[LucidDayDream]

The hardest thing I have with pickup/dating/etc is the fine line between being needy enough to show you care and appearing non-needy enough to seem attractive.


I feel women want a bold man who speaks his mind and is a boss. But I've also learned we can't be too direct because it can appear needy (I believe this is what you guys call a White Knight). So how do i find a the perfect spot?

Here's my situation:

I don't want to appear to have "oneitis", but I met this super hot chick at a bar. She was with her hot friend and my game wasn't the best (I am new to all of this). but I chatted her up (it was very loud). After some back and forth of us splitting apart (She went outside, get drinks, plus I was working another girl at the same time). But finally, I got her digits at the end. It was a bit tough for me since I am not super smooth, but she put her first name and last name in the phone and I found that to be a good sign.

(Sidenote: Looks wise she wasn't out of my league and she was kind of an artist chic which sort of meets my vibe, so I feel we were a fair match)

The next day, I ended up texting her and she wrote back.

I didn't really feel like doing a lot of back and forth witty bullshit. I also didn't want to be a wimp and kiss her ass.

Her texting back to me was rather sparse, but I also didn't flood her with a ton of texts. I played it pretty cool.

But I finally said I don't get many numbers and that I was out of town (showing I have a life), and found her attractive but would like to get to know her (saying i thought she was hot but was wondering if she had more to her beyond her looks). (Note: these were true genuine statements, I am not into lying or anything like that)

She wrote back and said she was out of town until Thurs but maybe this upcoming weekend, with a question mark. I then said I'd enjoy that, and that I'd be in touch.

Thursday (today) came around and I asked if she was home yet. But I have heard no response.

(At one point I also thought maybe calling her would be a boss move, but in a way calling is kinda abrasive.. .and in some ways, needy! It kinda says "I want and need to talk to you, now.")

Anyway, sorry for the rambling, I just feel there is a fine line between being needy vs being forward. If anyone has any advice on this it would be great.

(I have this group of guys who love to go out and be totally indirect. They are all about "looking" like they're having a great time.. But I honestly feel many women a dying for a guy to just boss up and be forward. So I don't know. Obviously I am way overanalyzing.)

[kavakid]

I feel like its almost impossible to hide being needy.

Proof is in the pudding. If you are needy and forward, she will view you as needy. If you are relaxed and forward, she will view you as relaxed and forward.

The key is to not be needy. That means not giving a shit about any one girl, or worried you will not be laid. Ways you deal with this are:

Have a life
Have friends you enjoy being around and shit you enjoy doing
Be happy and proud of who you are
Maybe have some chick friends and/or fuck buddies to hang out with. Chick friends can do wonders as pivots.
Don't get oneitis, have multiple girls you are trying to date. Write to chicks online too.

Having said that, there are times when its just hard to avoid. For example, in Chicago I knew I was leaving soon and came across maybe a little needy in my texts. But that was because I was in a hurry. It can help to throw in negs, do shit to throw them off, etc in that situation.

Women are like psychics to vibe. The goal is to emit the non needy vibe that will permeate your life, your texts, everything you do. You will smell like a winner... The result is body language and behaviour that is very difficult to fake, and only comes from non-neediness.

In a situation where you barely met a girl and then its been a few days, I would say you should always call. Leave a message if you have to. Its much closer to actually meeting you again compared to a text. In the message maybe tell her why you liked her and what you are hoping the date will be. Tell her she can call or text you back. Some girls just love to text.

However, when you are leaving the voice message the recording will often reveal your neediness or non-neediness. If two guys leave messages, and one sounds non needy, who will she call back? If you must hide your neediness then at least put confident thoughts in your head when you leave the message. Think about her taking a shit or focus on her imperfect ass. I love to focus my mind on girls faults because it takes them off the pedestal.

After you leave a voice message, probably best not to call or text again until she contacts you back. She might even save that message for weeks and then call you when she is horny. She will have a permanent recording of your voice to remember you by. If you want to send one more text the next day or two saying "did you get my message?" it might not hurt (if you are in a hurry.)

Chances are she will call you back at the precise moment in which you forget about her and pursuit other women, not when you are sitting around hoping she will call.

Be firm about wanting to meet soon. It doesn't matter where or how. Since you barely know her, if you don't meet up in the first week its unlikely you ever will unless you made a real impression on her. If you guys are having decent phone conversations then you can be a little more relaxed but don't waste too much time if she won't meet you soon.

