[General Mayhem]

I'm looking for a bit of wisdom from some experienced cats.

I've got a really whimsical nature. I can be on point for months at a time, but eventually I crash hard and self-destruct. I bounce back like a champ, but it never lasts. It's like Hank Moody from Californication.

I know that being whimsical and self-destructive are glorified "bad-boy" traits, but it is hard to deal with personally.

I do great when I am away from college over breaks, but when I get back I just implode.

My question is, are any of you guys like this? How have you been able to make it work for yourself?

[kinjutsu]

It's all about self-control. Do whatever you'd normally do but stop when you think you have hit a peak.

[soup]

If you recognize what's going on, that's the first step.

Then, you can step back from it and realize that it's not you.. you can witness what's happening instead of being consumed by it.

If you really want to be precise, you can keep a log or spreadsheet and graph what's going on. Then you might be able to recognize patterns. Maybe you are more productive at a certain time of the year than another etc.

Then, you can investigate what it is about those times that might be making you produce results at varying qualities.

Once you've zeroed in on what's happening, you can start to try to figure out ways to counter, prepare, or prevent.

I believe creativity does come in cycles, but I also have faith that people can get better at things if they commit to working on them.

Doing something like what I mentioned could help you tighten things up, and maybe that would be enough to get you more consistent results.

[freewheeler]

Meditate.

Look into the mood cure by julia moss.

Dial in:

nutrition
exercise
sleep
stress mgmt
socialization

[General Mayhem]

Thanks for the wisdom guys.

-Soup- I actually recently started logging this kind of info in the book where I keep my daily to-do list. I definitely agree with the importance of recognizing patterns.

-Freewheeler- I will look into it.

The thing is my nutrition, exercise, sleep, and socialization are all on point. My T levels are way up. I exercise 6 days a week, sleep 8+ hours a night, and my game has never been so tight. When I say self-destruct I don't totally let myself go.

I'm starting to think that it is just the result of doing something that completely goes against my nature. Like I said, I came off christmas break with a lot of momentum. I was all over, Chicago, New York, Cancun. I came back and rode the wave for a month but now I just want out again. I don't necessarily want to change my nature, I just want to build a life that works with it.

[The Beast1]

What things lead up and eventually trigger the whimsical phases?

For the record, college is a horrible time for self betterment and the like. It's basically a giant party and non-conducive to managing proper life skills.

I got better at being myself with less whimsical phases once I left college and that lifestyle behind.

[General Mayhem]

What triggers it? A lot of times it happens when I pursue things that I am good at but don't really like. I am talented at a bunch of things, and I have the ability to pursue them until my heart is not longer in it I fly off the chain. I start loathing like crazy.

I've been that way for as long as I can remember. Even when I was younger and I played ball we had a group of the 3 best players, but I was like the black sheep. The other 2 were stuck along with the coaches trying to control me so I didn't get kicked off the team, especially towards the end of the seasons when I would decide that I needed something new.

Same thing in college. I usually get one teacher every semester that pulls me aside and tries to figure me out. I have heard things like, "You are one of the most peculiar students I have ever seen" and "Your mind works in a way that most don't" and this is at one of the largest Universities in America. I think they just aren't used to having students buck the trend so hard. I have never been able to just lie down and take the bullshit you are supposed to take in college. One professor actually suggested that I should just drop out of school to travel and write. I almost don't want to though. I've taken tests that say I am a creative genius, but I hate the discussion of writing as a trade. Writing is a coping mechanism. The people who fantasize about a quiet little nook where they can sit with a drink and a cigar while they pound out the next great American novel are all full of shit.

I totally agree that college is a horrible time for self betterment. However, I have grown a lot thanks to the Red Pill. I do look forward the post-college years though.

I am interested in knowing if anybody else is like this and how they make a living despite not being able to stay in any one place for too long.

[The Beast1]

(02-21-2014 10:56 AM)General Mayhem Wrote:  

What triggers it? A lot of times it happens when I pursue things that I am good at but don't really like. I am talented at a bunch of things, and I have the ability to pursue them until my heart is not longer in it I fly off the chain. I start loathing like crazy.

