[duedue]

Here I air some of my feelings and ask for advice and I hope you guys won't think I'm whining or "trolling".

In game there is an emphasis on not being needy or clingy but I've become so "unneedy" that I don't care much about interacting with women (and even men) anymore. One reason for this is frequent moving from a place/country to another. In the few months that I've joined the forum I've moved once and will be moving again in a few more months.

Another reason is women's blatant behavior. For example a few weeks before moving here I sent an email to the secretary here to ask a question about my contract. I didn't get a response so I called her office, she said I had to call the head of the department and then hanged up on me! How graceful! As another example on my second day here I got lost in the city and asked a girl (in a serious tone and without making much eye contact) if she knew where such street was. The way she said no (her facial expression) was like I had asked her where I could find a sexshop to buy a menstrual sex porn movie. (Later I found out that the street in question was just one block away.) I don't think it's my ego which is the problem, it's that I'm tired of receiving negative feedback from the environment.

So I've more or less become like a robot.

[Travesty]

This is what close friends and family are for.

They recharge you from dealing with strangers by deeply and genuinely socializing with you.

Make a new friend in your new place or go visit one for a week.

[h3ltrsk3ltr]

Hell, I was wondering what they were for. Thanks.

[Virtus]

If you run into an asshole in the morning, you ran into an asshole. If you run into assholes all day, you're the asshole.

you only have two data points, so any graph from them is a straight line. but if women generally react poorly to you then check your subcoms, hygiene and appearance first

[duedue]

(08-15-2014 11:13 PM)calihunter Wrote:  

If you run into an asshole in the morning, you ran into an asshole. If you run into assholes all day, you're the asshole.

you only have two data points, so any graph from them is a straight line. but if women generally react poorly to you then check your subcoms, hygiene and appearance first

No, not everyday. At most once a week. I think you are right about subcommunications although it's difficult for me to analyze. I have a few different physical problems which make me feel tired and sleepy for the majority of time. So I may look tired and so grumpy and also the tire reflects in my voice.

[JayJuanGee]

(08-15-2014 02:01 PM)duedue Wrote:  

Here I air some of my feelings and ask for advice and I hope you guys won't think I'm whining or "trolling".

In game there is an emphasis on not being needy or clingy but I've become so "unneedy" that I don't care much about interacting with women (and even men) anymore. One reason for this is frequent moving from a place/country to another. In the few months that I've joined the forum I've moved once and will be moving again in a few more months.

Another reason is women's blatant behavior. For example a few weeks before moving here I sent an email to the secretary here to ask a question about my contract. I didn't get a response so I called her office, she said I had to call the head of the department and then hanged up on me! How graceful! As another example on my second day here I got lost in the city and asked a girl (in a serious tone and without making much eye contact) if she knew where such street was. The way she said no (her facial expression) was like I had asked her where I could find a sexshop to buy a menstrual sex porn movie. (Later I found out that the street in question was just one block away.) I don't think it's my ego which is the problem, it's that I'm tired of receiving negative feedback from the environment.

So I've more or less become like a robot.

I am having a difficult time even mustering a response to what seems to be utter NONSENSE, here. Are these the kinds of "feelings" that legit new RVF members are feeling that they need to communicate and to create NEW threads over?

Have you read through other threads - or do you merely want to create your own threads? Your other threads look kind of silly, too. And, the pattern appears that you may be engaging in this conduct on purpose to make fun of guys.... by spreading doodoo, wait?

How old are you? Where are you? Why are you moving on a frequent basis, for work? Are you moving within the same country or to different countries? Don't you get excited about changing environments? Don't you have any sense of control and direction over your life?

[duedue]

(08-16-2014 01:50 PM)JayJuanGee Wrote:  

(08-15-2014 02:01 PM)duedue Wrote:  

Here I air some of my feelings and ask for advice and I hope you guys won't think I'm whining or "trolling".

In game there is an emphasis on not being needy or clingy but I've become so "unneedy" that I don't care much about interacting with women (and even men) anymore. One reason for this is frequent moving from a place/country to another. In the few months that I've joined the forum I've moved once and will be moving again in a few more months.

