[anonymous123]

I've read in a number of places where someone has given the advice that it can be good to take a step back, get yourself grounded, and then get back out there. Most notably, I read some excellent posts by Mixxx giving this advice. I've also seen in a number of places where someone has recommended starting a thread on this topic. A thread truly devoted to taking a break from "game" and retooling. I hope that someone with a high post count will go ahead and start this (I don't want my low post count to be interpreted by the community that this should be a topic for "newbies" as it is a serious topic and I'm far from junior at this sport).

For those that don't want to read below, here are the key take-aways: - I went on a pussy binge earlier this year. I don't care if you believe me or not, but almost every one of these chicks was smoking hot
- My sleep started getting out of whack and my booze tolerance went way too high
- Tried going "cold turkey", but I swear just by trying to shut my system down new bitches would come out of the woodwork...
- I desperately wanted to just chill as nothing more to prove, but couldn't do it, despite completely going no contact on every chica I knew (new ones popped up)
- Now on path to try "moderation" as the more I try to go "cold turkey" with both women and booze...the more likely that the same night I declared "cold turkey" that the heavens will send me a threeway with two 9s and up drinking until 4am!

++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
Below is an email that I wrote to my wingman (Lesbian wingman...this is an entirely different topic, but a good lesbian can be more solid than you can imagine).

I'm hoping that it might be helpful for some of us to 1) reflect on how "off the rails" things can get when running a "rotation", and 2) how it is helpful to take a step back to regroup (and there isn't someone like Mixxx to lead the charge on this...so, throwing this out to one of you veterans to take the torch).

Here is the email for those interested (mid February):
-----------------------------
XXXXX,
OK, so I’ve decided to make some changes. Micah said a few things that got me thinking. I had sort of a crazy Thursday night. I had a date with zWendy scheduled. Then, at the last minute zHeather pinged me and said she wanted to connect. So, I cancel on zWendy at the last minute. zWendy ends up getting pissed and tells me not to contact her again. Then, zHeather ends up flaking out (I think the crazy broad was simply mad at me and wanted to burn one of my evenings). Somehow I was able to get zWendy back on for the night. We went out, had a good date at [Restaurant], then to [Cocktail Lounge]. We make out a bit and she leaves. It was 10:30, so I pinged zMicah. zMicah ended up coming over, and we had a great time (she spent the night). Key take-away here: LOTS of logistics!

zMicah and I were joking about how she “reverse booty called” me, and I just booty called her. Then she said “well, I was on one of my normal dates and it ended at about 10:30, and I was going to go to the bar with some girlfriends, and then you texted me and I thought this would be more fun”.

And then it was like this:
************
Me: what do you mean by “normal dates”?
Her: You know, guys that are actually interested in me and want to get to know me with the idea that I could be their girlfriend. And, you go on a real date, like to a nice dinner.
Me: I take you to nice dinners
Her: No, you take me to nice dinners and then take me back to your place and fuck me. And believe it or not, that actually doesn’t work for most of this world!
Me: How many of these normal dates are you juggling?
Her: Like, maybe 10 to 12, but you are the only one I’m fucking
Me: Then, why are you here
Her: I love fucking you, and I know you are too fucked up to be in a relationship. And, I don’t really want to sleep with someone that is ready to be in a relationship. And the best part is that you think you are just fine. So, you are still fun, funny, and great to hang out with. It is kind of perfect for me right now.
Me: You are such a player
Her: And you aren’t? You and I are the same
************

Anyway, it really got me thinking. I wasn’t actually planning on doing this whole “player” stuff. I mean, I met up with my old powerlifting buddy in [west coast city] and talked with him. He has been divorced three years and is running mad “game”. I thought it was cool. He showed me some tricks on time management to help juggle all of these women. So, the “z” in front of each name is intentional, it is how they are tagged in my phone (and, right now my “z” tally is at 19, with a good 6 being active rotation and 4 of which are in the que). But, this is crazy!

After reflecting on my conversation with zMicah, I was just about ready to give it up. I ended up meeting with Shannon (my bookkeeper and trusted friend). I told her that I was thinking of dumping the whole pipeline of chicas. She agreed that I should (oh, and then later that day ended up in my office and practically begged for me to fuck her…so, I fucked her on my couch in [my office at fancy address]. Yikes!...but, that was truly the last harrah!). But, I digress.

Here is what I have decided:
-I’m dumping my entire pipeline. Completely. Every one of them has some sort of issue. Not the least of which, I’m not a “player” type and I don’t like how it makes me feel.
-This meant cancelling my date with Anastasia the Soviet last night…which was REALLY hard to do. But, as addictive as she is…she now has enough red flags that I shouldn’t get sucked in.
-Shannon recommended that I should see Micah every once in a while, as it was Micah that helped me recognize that juggling a pipeline of women isn’t going to help me and isn’t who I am. She also said that going “cold turkey” never works, so why not just bang Micah every now and again. (Besides, it works for Micah too).

