Online dating in the US can ruin your confidence for an up and coming pua. The ratio is so out of wack. I've learned to stay away from it and any other newb or semi newb should as well IMO.
starting to hate gaming girls online...
So glad I never do the Online thing.
"Fart, and if you must, fart often. But always fart without apology. Fart for freedom, fart for liberty, and fart proudly" (Ben Franklin)
Online dating for most men is just a substitute for going out and approaching. These sites can be useful for pipelining girls when you travel to foreign countries or even as a way to increase your supply of (lower quality) local women but you cannot use them as a substitute for the real thing.
Here's the problem I have with online dating sites. Guys think they can message 30 girls with the same message and hope that five respond and one leads to a date. It's easy to sit at the computer and write up a profile or opener to some girl when you have unlimited time to work on it. So guys treat it like a senior thesis in school and work on their profiles for months, carefully refining it every day and updating their photos to show they are active and love the outdoors. The result is they have a more robust or better-written profile, but the reality (i.e. the facts) of online dating hasn't changed:
-The ratios are hugely in favor of women
-Women on these sites judge you primarily by your appearance/photos
-Unlike a bar, all men approach. In Poland, for example, the ratios can be bad in a pub or club but very few men approach. Online, you're literally one in a million. You're competing with every type of man out there, including the shyest nerd who has never opened a woman in public in his life, but will blast out 50 messages a day on Okcupid
-The women on these sites are given more attention than they would ever receive in public (a '6' is treated like an '8' and so on)
-Women almost always lie about their stats and post unrealistic pictures of themselves. Any guy who has scored multiple dates through an online dating has been through this situation time and again. "What the fuck, she didn't have a mushroom top in any of her photos."
The reality is that many guys are using online dating and getting ignored or straight up rejected by women who are 6's at best and it's destroying their confidence. Even worse, it's making them negative and hate women. This hatred begets more hatred and before you know it these guys are showing up at the Roosh V forum spewing this hatred and negativity. Hatred and negativity destroys your game. Seasoned pros like Roosh can separate his disdain for American women when he's approaching. Inexperienced guys can't. The frustration and negativity from online dating sites is toxic and destroys your game. Online dating sites give the woman the power and put you at a severe disadvantage. It's like giving the House a few extra points on a spread in their favor before throwing down your money on a bet. Why would do that?
There is no substitute for going out and approaching. Approaching is hard and it takes balls but it builds confidence and it leads to conversations (and eventually more) with attractive women. Women will still judge your appearance and looks, but you have many more weapons in your arsenal to quickly employ to overcome any of your weaknesses and capitalize on your strengths.
Here's the problem I have with online dating sites. Guys think they can message 30 girls with the same message and hope that five respond and one leads to a date. It's easy to sit at the computer and write up a profile or opener to some girl when you have unlimited time to work on it. So guys treat it like a senior thesis in school and work on their profiles for months, carefully refining it every day and updating their photos to show they are active and love the outdoors. The result is they have a more robust or better-written profile, but the reality (i.e. the facts) of online dating hasn't changed:
-The ratios are hugely in favor of women
-Women on these sites judge you primarily by your appearance/photos
-Unlike a bar, all men approach. In Poland, for example, the ratios can be bad in a pub or club but very few men approach. Online, you're literally one in a million. You're competing with every type of man out there, including the shyest nerd who has never opened a woman in public in his life, but will blast out 50 messages a day on Okcupid
-The women on these sites are given more attention than they would ever receive in public (a '6' is treated like an '8' and so on)
-Women almost always lie about their stats and post unrealistic pictures of themselves. Any guy who has scored multiple dates through an online dating has been through this situation time and again. "What the fuck, she didn't have a mushroom top in any of her photos."