Another reason is women's blatant behavior. For example a few weeks before moving here I sent an email to the secretary here to ask a question about my contract. I didn't get a response so I called her office, she said I had to call the head of the department and then hanged up on me! How graceful! As another example on my second day here I got lost in the city and asked a girl (in a serious tone and without making much eye contact) if she knew where such street was. The way she said no (her facial expression) was like I had asked her where I could find a sexshop to buy a menstrual sex porn movie. (Later I found out that the street in question was just one block away.) I don't think it's my ego which is the problem, it's that I'm tired of receiving negative feedback from the environment.

So I've more or less become like a robot.

I am having a difficult time even mustering a response to what seems to be utter NONSENSE, here. Are these the kinds of "feelings" that legit new RVF members are feeling that they need to communicate and to create NEW threads over?

Have you read through other threads - or do you merely want to create your own threads? Your other threads look kind of silly, too. And, the pattern appears that you may be engaging in this conduct on purpose to make fun of guys.... by spreading doodoo, wait?

How old are you? Where are you? Why are you moving on a frequent basis, for work? Are you moving within the same country or to different countries? Don't you get excited about changing environments? Don't you have any sense of control and direction over your life?

Thanks for your kind words. I don't understand how I'm making fun of guys, maybe I'm making fun of myself. I'm in my early 30s, you can see in my avatar (or my ip address) where I am now. I used to get excited about changing environment/country but not anymore (after doing it several times). And no at this time I don't have much of a sense of control or direction for various reasons one of them being overspecialization.

[JayJuanGee]

(08-16-2014 02:13 PM)duedue Wrote:  

(08-16-2014 01:50 PM)JayJuanGee Wrote:  

(08-15-2014 02:01 PM)duedue Wrote:  

Here I air some of my feelings and ask for advice and I hope you guys won't think I'm whining or "trolling".

In game there is an emphasis on not being needy or clingy but I've become so "unneedy" that I don't care much about interacting with women (and even men) anymore. One reason for this is frequent moving from a place/country to another. In the few months that I've joined the forum I've moved once and will be moving again in a few more months.

Another reason is women's blatant behavior. For example a few weeks before moving here I sent an email to the secretary here to ask a question about my contract. I didn't get a response so I called her office, she said I had to call the head of the department and then hanged up on me! How graceful! As another example on my second day here I got lost in the city and asked a girl (in a serious tone and without making much eye contact) if she knew where such street was. The way she said no (her facial expression) was like I had asked her where I could find a sexshop to buy a menstrual sex porn movie. (Later I found out that the street in question was just one block away.) I don't think it's my ego which is the problem, it's that I'm tired of receiving negative feedback from the environment.

So I've more or less become like a robot.

I am having a difficult time even mustering a response to what seems to be utter NONSENSE, here. Are these the kinds of "feelings" that legit new RVF members are feeling that they need to communicate and to create NEW threads over?

Have you read through other threads - or do you merely want to create your own threads? Your other threads look kind of silly, too. And, the pattern appears that you may be engaging in this conduct on purpose to make fun of guys.... by spreading doodoo, wait?

How old are you? Where are you? Why are you moving on a frequent basis, for work? Are you moving within the same country or to different countries? Don't you get excited about changing environments? Don't you have any sense of control and direction over your life?

Thanks for your kind words. I don't understand how I'm making fun of guys, maybe I'm making fun of myself. I'm in my early 30s, you can see in my avatar (or my ip address) where I am now. I used to get excited about changing environment/country but not anymore (after doing it several times). And no at this time I don't have much of a sense of control or direction for various reasons one of them being overspecialization.

As you should have recognized, my words were NOT very "kind", even though you characterized them as such, because your post caused me to think.. what the fuck? Guys are going through this kind of thing?

That is why I asked you several questions in order to figure out if you have seriously thought through what you are saying and how it may or may NOT apply to the situation(s) of other guys who participate in this forum.

If you are stuck in what you seem to perceive as a dead-end job that you do NOT like (because you are overly specialized), then what is your plan for the future.. short-term, medium-term, long-term? To stay in the job? How many hours a week do you work? If your situation is NOT bringing you satisfaction, then are you considering some kind of plan.

Likely people are NOT going to treat you nice or be respectful of you if you seem to be down on yourself and you do NOT project yourself as content with your situation. Actually, you do NOT have to be completely content with your situation to attempt to project yourself in such a way in order that people speak with you in a way that is complimentary rather than shrugging you off, which seems to be the situation that you had described in your OP.

