[Bukowsky]

Once upon a time I banged a girl.

Then I found out I liked her. So I banged her again. And again.

Six months later, I found out she was seeing another guy on the side casually back when I ran into her, and continued to do so for 3 weeks after we met. I was disgusted, and the excuse she gave was "I didn't know if you were serious, I thought it was just sex".

I didn't care, I was so freaked out that crazy slut was rawdogging two men simultaneously, I wanted to amputate my dick for having been such disgusting places.

So...

Most girls I pull, when it happens (dry spell right now), are, by my standards, attractive. It is therefore safe to assume an army of cock is besiegeing her defences, and with all due respect, if I have a chance, so does at least a percentage of that army, ie. several dudes.

I have discovered that it is VERY common for the attractive girls I know to bet on several ponies at once, and Samantha from SATC is not so unrealistic a character at all. Just imagine a version of her that actually comes off as innocent and sweet. Shudder.

What is the best strategy to set the record straight? I can see several possibilities:

#1: First date, the same date you make it out with her. You tell her you expect her to be exclusive.

#2: After you bang her the first time, before she leaves your pad or you leave hers. You ask "are you seeing anyone regularly" giving her a chance to say no, then you say "If we're going to do this again, I don't want anyone else in the picture".

#3: Don't. Give. A. Shit. Be mentally prepared to accept you're probably banging a slut (you are banging her, after all), so you can just not care and jack-hammer away. Instead, expect your complete indifference to be the primus motor for her falling head over heals in love you, you alpha-dog.

I see pros and cons with each one.

The strategy I suspect most interesting is the one where you extract an obligation from her, which she will stick to, without you having to give one in return.

Princes of PUA, enlighten me.

[Bukowsky]

Surely someone in here must have some strategy on how to avoid the pitfall where you are one out of several dudes banging the same chick every week?

[Jack Frost]

I think the first date after just a makeout is gonna come on a little strong, seems kind of desperate unless she REALLY likes you you might get some push back. I think your best bet is #2 after sleeping with someone its totally reasonable to inquire if shes sleeping with anyone else.

Thats just my opinion and Im not really deep into the psychology of pick up yet, I just do what works for me. Theres guys on here that Im sure can break it down for you better than me.

[iknowexactly]

Think about what kind of person she is, the implications of playing someone, what would you tell a girl who said the same thing about a guy.

I heard this great quote from an old woman who was talking about a guy with two girls he was banging, and the conflict of trying to "reel him in."

It blew me away how sharp her insight was. She said "He doesn't really like either of them."

If she was serious about you, you'd know it. And she'd act it.

[Lumiere]

My tip would be to not have jealousy and posessiveness in your life in the first place.

If you have them in your life, you suffer.

Simple.

[MiXX]

(11-08-2010 05:09 PM)Bukowsky Wrote:  

I didn't care, I was so freaked out that crazy slut was rawdogging two men simultaneously, I wanted to amputate my dick for having been such disgusting places.

For every single girl you rawdogg, I can assure she has rawdogged 3 men.

Women like it raw as much if not more than men. Its women that always tell me not to put on a condom, not the other way around.

[Quasi]

So true.. these days all the women I encounter more or less hint they prefer without.. or keep on asking for me to drop it..

and yeah its sounds desperate to expect anything from first to no 3 date.. I know how you feel, but I gotta say you gotta expect it.. I have this friend and she was like "of I meet this guy I think has potential" but she is still banging her fuck buddy

Besides she was right..you didnt know.. so expect nothing.

[Jack Frost]

(11-11-2010 12:01 PM)MiXX Wrote:  

For every single girl you rawdogg, I can assure she has rawdogged 3 men.

Women like it raw as much if not more than men. Its women that always tell me not to put on a condom, not the other way around.

Agreed, in the last 4 years or so Ive noticed women asking for it without a lot more.

[Moma]

(11-11-2010 08:52 AM)Lumiere Wrote:  

My tip would be to not have jealousy and posessiveness in your life in the first place.

If you have them in your life, you suffer.

Simple.

I agree with this. If you feel love or envy creeping in, just take a shot of rum and breathe deeply and then clamber underneath another lizard.
That should work.

[Benedict]

This feels almost feels like my situation, except after banging the shit out her for 2 weeks she wants to casual date to see if her feelings she's having for me are real.

[Neo]

It's tough, but for a girl to be exclusive with you, you don't really have to do anything. After a while they just get attached. I think the worst thing to do is to push the outcome, just keep banging her and giving it to her good having a great time together, give them drama, and eventually she will latch on.

I am in my twenties and I can say that only the first few girls that I had been with in my life(when I was a teenager) did I actually ask them to be my girlfriend or exclusive. The rest it just happened as most (normal) women just latch on to you with time.

