[cardguy]

Firstly - apologies for using the term 'betas' since it is much overused.

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So - I need to ask a question since I don't know enough betas or fathers well enough to get an answer.

You see - I occasionally hear it said that a guy can get jealous when his wife has kids.

At first it seems as if the man doesn't enjoy being shoved into second place when it comes to the woman's affections. And as a result gets jealous.

But - I wonder if it is because the guy starts to figure out that the main purpose he had for the woman was to get her pregnant. Indeed - he isn't so much a lover or partner. As simply a tool she uses to get the thing she really wants. And will really love - is. a baby.

I say this since it is amazing the utter contempt women seem to have of the partner/fathers in comparison to the outpouring of affection the woman has for the kid.

So - for those with more life experience than me. Do - you feel it is often the case that the beta's lack of worth to the woman only dawns on them when they see they first see this experience this difference first hand? Particularly since it is around this time that the wife will start turning off the sex tap as well.

And in conclusion - does is this dawning realisation often mistaken for jealousy by the woman?

Sorry for such a rambling question. But I would be interested if it sparks a response from others who have noticed similar 'awakenings' on the behalf of betas.

[WestIndianArchie]

Some guys actually want children.
Not because they were conned into it.

They don't feel any lack of worth, because their concept of worth isn't wrapped up in getting attention from a woman.

WIA

[bacon]

many guys in those situations frequently are viewed by the women in their lives as little more than "sperm donors" and "human wallets"

[Surreyman]

(02-28-2013 02:29 PM)WestIndianArchie Wrote:  

Some guys actually want children.
Not because they were conned into it.

They don't feel any lack of worth, because their concept of worth isn't wrapped up in getting attention from a woman.

WIA

There it is. That's 'beta' defined. All about looking to others for validation.

[Big Nilla]

I don't really understand your question, but I'm married and have 2 kids. I tell her and remind her often that the kids are #1 and she's #2... and she better see the kids as #1 or she's a bad mother. I can take care of myself, the kids can't. I have no jealousy towards the attention she gives the kids. She always wants sex too.

Seeing the guys that are married to her friends and experiencing our general culture, yeah, no doubt the majority of married guys are pathetic and don't exhibit much power in the relationship. I doubt her friends like me because I don't let my wife do whatever the fuck her friends want. Unlike their husbands, I limit her... and I also point out everything stupid her friends do or say. This kind of outcasts my wife from them which keeps them from being able to Americanize her (she was born in Colombian and most of her friends were born in Colombia or Mexico).

[Acute Angle]

It's been said before on here: Men love women, women love children, and children love furry animals.

As a beta who was in a LTR with a single mother who professed her undying, unconditional love for me, it took me a preposterously long time to realise that the kid would always come first and I was a distant second.

Now consider a man who is actually father to the child: He gains some status from that in the mother's eyes, but not enough to displace the child itself. His parentage and love for the child will often blind him to the sea-change in the marital relationship that occurred when the kid came along (i.e. his displacement). But eventually, when the novelty of new 'mini-us' wears off, he may well become jealous, yes. His only real role is to give the woman more of what she wants - more children perhaps, and the resources to raise them, as well as practical assistance. Many men will remain loyal because, after all, she is "the mother of my children."

I could be wrong, and I am probably jaundiced, but that's my take on it.

[cardguy]

Always best to avoid single moms. Shit gets real complicated real quickly.