[JoyStick]

I don't see how your examples make you aloof. It's just sounds more like you're not very charming.

(08-15-2014 02:01 PM)duedue Wrote:  

As another example on my second day here I got lost in the city and asked a girl (in a serious tone and without making much eye contact) if she knew where such street was. The way she said no (her facial expression) was like I had asked her where I could find a sexshop to buy a menstrual sex porn movie. (Later I found out that the street in question was just one block away.)

What's a serious tone? like a loud, firm, demanding tone? and why weren't you making eye contact?

(08-16-2014 02:27 PM)JayJuanGee Wrote:  

If you are stuck in what you seem to perceive as a dead-end job that you do NOT like (because you are overly specialized), then what is your plan for the future.. short-term, medium-term, long-term? To stay in the job? How many hours a week do you work? If your situation is NOT bringing you satisfaction, then are you considering some kind of plan.

This is pure fucking gold. Thanks, I needed to read that!

[JayJuanGee]

(08-16-2014 03:09 PM)JoyStick Wrote:  

What's a serious tone? like a loud, firm, demanding tone? and why weren't you making eye contact?

FUCK!!!!!! Don't you get it JoyStick? Being "aloof" means that you do NOT make eye contact.

And, a "serious tone" is like you know like showing like, but without words, like: "you better take me seriously." You know, like that?

O.k... enough for the fun. We can await a clarification from Duedue.

[iknowexactly]

OP-- maybe you're being moved too much for work? We're not really designed to be uprooted all the time .

[Catch 22]

(08-15-2014 11:13 PM)calihunter Wrote:  

If you run into an asshole in the morning, you ran into an asshole. If you run into assholes all day, you're the asshole.

you only have two data points, so any graph from them is a straight line. but if women generally react poorly to you then check your subcoms, hygiene and appearance first

Or you're in DC.

It's probably become circular. You're putting out an asshole vibe because you're expecting asshole responses, which brings more asshole responses. Go back to basics if you have to. It's tough to respond rudely to, "Hi, pleasant weather today," for example. Then you'll see that not everybody's an asshole.

Unless you're in DC...

[JayJuanGee]

(08-16-2014 04:06 PM)Catch 22 Wrote:  

(08-15-2014 11:13 PM)calihunter Wrote:  

If you run into an asshole in the morning, you ran into an asshole. If you run into assholes all day, you're the asshole.

you only have two data points, so any graph from them is a straight line. but if women generally react poorly to you then check your subcoms, hygiene and appearance first

Or you're in DC.

It's probably become circular. You're putting out an asshole vibe because you're expecting asshole responses, which brings more asshole responses. Go back to basics if you have to. It's tough to respond rudely to, "Hi, pleasant weather today," for example. Then you'll see that not everybody's an asshole.

Unless you're in DC...

S/he has already said that s/he is in Denmark in his/her own obscure way.

By the way, I use the gender neutral typing because I am having some doubts as to the gender of Duedue.. yet, s/he may be able to clarify that if s/he will make some further explanations regarding how guys supposedly get into these kinds of situations in which s/he describes. I am striving to give the benefit of the doubt to Duedue, but I am having a few difficulties here.

[JoyStick]

Duedue, I believe the answers you're looking for are all available at the following link.


http://www.amazon.com/Dont-Bang-Denmark-...1466480823

[duedue]

(08-16-2014 02:27 PM)JayJuanGee Wrote:  

(08-16-2014 02:13 PM)duedue Wrote:  

(08-16-2014 01:50 PM)JayJuanGee Wrote:  

(08-15-2014 02:01 PM)duedue Wrote:  

Here I air some of my feelings and ask for advice and I hope you guys won't think I'm whining or "trolling".

In game there is an emphasis on not being needy or clingy but I've become so "unneedy" that I don't care much about interacting with women (and even men) anymore. One reason for this is frequent moving from a place/country to another. In the few months that I've joined the forum I've moved once and will be moving again in a few more months.

