[sox]

Hey all.

I met someone through a friend recently and she's easily a 9. We've hung out in group settings a couple of times over the last couple of weeks and I've stuck to mostly playful negging.

I know focusing on this one girl could likely doom me, but I'm asking this as a general rule.

For someone who's not a random stranger I'm just trying to pick up in public, what kind of approach generally works best? Do I try to get more time with them via my friend and work on indirect Game? Or, after just a few meetings in which we've flirted only a minimal amount, do I just go the direct route and ask the girl out? I guess that's something about the whole indirect approach that I don't understand, since you have to show interest at some point...

Thanks in advance

[hydrogonian]

Thats a good situation. Having 'captive' prey that will be around again is much easier than regular pickup type scenarios. Thats why so many co-workers wind up together.

However, giving a full 'how-to-game' response isn't really practical here.
look at my recent post here, http://www.rooshvforum.network/thread-1889.html , to give you an idea on how to behave. Its written on how to take down bitch shields, but its a good quick overview on how to behave when gaming in general, especially in a situation such as yours.

Quick summary:

1. Don't put the pussy on a pedestal. Treat her normally, pretty much like you'd treat a little sister or daughter.
2. Don't hide your intentions or be indirect.
3. Don't have outcome dependence. You don't care if she responds to your advances or not. Acting normally after she rejects an advance, and showing that it didn't affect your emotional state or behavior one bit, will go a long way in building her attraction toward you. Its important not to flinch for even a second. If you can achieve this, then you can be relentless until you get your date / hookup.

[UgSlayer]

I'd say tease her. You already have some comfort because you're a friend of a friend. Just mercilessly tease her, build sexual tension, isolate (which will be very easy if you're in a group of friends) and escalate. But if she's super hot, then I'd suggest implementing the 2 steps forward, one step back principle.

[sox]

Thanks for the tips guys.

During our first encounter she gave 3 possible IOI's:
- telling her friend (my roommate) how much more she liked his new roommates.
- inviting me to an outing that weekend a few hours away with the two of them.
- facebook friend request the next day (although I wasn't the only one from the evening to get one, so whatever)

We've talked back and forth on facebook a bit, but overall I've stopped that after she failed to respond to a couple of messages.

I've been ragging on her playfully a lot but what the fear in that is something hydrogonian mentioned- how negging can come across as just another way to show too much interest...I've been there before I'd read anything about Game. The biggest thing for me now is to avoid putting her on a pedestal, and my biggest challenge is getting more time with her, hence my dilemma between just calling her up and trying to get some 1 on 1 time now, or trying to build more attraction first. I'm admittedly terrible at approaches (and working on it)...

Thanks again for input so far.

[CJ]

"Easily a 9" huh? This is exactly what Roosh was talking about in the 1-5 blog, and guys thinking every cute girl they see is an 8 or a 9 and any semi-cute girl is a 7. "Easily a 9" is in theory almost a 10, like someone else said, don't put her on a pedestal. I'd imagine a lot of guys here would look at your girl as a 7, unless she buys you shit or something.

[OGNorCal707]

Yeah I hear where you're coming from with this. I wonder though, is your homie that is friends with her trying to get at that, will it create any tension between you to, or is he for sure just on the friend vibe with her? Definitely keep up the playful teasing, but don't go too overboard with it, keep it witty at the right moments. Also you don't want to get stuck in the friend zone, so I'd say after hanging out with her in the group setting a few more times, try and get the number and set up some one on one time. Also, I think as Roosh writes in Bang and other PUA's say, kino will be huge in not getting stuck in the friend zone, try to casually cozy up to her, and use kino to let her know that you're interested in more than just friends. I hear you on not putting her on the pedestal if she's really hot and you dig her personality/vibe it's always hard for me to not get too interested. That said you have to be like the Tao Te Ching and find the balance between being aloof and not giving a fuck, but also showing interest in the right ways.

[sox]

Point taken CJ, you're probably right. I'm new around here and I think living in DC for the last few years has skewed my perspective a little bit.

OGNorCal- Yea...I've talked to him about her a few times and he definitely doesn't want anything more with her than what he's got. I don't know what exactly happened with them but both of them are actively dating other people...so he's definitely on the friend vibe.

[hydrogonian]

You also didn't mention her age. That can have a lot to do with which approach we might advise you to choose.

[sox]

25, same age as I.

[CJ]

(04-12-2010 08:40 PM)sox Wrote:  

25, same age as I.

That's certainly not going to make things any easier... let's assume for the sake of argument she really is an 8. If she's that attractive by age 25 she's heard tons of lines, seen lots of dicks and your window of opportunity is probably slim.

Known her a couple weeks already? I might just cut my losses, bring other girls around and hope she gets jealous. Or maybe she's getting out of a LTR and thirsty for penis, I'd test the waters ASAP. The more time spent "hanging out" the sooner you're viewed as another friend, perhaps a playful/goofy friend in this case, but I assure you just another friend.

[hydrogonian]

(04-12-2010 08:40 PM)sox Wrote:  

25, same age as I.

Then forget the teasing as a way into her pants. You can do it, and she may laugh, but its my opinion that you'll spin your wheels using that as a core strategy.

At 25, she wants to be seduced by a man using manly tactics. Teasing, as a core strategy, is for teenagers.

Also, don't underestimate her level of horniness. At 25, if you aren't fucking her soon, and she's not in some type of fundamentalist religion, then someone else will be fucking her within a short period of time. Time is of the essence. Move with confidence, as you have nothing to lose.

Also, if she's not with (fucking) anyone now (she might be without you knowing), then she is certainly on the hunt.

However, you don't always need to be 'actively' seducing her 100% of the time. That is, take advantage of interactions with other people to demonstrate how cool you are. She is sizing up every guy that comes within range, including you, whether they are talking with her or not. Let her observe you being the cool guy that she wants to be with, without you making her the center of all your actions. This falls in line with the philosophy of attraction that specifically dictates that you not make her the adventure / center of your concentration at all times.

The time when you are actively seducing her, make it count.

[Peoloom]

Are you going out to bars with this girl? Nothing is going to happen on a picnic with all of her friends. Bring alcohol into the equation and run good game. Make a move; you'll either get a green light or a red light and you'll know where you stand. Pontificating over a facebook friend request is just inflating her status in your mind.

[sox]

All good points guys, thanks. An update will be coming...