I'm in desperate need of some help. Rather, my older married brother is. I've been reading manosphere blogs for a while and have a strong understanding of hypergamy and the dangers of marriage. My brother however is all in on blue pill married and family life and as of last night I'm afraid he is about to be taken to the cleaners and lose everything. This is long but if there's any chance to save him it's right now so I beg you for help. I'm too angry to think clearly.
He's in his mid-thirties, spent the last decade working his tail off to become quite successful in his career, and has an expensive mortgage, new vehicles, three young children and a wife (who is starting to hit the wall). Now she's threatening to take it all away and we all know why.
They met when he was 19 and she was freshly 18. They dated for a little while, then he found out she cheated on him. She "just went skinny dipping" with a "friend" she met on spring break and (and lied about knowing him earlier) and he "only kissed her a little bit." That wasn't the only suspicious incident. He retaliated by giving in to an ex that threw herself at him a week later. They eventually got back together and she absolves herself of responsibility for her actions, but has never let him live down what he did with the ex even though it was a one time thing.
After getting back together they had an accident and had their first daughter in 2001. They decided to try to make it work and moved in together and eventually got married. Fast forward to now and they are living the "American Dream." He has a solid job as an engineer, she works weekends and nights as a nurse, and they make enough money to have a pretty nice house in a very nice town. Their oldest kid is 12 and they now also have a 3 year old daughter and 1 year old son. He got a vasectomy after having the third kid. She works odd hours and is frankly a lazy bitch, so he spends all of his waking hours when he's not at work taking care of the kids. He spent the last several years completely remodeling their home by himself, making dinner every night, and running the oldest to her various school activities.
Our family has always hated the wife. Wife was always extremely controlling, emotionally abusive, manipulative, and had him whipped from day one. She always had a convenient excuse for why he can't spend time with his family and almost never let him go to any events we had as a family but he was expected to be at all of hers for her family. Her sisters and parents were invited to every single birthday party, recital, etc but she would forbid his side of the family from coming. He was a pussy whipped bitch about it and caved in most times. This was all through her 20s. Now he's 34 and she's 33. You know what happens next.
He called me last night, sounding extremely upset, asking for a place to crash. Apparently she had been digging in his stuff and found out about a second email he hadn't told her about. She somehow got in to the account and pandora's box was open - she's already threatening divorce and says that she doesn't think she loves him anymore (despite the fact to his knowledge, they have been having zero other domestic issues). Apparently for the last few years, from time to time my brother was messaging some women he met online. A little dirty talk, a few scandalous pictures exchanged, but he never so much as got a phone number and definitely never met up with any of them. I believe them, because she and the kids have had him so busy he wouldn't have time, I'm his brother and he'd have no reason to lie to me about it, and honestly I did the same thing when I was dating a fattie back in my beta blue pill days. I never intended to meet up with any of the girls, it was more of an ego boost thing that actually helped make sure I didn't cheat for real - he related quickly to that sentiment.
If I went to any mainstream advice site they would say he is a pervert and shitty father who deserves whatever is coming to him from our "justice" system. I think that's bullshit. His kids are everything to him. He's been everything to them. He's turned his entire life over to that succubus woman and the children. This was a late night escape for a man who was all in on what society sold to him as ideal life, that wasn't quite fulfilling him for a reason he can't understand. They got together at 19 and 18. They're now 34 and 33. For 15 years he's been her lapdog, but it's always been about the children for him.
Last night he got teared up every time he brought up the kids and what his actions will do to them. He will do anything to make sure any damage to them is minimal. Meanwhile, she screamed at him while they were in the next room, and didn't spare any details. She's apparently been taking screenshots of his emails and has already sent them to her mother and sisters (divorce court ammo?). The most fucked up part is she keep threatening to show them TO THEIR TWELVE YEAR OLD DAUGHTER TO TURN HER AGAINST HIM. In a moment of anger last night, he said something like "I'm always the one always there for the kids while she's napping or bitching at me, I'm a far better father than she is a mother." He immediately felt bad and took it back, but I know damn well it's true.
It was stupid for him to do that, I admit. I don't condone doing that when you're married with children. But if I was dating that soul sucking succubus of a woman I probably would have done more than send a few dirty pictures to women. She doesn't care about what's good for the children. She doesn't care that he means it when he says he will never do anything like that again and that it doesn't mean her loves her of the family any less. She has him convinced he is a terrible person and father. She says he needs to start looking for other places to live. The children will be lost because he is the one who wakes them up, brings them to school, often picks them up from school, cooks them dinner, tucks them in, and starts over the next day. He asked her what she was going to tell the kids when he wasn't there in the morning. She told him her family would be there for them like he never could.
He's about to have his life completely fucking fall to ruin. Those screenshots will murder him in divorce court. Her family is already against him. She doesn't care about the kids, but I guarantee she will fight for custody and win with those emails. That's child support on three kids, she'll get the expensive ass house that he just spent all his free time remodeling. He makes pretty decent money. He's fucked. The kids that he's done so well raising so far will end up fucked up because I guarantee she will hold him out of their lives as much as she can.
So what the hell can I do? I'm shaking with anger after writing all of that. I know red pill concepts and hypergamy, but he will not be receptive to what his 25 year old unmarried brother has to say about concepts that are opposite of what his entire life has conditioned him to believe. I said what I could last night, but he'll be back tonight after talking to her again and telling the kids he will be away for a few nights. Is there any advice I can give him? He still has hope that he can make everything work out for the sake of the family. He's only thinking about the family. She's only thinking about herself.
