cafes, bit of claptrap. A guy rolls up on a motorcycle, kisses the white friend, and the four of wander off to a cafe for a few beers.

It had been super fun with just the two girls, but the language level rocketed up after the new guy (who I liked and who liked me) made the language balance shift to native-level french, so it was hard to follow along. After about an hour, we split up. The guy gave me his number, I got the black girl's number.

Anyway, she liked me. Not an insane connection (the other girl was more lively), but I'd like to hang out with her again and she was happy to give me her number. Should have hyped it up a bit more with something like "don't forget how to ride before we see each other again, there might be a test next week, I'm still deciding. There's a bar near me that's fun on the weeknights."

It's been 24 hours. Was going to wait another day and invite her over on Tuesday or Thursday night. Rent bikes, go somewhere fun, have a drink, then another in my apt (sweet apt i rented in a cool location, record player, sea view...)



Give me a recipe!

[Saweeep]

Haven't you just answered your own question?

[rudebwoy]

Why wait another day?
Set something up for Tuesday, tell her to meet you at the bar.

[Timbuk2]

Thanks for the responses, guys. You're right rudebwoy, should have contacted her today. The connection was good but not watertight; I reckon it would have been better to keep the momentum going. Spent the evening on the phone with my family and translating books for language practice.

Now it's Sunday 11PM. Message Monday morning or evening?

(05-25-2014 04:30 PM)rudebwoy Wrote:  

Why wait another day?
Set something up for Tuesday, tell her to meet you at the bar.

[rudebwoy]

Hmmmm too late to text her now, so I would go with Monday afternoon. Don't want her thinking you woke up and thought about her.

[20Nation]

don't overthink it. Send her a message for a date, then go get a ton more numbers so you won't over think something that you shouldnt be overthinking.

[Timbuk2]

Thanks for the responses.

We met up tonight, she was bubbly and energetic. We walked to the bar we'd planned to go to.

Chatted about our recent days, etc. I found out she's in school to be a chef. talked about some other things. She said she's shy and would like to learn english, but doesn't talk a lot.

She asks my age. I tell her to guess. She says twenty eight (I'm older than that obv.). I guess her age and it turns out she's nineeten. I tell her I'm 29.

At the bar, she orders a grapefruit juice (A pity. Earlier, I'd put a few interesting beers in my fridge. Maybe it'd have been a good idea to get her to have a sip of my beer at the bar to warm her up). I pay for my beer and her juice.

We get back to my apt (cool rented apartment, great views, record player, etc.) She loves the fresh veggies in the kitchen. But... even though I told her the other day that it's rented, she asks questions about everything as if it's mine. I don't correct her the first time, and experience mild panic when she starts asking stuff like "does the TV work?" I just have tod guess. I guessed "not really," and was pleasantly surprised when it turned on but showed static in all the channels. Then she asked what a fabric thing on the floor was. My mind was racing--bean bag chair? Comforter? Blanket? I chose blanket and was again pleasantly surprised. Blanket! Dunno why I didn't correct her the first time she said "oh you have so many books," but it was fun to play this impromptu guessing game. In a week I'm going to have to move, so I'll retroactively claim "language barrier" (this this is all happening in french).

We sit next to each other on the couch (ceiling light is on) After reading a few pages of an english book together and translating it to french, I start quizzing her on body part words. Eventually she shows me her earrings and leans in. I go in for a kiss and... she kisses me platonically and then gradually backs away and smiles a shy smile.

So I turn down the lights (now lighting is great...), wait ~15m and try again. We're listening to reggae music now, dancing (I suck at it, she's great), but I work through some cool old partner moves that I learned years ago. It's not awesome (dancing is not my thing), but it's fun.

Right after the very short (her mouth barely open, less than 2 seconds). She asks if I think she's too young. I tell her "well, you know how to ride a bike and cook. If you learn to play guitar I think you'll be fine." She says "what about our friends." And I say "It'll work."

Anyway... We dance close to one another for a song, and then eventually she has to leave.

In the hall, I call the elevator and go for one final kiss. I tell her it's hard to tell anything in a one-second kiss. She gives her same disinterested, shy response and politely, enthusiastically says that we should see each other again in a week.

--

Would like to hear your analysis and ideas on where to go from here.

[AneroidOcean]

(05-27-2014 05:45 PM)Timbuk2 Wrote:  

Would like to hear your analysis and ideas on where to go from here.

I think you took her to your place a bit quickly, although you handled yourself decently well. With the language barrier you really have to go into the physical and use as much body language as possible.

You're in France! Why not bring a bottle of wine to your next date or tell her that you're going to choose a wine for her? She's going to school to become a chef, this is what I'd recommend, introduce her to your local wines.

[rudebwoy]

Your too eager for the kiss, you have to let the tension build up a bit. She sees your "game" and she is testing you, play cool as it seems she is interested.
You weren't going to get the pussy on the first date and you may not get it on the next date.
Why do you have to answer her questions? Your at your place, she doesn't have to know it is rented.
How much do you know about her? You said she kept asking if this is yours, sounds like she is calculating how much money you have or sizing you up.
I say give it a few days, text her for next week. Ask her to come over and show you what she learnt in chef school today (cook you dinner). You will buy the ingredients.

