[Capitán Peligroso]

Ashley Madison is an online dating site that caters to people who are married. They've done some insightful studies on who patronizes their services, and how. This particular article is anecdotal, not quantitative, and also reveals relationship patterns that we see in gaming all the time. This is what some of these "lady Don Drapers" have to say:

Quote:

Though Megan says her husband is "super-vanilla" and can barely handle her, she tells Wayne that she sticks around because they "have a really happy and functional house" and "he's also a fantastic guy and father."

Quote:

"I don't believe any one person ever fulfills a person's needs," she says. "And lifelong passion is extremely rare. If I left [my husband] and married someone else, it'd probably just be a matter of time until I had the same situation. It's unusual for a strong sexual component to remain after a few years, and I'm not willing to give up that part of my life."

Quote:

The last woman Wayne profiles is Laura, a corporate-type stuck in a loveless and sexually unsatisfying marriage to a husband who lacks ambition. To compensate for what's missing at home, Laura seeks out "very rich and older and dominant" men online.

"In the workplace, it should be equal," she says. "But in the house, the only way it works is if there's a strong masculine and feminine component. You need to give your husband a blow job every day. He should feel like a king. Seeking it out in my sexual life is to make up for it in my real life. I want my husband to be dominant and more successful. I don't want to be the man in the relationship."

Anyone else see a pattern here? If any of you cats have used this website, I'd like to hear your experiences...

[Luvianka]

I must confess that I used it. Pretty much a waste of time. I wanted to try some online dating, so I registered in the Mexican site. About 50% of the girls posted in Mexico are single. Most of them professional urban girls. I have a code: No married women, so I only contacted single women and only responded to messages from those girls. Only got 4 dates in 3 months and just one laid.

[Capitán Peligroso]

I didn't know that AshleyMadison was in the Mexican market.

Quote:

About 50% of the girls posted in Mexico are single. Most of them professional urban girls.

I would think that could be a worthwhile demographic to work there. I take it the ROI just wasn't worth the investment?

[eradicator]

I imagine they are in any market that has internet.

[Ridge Black]

(10-02-2013 09:08 PM)Luvianka Wrote:  

I must confess that I used it. Pretty much a waste of time. I wanted to try some online dating, so I registered in the Mexican site. About 50% of the girls posted in Mexico are single. Most of them professional urban girls. I have a code: No married women, so I only contacted single women and only responded to messages from those girls. Only got 4 dates in 3 months and just one laid.

I'm curious: is your code ethical or pragmatic in nature?

I've heard some guys say they're morally opposed to fucking another guy's wife and others say they just don't want the drama it can cause if the affair is discovered. Where do you land?

[Cattle Rustler]

(10-02-2013 09:08 PM)Luvianka Wrote:  

I must confess that I used it. Pretty much a waste of time. I wanted to try some online dating, so I registered in the Mexican site. About 50% of the girls posted in Mexico are single. Most of them professional urban girls. I have a code: No married women, so I only contacted single women and only responded to messages from those girls. Only got 4 dates in 3 months and just one laid.

AM works in Mexico? Wow, who knew.

I like to bang married women and often do so when visiting DF and Puebla....so I'll give it a try.

[MikeCF]

Ashley Madison is a scam.

Read the terms of agreement when you sign up. Buried with those terms is a line like, "You may be contacted by hosts employed by AM."

In other words, the women who hit you up are fake!

[Cattle Rustler]

Good eye mike.

Any site that promotes itself too much and has too many good looking women is a scam to me.

In fact, the free sites are the largest and most reliable ones, OKC, POF, then Match.com.

[Ridge Black]

(10-04-2013 06:09 PM)MikeCF Wrote:  

Ashley Madison is a scam.

Read the terms of agreement when you sign up. Buried with those terms is a line like, "You may be contacted by hosts employed by AM."

In other words, the women who hit you up are fake!

But if you fuck one of those employees, wouldn't that be counterinsurgency game?

[Tuthmosis]

There's no such thing as free pussy.

[RockHard]

(10-02-2013 08:41 PM)Capitán Peligroso Wrote:  

Anyone else see a pattern here? If any of you cats have used this website, I'd like to hear your experiences...

I've used it some. There used to be a blog "Ashley & Me" that had a number of stories and there are still specialty blogs out there for this niche. There are real women on there, the problem is that the people who run it are lowlifes (surprise!). Numerous "dark design patterns", stuff you put on a site to trick people into spending money. For example, they have a "priority message" option that costs around $2 / message to use, and that's checked by default. Every message you send costs credits, which discourages the numbers game, in fact, for the price of a coffee at Starbucks, you can send a message to a chick that may or may not even get read. Similarly, when you go to delete your account, there's a "safe delete" option which is featured prominently and leads you to click on it, supposedly with the feature that they'll delete all your info - in other words, pay us $20 or we'll leave your personal details on the site. Minimum buy in is $50. They'll auto refill off your credit card unless you uncheck THAT option. If you must do it, use protection: buy one of those Visa gift cards at the supermarket, so if they do try to charge that card without your consent, it'll have a limit. Someone mentioned the online hosts, that's a real thing too. Another way to get you to spend credits. They're easy to spot: woman from random location wants to IM ($1/minute) with you? Yeah, right.