If you actually read all of that, thank you. I've read too many horror stories that started out just like this. I want to do whatever I can to at the very least minimize the damage. He shouldn't have done what he did, that was definitely stupid, but he doesn't deserve to have his entire life torn away from him over it. Any advice you have is greatly appreciated.
He's in his mid-thirties, spent the last decade working his tail off to become quite successful in his career, and has an expensive mortgage, new vehicles, three young children and a wife (who is starting to hit the wall). Now she's threatening to take it all away and we all know why.
They met when he was 19 and she was freshly 18. They dated for a little while, then he found out she cheated on him. She "just went skinny dipping" with a "friend" she met on spring break and (and lied about knowing him earlier) and he "only kissed her a little bit." That wasn't the only suspicious incident. He retaliated by giving in to an ex that threw herself at him a week later. They eventually got back together and she absolves herself of responsibility for her actions, but has never let him live down what he did with the ex even though it was a one time thing.
After getting back together they had an accident and had their first daughter in 2001. They decided to try to make it work and moved in together and eventually got married. Fast forward to now and they are living the "American Dream." He has a solid job as an engineer, she works weekends and nights as a nurse, and they make enough money to have a pretty nice house in a very nice town. Their oldest kid is 12 and they now also have a 3 year old daughter and 1 year old son. He got a vasectomy after having the third kid. She works odd hours and is frankly a lazy bitch, so he spends all of his waking hours when he's not at work taking care of the kids. He spent the last several years completely remodeling their home by himself, making dinner every night, and running the oldest to her various school activities.
Our family has always hated the wife. Wife was always extremely controlling, emotionally abusive, manipulative, and had him whipped from day one. She always had a convenient excuse for why he can't spend time with his family and almost never let him go to any events we had as a family but he was expected to be at all of hers for her family. Her sisters and parents were invited to every single birthday party, recital, etc but she would forbid his side of the family from coming. He was a pussy whipped bitch about it and caved in most times. This was all through her 20s. Now he's 34 and she's 33. You know what happens next.
He called me last night, sounding extremely upset, asking for a place to crash. Apparently she had been digging in his stuff and found out about a second email he hadn't told her about. She somehow got in to the account and pandora's box was open - she's already threatening divorce and says that she doesn't think she loves him anymore (despite the fact to his knowledge, they have been having zero other domestic issues). Apparently for the last few years, from time to time my brother was messaging some women he met online. A little dirty talk, a few scandalous pictures exchanged, but he never so much as got a phone number and definitely never met up with any of them. I believe them, because she and the kids have had him so busy he wouldn't have time, I'm his brother and he'd have no reason to lie to me about it, and honestly I did the same thing when I was dating a fattie back in my beta blue pill days. I never intended to meet up with any of the girls, it was more of an ego boost thing that actually helped make sure I didn't cheat for real - he related quickly to that sentiment.
If I went to any mainstream advice site they would say he is a pervert and shitty father who deserves whatever is coming to him from our "justice" system. I think that's bullshit. His kids are everything to him. He's been everything to them. He's turned his entire life over to that succubus woman and the children. This was a late night escape for a man who was all in on what society sold to him as ideal life, that wasn't quite fulfilling him for a reason he can't understand. They got together at 19 and 18. They're now 34 and 33. For 15 years he's been her lapdog, but it's always been about the children for him.
Last night he got teared up every time he brought up the kids and what his actions will do to them. He will do anything to make sure any damage to them is minimal. Meanwhile, she screamed at him while they were in the next room, and didn't spare any details. She's apparently been taking screenshots of his emails and has already sent them to her mother and sisters (divorce court ammo?). The most fucked up part is she keep threatening to show them TO THEIR TWELVE YEAR OLD DAUGHTER TO TURN HER AGAINST HIM. In a moment of anger last night, he said something like "I'm always the one always there for the kids while she's napping or bitching at me, I'm a far better father than she is a mother." He immediately felt bad and took it back, but I know damn well it's true.
It was stupid for him to do that, I admit. I don't condone doing that when you're married with children. But if I was dating that soul sucking succubus of a woman I probably would have done more than send a few dirty pictures to women. She doesn't care about what's good for the children. She doesn't care that he means it when he says he will never do anything like that again and that it doesn't mean her loves her of the family any less. She has him convinced he is a terrible person and father. She says he needs to start looking for other places to live. The children will be lost because he is the one who wakes them up, brings them to school, often picks them up from school, cooks them dinner, tucks them in, and starts over the next day. He asked her what she was going to tell the kids when he wasn't there in the morning. She told him her family would be there for them like he never could.
He's about to have his life completely fucking fall to ruin. Those screenshots will murder him in divorce court. Her family is already against him. She doesn't care about the kids, but I guarantee she will fight for custody and win with those emails. That's child support on three kids, she'll get the expensive ass house that he just spent all his free time remodeling. He makes pretty decent money. He's fucked. The kids that he's done so well raising so far will end up fucked up because I guarantee she will hold him out of their lives as much as she can.
So what the hell can I do? I'm shaking with anger after writing all of that. I know red pill concepts and hypergamy, but he will not be receptive to what his 25 year old unmarried brother has to say about concepts that are opposite of what his entire life has conditioned him to believe. I said what I could last night, but he'll be back tonight after talking to her again and telling the kids he will be away for a few nights. Is there any advice I can give him? He still has hope that he can make everything work out for the sake of the family. He's only thinking about the family. She's only thinking about herself.
If you actually read all of that, thank you. I've read too many horror stories that started out just like this. I want to do whatever I can to at the very least minimize the damage. He shouldn't have done what he did, that was definitely stupid, but he doesn't deserve to have his entire life torn away from him over it. Any advice you have is greatly appreciated.