Do not buy into her shy routine, it is an act. Play it cool and go out and game other girls.

[Timbuk2]

Howdy rudebwoy-thanks for the feedback.

Here are some random thoughts.

Ha, she will find out it is rented because I only have it until Sunday. She was just asking about stuff, the way you would if you were in a cool apt. "Oh, comics! I like this painting. Nice tea container..." It wasn't sinistre inquisition. But I don't know much about her other than that she chills all the time in the park with her friend. The two of them are just normal young girls.

Is there a smooth way to keep it casual? I'd like to be her rare exotic, fun hookup, not her boyfriend. I don't need to see her parents, her friends, etc. More like, go for a bike ride, lay in the park, go back to my apt and get together. Could be as infrequent as once every two weeks. That would be idea. However, she's not some 19 year old party girl, I could be the second guy she's been with (going by the way she acts), so I think it seems like a much bigger deal to her than it is.

Otherwise, I guess I could just go for it boyfriend-style and cut it off after two weeks for some dumb reason.

[rudebwoy]

Go with the flow, don't worry about what she wants. It's about what you want.
Has she texted you since?
invite her over or meet her in the park and take it from there. Do it for Friday night.
How are your logistics after Sunday?
Reading your post it seems like she was trying to validate herself to you, asking how you felt about her age and your mutual friends. Again play it cool, don't try to kiss her so quickly.
She might very well be a shy insecure little girl.

[Timbuk2]

Thanks for the feedback. Was moving house, so I didn't write to her for a bit. Now I have an almost equally cool studio downtown. It's an unexpectedly large room with a little spot where you can chill on the roof.

Aside: the black girl can't text for some reason. She is out of credit or whatever.

Yesterday the black girl's friend Daphne—who was with her when we first met, and who I never gave my number to—texts me "hey it's Daphne, you doing anything tonight?"

I write back a few hours later "Hey Daphne, i moved downtown this weekend to a new apartment I like, maybe we can meet later this week?"

She writes back "I work downtown, maybe we'll run into each other. Are you going to have a housewarming party at your new apt?"

I haven't written back yet (also, these girls wouldnt fit in well with my social circle of 25-35 year olds)... but today I wrote to the black girl and asked if she wanted to meet later this week (she can't respond by text, will have to call me).

Now, maybe Daphne is writing on the black girl's behalf.

So... after hanging out with the black girl, and realizing that she is super naive, doesn't drink, doesn't smoke... I am leaning toward Daphne, I think they're just playing a dumb little game with me (one can't text is shy, the other can text and isn't invested), and so I should play it cool with Daphne and continue to pursue the black girl.

(05-28-2014 10:44 PM)rudebwoy Wrote:  

Go with the flow, don't worry about what she wants. It's about what you want.
Has she texted you since?
invite her over or meet her in the park and take it from there. Do it for Friday night.
How are your logistics after Sunday?
Reading your post it seems like she was trying to validate herself to you, asking how you felt about her age and your mutual friends. Again play it cool, don't try to kiss her so quickly.
She might very well be a shy insecure little girl.

[rudebwoy]

Hmm sounds like something is going on and you could be right. Sounds like a classic shit test.

I wouldn't jump on Daphne just yet until I knew where I sat with the black gal. I would be tempted to invite both of them but I am sure Daphne might show up with that guy.

I couldn't care less about your social circle of people, I would rather have a social circle of 20 year old gals.If you play your cards right you can smash both perhaps.
I am no expert on 20 year old chicks (paging Gio) but generally they just wanna have fun and hang out. I wouldn't assume they want anything more than that, which is perfect for you.

[Timbuk2]

Hung out with the two of them the other day at my apt. Turns out I like Daphne way better (maybe that dude isn't her boyfriend. read on).

Daphne had invited me to go dancing with her friend from out of town last night, but I turned down the offer playfully (since they will have to sleep at Daphne's house, so it would be a wayste of time). Went to a movie and hung out with my regular girl.

Today, I invited Daphne to go out tomorrow (sort of hard to escalate with this particular venue, but I live on her way home).

She was totally into the idea. New plan: have sex with her, get her really into me, then contact the original girl--she's really timid--and try to get her to do something courageous. She only drinks or smokes around daphne. Maybe she only fucks guys she's fucked too!

(06-03-2014 11:25 AM)rudebwoy Wrote:  

Hmm sounds like something is going on and you could be right. Sounds like a classic shit test.

I wouldn't jump on Daphne just yet until I knew where I sat with the black gal. I would be tempted to invite both of them but I am sure Daphne might show up with that guy.

I couldn't care less about your social circle of people, I would rather have a social circle of 20 year old gals.If you play your cards right you can smash both perhaps.
I am no expert on 20 year old chicks (paging Gio) but generally they just wanna have fun and hang out. I wouldn't assume they want anything more than that, which is perfect for you.