[LEMONed IScream]

I've dated a chinese girl over here, and I got stares of death coming from asian tourists, as if I had drowned their kid or something like that. Surreal.

[LEMONed IScream]

So, from what I read here, seems as if the past actions of some foreigners led to a certain "loss of reputation" that is still today channelled into new foreigners that go to the country, making it harder in general? It does make sense, especially in these specific societies. The notion that it was a lot easier before, I've pretty much seen everywhere, it seems unanimous.
Well, it just makes the climb a bit harder , nothing to worry about, heck, from the country I'm in, it won't feel like much a difference, only in this case I have much higher odds of being sexually attracted to them and therefore more motivated.

[Sargon of Akkad]

Quote:

I've dated a chinese girl over here, and I got stares of death coming from asian tourists, as if I had drowned their kid or something like that. Surreal.

In China and Japan, this is not common. Considering all the Chinese/Asian girls I hooked up with in China, as well as been seen with or made/out with in Japan or elsewhere, I have never recieved anything resembling resentment from anyone else. I can't say how it is in Korea.

[LEMONed IScream]

Oh it was right here in Europe though. And they weren't living here, they were clearly tourists, it was a mix between shock and something else I could not quite grasp. But the chinese living here didn't really say anything (maybe due to that losing face thing). I've read some forum members here saying they got looks in Korea and people shouting at the girls with them. Ah well.

(12-11-2013 07:46 AM)Sargon of Akkad Wrote:  

Quote:

I've dated a chinese girl over here, and I got stares of death coming from asian tourists, as if I had drowned their kid or something like that. Surreal.

In China and Japan, this is not common. Considering all the Chinese/Asian girls I hooked up with in China, as well as been seen with or made/out with in Japan or elsewhere, I have never recieved anything resembling resentment from anyone else. I can't say how it is in Korea.

[Sargon of Akkad]

That may have been anomaly. None of the people I knew in or from China gave a crap if I or anyone else dated with the local women. S. Korea may be different, though.

[LEMONed IScream]

As for the rest of the chinese living here, well nothing too weird I suppose. But some families aren't too find of mixed marriages though.

I have a chinese shop nearby and when I go there and flirt with the daughters, the mother laughs and the father gets pissed off, normal parental behaviour I suppose

[Global_Cocksman]

For the record, I did see white guys with Japanese women in Tokyo. I saw a white guy pull from the Hub. And I saw another creepy, balding scrawny white guy pull a Japanese woman from an international party I went to. I wish I could have asked him how he did it, because that was amazing.

When I was walking around, I got a lot of stares from Japanese women. I remember walking near Shibuya Crossing one night, and out of the corner of my eye I saw a J woman staring at me. We looked at each other for a good 5 or so seconds until I broke EC, and she was gone.

I went into a Tsutaya and hit on a girl looking at the DVD section. She tried to ask me in her horrible English where I was from and other things. She was smiling and stroking her hair, and didn't leave. I told her we should bounce together to a cafe, but she shook her head no, so I settled for an email. It ended up flaking. Maybe I wasn't persistent enough, or maybe she really didn't like me.

That seems to be the main problem with Japan. Flakiness and tatemae. You never know where you stand with them, or if you're getting genuine IOIs. I don't even know if I WAS getting IOIs, or if they were just being curious and friendly.

[Sargon of Akkad]

(12-11-2013 11:06 AM)Global_Cocksman Wrote:  

For the record, I did see white guys with Japanese women in Tokyo. I saw a white guy pull from the Hub. And I saw another creepy, balding scrawny white guy pull a Japanese woman from an international party I went to. I wish I could have asked him how he did it, because that was amazing.

Certainly. It's definitely not terribly uncommon to see White guys with local girls. I don't want people looking at this thread to get the oppinion that "Japanese girls hate White guys" or anything like that. The only thing is that some of us -- whether White, Black, Indian or Asian foreigner -- can run into greater challenges here than back home for whichever reason.

Quote:

That seems to be the main problem with Japan. Flakiness and tatemae. You never know where you stand with them, or if you're getting genuine IOIs. I don't even know if I WAS getting IOIs, or if they were just being curious and friendly.

That is probably one of the main challenges. However, I'm still convinced there's hope.

Recently, I seem to have been making some progress, and I may have learned a few things, some of which kind of echo what has been said here by other members who've been here longer (to an extent).

[LEMONed IScream]

I suppose the greater challenges part does depend on your original country, I am from a traditionally difficult place so I'm not sure how much I'll be affected. Suppose it's probably more effective to date japs outside of Japan than in Japan itself. Same thing for Koreans maybe.

[Bushido]

(12-11-2013 07:46 AM)Sargon of Akkad Wrote:  

Quote:

I've dated a chinese girl over here, and I got stares of death coming from asian tourists, as if I had drowned their kid or something like that. Surreal.

In China and Japan, this is not common. Considering all the Chinese/Asian girls I hooked up with in China, as well as been seen with or made/out with in Japan or elsewhere, I have never recieved anything resembling resentment from anyone else.