Rules for me going forward:
-One. At. A. Time. This means I have plans with one girl and go on one date. If she throws off red flags or isn’t someone I’d see dating, then don’t repeat (right now the standard has been “A. is she hot, and B. can I fuck her”). Then, if she met both A and B, I’d keep here in my cell phone and work her through a “rotation”. This is over. Going forward, if she isn’t someone that would be worth dating then I simply won’t follow up. If she is worth dating I will go on date #2 and so on until it ends (and, most probably will).
-Play time. For play time, my thinking is that once in a while Micah will come over. Also, hopefully you and I will be up to some shenanigans here and there. And every once in a while I will take a trip to SA (no reason to cut this out as there may only be 3 or 4 total trips left on this one).

So, between whatever you and I do, having a random Micah stop over, and perhaps a quarterly trip to SA...I’m already plenty busy. So, for dating I will just have a date here and there…but, no more juggling all these chicas!

Hopefully you can follow all of this!
++++++++++++++++++++

[Distant Light]

Funny reading this e-mail because it was as if I wrote it 6 months ago...

We all have "moments" when we get good at this and just go WRECKLESS. I've found this is sort of a "rite of passage" as to whether you are addicted or not. I too had a hard time (had an STD scare due to going on a drunken raw dog rampage for 6 months) and was even telling girls WE SHOULD NOT because I'm not in a good situation right now to be doing all this AND THEY WOULD STILL HOOKUP.

Eventually I got a hold of it BUT then started drinking even more since I was actively trying not to have sex. In the span of all this, I lost 11 phones, the last one I lost was last saturday. I've put myself in complete rehab mode where I won't be getting back a phone nor drinking until I get over this "addiction". It got so bad that the day before I lost my phone I ran into a girl who I used to love AND I DIDNT EVEN RECOGNIZE HER.

Like you, I speak to one of my friends who I used to get crazy with, our social circle was built on madness. His "rehab" was leaving the city and traveling a bit. Thing is for me, the whole experience was worth it and I don't regret it. At the sametime, I know as soon as I give myself the "ok" I wil go even more intense. (That's what happened last time)

P.S...I've cut off all my girls many months ago which was actually BAD because it was more incentive to go on a crazy adventure. (Also would just briefly meet friends and then "disappear" on a random adventure)

[anonymous123]

Distant Light - it sounds like we have had similar benders. I'd bet there are others out there among us that have had similar situations.

What I have learned is that "cold turkey" doesn't work. Whenever I declare "cold turkey" that is exactly when the heavens will strike me down and put out a situation that most wouldn't believe! (so no reason to talk about it). But, when I go with the "whatever comes my way" approach, I drink much less...and it somehow still results in 2 or 3 girls a week...

I've completely dumped my "rotation", but I've also learned that "cold turkey" usually puts me in an epic "one last time" situation. I'm now on the "whatever comes my way" plan combined with the philosophy of "when one door shuts, another door opens." [This is mainly in reference to keeping a FWB around...if you have them, it often results in a missed opportunity while you are banging the FWB.]

[Thoroughbred]

That was valuable for me to read, thanks for posting.

There is a part of me that appraises situations like this and identifies them as "bad", undesirable, etc.
I look at that and am torn between it being a residual part of my game denialist self, still dying, but there. The otherside considers that men, like women, do rewire something by churning through lot's of sexual partners, no matter how fleeting. Not always for the better.

I know a couple of guys who are 350 plus, some are ok, some really aren't.

[Comte De St. Germain]

Think your post struck a chord with me jus replace the drinking with hookah. In my situation my two fbs(that I fucked often) dumped me on Valentine's day because I wouldn't actually go out with them(got the same player declaration about being too fucked up to be in a relationship after I refused them). It just caused me to go to hookah bars to pick up girls more often to the point I was actually up this entire night with massive chest pain(I tend to smoke for around 2 hours if I'm there with some moderate drinking from a bottle of wine that is more for girls I'm taking out or picking up there). I would definitely love it if someone with a high rep point count could chime in on how to get some R&R from going out to game.

[Distant Light]

(03-14-2014 03:00 AM)anonymous123 Wrote:  

Distant Light - it sounds like we have had similar benders. I'd bet there are others out there among us that have had similar situations.

What I have learned is that "cold turkey" doesn't work. Whenever I declare "cold turkey" that is exactly when the heavens will strike me down and put out a situation that most wouldn't believe! (so no reason to talk about it). But, when I go with the "whatever comes my way" approach, I drink much less...and it somehow still results in 2 or 3 girls a week...

I've completely dumped my "rotation", but I've also learned that "cold turkey" usually puts me in an epic "one last time" situation. I'm now on the "whatever comes my way" plan combined with the philosophy of "when one door shuts, another door opens." [This is mainly in reference to keeping a FWB around...if you have them, it often results in a missed opportunity while you are banging the FWB.]

Hahaahha I agreed, it's what essentially messed me up (and also ended up having anal sex for the first time which I said I'd never do.) The "one last time" vibe is exactly what I felt over and over.

