[Seth_Rose]

So this past Wednesday I had a girl over for dinner as a first date. I had met her a week and a half prior and texted a bit back and forth. She comes over and seems a bit nervous at first. She is asking me a lot of personal questions and wanted to get to know me which is good. The food turned out fairly well haha. We sat on my couch and ate dinner (this is in a frat house mind you). On the couch I put my arm around her and pull her in, rub her leg etc. just basic touching. We put our dishes away and I grab the ingredients to take to my room and she comes with, perfect .

We get to my room and she sits in my desk chair, as opposed to my bed which is not a good sign of getting laid. So I sit on my bed and we talk for 5-10 minutes. I then grab her legs and put them on my lap. A minute later I scoop her up and put her on my lap. I could tell she was a bit shy so I said, "I just want to kiss you for a few minutes." She was cool with that. Right after dinner she said she had to leave in about 20 minutes as she had to get up early, so we could only make out for a bit. The make out was kissing intermittently with more talking. I tried to get her boots off too, but she wasn't having it as I suppose shoes off=clothes off. So I walk her to the door and kiss her goodbye and she walks home which is conveniently the apartment complex next door.

I hit her up yesterday to see if she wanted to chill that night and she said she was studying all day which I believe, but even when I texted her again last night she said she was still studying. Again, I believe her as she has her shit together and works hard in school, but I was hoping she would want a study break (if you know what I'm saying).

Now, the issue is that this girl seems a bit more conservative then I initially guessed because when I met her at the bar she was drunk and we made out a bit, but from the minute she stepped in my house Wednesday I had a change of mind. I'm not sure where to go from here. It seems like if I invite her to "chill" she will assume that means sex which is too forward. If I ask to go out and get to know her more I'm just going backwards in the interaction. My plan is to hit her up this week and ask her to come over and shoot pool or something that seems harmless and then escalate from there. It gets her in my house, but in an innocent way.

Edit: O yea and she just friended me on Facebook... so there is definite interest, I just don't want to "scare the cat"

Any thoughts are appreciated.

[HonantheBarbarian]

If you have to ask..

[Handsome Creepy Eel]

Your plan is good and includes enough waiting to not appear needy. You have nothing to lose. Be sure to play it cool and things might still come through. Remember to never apologize for trying to get her naked (just saying). I'm not sure if I can confidently say what your chances are, but it's worth a try.

[Ensam]

Learn how to escalate without removing clothing. Chicks sometimes have weird rules like, I'm going to keep my boots on so my pants don't come off. If you make a move towards her boots before she's into it her 'logical' mind is going to take over and shut you down. Instead grab her ass, kiss her neck, do all the things that won't make her feel like you're pushing her but will get her turned on. The dirty little not-so-secret is that once a chick is turned on she'll want to bang as badly as you do. All the rules she set for herself earlier in the evening - "I have to get up early, I'm not going to take my boots off, I'm not going to have sex tonight, etc. - all go out the window once she's ready to go.

[Seth_Rose]

(11-17-2013 02:08 PM)Handsome Creepy Eel Wrote:  

Your plan is good and includes enough waiting to not appear needy. You have nothing to lose. Be sure to play it cool and things might still come through. Remember to never apologize for trying to get her naked (just saying). I'm not sure if I can confidently say what your chances are, but it's worth a try.

(11-17-2013 02:46 PM)Ensam Wrote:  

Learn how to escalate without removing clothing. Chicks sometimes have weird rules like, I'm going to keep my boots on so my pants don't come off. If you make a move towards her boots before she's into it her 'logical' mind is going to take over and shut you down. Instead grab her ass, kiss her neck, do all the things that won't make her feel like you're pushing her but will get her turned on. The dirty little not-so-secret is that once a chick is turned on she'll want to bang as badly as you do. All the rules she set for herself earlier in the evening - "I have to get up early, I'm not going to take my boots off, I'm not going to have sex tonight, etc. - all go out the window once she's ready to go.

Great feedback, thanks guys. These things seem very easy to implement. I'll keep updating my progress.

[CaliforniaSupreme]

Throw more alcohol into the mix or tease her for a while, build up tension.

[babelfish669]

(11-17-2013 12:58 PM)Seth_Rose Wrote:  

Right after dinner she said she had to leave in about 20 minutes as she had to get up early

...

So I walk her to the door and kiss her goodbye and she walks home which is conveniently the apartment complex next door.

Just keep repeating what you did until she decides she doesn't need to wake up early the next morning. Minimal effort on your part, and no additional thinking required.

[This Is Trouble]

The problem is if you invite her over again, her shields are going to be up. Especially since you pushed for the bang last time (which you should've done, by no means am I saying you shouldn't have).