No offense but you aren't doing it right if you never got resentment from Japanese guys in Japan. It's ridiculously common. I get cockblock attempts on a regular basis (like people coming up in the street and telling me to stop). I sometimes get looks of hatred during dates. But it depends. Basically, if the girl is hot then people will hate on you.

Japanese guys and even the staff in bars (!) can be absolute cunts when things are going well with a HOT Japanese girl. That is the difference. If they don't consider her to be that cute then sure, they will ignore you. But they will act like jealous little kids if they think you actually have a chance with a hottie.

Recently I was talking to a hostess girl in a club. She was enjoying herself and offering me some of her drink and the fucking bartender came over to our table and started asking her "Are you OK?" and shit like that before trying to chat with her with his back to me. Sometimes it's subtle cockblocking like this, sometimes less so.

Another example: A year or two back I was talking to a really cute, solid 9 in a quieter bar. One of the bartenders actually barged into me and then said to the girl that there wasn't enough space at the counter so this guy (me) needs to move down to make space. Of course, he assumed I couldn't understand what he said. I told him to fuck off. Pure beta jealousy. There are so many examples but I have forgotten most of them. You live here so you have to play in their environment and make the best of it without turning bitter.

Everything is cool with J-guys until you get a girl that is considered "hot" by Japanese guys (not just by foreigners). Even "friends" will turn into little shits and undermine you. It's not even conscious but more of an automatic reflex I guess. For this reason I have stopped bringing girls to social functions where my J-guy friends are at. They just can't handle it.

[Sargon of Akkad]

Dreambig, could you explain what you mean by "hot"? Are we talking model looks or just decent looking to reasonably attractive?

I can believe you about foreigners being seen together with 9s, but I really can't recall getting any negative reactions when with girls who were just "cute" or "slightly above average", other than a few occasions where I got wierd looks when chatting up girls at a trainstation. Usually, if she's anything below model-status, I don't notice anything resembling people actively trying to separate us the way you described. Either way, girl really doesn't need to be model material for me to want to sleep with her (otherwise I would've gotten laid a lot less even outside Japan). Could it be that this phenomenon is simiply more common in Tokyo?

[Bushido]

No hard and fast rule here. Of course it doesnt happen every time but I have had this happen to me and observed it with friends too. If I was generalising I would say that those girls that are "popular" or young-looking generate more of the looks of hate. Add a school uniform and multiply those looks by 5.

Foreigners (not directed at you) tend to like the plainer (you know what I mean) tall girls so you get a pass on those. The problem for me is that I've been here for long enough for my tastes to be very close to the J-guys and dislike most of the groupie types.

Anyway, start to get somewhere with a petite, fashionable Shibuya chick and guys notice. I think it's a combination of unconscious racial guarding and "What? Even a foreigner can talk to her without bring blown out? She must be easy! Let me try!"

Basically, if you stay here long enough it WILL happen. Just be prepared.

[Skotch]

Yeah, I've been cockblocked a shitload too. It's made me bitter toward Japanese guys. It's just fucking gay. Though to be fair, I've seen Japanese guys blow each other out too.

[memcpy]

I agree with all the cockblocking, but I do nanpa with a japanese guy and he actually brings girls over to me and tries to set us up. So he is pretty cool. I'm learning alot of things about street game from him, he also speaks english so he gets to become better at english while showing me some things.

Just gotta pick your friends carefully.

[LEMONed IScream]

I do love Japan but I'm also quite big concerning money and other stuff, I like being able to save now and then, in terms of jobs, what would you guys highlight as being more adequate to a medium/long term stay. It's something I would really like to do one day. To go all over Japan and just get to know the place..and the ladies

[BadWolf]

jesus christ, why don't you guys just go down to Bangkok for a few weeks.

[LEMONed IScream]

Well, Pinays and Thais are not that bad. The countries are also quite OK and with lots of stuff to visit. Considering what I've read here about japs compared to thais and pinays the latter two would probably be much easier.

But Japs...are Japs !

(12-19-2013 06:49 PM)BadWolf Wrote:  

jesus christ, why don't you guys just go down to Bangkok for a few weeks.

[memcpy]

(12-19-2013 06:49 PM)BadWolf Wrote:  

jesus christ, why don't you guys just go down to Bangkok for a few weeks.

Nah.

[Mentavious]

I was looking to go to Japan back in 2009-2010 and the exchange rate was 75 yen to about $1

Now it's 103 to $1

I'm hoping next year around this time it will be even better.

[Fortitudinal]

(12-19-2013 06:49 PM)BadWolf Wrote:  

jesus christ, why don't you guys just go down to Bangkok for a few weeks.

Seriously considering this. Cheap flights to KL for $60 on Air Asia. Cant be that expensive to get there, and stay. Probably cheaper than staying in JP anyway!

Damn, I fear that I might never want to leave. Knowing poor impulse control and a taste for nightlife I seriously think Id party myself to death there.

[Sargon of Akkad]

Skip to 01:08

[LeightonBlackstock]

Good job man, nice flag

[Sargon of Akkad]

What follows is a quick elaboration on the last post...

I was scheduled to meet up with a Japanese girl for a second date on Saturday. She calls that night and flakes (work, can't make it). Odd, since she was the one who contacted me suggesting we meet up that day.