I've been that way for as long as I can remember. Even when I was younger and I played ball we had a group of the 3 best players, but I was like the black sheep. The other 2 were stuck along with the coaches trying to control me so I didn't get kicked off the team, especially towards the end of the seasons when I would decide that I needed something new.

Same thing in college. I usually get one teacher every semester that pulls me aside and tries to figure me out. I have heard things like, "You are one of the most peculiar students I have ever seen" and "Your mind works in a way that most don't" and this is at one of the largest Universities in America. I think they just aren't used to having students buck the trend so hard. I have never been able to just lie down and take the bullshit you are supposed to take in college. One professor actually suggested that I should just drop out of school to travel and write. I almost don't want to though. I've taken tests that say I am a creative genius, but I hate the discussion of writing as a trade. Writing is a coping mechanism. The people who fantasize about a quiet little nook where they can sit with a drink and a cigar while they pound out the next great American novel are all full of shit.

I totally agree that college is a horrible time for self betterment. However, I have grown a lot thanks to the Red Pill. I do look forward the post-college years though.

I am interested in knowing if anybody else is like this and how they make a living despite not being able to stay in any one place for too long.

That's me brother. I had a ton of problems finishing projects to completion.
You are probably a social extravert, have a billion and one ideas popping up all of the time, and can have meandering conversations with no end in sight. Sound familiar?

What helped me over come this was realizing that my actions affect not only me, but other people. When I don't complete projects or in the case of college do poorly, I would have the wrath of family coming down on me (they helped pay for the degree). Since I wasn't footing the bill myself, I had people to answer to if I did poorly.

That fear helped keep me in line and understand the importance of finishing out BS busy work. Trust me, all of college is pointless busy work. However the one thing I did get out of it was the importance of showing up on time, filing and doing some pointless piece of paper, and handing things in on time. Basically time and life management.

Basically, as you get older that restless energy will give way to life wisdom. Yeah it sounds bull sh!ty but it's true. The person I was at the beginning of this year was not the person I was in college especially during my freshmen years.

Are you afraid of settling on a major that could potentially lock you into a career that you won't like?

[freewheeler]

After reading your last reply you might resonate with:

Mastery by George Leonard

-look into the notion of process vs. outcome oriented
-different archetypes of learners
-haven't finished the book but some of what you wrote reminded me of it

Internal frustration usually arises when you are living out of alignment with your masculine core, values, nature, universe, your authentic self.

Do you feel like your parents have some career/life ideas for you that you don't agree with?

Do you know your purpose or have a sense for what it is?

If the above resonates with you, you may appreciate:

The Way of the Superior Man
by David Deida

If this is a recurring pattern in your life, I'd encourage you to really delve into it and engage in a hefty amount of introspection--you're on the brink of an epiphany.

It sounds like you need to channel your focus and energy while keeping longevity in mind.

I sense a bit of a conflict in practicing delayed gratification vs. wanting instant gratification in the now.

You may benefit from reading up on some stoicism or eastern philosophy like buddhism to help you with making the mental paradigm shifts that I sense would help balance you out and maintain a level buzz of awesomeness rather than having these exaggerated ups and downs.

Ups and downs are part of life, however. So it may be a matter of managing your expectations as well and not getting too caught up in the way you think things should be, your perceptions of things and your self-image.

If you're looking to grasp a better understanding of the psychology of optimal experience and that creative flow state where you feel "on" you can look into:

Flow by Mihaly C.

[General Mayhem]

(02-21-2014 12:33 PM)frenchie Wrote:  

(02-21-2014 10:56 AM)General Mayhem Wrote:  

What triggers it? A lot of times it happens when I pursue things that I am good at but don't really like. I am talented at a bunch of things, and I have the ability to pursue them until my heart is not longer in it I fly off the chain. I start loathing like crazy.

I've been that way for as long as I can remember. Even when I was younger and I played ball we had a group of the 3 best players, but I was like the black sheep. The other 2 were stuck along with the coaches trying to control me so I didn't get kicked off the team, especially towards the end of the seasons when I would decide that I needed something new.

