[CaliforniaSupreme]

Good evening comrades,
I'm currently re-reading Bang, and I had a question:
How long does it take for self affirmation to take precedence over beta habits? In other words, roughly how long does it take for you to start believing in yourself and increase your confidence? I'm trying my best to go from "beta" --> Alpha but I still hold on to some beta tendencies that I'm having difficulty parting with. The biggest of these issues is over-analyzing everything- social situations, clothing/appearance, other's thoughts of me, etc. Also, does anyone have any tips to deal with this?

Thank you for taking the time to read this, I appreciate your effort and advice.

Best,
Matt

[WesternCancer]

(11-17-2013 12:01 AM)CaliforniaSupreme Wrote:  

The biggest of these issues is over-analyzing everything- social situations, clothing/appearance, other's thoughts of me, etc. Also, does anyone have any tips to deal with this?

You're doing this right now.

My advice?

Pick your ideal and take another step towards it every day. You will fuck up. You will do the wrong things. Be mindful of what you are doing, why, and its consequences.

Guys lose weight eating nothing but doritos just as guys lose weight eating strictly paleo.

Guys get muscles following men's health 'bodybuilding' splits and guys get muscles following starting strength.

Guys get laid wearing fuzzy hats and guys get laid wearing impeccable suits.

[CaliforniaSupreme]

(11-17-2013 12:15 AM)WesternCancer Wrote:  

(11-17-2013 12:01 AM)CaliforniaSupreme Wrote:  

The biggest of these issues is over-analyzing everything- social situations, clothing/appearance, other's thoughts of me, etc. Also, does anyone have any tips to deal with this?

You're doing this right now.

My advice?

Pick your ideal and take another step towards it every day. You will fuck up. You will do the wrong things. Be mindful of what you are doing, why, and its consequences.

Guys lose weight eating nothing but doritos just as guys lose weight eating strictly paleo.

Guys get muscles following men's health 'bodybuilding' splits and guys get muscles following starting strength.

Guys get laid wearing fuzzy hats and guys get laid wearing impeccable suits.

Excellent points, thank you. I have to stop giving a shit about a lot of stuff, because it's hampering my life.

[Isaac Jordan]

I'm going through something similar myself. I think a lot of us here are, even if we don't view it in the alpha/beta paradigm. We're all trying to become better men, and to answer your question, there's no set amount of time that it takes. Many would say it takes your entire life.

In fact, to view it in such terms as you've put it ("beta to alpha") is viewing it incorrectly. You need to put your trust in the process instead of focusing only on results.

There's a vision I have in my head of my Perfect Self. He's an amalgam of James Bond and The Most Interesting Man In The World. A self-made multimillionaire entrepreneur who puts only the healthiest of food into his body, who takes great care to cultivate both his mind and his soul, and who associates with only the best of company. A man who wakes up at 5 a.m. every day ready to kick ass and slay top-notch pussy.

I know I'm not that man today. In fact, I will probably never be that man, as that man is an Ideal, something to strive for even though I'll likely never reach it.

But it's in this act of striving that I improve. I wake up every day, and I begin with the end in mind and work backwards. I imagine 50 year-old Isaac, and I think to myself, "What would he have done in order to become the kind of man he is?" And then I go and do those things.

I get up instead of sleeping in. I eat bacon and eggs instead of poptarts. I hit the gym and read a book instead of watching TV. I approach girls even when I'm not in the mood because it took decades of practice for 50 year-old Isaac to become the Casanova that he is.

And what's really strange, is I start to feel like this man I'm striving to become. I know logically I'm not, but emotionally it's as if I already am him, simply minus some time. I know that I'm involved in a process that will produce a certain result, as long as I have the patience and strength of will to continue the process. It's like knowing that cake batter isn't actually cake, but it sort of IS cake, just minus some time (and heat).

I don't have a six-pack, but I know I will soon (because of my strict eating and gym habits), so I act as if I already have one. Like I've purchased it on a layaway plan and I simply have to make a number of payments before the universe will let me have it.