I've met some women off there. Quality was iffy. Some serious hot sluts, a lot of chicks who when you see their pic, you realize why their husband doesn't want to fuck them. A lot of attention whores. Seriously, Craigslist is better, even for married tail. At least it's free. You're better off taking your $50, spending $10 on Day Bang, and the other $40 on coffees doing coffee shop game.

[Capitán Peligroso]

@RockHard...you make some good points. Thanks for your input and welcome to the forum.

[MikeCF]

(10-04-2013 06:25 PM)RockHard Wrote:  

There used to be a blog "Ashley & Me" that had a number of stories and there are still specialty blogs out there for this niche.

How do you know that those blogs weren't written by someone contracted AM as a social media strategy?

There are a lot of unemployed writers in L.A.....good ones, too....not that hard to pay some of them to blog about how hot their sex life is by using AM.

[eradicator]

wow thanks for the info.

okc, pof, badoo, match, eharmony, those all seem relatively legit at least. have any of you tried howaboutwe.com? You get a free month of sending messages and receiving if you use the coupon code 'falldating' but the problem is most of the people on it are not subscribed and therefore cannot read any messages you send. very poorly designed layout. nice premise(to get people on dates instead of stuck back and forth messaging each other) but very poor layout.

[Cattle Rustler]

(10-04-2013 06:46 PM)master_thespian Wrote:  

wow thanks for the info.

okc, pof, badoo, match, eharmony, those all seem relatively legit at least. have any of you tried howaboutwe.com? You get a free month of sending messages and receiving if you use the coupon code 'falldating' but the problem is most of the people on it are not subscribed and therefore cannot read any messages you send. very poorly designed layout. nice premise(to get people on dates instead of stuck back and forth messaging each other) but very poor layout.

I haven't even heard of it. Use Meetme for 18-20 girls and Tindr.

[Kingsley Davis]

(10-04-2013 06:25 PM)RockHard Wrote:  

(10-02-2013 08:41 PM)Capitán Peligroso Wrote:  

Anyone else see a pattern here? If any of you cats have used this website, I'd like to hear your experiences...

I've used it some. There used to be a blog "Ashley & Me" that had a number of stories and there are still specialty blogs out there for this niche. There are real women on there, the problem is that the people who run it are lowlifes (surprise!). Numerous "dark design patterns", stuff you put on a site to trick people into spending money. For example, they have a "priority message" option that costs around $2 / message to use, and that's checked by default. Every message you send costs credits, which discourages the numbers game, in fact, for the price of a coffee at Starbucks, you can send a message to a chick that may or may not even get read. Similarly, when you go to delete your account, there's a "safe delete" option which is featured prominently and leads you to click on it, supposedly with the feature that they'll delete all your info - in other words, pay us $20 or we'll leave your personal details on the site. Minimum buy in is $50. They'll auto refill off your credit card unless you uncheck THAT option. If you must do it, use protection: buy one of those Visa gift cards at the supermarket, so if they do try to charge that card without your consent, it'll have a limit. Someone mentioned the online hosts, that's a real thing too. Another way to get you to spend credits. They're easy to spot: woman from random location wants to IM ($1/minute) with you? Yeah, right.

I've met some women off there. Quality was iffy. Some serious hot sluts, a lot of chicks who when you see their pic, you realize why their husband doesn't want to fuck them. A lot of attention whores. Seriously, Craigslist is better, even for married tail. At least it's free. You're better off taking your $50, spending $10 on Day Bang, and the other $40 on coffees doing coffee shop game.

"a lot of chicks who when you see their pic, you realize why their husband doesn't want to fuck them."

[Therapsid]

Ashley Madison may make sense for the married guys. Unlike free sites, married schlubs can feel ironically feel safer picking up broads on a site explicitly devoted to cheating.

[SamuraiJack]

I joined AM just over a year ago. I signed up for their "Affair Guaranteed" plan. That gives 1000 credits for $249. For that I ended up banging 5 girls. 3 were SNL, and 1 I banged once or twice a week over a 3 or 4 month period. She was a petite but curvy Kenyan HB8. The rest were in the 4-6 range. Aside from the Kenyan, all of the rest were overweight and all but 1 were 35+. One of the SNL was 23 y.o. but overweight.

As far as logistics, since I was married I wasn't going to be able to bring them home, so I would meet in other nearby cities. 2 of the SNL were in the womens cars and the other we just agreed to meet at a motel room for the date. The Kenyan I didn't bang until the 3rd date. And the last one we met for lunch (she paid for herself) and 2nd date was at her place (she was single) and we got to fucking right away.

When I joined I was married, so it was the only realistic online option for me as it allows anonymity until you are ready to disclose. Now that I'm divorced, it is much easier for me to get girls in person than online. I've also tried POF, but had zero bites off of that. Keep in mind I'm fit but I'm also in my 40's and 5'5" tall, so online in general is a challenge for me. However, on AM the age hasn't really been a problem.