Same thing in college. I usually get one teacher every semester that pulls me aside and tries to figure me out. I have heard things like, "You are one of the most peculiar students I have ever seen" and "Your mind works in a way that most don't" and this is at one of the largest Universities in America. I think they just aren't used to having students buck the trend so hard. I have never been able to just lie down and take the bullshit you are supposed to take in college. One professor actually suggested that I should just drop out of school to travel and write. I almost don't want to though. I've taken tests that say I am a creative genius, but I hate the discussion of writing as a trade. Writing is a coping mechanism. The people who fantasize about a quiet little nook where they can sit with a drink and a cigar while they pound out the next great American novel are all full of shit.

I totally agree that college is a horrible time for self betterment. However, I have grown a lot thanks to the Red Pill. I do look forward the post-college years though.

I am interested in knowing if anybody else is like this and how they make a living despite not being able to stay in any one place for too long.

That's me brother. I had a ton of problems finishing projects to completion.
You are probably a social extravert, have a billion and one ideas popping up all of the time, and can have meandering conversations with no end in sight. Sound familiar?

What helped me over come this was realizing that my actions affect not only me, but other people. When I don't complete projects or in the case of college do poorly, I would have the wrath of family coming down on me (they helped pay for the degree). Since I wasn't footing the bill myself, I had people to answer to if I did poorly.

That fear helped keep me in line and understand the importance of finishing out BS busy work. Trust me, all of college is pointless busy work. However the one thing I did get out of it was the importance of showing up on time, filing and doing some pointless piece of paper, and handing things in on time. Basically time and life management.

Basically, as you get older that restless energy will give way to life wisdom. Yeah it sounds bull sh!ty but it's true. The person I was at the beginning of this year was not the person I was in college especially during my freshmen years.

Are you afraid of settling on a major that could potentially lock you into a career that you won't like?

Yeah that's basically me. I totally understand that college is mostly BS, that's what makes it hard for me to stomach. I am going to try to apply some of the stuff from this thread http://www.rooshvforum.network/thread-16330-...#pid278915 and hopefully that will help.

As far as careers and majors go, I am going to try to avoid a career. I just can't picture it for myself. I hate the idea of working for somebody else everyday. How have you fared with a career?

[General Mayhem]

(02-21-2014 07:36 PM)freewheeler Wrote:  

After reading your last reply you might resonate with:

Mastery by George Leonard

-look into the notion of process vs. outcome oriented
-different archetypes of learners
-haven't finished the book but some of what you wrote reminded me of it

Internal frustration usually arises when you are living out of alignment with your masculine core, values, nature, universe, your authentic self.

Do you feel like your parents have some career/life ideas for you that you don't agree with?

Do you know your purpose or have a sense for what it is?

If the above resonates with you, you may appreciate:

The Way of the Superior Man
by David Deida

If this is a recurring pattern in your life, I'd encourage you to really delve into it and engage in a hefty amount of introspection--you're on the brink of an epiphany.

It sounds like you need to channel your focus and energy while keeping longevity in mind.

I sense a bit of a conflict in practicing delayed gratification vs. wanting instant gratification in the now.

You may benefit from reading up on some stoicism or eastern philosophy like buddhism to help you with making the mental paradigm shifts that I sense would help balance you out and maintain a level buzz of awesomeness rather than having these exaggerated ups and downs.

Ups and downs are part of life, however. So it may be a matter of managing your expectations as well and not getting too caught up in the way you think things should be, your perceptions of things and your self-image.

If you're looking to grasp a better understanding of the psychology of optimal experience and that creative flow state where you feel "on" you can look into:

Flow by Mihaly C.

Definitely agree with the part I bolded. I think that might be the problem. What I really desire is freedom. When I can do as I please I don't fluctuate nearly as much. I have read the way of the superior man, but maybe I should go through it again.