Another reason is women's blatant behavior. For example a few weeks before moving here I sent an email to the secretary here to ask a question about my contract. I didn't get a response so I called her office, she said I had to call the head of the department and then hanged up on me! How graceful! As another example on my second day here I got lost in the city and asked a girl (in a serious tone and without making much eye contact) if she knew where such street was. The way she said no (her facial expression) was like I had asked her where I could find a sexshop to buy a menstrual sex porn movie. (Later I found out that the street in question was just one block away.) I don't think it's my ego which is the problem, it's that I'm tired of receiving negative feedback from the environment.

So I've more or less become like a robot.

I am having a difficult time even mustering a response to what seems to be utter NONSENSE, here. Are these the kinds of "feelings" that legit new RVF members are feeling that they need to communicate and to create NEW threads over?

Have you read through other threads - or do you merely want to create your own threads? Your other threads look kind of silly, too. And, the pattern appears that you may be engaging in this conduct on purpose to make fun of guys.... by spreading doodoo, wait?

How old are you? Where are you? Why are you moving on a frequent basis, for work? Are you moving within the same country or to different countries? Don't you get excited about changing environments? Don't you have any sense of control and direction over your life?

Thanks for your kind words. I don't understand how I'm making fun of guys, maybe I'm making fun of myself. I'm in my early 30s, you can see in my avatar (or my ip address) where I am now. I used to get excited about changing environment/country but not anymore (after doing it several times). And no at this time I don't have much of a sense of control or direction for various reasons one of them being overspecialization.

As you should have recognized, my words were NOT very "kind", even though you characterized them as such, because your post caused me to think.. what the fuck? Guys are going through this kind of thing?

That is why I asked you several questions in order to figure out if you have seriously thought through what you are saying and how it may or may NOT apply to the situation(s) of other guys who participate in this forum.

If you are stuck in what you seem to perceive as a dead-end job that you do NOT like (because you are overly specialized), then what is your plan for the future.. short-term, medium-term, long-term? To stay in the job? How many hours a week do you work? If your situation is NOT bringing you satisfaction, then are you considering some kind of plan.

Likely people are NOT going to treat you nice or be respectful of you if you seem to be down on yourself and you do NOT project yourself as content with your situation. Actually, you do NOT have to be completely content with your situation to attempt to project yourself in such a way in order that people speak with you in a way that is complimentary rather than shrugging you off, which seems to be the situation that you had described in your OP.

I was being sarcastic with "kind words"!
"Guys are going through this kind of thing?" Yeah, there are guys who've screwed up their lives. I'm a quintessential nerd with a PhD degree in a pure science field and finding an academic job in such a field is much more difficult than you may think espacially after the financial crisis. It requires moving around several times for short term jobs. Although it's not just the System, I myself have not been vigorous enough in my work. But now I'm moving to a more applied field which receives more funding (and that's with the help of an aquaintance who is on top of the "food chain"). Hopefully this can help me get back on track.

I know I was a wuss by complaining like in the first post. Now a few weeks after moving and after visiting some of my old friends in another town I feel good.

[BarryInSF]

(09-04-2014 04:25 AM)duedue Wrote:  

I know I was a wuss by complaining like in the first post. Now a few weeks after moving and after visiting some of my old friends in another town I feel good.

Now get back out there! (And report back.)

[JayJuanGee]

(09-04-2014 01:20 PM)BarryInSF Wrote:  

(09-04-2014 04:25 AM)duedue Wrote:  

I know I was a wuss by complaining like in the first post. Now a few weeks after moving and after visiting some of my old friends in another town I feel good.

Now get back out there! (And report back.)

Yep... probably it would be good to hear about the extent to which duedue adjusted his techniques and his interactions and even considered his various life plans (whether short, medium or long term), because duedue had communicated a pretty sad set of affairs that seemed to in part stem from his own lack of any kind of decent plan. In my experience and thinking, these kinds of lack of plan(s) or direction do NOT just resolve themselves with the passage of time but frequently become worse and have various negative periods.

So I agree with BarryInSF that it would be good to get some kind of follow up report from duedue...