Before signing up for AM I read the whole "How to get laid on okcupid like a boss" thread. I figured some of the wisdom there should apply on AM as well. Well, those tactics didn't work for me on AM. I tried some of the openers and profile tips, but didn't get good responses.

Here's what did work for me...

On the profile, I didn't check any of the boxes. I simply used the free text sections. I basically build up the women that in such a way that if I contact them it seems like I consider them smart, interesting, etc. In other parts I get them thinking about romance by talking about how kissing is great and do some light screening by alluding to sex and being naked. They know what I am going for. And in reality, many of the women's profiles are blatant about looking for sex. I also put my age in mid-30's and increased height by an inch. Right now my height is listed as 5'8", but I'm not active on the site so don't know if that would be an issue during the first meet up.

As far as openers, the one liners mentioned in the OKcupid thread didn't work for me. I ended up with 2 or 3 openers that were longer that I tweaked for each girl based on her profile. In general, it would take me about 5-10 minutes to tweak the message. The 1st message you send to a girl costs you 5 credits. After that, there isn't a charge unless you send it priority, in which case it's another 5 credits. One of the other posters mentioned it is default, so you need to go to your profile right away and deselect it so that it won't be default. My openers were humorous and witty, with specific details about the girl.

Once I get them responding, I will try to set up a date by my 3rd or 4th message. I don't like to keep the messaging going on too long. Starting with my opener, I'm trying to build comfort with them so that they feel like they know me. If they are hesitant to meet, then I will generally move on since they are probably just looking for some attention and validation. I've heard about the AM plants, but I'm sure if I did encounter one I screened them out fairly quickly just because I was focused on getting them to meet in person quickly.

I generally targeted married women that didn't emphasize sex in their profile. I figured the ones that were blatant about wanting sex were looking for attention and probably had a ton more responses, so it would be harder for me to stand out, even with a good opener. There are also a lot of women on the site looking for sugar daddy's, I generally stayed away from them. Although I've thought of using some of the tips from the Seeking Arrangement thread but haven't got around to it. I also focused on women that were 5'2" or shorter due to my height. I personally don't care if a women is taller than me, but I got zero interest from women 5'4" or taller so I stopped spending credits on them.

For me, I felt AM was a good investment since I was married at the time I joined. That being said, now that I'm divorced I prefer meeting women in bars. Much easier to get laid that way than via AM.

[Capitán Peligroso]

Top 10 cities for mistresses, according to AshleyMadison.

[RockHard]

(10-04-2013 06:42 PM)MikeCF Wrote:  

(10-04-2013 06:25 PM)RockHard Wrote:  

There used to be a blog "Ashley & Me" that had a number of stories and there are still specialty blogs out there for this niche.

How do you know that those blogs weren't written by someone contracted AM as a social media strategy?

There are a lot of unemployed writers in L.A.....good ones, too....not that hard to pay some of them to blog about how hot their sex life is by using AM.

Because I've corresponded with the guy, and I know people who've met the guy in real life. There's a seriously fucked up story to why his blog is "used to be".

Also, search the user "RiffDog" on here. That's him.

[RockHard]

(10-05-2013 11:19 PM)SamuraiJack Wrote:  

Before signing up for AM I read the whole "How to get laid on okcupid like a boss" thread. I figured some of the wisdom there should apply on AM as well. Well, those tactics didn't work for me on AM. I tried some of the openers and profile tips, but didn't get good responses.

A bunch of things with that. Standard game I think works poorly on married women. For example the whole "ignore her for 2 days". For a woman in a shitty relationship, attention is what's going to get her. She already has a man who's ignoring her. A lot of game is tailored towards younger girls who get too much attention already. With a woman who's been married a while, her expectations change. Social freedom and excitement are key with any woman, but for a married girl, it's pure fucking gold. She wants a fantasy fulfilled, not real life. What's a married woman's fantasy? A guy who doesn't give a crap, has lots of social freedom, a guy who's going to have a good time and take her along for the ride. 50 shades didn't sell 70 million copies to mostly married women because it's good writing.

An old player type named Major Mark (mentioned in The Game, btw) had a book that you can still find on torrent sites. It's an old book but still pretty good advice if this is an itch you want to scratch.

[Acute Angle]

I signed up for AM just to have a look (didn't pay), and ever since that email address has been getting spammed to fuck with offers from other sites with a similar target audience. AM is definitely going to sell your address to third parties, be warned.

[Hotwheels]

Ashley Madison is reportedly about 5 times the size of SA when comparing revenues. $50 million compared to $10 million for SA and it's smaller, related sites.

Reading an article now that claims 16 million users while SA only claims 1.7.

Why do you think this is?

I understand one might take the numbers with a grain of salt, but it is a pretty big disparity.

btw-SA claims 12 employees while AM claims 42.

[Cattle Rustler]

I signed up and haven't received any offers

[CaptainChardonnay]

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