[The Beast1]

(02-21-2014 09:31 PM)General Mayhem Wrote:  

(02-21-2014 12:33 PM)frenchie Wrote:  

(02-21-2014 10:56 AM)General Mayhem Wrote:  

What triggers it? A lot of times it happens when I pursue things that I am good at but don't really like. I am talented at a bunch of things, and I have the ability to pursue them until my heart is not longer in it I fly off the chain. I start loathing like crazy.

I've been that way for as long as I can remember. Even when I was younger and I played ball we had a group of the 3 best players, but I was like the black sheep. The other 2 were stuck along with the coaches trying to control me so I didn't get kicked off the team, especially towards the end of the seasons when I would decide that I needed something new.

Same thing in college. I usually get one teacher every semester that pulls me aside and tries to figure me out. I have heard things like, "You are one of the most peculiar students I have ever seen" and "Your mind works in a way that most don't" and this is at one of the largest Universities in America. I think they just aren't used to having students buck the trend so hard. I have never been able to just lie down and take the bullshit you are supposed to take in college. One professor actually suggested that I should just drop out of school to travel and write. I almost don't want to though. I've taken tests that say I am a creative genius, but I hate the discussion of writing as a trade. Writing is a coping mechanism. The people who fantasize about a quiet little nook where they can sit with a drink and a cigar while they pound out the next great American novel are all full of shit.

I totally agree that college is a horrible time for self betterment. However, I have grown a lot thanks to the Red Pill. I do look forward the post-college years though.

I am interested in knowing if anybody else is like this and how they make a living despite not being able to stay in any one place for too long.

That's me brother. I had a ton of problems finishing projects to completion.
You are probably a social extravert, have a billion and one ideas popping up all of the time, and can have meandering conversations with no end in sight. Sound familiar?

What helped me over come this was realizing that my actions affect not only me, but other people. When I don't complete projects or in the case of college do poorly, I would have the wrath of family coming down on me (they helped pay for the degree). Since I wasn't footing the bill myself, I had people to answer to if I did poorly.

That fear helped keep me in line and understand the importance of finishing out BS busy work. Trust me, all of college is pointless busy work. However the one thing I did get out of it was the importance of showing up on time, filing and doing some pointless piece of paper, and handing things in on time. Basically time and life management.

Basically, as you get older that restless energy will give way to life wisdom. Yeah it sounds bull sh!ty but it's true. The person I was at the beginning of this year was not the person I was in college especially during my freshmen years.

Are you afraid of settling on a major that could potentially lock you into a career that you won't like?

Yeah that's basically me. I totally understand that college is mostly BS, that's what makes it hard for me to stomach. I am going to try to apply some of the stuff from this thread http://www.rooshvforum.network/thread-16330-...#pid278915 and hopefully that will help.

As far as careers and majors go, I am going to try to avoid a career. I just can't picture it for myself. I hate the idea of working for somebody else everyday. How have you fared with a career?

Those are good tips.

As for a career, meh it changed. I majored in English Lit. I work in IT now which is great since it pays a lot more than anything i'd get starting with an english degree.

Right now, I'm just saving up cash to escape the 9-5 job grind. It'll take some time but granted my office job affords me a lot of benefits like a gym, work from home on fridays, and things that make me comfortable. I work with a lot of women too

Biggest lesson I learned is to slow down, sometimes it's not necessary to move a million miles a minute. Have to look at things in a 5 to 10 year plan.

It is easier said than done. You're young but the collective wisdom of this forum can help you avoid some of the often repeated mistakes a lot of us make. Trust me, you won't have much of this stuff working at all.

The best thing I can say to you now is this: make some mistakes. Not big ones and don't screw up to the point where the damage is final. Just make some errors and learn where you messed up. Consult the forum (and other real life role models) for anything major and focus on holding steady for each semester. It's easy to loose focus so try and set up a system where you break your work load down into smaller bits each week.

I had a system worked out where long papers would be broken up in 2 week long segments where I would write a page or two each day for a whole week. Little things like this keep you sane as it keeps your stress meter (and subsequently your whimsical nature) under control. Think like a levy holding water at bay.

[Beyond Borders]

(02-21-2014 08:23 AM)General Mayhem Wrote:  

I don't necessarily want to change my nature, I just want to build a life that works with it.