[speakeasy]

(11-11-2010 12:01 PM)MiXX Wrote:  

(11-08-2010 05:09 PM)Bukowsky Wrote:  

I didn't care, I was so freaked out that crazy slut was rawdogging two men simultaneously, I wanted to amputate my dick for having been such disgusting places.

For every single girl you rawdogg, I can assure she has rawdogged 3 men.

Women like it raw as much if not more than men. Its women that always tell me not to put on a condom, not the other way around.

I was once active with this woman for many months and I never went in raw, all because she asked me on our first time(which was our 2nd date) to take the condom off. I was like helllllll no. No telling how many dudes have run through this shit raw.

[speakeasy]

(11-19-2010 07:18 PM)Neo Wrote:  

It's tough, but for a girl to be exclusive with you, you don't really have to do anything. After a while they just get attached. I think the worst thing to do is to push the outcome, just keep banging her and giving it to her good having a great time together, give them drama, and eventually she will latch on.

I am in my twenties and I can say that only the first few girls that I had been with in my life(when I was a teenager) did I actually ask them to be my girlfriend or exclusive. The rest it just happened as most (normal) women just latch on to you with time.

Yeah, the problem I think is the opposite. How to get a girl you want to bang to NOT get attached to you and trying to pressure you into a relationship.

[InternationPlayboy]

(11-19-2010 07:55 PM)speakeasy Wrote:  

(11-19-2010 07:18 PM)Neo Wrote:  

It's tough, but for a girl to be exclusive with you, you don't really have to do anything. After a while they just get attached. I think the worst thing to do is to push the outcome, just keep banging her and giving it to her good having a great time together, give them drama, and eventually she will latch on.

I am in my twenties and I can say that only the first few girls that I had been with in my life(when I was a teenager) did I actually ask them to be my girlfriend or exclusive. The rest it just happened as most (normal) women just latch on to you with time.

Yeah, the problem I think is the opposite. How to get a girl you want to bang to NOT get attached to you and trying to pressure you into a relationship.

I have this similar situation. I keep meeting girls that I'm hesitant to fuck because lately, just moving to miami and not knowing anyone, the girls that I'm meeting and I can tell would want to fuck are either my neighbor, her friend, a co worker, a friend of a friend. Someone I know is going to expect more than just a hook up, and I'm not down with it from any of them (Maybe one, but she lives 4 hours aways, that always seems to happen. When I meet g/f material, I can't be with her). But then again I've also met a few that seem DTF with no strings attached. On last night for sure. I feel like I could have so many lays if only I didn't have to see these girls again. Sometimes I think, "Who gives a shit, just fuck her and be an asshole, what's the worst that can happen." But then others I'm like, "I'm gonna see this girl tomorrow, and she's gonna hate me because I'm gonna show her no love." Sometimes it's hard to make that decision. I probably let at least 3 or 4 lays go since I've been here simply because I didn't want strings attached.

[InternationPlayboy]

(11-19-2010 07:55 PM)speakeasy Wrote:  

(11-19-2010 07:18 PM)Neo Wrote:  

It's tough, but for a girl to be exclusive with you, you don't really have to do anything. After a while they just get attached. I think the worst thing to do is to push the outcome, just keep banging her and giving it to her good having a great time together, give them drama, and eventually she will latch on.

I am in my twenties and I can say that only the first few girls that I had been with in my life(when I was a teenager) did I actually ask them to be my girlfriend or exclusive. The rest it just happened as most (normal) women just latch on to you with time.

Yeah, the problem I think is the opposite. How to get a girl you want to bang to NOT get attached to you and trying to pressure you into a relationship.

I have this similar situation. I keep meeting girls that I'm hesitant to fuck because lately, just moving to miami and not knowing anyone, the girls that I'm meeting and I can tell would want to fuck are either my neighbor, her friend, a co worker, a friend of a friend. Someone I know is going to expect more than just a hook up, and I'm not down with it from any of them. But then again I've also met a few that seem DTF with no strings attached. One last night for sure. I feel like I could have so many lays if only I didn't have to see these girls again. Sometimes I think, "Who gives a shit, just fuck her and be an asshole, what's the worst that can happen." But then others I'm like, "I'm gonna see this girl tomorrow, and she's gonna hate me because I'm gonna show her no love." Sometimes it's hard to make that decision. I probably let at least 3 or 4 lays go since I've been here simply because I didn't want strings attached and didn't want to deal with the aftermath if the girl wanted to be more than just friends. Plus, if you do hook up with a girl you don't want, they see you don't want them and then they just cling to you more and more. It's a lose-lose situation.

[robreke]

I'm thinking about asking this (quite a bit) younger woman I've been seeing and banging a few months for exclusivity. More because I just don't want her banging or dating other dudes. I like her and don't like the thought of her getting with other guys if she's getting with me.