Not sure how old you are since you live in a frat house, but I might try to get her out to a bar close to your places, get a couple drinks in her, and then seed going back to your place. Have something to show her - whether it be a photo, video, etc.

Do NOT do dinner or anything crazy expensive. I'm talking a cheapass dive bar or something of the sort.

[Virtus]

one thing i learned was not to have an alternative "sitting" place in my room other than my bed. this way there is no other place to sit. also no shoes policy. make her sit. make her comfortable, don't jump right away

http://www.rooshvforum.network/thread-8681.html

[Blaster]

(11-17-2013 02:46 PM)Ensam Wrote:  

Learn how to escalate without removing clothing. Chicks sometimes have weird rules like, I'm going to keep my boots on so my pants don't come off. If you make a move towards her boots before she's into it her 'logical' mind is going to take over and shut you down. Instead grab her ass, kiss her neck, do all the things that won't make her feel like you're pushing her but will get her turned on.

Exactly. You need to bring her into the moment: the exciting, passionate, lust-filled moment.

Probably the easiest, best "bang-for-buck" fully-clothed escalation category is physical dominance. To escalate from kissing and minor groping, manhandle her a bit. Spin her around, hold her up against you with one hand while the other one explores. Push her up against a wall. As you're running your fingers through her hair, grab it tightly and move her head where you want it for more kissing. Make her your plaything, even if it's only for brief moments at a time to test the waters.

If you sense her getting more excited by this, make your groping more forceful and make sure her clothes get mussed up. Pull up her shirt and expose her belly. Pull down her neckline to expose cleavage. If bra shoulder straps are exposed you can play with them (slide your fingers underneath, pull the straps up so her breast rises up, etc.).

[Blaster]

One more thing:

(11-17-2013 12:58 PM)Seth_Rose Wrote:  

I hit her up yesterday to see if she wanted to chill that night and she said she was studying all day which I believe, but even when I texted her again last night she said she was still studying. Again, I believe her as she has her shit together and works hard in school, but I was hoping she would want a study break (if you know what I'm saying).

...

Any thoughts are appreciated.

I'd advise you take a little time to pursue other options. This girl has turned you down a couple of times and even if she's being truthful, it sounds like she's not nearly invested enough to deserve much of your time and attention. If she comes around that's great, but in the meantime meeting other girls can't hurt (and will probably help).

[bojangles]

Boots are easy, no one can wear any footwear in my house, you leave that shit at the door.

Don't chase her now, she'll come back don't worry, don't like her fb posts/pics and don't even message her on there. Don't post shit statuses. Fb can be a bitch if you don't know how to manage it.

Stop fucking texting her so much!

[babelfish669]

(11-17-2013 05:35 PM)TroubleMaker Wrote:  

The problem is if you invite her over again, her shields are going to be up. Especially since you pushed for the bang last time (which you should've done, by no means am I saying you shouldn't have).

Some girls just have a mental count in their head of how many times they have to see a guy before they sleep with him. He pushed for the bang, either she'll come over again or she won't.

[Seth_Rose]

Yea I mean I think most of the guys would agree here that pushing for the bang is always the way to go. I just don't know how not to if that makes sense. I mean cute girl in my house, then my bed it's like a switch goes off and tells me to go for the kill.

After reading more feedback I think I have a solid plan which I already mentioned. I'd prefer to not go out since she's already been over, but I'll see. I want to have her over to do something fun like shoot pool. Maybe have a bottle of wine on deck or some beer. Play around for a bit tease her, manhandle her (when the situation calls for it) and just keep a fun vibe. This will keep her shields down. Then I'll suggest we go upstairs and we can listen to hip-hop (which we both love apparently) and show her pics and souvenirs from my trip recent. The whole time I'm doing this I plan on teasing her, kissing her here and there grabbing her ass etc.

I think one of my issues is once I see an opportunity to score I just get tunnel vision. There's no playful teasing or escalation it's just straight to business which is a big no-no.

Anyway I'm looking way too much into this, I'll post back later in a few days.

[Ensam]

(11-17-2013 10:29 PM)Seth_Rose Wrote:  

Yea I mean I think most of the guys would agree here that pushing for the bang is always the way to go. I just don't know how not to if that makes sense. I mean cute girl in my house, then my bed it's like a switch goes off and tells me to go for the kill.

Still always go for the bang, just don't be so obvious about it. Escalating is about escalating her emotional state. Blaster is 100% correct that dominance will do the trick. Last weekend I picked a girl up at the bar. We were making out, I tried to take off her jacket, she put a stop to it said she had to go home. So we make out a bit more, I stopped trying to literally get in her pants and just tossed her around a bit, tugged on her hair, etc. A few minutes later, while fully clothed - jacket and all - she goes, "do you have a condom?". You do not have to get chicks naked in order to get them turned on enough to want to bang.