[WestIndianArchie]

What the hell am I reading?



You know why she's not responding to your texts with wet panties?

Cause you didn't make the impression you needed to make.

You know why you didn't make the impression you needed to make?
Why you're worried about coming off as needy?
Why you're stuck in some puerile fantasy of "bossing up"?

Cause you don't understand what game is.

Game isn't going to a bar and getting phone #'s after 10 minutes and trying to text message your way into the pussy.

THAT'S WHAT LAMES DO.
THOSE DUDES ARE SIMPS. CHODES. TOOLS. BETAS. Whatever the fuck you dudes are calling them weak bitches this week.

99 percent of the "guys I have a problem with this girl, and it's not one-itis" type posts is because dudes have the wrong impression of what GAME IS.

This is despite reading everything under the sun about game.

Apparently the shits not clicking at all. Gears ain't turning.

Mf'er got a hot lead from a hot chick and lets the bitch get out of his site while he talks to LESSER CHICKS?

"Yeah, I'm just gonna let that 9 who was feeling me walk out to get some drinks, grab a smoke, get hit on by other dudes, while I talk to this 6 with an overbite."

THAT MAKES SENSE?

Phone #'s? What's next email addresses? Twitter handles?

Send whatever hail mary type messages these cats will advise you to send, but next time you go out, and you get a bite from a chick who's digging you

TAKE THAT SHIT AS FAR A POSSIBLE THE SAME DAMN NIGHT.

Bar bout to close, you know a spot.
Her friends about to leave, you got a car.
Her friends don't want to leave her with you, BRING THEM BITCHES ALONG.
Gay friend or fat bitch BFF drags her arm, CALL THE HATER OUT.
Some dude cuts in? BOX THAT MF'ER OUT.
She goes out for a smoke, BRING A LIGHTER.

If you want that bitch to return your texts, your phone calls, you've got to make an impression on her.

You do that by spending more time with her WHEN YOU FIRST MEET HER.

"But WIA, this stranger that doesn't know me is gonna think i'm clingy, and that fucks with my self esteem, cause I don't want people to think I'm clingy, especially strangers"

Fuck your feelings.
And fuck what some stranger thinks.

You don't know her.
She has no value to you.
She can't beat you up.

Put that broad in her fucking place.
Hold her attention with your words and actions.
Go as far as you can that first fucking time you meet her.

In romantic terms, sweep that bitch off of her feet (and into your bed)

When you're experienced, when you know you've got a bitch, and when you've got a few in the background - that's when a phone # is important.

Right now, you need experience talking to a chick for a good length of time and getting out of your weak ass, lemme get your phone #, frame of mind.

WIA

[XXL]

The way I see it... as long as she enjoys your attention you can persist hard [with some common sense of course] cause whatever you do is viewed positively due to her feelings towards you. If she's not that responsive then the same actions might be looked down on cause she's not open enough yet so it's time to be more casual and make her more attracted first.

[kavakid]

I agree with WestIndianArchie's post. You definitely stand out and cause excitement by sticking with the girl like a bulldog when you first meet. It's how she is able to quickly screen you for strength, resolve, fun factor, etc etc. It's ideal to follow through the same night you meet her.

However, you can't always/don't want to stay up till 3 or 4am when you meet a girl. You also might meet a cool chick but she is out with her parents, has plans you can't intrude on, etc etc. Hell, you might even have plans of your own that you gotta stick with that night/day etc...

[Therapsid]

(10-04-2013 02:30 AM)WestIndianArchie Wrote:  

What the hell am I reading?



You know why she's not responding to your texts with wet panties?

Cause you didn't make the impression you needed to make.

You know why you didn't make the impression you needed to make?
Why you're worried about coming off as needy?
Why you're stuck in some puerile fantasy of "bossing up"?

Cause you don't understand what game is.

Game isn't going to a bar and getting phone #'s after 10 minutes and trying to text message your way into the pussy.

THAT'S WHAT LAMES DO.
THOSE DUDES ARE SIMPS. CHODES. TOOLS. BETAS. Whatever the fuck you dudes are calling them weak bitches this week.

99 percent of the "guys I have a problem with this girl, and it's not one-itis" type posts is because dudes have the wrong impression of what GAME IS.

