[Benoit]

Road to relationships rough for expat women in Moscow

Quote:

On a blazing summer afternoon in Moscow, Stefania, an Italian professional in her early 30s, manages to look picture-perfect. In a belted tangerine dress, with an impeccable manicure and glossy hair, she fits right in to a local culture that celebrates ultra-feminine style. “You have to dress bright, like a traffic light – high heels, short skirts, hair, nails – to attract men’s attention,” she explained. “Dating in Moscow is a war, and your looks are your only weapons.”

Note the age, it will become important in a moment.

Quote:

“Dating Russian men never works out,” she sighed, shaking her head. “I think I will be single until I leave Russia.”

Stefania is just one of many beautiful and successful foreign women who’ve resigned themselves to spinsterhood for as long as they live in Moscow.
[...] “Russian men don’t take care of themselves,” Stefania said, wrinkling her nose.

Here we go again... what does she brings to the table to attract a guy who is already surrounded by younger, hotter, and less delusional options?

Quote:

For Western women, that can be a problem. “I have a female friend, an older Russian lady, who tells me that I work too much,” said Anna, an American businesswoman in her 30s working in Moscow. “She says I need to find a man and get married so that he can take care of me.”

For Anna, though, being a kept woman is not an option. “What she doesn’t understand is that I enjoy working and being very independent and career-driven. I don’t need to be taken care of,” she said. “I think that’s part of why I’ve never dated a Russian man.”

Translation: "I will die alone because I think my pointless job is somehow important. I was given good advice and ignored it because I'm an idiot."

Great stuff here:

Quote:

“One Russian husband yelled at his wife, ‘All you American females yapping about liberation, always in a rush – you look as if you came off the garbage heap!’” she wrote.

Many Russians, Visson said, find American ladies bossy, brash, unkempt, and overly concerned with female equality. “They think Russian women are much more attractive and feminine,” she told The Moscow News.

[Icarus]

Nothing new under the Sun From an old June 1997 article on The eXile:

Quote:

Other people have a different, darker theory on why there is so little romantic interaction between eXpat women and Russian guys. "Physically, they aren't attracted to each other," suggested Doug Steele, owner of the Hungry Duck. "The Asiatic features of Russians go much better on women than on men. And Russian men think that their women are simply prettier than the Western women."

Personality-wise, Russians say they find eXpat women to be too aggressive and masculine, while eXpat women find the Russian men to be rude, bossy and macho.

And as for that certain something, that je ne sais quoi, the "natural" look so popular with Western women is a flop in Russia, and cannot compete with the lipstick-smeared blowjob mugs in fashion with Russian girls.

So eXpat women are stuck between a rock and a hard place. The men-expats and locals alike-prefer Russian girls. Expat women resort to lowering their standards. In the absence of the possibility of finding Mr. Right, they succumb to one-night stands with Mr. Wrong. And that's only on a good night.

[Architekt]

Quote:

And as for that certain something, that je ne sais quoi, the "natural" look so popular with Western women is a flop in Russia, and cannot compete with the lipstick-smeared blowjob mugs in fashion with Russian girls that actually take care of their appearance.

[Veloce]

It goes to show the set-in-stone stupidity and outrageously inflated ego of Western women that they would rather lower their standards and have a ONS with a loser than ever look in the mirror and seek to improve themselves.

[speakeasy]

Russia is the feminist's Waterloo. It's my fantasy to send women like Lindsay West to Moscow and confine them there.

I recently signed up for okcupid for the hell of it. You can't find a girl that isn't yapping on about how career-oriented she is and how her 60 hour a week job in marketing is "just awesome!" I read this one girl's profile, think she was in her 30s, she was a transplant to LA from Wisconsin and said all her friends back home got married young and have kids. But she loves it in LA because she's so independent and focused on her education and career as opposed to all those dumb Midwestern girls who choose to have families while they are still actually fertile.

[Arado]

Russians regularly bash feminism here, that's not news.

But it doesn't mean the women are a piece of cake. ONS culture is less common here than in the US, and there's a large culture gap. I need to get my master Moscow data sheet out soon.

[Screwston]

Quote:

Janey Top-Kauffman · Russian Instructor at Utah Valley University

While living in Russia I had lots of Russian men that were interested in me. I think they found the laid back style of an American girlfriend refreshing. Russian men grow surrounded by strong women, so I never had a problem with any of these men being intimidated by my intellect and ambition. They were wonderful and chivalrous. But I did end up marrying an American.