In that case, you might want to peep out this book. http://www.amazon.com/Daily-Rituals-How-...0307273601

It's about the daily routines of various writers, artists, and other creative types throughout history.

Don't know if you're an artist, but it might give you some ideas about how to build your life around your natural patterns (or non-patterns).

It's a really interesting read too.

[Fortitudinal]

(02-21-2014 10:56 AM)General Mayhem Wrote:  

What triggers it? A lot of times it happens when I pursue things that I am good at but don't really like. I am talented at a bunch of things, and I have the ability to pursue them until my heart is not longer in it I fly off the chain. I start loathing like crazy.

Same thing in college. I usually get one teacher every semester that pulls me aside and tries to figure me out. I have heard things like, "You are one of the most peculiar students I have ever seen" and "Your mind works in a way that most don't" and this is at one of the largest Universities in America. I think they just aren't used to having students buck the trend so hard. I have never been able to just lie down and take the bullshit you are supposed to take in college. One professor actually suggested that I should just drop out of school to travel and write. I almost don't want to though. I've taken tests that say I am a creative genius, but I hate the discussion of writing as a trade. Writing is a coping mechanism. The people who fantasize about a quiet little nook where they can sit with a drink and a cigar while they pound out the next great American novel are all full of shit.

I totally agree that college is a horrible time for self betterment. However, I have grown a lot thanks to the Red Pill. I do look forward the post-college years though.

I am interested in knowing if anybody else is like this and how they make a living despite not being able to stay in any one place for too long.

I can really relate to this.

I am one crafty mo-fo, always learning things and I seem to catch on quickly if I am interested. cooking, trades, science, business etc... I have taken in a lot of things. If it needs creativity I'll take a stab at it and often be good at it.
Hell, I even took opera lessons for shits and giggles, and turned out I have a great vocal range, and Im not tone deaf. Buddy teaching said I even had potential. Weird.

Point is, I've been there. Staying interested in a field of work is hard if there is no challenge or something to be learned. Or if you learn it and later cant find ways to learn new things from it.

Some people find comfort in finding an easy, no waves niche. It drives me crazy since I'm always trying to find creative ways/solutions or hacks to everything I do. Commitment seems such a strange concept since you know nothing is permanent. Maybe I do have issues with commitment. Or ADD.

the past:
For years I wasted potential working in restaurants, though it was profitable (and you got feedback immediately in cash). Giving that up was hard, but I burned out. And never stayed more than 2 years in any given place, I must add.
It seemed that I outgrew what the places could offer me, and what I could learn from the place. Some people have told me 'you are gonna make us rich!'. . . And I did, but didnt get richer in the process. Another reason why I shy away from conventional work for other people these days.

Present:
Someone once said that 'finding an employee that is a good creative problem solver is worth its weight in gold'. I think its true. So there is a job out there for you, but you'll have to find your niche.
The most challenging part I think is finding a job that will be profitable, challenging and interesting. A hard combination.

Now and the future:
How am I making a living is a lot of hustle, for years I had all kinds of jobs. Look for something with flex hours. Sales is one way, though its frustrating as all fuck. Some creative field might be good for you, or a combination of both (sales and creative).

Now I have my own business, coordinating a lot of people, trying to get something going. Its very frustrating, but rewarding. Try opening your own business, its one way to stay focused for sure. Knowing that there might be a great reward for you at the end is priceless, really.
I do get to use my creative side for problem solving and there is no end to what there is to learn.

Ha, that got real personal real quick.

[General Mayhem]

(02-21-2014 11:10 PM)frenchie Wrote:  

Right now, I'm just saving up cash to escape the 9-5 job grind.

I think this is what it really comes down to for me too. I have never pictured myself in a 9-5. I would go crazy. My goal is to be able to make an independent income as soon as I can, even if it is 5 or more years down the road.

(02-22-2014 05:07 AM)Beyond Borders Wrote:  

(02-21-2014 08:23 AM)General Mayhem Wrote:  

I don't necessarily want to change my nature, I just want to build a life that works with it.