The reality is that many guys are using online dating and getting ignored or straight up rejected by women who are 6's at best and it's destroying their confidence. Even worse, it's making them negative and hate women. This hatred begets more hatred and before you know it these guys are showing up at the Roosh V forum spewing this hatred and negativity. Hatred and negativity destroys your game. Seasoned pros like Roosh can separate his disdain for American women when he's approaching. Inexperienced guys can't. The frustration and negativity from online dating sites is toxic and destroys your game. Online dating sites give the woman the power and put you at a severe disadvantage. It's like giving the House a few extra points on a spread in their favor before throwing down your money on a bet. Why would do that?
There is no substitute for going out and approaching. Approaching is hard and it takes balls but it builds confidence and it leads to conversations (and eventually more) with attractive women. Women will still judge your appearance and looks, but you have many more weapons in your arsenal to quickly employ to overcome any of your weaknesses and capitalize on your strengths.
the one thing about online is the laundry list of demands by ugly girls. The one chick who was easily 200lbs was asking for a guy 6 ft or taller, in shape, not fat( she "has enough curves"), his own house, car, no kids.
Said she only fucked like 4 or 5 niggas so you know you gotta multiply by three
In Asia it works like a charm and actually yields higher quality than direct approaches. You just got to sift through the riffraff and focus on the top women who are more than excited to meet a foreigner.
The frustrations of online dating was what finally pushed me into approaching and Game in general. I had no problem getting dates but I could not close for the life of me. There is always a place for Online game but you need to learn the fundamentals first and nothing helps that better than cold approaching many women in the real world.
I think it depends on what your goals are....obviously if online dating is your main/only source of gaming on girls, that sucks. There's something really self-gratifying about gaming 3-4 girls at once online and getting good responses from all of them, thats something that is going to give you a lot of confidence going forward. However in all likelihood those same girls are chatting to 6-7 guys at the same time so keep that in mind.
Online dating to me when the girls get to like 25-30 especially in the US reeks of finding a husband/LTR. Thats who it is marketed towards, thats who you see in the advertisements, so in all likelihood thats a large % of the women you are going to be dealing with. If a girl is even relatively attractive (from what you guys have said even unattractive) she has a plethora of beta orbiters promising her all sorts of shit and giving her unrelenting attention. If you are still managing to get bangs/game on girls you are standing out from the beta swarm and that means you are doing something right.
Yeah its painstaking to flip through profiles, weeding out the fake profiles and psycho girls, but I think in a way thats kind of fun, and it gives you a chance to hone your game. Just don't let online dating become your only source of game!
Online dating to me when the girls get to like 25-30 especially in the US reeks of finding a husband/LTR. Thats who it is marketed towards, thats who you see in the advertisements, so in all likelihood thats a large % of the women you are going to be dealing with. If a girl is even relatively attractive (from what you guys have said even unattractive) she has a plethora of beta orbiters promising her all sorts of shit and giving her unrelenting attention. If you are still managing to get bangs/game on girls you are standing out from the beta swarm and that means you are doing something right.
Yeah its painstaking to flip through profiles, weeding out the fake profiles and psycho girls, but I think in a way thats kind of fun, and it gives you a chance to hone your game. Just don't let online dating become your only source of game!
Some people, male and female, are simply not photogenic. I know genuine stunners who look meh in profile photos etc whereas some mingers look hot. Really dont know how it works but its true.
I abhor sites like that. It is soul destroying and a hell of a lot worse for esteem than approaches that 'fail'. Like Roosh said in Bang, its better to 'fail' because it means you're actually trying and making things happen. Online game, in my experiences, is almost like a cop-out because you use male-hamster logic by saying "Oh, well she didn't reject me, she just rejected a stupid profile. Stupid bitch". I've tried OKCupid/POF and both just frustrated me and eventually brought me to the manosphere. That said, there are a few guys out there, both on here and the wider PUA-community who nail online game, Cajun is one guy who springs to mind. There is a vid on YouTube where he talks about pics etc.
Every normal man must be tempted, at times, to spit upon his hands, hoist the black flag, and begin slitting throats. - H L Mencken
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