Why are American girls so obsessed with their brains? They all think they're geniuses that could model on the side if they wanted to.

It's always nice to hear about delusional American women getting thrown out of their element in other countries

[Veloce]

(07-12-2013 12:03 PM)ao85 Wrote:  

Russians regularly bash feminism here, that's not news.

But it doesn't mean the women are a piece of cake. ONS culture is less common here than in the US, and there's a large culture gap. I need to get my master Moscow data sheet out soon.

I don't think anyone is claiming a piece of cake or begrudging the lack of ONS-culture. If anything, that adds to the appeal of Russian women.

[aphelion]

(07-12-2013 10:08 AM)Architekt Wrote:  

Quote:

And as for that certain something, that je ne sais quoi, the "natural" look so popular with Western women is a flop in Russia, and cannot compete with the lipstick-smeared blowjob mugs in fashion with Russian girls that actually take care of their appearance.

bingo, nice catch

[Bacchus]

That article put a smile on my face. Some more from it.

Quote:

Russian relationships are also notoriously adulterous, some experts say. Pamela Druckerman, an American author and journalist, traveled around the world to research rates of infidelity for her 2007 book “Lust in Translation: Infidelity from Tokyo to Tennessee.” She found startling results in Russia.

“A family psychologist whom I had intended to interview as an ‘expert’ boasted about her own extramarital relationships,” Druckerman wrote. “[She] insisted that, given Russia’s endemic alcoholism, violent crime, and tiny apartments, affairs are ‘obligatory.’ With the exception of a pastor (who was sitting with his wife at the time), I didn’t meet a single married man in Russia who admitted to being monogamous

Quote:

Rhea Skryabina, one of the 228 foreign women to marry a Russian man in Moscow last year, said that remaining open-minded about romance and culture is essential.

“It’s good to steer away from generalizations and get to know people as individuals,” she told The Moscow News. “The [foreign] women I know in committed relationships with Russian men all met them in very different ways.”

She met her own husband, a dance instructor and former street performer on the Arbat, while he was dancing on the street.

In Russia, Western women are of such low value that they are on par with someone who dances for change on the streets.

[Arado]

(07-12-2013 03:54 PM)thedude3737 Wrote:  

(07-12-2013 12:03 PM)ao85 Wrote:  

Russians regularly bash feminism here, that's not news.

But it doesn't mean the women are a piece of cake. ONS culture is less common here than in the US, and there's a large culture gap. I need to get my master Moscow data sheet out soon.

I don't think anyone is claiming a piece of cake or begrudging the lack of ONS-culture. If anything, that adds to the appeal of Russian women.

You are right, just want people to realize that they're going to have to work at it. And it's a slog!

[CJ_W]

(07-12-2013 07:55 AM)crippler Wrote:  

Many Russians, Visson said, find American ladies bossy, brash, unkempt, and overly concerned with female equality. “They think Russian women are much more attractive and feminine,” she told The Moscow News.

[/quote]

Gaaaawwwwwd Damn!

that's a burn. . .I guess there's a reason why Italy has the fastest shrinking population of any country on the planet.

[DarkTriad]

"On a blazing summer afternoon in Moscow, Stefania, an Italian professional in her early 30s, manages to look picture-perfect. In a belted tangerine dress, with an impeccable manicure and glossy hair, she fits right in to a local culture that celebrates ultra-feminine style. “You have to dress bright, like a traffic light – high heels, short skirts, hair, nails – to attract men’s attention,”

Limited attention to what guys actually care about - youth, looks, and her body type. Hair and nails are pretty much afterthoughts compared to a slim waistline.

[Architekt]

(07-14-2013 03:53 PM)DarkTriad Wrote:  

"On a blazing summer afternoon in Moscow, Stefania, an Italian professional in her early 30s, manages to look picture-perfect. In a belted tangerine dress, with an impeccable manicure and glossy hair, she fits right in to a local culture that celebrates ultra-feminine style. “You have to dress bright, like a traffic light – high heels, short skirts, hair, nails – to attract men’s attention,”

Limited attention to what guys actually care about - youth, looks, and her body type. Hair and nails are pretty much afterthoughts compared to a slim waistline.

I quite like a woman to have nice hair. Waking up on a pillow that smells like flowers is a godsend when you have a hangover