The same goes for my bank account. I'm not a millionaire-but my net income has been positive every month for the past year. If I continue this process, eventually I'll be a millionaire. And so I walk around with my head held a bit higher, thinking myself better than I actually am, because I know that soon I WILL be better than I am. I start acting like a millionaire would act, because in my head I'm already a millionaire.

I've never banged a 9, but I banged my first 6 two years ago, my first 7 last year, and my first 8 last week. At this rate it will only be a matter of time before I bang a 9, so I begin to act like I deserve a 9, because I know that soon I actually WILL deserve a 9.

TL;DR: Develop a good process and then trust in that process. Don't focus on results; simply work on doing things a little bit better than the day before. You'll be surprised how quickly you improve.

[CaliforniaSupreme]

Alright, thanks.
I'm going to view it as a journey instead of a change from now on.

[gusfring]

(11-17-2013 01:54 AM)Isaac Jordan Wrote:  

I'm going through something similar myself. I think a lot of us here are, even if we don't view it in the alpha/beta paradigm. We're all trying to become better men, and to answer your question, there's no set amount of time that it takes. Many would say it takes your entire life.

In fact, to view it in such terms as you've put it ("beta to alpha") is viewing it incorrectly. You need to put your trust in the process instead of focusing only on results.

There's a vision I have in my head of my Perfect Self. He's an amalgam of James Bond and The Most Interesting Man In The World. A self-made multimillionaire entrepreneur who puts only the healthiest of food into his body, who takes great care to cultivate both his mind and his soul, and who associates with only the best of company. A man who wakes up at 5 a.m. every day ready to kick ass and slay top-notch pussy.

I know I'm not that man today. In fact, I will probably never be that man, as that man is an Ideal, something to strive for even though I'll likely never reach it.

But it's in this act of striving that I improve. I wake up every day, and I begin with the end in mind and work backwards. I imagine 50 year-old Isaac, and I think to myself, "What would he have done in order to become the kind of man he is?" And then I go and do those things.

I get up instead of sleeping in. I eat bacon and eggs instead of poptarts. I hit the gym and read a book instead of watching TV. I approach girls even when I'm not in the mood because it took decades of practice for 50 year-old Isaac to become the Casanova that he is.

And what's really strange, is I start to feel like this man I'm striving to become. I know logically I'm not, but emotionally it's as if I already am him, simply minus some time. I know that I'm involved in a process that will produce a certain result, as long as I have the patience and strength of will to continue the process. It's like knowing that cake batter isn't actually cake, but it sort of IS cake, just minus some time (and heat).

I don't have a six-pack, but I know I will soon (because of my strict eating and gym habits), so I act as if I already have one. Like I've purchased it on a layaway plan and I simply have to make a number of payments before the universe will let me have it.

The same goes for my bank account. I'm not a millionaire-but my net income has been positive every month for the past year. If I continue this process, eventually I'll be a millionaire. And so I walk around with my head held a bit higher, thinking myself better than I actually am, because I know that soon I WILL be better than I am. I start acting like a millionaire would act, because in my head I'm already a millionaire.

I've never banged a 9, but I banged my first 6 two years ago, my first 7 last year, and my first 8 last week. At this rate it will only be a matter of time before I bang a 9, so I begin to act like I deserve a 9, because I know that soon I actually WILL deserve a 9.

TL;DR: Develop a good process and then trust in that process. Don't focus on results; simply work on doing things a little bit better than the day before. You'll be surprised how quickly you improve.

Just like to add that I think its more like Beta -> XYZ -> Alpha.
There is another state in between when you have had the red pill and woken up and before you become powerful neo you have to be weak neo for a while.

In that regard eating better, improving posture and wroking out are starters.

[Mage]

I beleive that the change from a beta to an alpha is instantaneous.

You take shit from people = beta.

You don't take shit, you don't giva a shit and call other on their shit = alpha.

Sure some subconscious beta mannerisms are rooted deep and can take years to reap out. But even with them you are already an apha merely with traces of beta if you decide to change NOW!

[XXL]

That's for you