This is despite reading everything under the sun about game.

Apparently the shits not clicking at all. Gears ain't turning.

Mf'er got a hot lead from a hot chick and lets the bitch get out of his site while he talks to LESSER CHICKS?

"Yeah, I'm just gonna let that 9 who was feeling me walk out to get some drinks, grab a smoke, get hit on by other dudes, while I talk to this 6 with an overbite."

THAT MAKES SENSE?

Phone #'s? What's next email addresses? Twitter handles?

Send whatever hail mary type messages these cats will advise you to send, but next time you go out, and you get a bite from a chick who's digging you

TAKE THAT SHIT AS FAR A POSSIBLE THE SAME DAMN NIGHT.

Bar bout to close, you know a spot.
Her friends about to leave, you got a car.
Her friends don't want to leave her with you, BRING THEM BITCHES ALONG.
Gay friend or fat bitch BFF drags her arm, CALL THE HATER OUT.
Some dude cuts in? BOX THAT MF'ER OUT.
She goes out for a smoke, BRING A LIGHTER.

If you want that bitch to return your texts, your phone calls, you've got to make an impression on her.

You do that by spending more time with her WHEN YOU FIRST MEET HER.

"But WIA, this stranger that doesn't know me is gonna think i'm clingy, and that fucks with my self esteem, cause I don't want people to think I'm clingy, especially strangers"

Fuck your feelings.
And fuck what some stranger thinks.

[James 2013]

How do you call a hater out without looking obnoxious to the girl youre trying to get with? what is an example of something you should say or do?

[WestIndianArchie]

@James

Some war pig tries to break the 2 of you up

Turn to your girl, are you enjoying yourself,
then you calmly introduce yourself to the hater

Then you start to defuse the situation.

Pretty much every game situation can be and must be handled in the moment. Knowing the exact body blocking and whether to go humorous or hateful comes from staying with the chick and dealing with all of the issues....

THAT IS WHAT GAME IS.

A dude steps up to your broad
Don't be rude introduce us
Is he trying to fuck?
You gonna let him?

Knowing what to say in these tight situations comes from staying in the moment.

WIA

[kavakid]

(10-04-2013 03:05 PM)WestIndianArchie Wrote:  

@James

Some war pig tries to break the 2 of you up

Turn to your girl, are you enjoying yourself,
then you calmly introduce yourself to the hater

Then you start to defuse the situation.

Pretty much every game situation can be and must be handled in the moment. Knowing the exact body blocking and whether to go humorous or hateful comes from staying with the chick and dealing with all of the issues....

THAT IS WHAT GAME IS.

A dude steps up to your broad
Don't be rude introduce us
Is he trying to fuck?
You gonna let him?

Knowing what to say in these tight situations comes from staying in the moment.

WIA

I agree completely. And it only comes from trial and error and learning not to give a fuck.

One of my best nights I did the following expert moves with instant thinking that even surprised myself.

After opening chick on patio, girl jokes to my wing and I that we are sexually harassing her. Instantly I put my left arm on her back and slide my right hand down the inside of her shirt and onto the upper portion of her chest while saying "no, THIS would be sexual harassment." It was executed with such confidence and timing that she found it very amusing and laughed.

Later with the same girl, we have been gaming her 2 friends also. But one is trying to cockblock and keeps talking about them leaving with her boyfriend. Finally, out on the sidewalk we start talking the 2 girls into ditching the cockblocker to go get food with us. The CBer grabs one of the girl's hands and starts to pull her across the street. Again, without thinking, I grab their two hands and separate them while saying "no! you don't own her!" Well CBer didn't have any response to that and just sort of starts motioning to her boyfriend in his car, who looks bored and doesn't give a fuck. The two other girls just stand there with a puppy dog look and then ask "okay, but where is your car. and where did your friends go?". At this point I realize that after over 30 minutes of gaming my two wingmen have given up and walked around the corner. I tell them to hold on and go around the corner to find my friends. (I should have just taken the girls with me even though I didn't know exactly how far my friends were). When they found out that I was so close to pulling the two girls they were kickin themselves... Girls were gone when we got back...

Never ever give up. The experience gained from the failure alone is worth it. My Mantra is "anything is possible" and I'm surprised how often this is true... Remember, the more obstacles you can plow through in a short period of time, the more the girl is able to approve you as fit to mate with.