In our past few hookups...she keeps asking "what are you thinking" she keeps saying "I like you" "I told my friend I like you a lot" and our last date...I took her to dinner then we went back to my apartment for a bit....she said "Do you have something you want to tell me?" I told her she was more than a friend with benefits and I liked her and she did the same...but I think she wanted more. Later on that night..she said "I like you" and I paused for maybe 15 seconds and said "I like you too" She said "Liar" kind of jokingly ( I think )


I was going to ask her (in a non beta way as possible....ie, somewhat laid back ) if she's been seeing and dating others since we've been going out. If I'm satisfied with that answer from her....ie, she hasn't been seeing other guys while with me, then, I was going to ask her or insinuate that I want her to be exclusive to me. I want her for myself. Thoughts or advice on my plan?

[Menace]

I would advise against asking a girl for exclusivity. Let her ask you. Don't ask about other guys.

[robreke]

(08-17-2014 09:06 PM)Menace Wrote:  

I would advise against asking a girl for exclusivity. Let her ask you. Don't ask about other guys.

I know it's wrong to ask about other guys. Let's say I let her bring up exclusivity. At that point could I ask about other guys?

The reason I have to know is if I'm going to get in a relationship with her, I need to know if she was banging other guys while she was banging me. If that's the case....regardless of who brings up exclusivity, I don't want to be with her because that type of behavior is sluttish and promiscuous and I do not want to be with a whorish girl that fucks multiple guys at once.

I would need to know this about other guys before I can agree to a relationship.

[AntiTrace]

(08-17-2014 09:50 PM)robreke Wrote:  

(08-17-2014 09:06 PM)Menace Wrote:  

I would advise against asking a girl for exclusivity. Let her ask you. Don't ask about other guys.

I know it's wrong to ask about other guys. Let's say I let her bring up exclusivity. At that point could I ask about other guys?

The reason I have to know is if I'm going to get in a relationship with her, I need to know if she was banging other guys while she was banging me. If that's the case....regardless of who brings up exclusivity, I don't want to be with her because that type of behavior is sluttish and promiscuous and I do not want to be with a whorish girl that fucks multiple guys at once.

I would need to know this about other guys before I can agree to a relationship.

You can have the relationship talk and lay down ground rules.

One technique I've used in the past is jokingly bringing up "deal breakers", those things that would automatically disqualify her as a relationship partner. I'll start off with super crazy ones that are obviously a joke, like she has to cut all her sandwichs in triangles and remove the crust. Normally they will transition to the more serious stuff and you can lay down the law there.

Or you could just ask her outright (kinda goes into the relationship talk). If she is talking exclusivity you have nothing to be ashamed of by straight up asking her about other guys.

[Dagnasty]

You can't, and she has to ask you.

If you are asking her for this you're, DLVing yourself. Spin plates until one of them asks you to be exclusive if your goal is an LTR.

[Foolsgo1d]

Better question. Why do you want something exclusive with a girl who is hedging her bets with 2 or more guys with sex going on? Raw dogging too.

You really want to have her exclusive with you? Or are you hoping to lock her down in a harem and fuck other girls?

[The Beast1]

(11-09-2010 09:40 AM)Bukowsky Wrote:  

Surely someone in here must have some strategy on how to avoid the pitfall where you are one out of several dudes banging the same chick every week?

The solution is to not go after women in environments where known sluts congregate.

That includes bars, clubs, and internet dating.

Go make friends with girls in a social circle or hobby oriented group. Find someplace where that behavior is shamed. There aren't a lot, but they are out there.

Rule of thumb: don't try and lock down a girl that bets on multiple ponies. That's a red flag right there.

[SydneyD]

If she really wanted to be exclusive don't you think she would have asked you by now. You've been around each other for a really long time.

Think about it.

It's very telling that the OP isn't around here anymore. He probably married the girl that inspired him to post this thread.

If you want to sleep with lots of beautiful women then you shouldn't be thinking about these kind of things. Those are very dangerous thoughts which are incongruent with the life of a player.

But if you plan on settling down with her then go ahead and ask her to be exclusive with you....

[robreke]

(08-18-2014 05:14 AM)Foolsgo1d Wrote:  

Better question. Why do you want something exclusive with a girl who is hedging her bets with 2 or more guys with sex going on? Raw dogging too.

You really want to have her exclusive with you? Or are you hoping to lock her down in a harem and fuck other girls?

I want her to be exclusive with me, but I want to occasionally date other girls. I just don't like the thought of banging girls ( especially those I'm starting to like ) who are banging other guys while I'm banging them. A bit hypocritical I know...but just the way I want it.

[cmrocks]

Depends on what type of girl she is. If you're getting to 2nd base with her on the first date or fucking her after 3 dates, you can safely assume that you may not be the only one. Believe it or not, there are women out there who aren't sluts. These girls might be going for coffee with a couple different men while "playing the field" but they aren't sleeping with multiple men. Hard to find, I know, but they do exist.