I've begun to handle this by staying completely inside with the intention of doing it for a few weeks in order to handle other aspects of my life. However, 5 days in I can already feel the urge "dude john digiweed is playing, you've never heard him DJ just go!! You don't need to meet anyone, you've been looking forward to this."

However, I'm trying to be more disciplined

[WestIndianArchie]

How was the rest of your life impacted by the demands of your rotation? You mentioned sleep and booze, care to elaborate?

WIA

[anonymous123]

(03-14-2014 11:15 AM)WestIndianArchie Wrote:  

How was the rest of your life impacted by the demands of your rotation? You mentioned sleep and booze, care to elaborate?

WIA

The rest of my life was impacted really heavily, which is why I needed to put a stop to it.
- I'd be up until 3am...resulting in sleeping in
- Going out way too much (and I always "roll" when I go out and end up dropping too much coin)
- It definitely impacted my productivity (business partner noticed for sure)
- Diet went to shit
- Workouts suffered big time

But, I feel like I'm now moving into something more sustainable. One of my old lifting buddies is running an insane rotation and is constantly booked. I thought it was cool and started "pipelining" myself and was always constantly booked. This is when things got off the rails.

I think the big difference between me and him is that his "book of business" is really a stream of girls that he meets on the internet, and they come and go...but he literally breaks out a schedule each week. All fine and well. BUT, I think he rarely if ever just meets some chick in person. For me, I end up meeting women all of the time in person (even just last night, just wanted to get a bite to eat, next thing you know I'm banging a fitness model, but I digress). The key here is that when I started the "pipeline" approach and then you ADD in that I'm going to meet the best ones in real life randomly...the combination turns into a pussy bender. And, with each of these chicks we'd have a couple drinks. It got so crazy that I'd have a chick stay the night, wake up and fuck her again, then I'd meet a chick at 7pm...probably be done fucking by 10pm...and then I'm getting another chick over after that for the late shift (which is usually "meet me at this bar" and then back at my place at 2:30am)...

A few months of that and it was enough. I simply when no contact on all chicks currently in my phone (OK, a few I had to tell that I didn't care to see them anymore).

I tried "cold turkey", but that just led me to do crazier shit yet.

Now, I'm back to eating healthier. Getting to bed earlier. Actually doing good things at my business. Getting better workouts. But, I'm doing two things differently:
1) no pipelining chicks from the internet
2) when I meet a hot chick that I like randomly, I go ahead and do what I want with them and have fun as it comes. (meaning, I'm no longer trying to tell myself that I'm closed for business while I regroup...which is BS and leads me to do "one last time" behaviors)

I'm getting all the pussy I need with this new slowed down approach.

[Comte De St. Germain]

Mine are similar to Anons except with last night bout with massive chest pain. Less productive, started to wack off again if I haven't done it once every two weeks (after I quit a year ago), girls are always on mind, and I'm constantly thinking about game much more. Pretty much everything I outlined in a different thread I started, but much worse.

[Nomad77]

LOL, I think a lot of guys on here would like to have your problem

[Comte De St. Germain]

(03-14-2014 10:42 PM)Nomad77 Wrote:  

LOL, I think a lot of guys on here would like to have your problem

My game isn't on Anon's level so two consistent DBS were enough for me to crave sex like a mad man. Sex isn't still normalized enough for me. I still get novelty just alone from fucking regularly.

[DVY]

Bro you got a good problem. .

I went on a similar bender summer-time in LA. 11 girls in 14 days. This is w/working 6 days w/week. I felt like shit afterwards.

Heres what I recommend

- Implement a strict 3-drink rule or drink lower percentage alcohol. Sub the vodka for sake.
- Lights out by 1am AT THE LATEST
- Lots of dinner dates at 8pm. Smash by 10.30. Girl is leaving by 12.30pm. This is key for keeping your schedule together during the week
- Limit your heavy partying to 1-2x/week.
- Limit binge drug usage. I am abs. guilty of chain-smoking Js and blunts w/ people at the club/bar. 3 weekends ago, I think I smoked 15-20 joints at the club w/random people. I do try do minimize "heavy drugs". Stupid but lots of fun.
- Gym comes first....NO MATTER WHAT. No dates until you do the gym
- No sleeping in. Take a nap after work if you need it. Waking up late kills your circadian rhythm and productivity.

Everything in moderation and you should listen to that nagging instinct that you are doing TOO MUCH.

Read some of Gio's posts on time-management.

[anonymous123]

DVY - thanks for the tips. I've been thinking that the best solution is having solid guard rails on behavior instead of "cold turkey".

I am also at an age where the dinner date is more appealing than going out hardcore most of the time anyway. And by going to bed at the latest by 1am it will allow me to hit repeat without turning into a zombie.

The three drink rule is going to be tough, but is probably the most important. Violate this rule and wheels come off of all the other rules...and back to being on a bender! Three drinks also means you have allowed for enough to have one drink before dinner and order a bottle of wine...so nothing awkward there.

[anonymous123]

delete