In that case, you might want to peep out this book. http://www.amazon.com/Daily-Rituals-How-...0307273601

It's about the daily routines of various writers, artists, and other creative types throughout history.

Don't know if you're an artist, but it might give you some ideas about how to build your life around your natural patterns (or non-patterns).

It's a really interesting read too.

This definitely looks interesting. I do want to write a few books someday, but I feel like I need more life experience to really get a good story. There was one whole semester I basically blew off school to play guitar and write songs. I did a few gigs and even paid my rent once with the money I made off that. Eventually I want to go back to that life.

(02-22-2014 06:51 AM)Fortitudinal Wrote:  

I am one crafty mo-fo, always learning things and I seem to catch on quickly if I am interested. cooking, trades, science, business etc... I have taken in a lot of things. If it needs creativity I'll take a stab at it and often be good at it.

Some people find comfort in finding an easy, no waves niche. It drives me crazy since I'm always trying to find creative ways/solutions or hacks to everything I do. Commitment seems such a strange concept since you know nothing is permanent. Maybe I do have issues with commitment. Or ADD.

the past:
It seemed that I outgrew what the places could offer me, and what I could learn from the place. Some people have told me 'you are gonna make us rich!'. . . And I did, but didnt get richer in the process. Another reason why I shy away from conventional work for other people these days.

The bold parts really hit with me. I have a genius IQ, but it is highly selective. Sometimes I don't even have girls put their numbers in my phone, I just have them tell me and I let them know that I will remember it and text them later. Other stuff I couldn't remember if I tried.

I suck at commitment completely, and I think it is because I outgrow things so quickly. As long as something is providing value I can stay with it, but as soon as that stops it's over.

I've gotten really good at cutting things out of my life that don't contribute value to it. In a blue pill world I think that makes me look bad, and people are always telling me to just try harder to make it work, like they think I have a weak mind because I like to write things off. To me that's redundant, it's just as stupid as trying to make it work with a girl who isn't contributing value to your life. Doing things that have no benefits drive me crazy, that's when the loathing kicks in.

[nek]

Geez you could be my clone. Do you dwell at all on negative thoughts? I do this in addition to what you've described. I'm starting to think it's just a way of keeping myself entertained.

[General Mayhem]

(02-23-2014 07:09 PM)nek Wrote:  

Geez you could be my clone. Do you dwell at all on negative thoughts? I do this in addition to what you've described. I'm starting to think it's just a way of keeping myself entertained.

Not too often. I entertain myself with other things.

[Valhalla]

Posting to read later

[The Beast1]

9-5s aren't all that bad. The trick is finding one that plays to your many short term projects and people face time. I work in IT support which is perfect right now for my skills. I get a lot of leeway and my boss trusts me which means i'm on my own with little guidance.

Not to mention the perks, just experiment and find your niche in what jobs interest you while you're in school right now.

I went the traditional way because i'm not one to take non-traditional routes. They never work out for me.

[General Mayhem]

(02-24-2014 08:13 AM)frenchie Wrote:  

9-5s aren't all that bad. The trick is finding one that plays to your many short term projects and people face time. I work in IT support which is perfect right now for my skills. I get a lot of leeway and my boss trusts me which means i'm on my own with little guidance.

Not to mention the perks, just experiment and find your niche in what jobs interest you while you're in school right now.

I went the traditional way because i'm not one to take non-traditional routes. They never work out for me.

This is interesting. I think a common theme on this forum is that you can make a 9-5 work for you, like in the thread I already mentioned on slacking at work. That is an option I never really knew about until I started reading here. I really appreciate the advice man.

I'm coming off the weekend today and I'm feeling good. We will see how class and other BS effects my mood this week.

[The Beast1]

(02-24-2014 11:57 AM)General Mayhem Wrote:  

(02-24-2014 08:13 AM)frenchie Wrote:  

9-5s aren't all that bad. The trick is finding one that plays to your many short term projects and people face time. I work in IT support which is perfect right now for my skills. I get a lot of leeway and my boss trusts me which means i'm on my own with little guidance.