I'm thinking the only realistic way to get another notch is to go for a one night stand, so I opted to head over to Bar One on the 28th. There, I was a amittedly bit lazy with the approaches, partially because Bar One has such a regular clientelle, I realized most of the girls in my immediate vicinity I had already approached and been rejected by on about two or three separate occasions anyway. Those that haven't have guys grinding on them already...or they're fatties. There's a cute 7ish, maybe low 8 Japanese girl at the bar next to me, so I start bullshitting with her. The bartender leans over and says. "Sorry, dude, that's my girlfriend."

Go over to the dancefloor and a Philippina (about 6-ish) approaches me and we start grinding and making out a about 5-10 minutes. After a while she says "I'm going to the bathroom," to which I think "either that's code for 'fuck off' or she's really gotta pee." I decide to wait a bit and see. After about 8 minutes, I decide she's bailed on me so I look elsewhere. On the dancefloor I pass a short, decent looking Southeast Asian chic.
"どこから?"
"Cambodia"
We start dancing and making out for a while, coincidentally, near the table where I spot the Philippina glaring at me. Awkward.

We sit down, and briefly finger her through stockings. She puts her hand somewhere just beside my junk. I suggest going back together after which see says something along the lines of "maybe later". Eventually, by about 3:30, we head to the lockers, grab our coats and wander outside looking for a cab. 7000 yen cab fair! God dammit, but what the hell.

Inside, we shower together. She meticulously washes my dick before giving me a blowjob. We step out. Dry off. Get under the sheets. It's been about half a year since my last notch, so I only last a few minutes. Switch over to doggy to last a bit longer. Off to sleep. In the morning repeat the same thing again. Cambodian flag captured. No shoring required.

Went for breakfast, where she was kind enough to pay for both of us, since I'd covered the cab fair last time, takes the train back to Wakayama.

This was an unexpected outcome. In the end, 2013 may not have been "saved", but was somewhat redeemed, nonetheless. I kept going and eventually came out on top (literally). Does this change my overall opinion of Osaka/Japan. Not much, but it was a nice victory.

A day later she texts me, saying had a good time, bla-bla. "Might decide to add her as a regular," I think to myself.

---------------

New Years Eve decided to head back to BarOne once again just to try my luck, if not have a good time. Though a bang would be statistically unlikely, makeouts are nonetheless fairly easy. Besides I was pumped up with confidence once again. And. Was. Massacred.

Sausagefest 2014. Tried counting how many guys I saw for every girl. Looking around could spot 6 girls. The guys I gave up counting after 30, and that was about half way through. Approached about 16 girls (maybe more). 5s, 6s, 7s, and a few 8s. Nada. Probably my performance could have been better. Was able to grind around with some Japanese, but no more. Passed the Philippina from before. Glares of death.

I'm thinking the Cambodian lives in Wakayama. No way she'll show up here of all places for -- ...Ooohh.
Damnit, aren't there any clubs in Wakayama? We kind of get out of each others' way. Few hours later, while I'm talking to some Dutch guy, she taps me on the shoulder, saying she's leaving.

I stay for the rest of the night, but after approaching 16-18 girls, I can't spot any that aren't either taken or whom I haven't approached already. No new faces coming in. I leave at 5:30. Maybe I should have stayed longer. The year got off to a rough start, but it can be improved.

That makes 5 girls for 2013 (not the best of years).

A Chinese student I hooked up with prior to Osaka.
A very sweet Korean I'd already hooked up with from the previous year.
A Japanese 39 year old.
A 23 year old Japanese housewife.
A Cambodian.

Not considering last night, at least the end of the year offered a nice boost. I'd never thought of Southeast Asians in Japan being an option, but maybe I should look more into it.

Right now, current prospects include a schoolgirl, a Chinese girl in Wakayama, another Chinese chic, and probably a few others (Japanese). Dates seem to be coming in more frequency and flakiness from the daytime seems to be going down, but I really need to save money and concentrate more on getting a job here, so I'll be doing a few less approaches. I also won't be posting every single girl I go up to, as that gets repetitive. Despite the setbacks, my overall experience in Japan this year has been fairly positive.

Either way, happy new year.

[w00t]

congrats man! how many approaches did you do last year?

[rekruler]

Thanks for this thread Sargon, it's probably my favorite on RVF. I like reading threads like those on THC and Fisto's escapades as much as the next man, but their level of success in SEA is on a completely different plane from what my life experience has been like at this point, so I can relate to your struggles a lot more.

One thing I've been curious about is your experience with Chinese girls outside of China. You've mentioned in passing that in both Germany and Japan you've used your Mandarin language skills and experience of living in China to strike up a rapport with these chicks. I've recently returned to the US after living in China for nearly a year and have basic conversational Mandarin, so I'd be really interested to hear how you personally have leveraged your Chinese "assets" with these girls. Do you approach them like "Hey, I'm Sargon and I can speak Chinese, hence I started talking with you cause you're Chinese" or do you open them in an arbitrary fashion and then throw in those facts later on in the interaction?