[XXL]

No dude, you're just passive and that's all. You don't look people in the eye talking to them and you let someone's bad day affect you to the point of becoming sad. Wake up from that haze and take responsibility for your own happiness. Wow, how deep

[JayJuanGee]

(09-05-2014 12:57 PM)XXL Wrote:  

No dude, you're just passive and that's all. You don't look people in the eye talking to them and you let someone's bad day affect you to the point of becoming sad. Wake up from that haze and take responsibility for your own happiness. Wow, how deep

I agree with you XXL, yet if what you are saying is true (and Duedue is NOT trolling us), then those are personality traits that he can work on to improve and to improve his interactions. Maybe he can just start with one or two behaviors at a time? For example, have a goal to say nice things to people or to be positive or to have a goal to look people in the eye when speaking with them (but don't look them too much in the eye that they begin to believe that you are some kind of a stalker).

I know that I have had periods in my life where I have become somewhat self-absorbed and then when you take this self-absorption to your interactions with people, then there is a sort of snowballing of further negative effects that seem to keep building on each other (and may even just seem like a string of bad luck).

Anyhow, part of my point is that attempts can be made to fix some of these personal interaction behaviors.... and accordingly a plan can be made, too and even an attempt to measure whether progress is taking place... but NOT to get too caught up upon if a guy does NOT see immediate progress because sometimes it may take a little time to reverse the damages that have already been done.

[OnlyMarryInTajikistan]

1. Don't ask women for directions or interact with them in any way (except when necessary in the workplace) if you are not unambiguously hitting on them. They always think you are interested in them, no matter the context. Don't even make eye-contract if you don't plan on opening.

2. There is no such thing as too aloof as long as you are moving things forward within a set. If you have no intention of getting with a girl, you really shouldn't give a fuck about her in any way whatsoever. As far as you are concerned, she doesn't even exist.

Say you meet a girl in the workplace. Just ignore her completely outside of professional activities. She doesn't exist, only the women you open with the intention of fucking exist. Your life will be significantly easier if you compartmentalize this way, you will have a lot less weather in your head about this girl or that girl and it will be easier to focus on the ones you want.

[JayJuanGee]

(09-05-2014 02:45 PM)OnlyMarryInTajikistan Wrote:  

1. Don't ask women for directions or interact with them in any way (except when necessary in the workplace) if you are not unambiguously hitting on them. They always think you are interested in them, no matter the context. Don't even make eye-contract if you don't plan on opening.

2. There is no such thing as too aloof as long as you are moving things forward within a set. If you have no intention of getting with a girl, you really shouldn't give a fuck about her in any way whatsoever. As far as you are concerned, she doesn't even exist.

Say you meet a girl in the workplace. Just ignore her completely outside of professional activities. She doesn't exist, only the women you open with the intention of fucking exist. Your life will be significantly easier if you compartmentalize this way, you will have a lot less weather in your head about this girl or that girl and it will be easier to focus on the ones you want.

I will give you the benefit of the doubt that you may have some decent points that could work for some guys (though it seems a bit too socially removed and psychopathic for my tastes.. but to each his own); however, did you even read this thread and the issues that Duedue seems to have?

Your suggested course of action does NOT seem to fit very well for Duedue's description of his situation, and likely, if he followed your suggested course of action, his negative social interactions are going to become worse rather than better.

[OnlyMarryInTajikistan]

(09-05-2014 03:17 PM)JayJuanGee Wrote:  

(09-05-2014 02:45 PM)OnlyMarryInTajikistan Wrote:  

1. Don't ask women for directions or interact with them in any way (except when necessary in the workplace) if you are not unambiguously hitting on them. They always think you are interested in them, no matter the context. Don't even make eye-contract if you don't plan on opening.

2. There is no such thing as too aloof as long as you are moving things forward within a set. If you have no intention of getting with a girl, you really shouldn't give a fuck about her in any way whatsoever. As far as you are concerned, she doesn't even exist.

Say you meet a girl in the workplace. Just ignore her completely outside of professional activities. She doesn't exist, only the women you open with the intention of fucking exist. Your life will be significantly easier if you compartmentalize this way, you will have a lot less weather in your head about this girl or that girl and it will be easier to focus on the ones you want.

I will give you the benefit of the doubt that you may have some decent points that could work for some guys (though it seems a bit too socially removed and psychopathic for my tastes.. but to each his own); however, did you even read this thread and the issues that Duedue seems to have?

Your suggested course of action does NOT seem to fit very well for Duedue's description of his situation, and likely, if he followed your suggested course of action, his negative social interactions are going to become worse rather than better.

Your advice is adequate aswell. The poster will do what is most fitted to his personality.