Not to mention the perks, just experiment and find your niche in what jobs interest you while you're in school right now.

I went the traditional way because i'm not one to take non-traditional routes. They never work out for me.

This is interesting. I think a common theme on this forum is that you can make a 9-5 work for you, like in the thread I already mentioned on slacking at work. That is an option I never really knew about until I started reading here. I really appreciate the advice man.

I'm coming off the weekend today and I'm feeling good. We will see how class and other BS effects my mood this week.

Just get a job where the boss trusts you and you're able to have a lot of flexibility. Nothing pisses me off more than a micromanaging prick who doesn't trust me, especially when my work performance is golden.

And remember, most 9-5s are just adult day care. Realistically I probably only work three to five hours out of a full 8 hour day because I am such a manic worker.

Once all of that work is done I can do whatever I want like go to the gym or even better go outside and do some day gaming.

[General Mayhem]

I really appreciate the advice, definitely opened me up to this new idea, and I agree completely with the importance of having a good boss.

I killed it this week. Total rebound.

[jamaicabound]

I guess we could clarify whimsicle, whimsical in my mind is kind of being a dreamer but you seem to kind of mix whimsicle with undisciplined.

Being whimsilcal or a dream in my mind is both a strenght or weakness. I'm somewhat the same way, I'm a great idea guy but when it comes to putting things to action that's kind of a weakness of mine. I've gotten much better and kind of taken on the motto just do something.

Maybe I'm not as well funded for something as I should be, maybe I don't have all the knowledge I need but if your always waiting for the perfect situation to start you never will, sometimes you just have to buckle down and get started doing something.

I think its somehwat of our personality that were whimsical or dreams but that said it doesn't mean we can't work on discipine and getting started on things. That's something I'm currently working on now.

Now I'm not saying we should just accept the way we are, there's always room for improvement but I'll always be whimsical and a dreamer to come extent. SOmething I've found alot of success with is partnering up with a friend of mine on a business venture. He's more an action guy and a numbers guy where I'm more a creative and a idea guy. His strenghts are my weaknesses and vice versa. Now we collaborate and he teaches me the accounting side of things and pushes me into action, I keep him on track wit big idea things, it's a great partnership. Now partnerships can often be a headache and a nightmare but in my situation its working out fairly well.

[General Mayhem]

I agree with you, Jamaica, I think being whimsical is both a blessing and a curse.

I used to be more of a dreamer than I am now, and life turned me into a realist. I've also gotten a lot better with the discipline as I've gotten older. So I guess I could say I reined in the ends.

I've also gotten to the point where I focus on action a lot more than research and knowledge, because I've read so much shit on productivity that anything I try to read now just seems repetitive for the most part.

When you are a dreamer and an action guy you can pull off shit that amazes people. You can almost become larger than life.

Like this Wednesday I had to teach a class to a bunch of underclassmen, and I brought in a practical exercise that most people would never think of. They were in awe, and I'm not just saying that. Whenever you can command the attention of a bunch of 18-20 year olds when they would rather be anywhere else you know you are doing something right.

What I've been trying to say in this thread, is that I have that ability. I can go up in front of a class and people think I have it all together. Little to they know I completely crash out and curse the world in a drunken stupor from time to time.

I'm not the guy who just doesn't have his shit together. I actually have it together really well. I just relapse every once in a while, crash out for a day or two then get back on my feet. I rebound really well, and I am usually the best right after I crash out. I enjoy crashing out and getting fucked up, but after a few days I start to hate myself and get back to hustling. It's kind of like giving myself a wakeup call.

For example, I started this thread last Thursday when I was crashed out, then I rebounded on Saturday and absolutely killed it all week long. I'm just riding the wave right now until I crash out again.

I ultimately stick with things, but I go through bouts of loathing and self-destruction. I still think I am far better off than most of my peers. I just operate on the ends of the spectrum, whereas most people are in the middle. I'm either the fucking man or a total piece of shit, there is no middle ground.

I like what you said about business partners. You are spot on. There are two kinds of people, big picture guys, and details guys. I am better than anyone I know at seeing the big picture. I just don't care about the details as much.