[Chengiz88]

Cheers General think you hit the nail on the head!!

[Floridian1]

(09-26-2012 02:06 PM)Knowledge Seeker Wrote:  

There's a 34 year old single Asian girl at my workplace that has a 2 year old child.

Forget the stuff about the kid. I wouldn't be messing with a chick from your workplace.

[Chengiz88]

Ok i got a message back...she is has agreed to go out "sometime|" not sure what that exactly might infer but im gonna push on further

[joost]

A close friend of mine got in a relationship with a single mother. His previous relationship ended after 9 years and he never felt so alone (he told me that).

He says he's enjoying the new relationship and incredibly, the kid also (who's 1 year old).

My point of view is that he's getting fucked and I feel sorry for him. She might be nice to you but soon you'll be taking care of somebody else's offspring.

She's old and you shouldn't give her false hopes just for a bang, unless that's what she's looking for.

[Chengiz88]

P.S
34 years single mom dude isn't the same cat as hot blonde single mom dude.

You should never ask a girl out over text if you can do it in person.

She said "sometime", which means at best, 'maybe'
She's now framing her self to get chased.

I'd say an after work insta-date could be an option
I get the feeling she could well flake on traditional set up.

What I'm trying to put across to you is that you're already pedalstalizing her.

It's apparent in every post of yours thus far.

I still think you'll get another shot, when you do, stay cool, stay calm & whatever happens, happens.

P.P.S tread carefully, shitting where you eat & all.

[LeeEnfield303]

(01-19-2016 03:51 PM)Chengiz88 Wrote:  

Ok i got a message back...she is has agreed to go out "sometime|" not sure what that exactly might infer but im gonna push on further

[Chengiz88]

(01-20-2016 02:59 AM)1026 Wrote:  

P.S
34 years single mom dude isn't the same cat as hot blonde single mom dude.

You should never ask a girl out over text if you can do it in person.

She said "sometime", which means at best, 'maybe'
She's now framing her self to get chased.

I'd say an after work insta-date could be an option
I get the feeling she could well flake on traditional set up.

What I'm trying to put across to you is that you're already pedalstalizing her.

It's apparent in every post of yours thus far.

I still think you'll get another shot, when you do, stay cool, stay calm & whatever happens, happens.

P.P.S tread carefully, shitting where you eat & all.

Dude you are so right its scary, It's like you know the situation inside out. Will update you on what goes down and will definitely take your advice. Cheers!!

[DarkTriad]

(09-28-2012 12:47 PM)Giovonny Wrote:  

Maybe she was just testing you. Maybe she never planned to follow through with the zoo date. It's possible that she just wanted to see how you would react when she suggested it.

Bingo. It's now mysteriously cancelled. Beta-testing ain't just for videogames.

[DarkTriad]

(01-16-2016 11:21 AM)General Stalin Wrote:  

(01-16-2016 06:47 AM)Chengiz88 Wrote:  

Anyway out of deperation/idiocy I privately messaged (not at work) her asking her out for a coffee (tried to keep it low key) and well she has not responded. I saw her at work and I'm pretty sure she got the message and has read it, but don't know what my next step should be.

Have I completely fu***d this up?

Based on this: most likely. Private messaging is too beta/non-confrontational. Should have got her isolated somewhere in the office and chat a bit and ask her in person but now that you sent this message which she has likely read and ignored then going for anything further would look desperate as fuck.

You should be careful messing with girls you work with anyway. Don't shit where you eat and all that. Should have tried to pull her when she was getting cozy with you at that party but you choked and missed the opportunity.

There are other girls.

Not just messing with girls at work, but leaving text papertrails of messing with girls at work. Anytime she decides you're inconvenient (sees another guy at work she likes more) she can complain about "creepy" text messages.

[Chengiz88]

@Darktriad my personal messages to her are not at work or through a work messeaging system. The ones i send her to work are v bland and friendly at best. But point noted

[Rawmeo]

To give you an answer on this situation: let's say a 9.5/10 smoking hot girl invites you on a date. Are you going to be free "someday", or "tomorrow at 19:00"? My guess is the latter.
Say an ugly chick invites you on a date with her male gay friend. You will be free "someday".
It works the same with girls dating men. When you are interested in something, you make yourself free, otherwise suggest an alternative date.

Now, to help you get over it, she is a single mom. Despite her young she might look like, she is only good for banging. If this is your goal, then give it a shot, but don't overpush this. This means, you shouldn't go on a zoo date with her and her walking cockblocker. Make her get a babysitter (pay if you need to), invite for drinks, finish at your place, bang. Easy recipe. Pay on the date if you need to, treat her good when you see her, but never get involved in more than sex.

You shouldn't get involved with the child. The child is sitting awake at night hoping to get a daddy in his life because her mom couldn't keep a man around. Don't be this beta. Although she fucked up, the child shouldn't pay for this. Bang, and when she starts to push for relationship or starts denying sex, time to lift anchor.

[Chengiz88]

@Rawmeo your'e right. If there is a will there is a way. If she was up for it she would make the time...but i feel I obviously haven't displayed the right level of value to make this a worthwhile proposition in her eyes. I have been messaging her at work, but it's pretty one way. So this week am just gonna chill. If she messages me then great (dont think she will), if not then so be it. If I do get another shot at banging her (big if now as i reckon i blew my chance) then will not hold back this time....

[rudebwoy]

She stroked your leg under the table after work, you responded by texting her for coffee. LOL

Think you dropped the ball and should move on.

If she replies, don't respond.

I am sure there will be another event after work, if you get another opportunity I would close hard.

[Chengiz88]

@rudebwoy I know I am kicking myself for screwing this up so badly. I think its kinda dead though she is going cold on my messages and saying some stuff like she is so busy...bla bla...if i get another chance (big IF) will def not hold back

[rudebwoy]

^ Stop texting and messaging, Ignore her and act like you aren't fazed.

I am sure you will get another chance at some point.

You don't want to take her on a date, just go for the bang.

[DarkTriad]

(01-23-2016 09:08 AM)Chengiz88 Wrote:  

@Darktriad my personal messages to her are not at work or through a work messeaging system. The ones i send her to work are v bland and friendly at best. But point noted

It's not messages being at work I'm referring to, it's the girl. Anything a coworker can physically bring to HR (like text messages on a cellphone) are high risk. Just talking is both more effective and MUCH safer. No reason to go down that road.

[Chengiz88]

So not been messaging her and she suddenly seems more interested. But as soon as I speak to her in person in the office, that formal work demeanour comes back on. I dont get it. She has been making eye contact but as soon as i make a conversation she goes cold again...

[DarkTriad]

(02-01-2016 05:35 PM)Chengiz88 Wrote:  

So not been messaging her and she suddenly seems more interested. But as soon as I speak to her in person in the office, that formal work demeanour comes back on. I dont get it. She has been making eye contact but as soon as i make a conversation she goes cold again...

You're attractive, and look like a chump that might be soft enough to be support her kid. However, she's getting some signals from more successful guys, so she wants to keep you on the hook while she sees if she can hook a bigger whale.
You could have blasted through if you had played a stronger hand earlier, but you were weak and wishy washy and it's costing you.

Your only chance is full evacuation, and then only re-connect if she is actively chasing you. And even then, you've going to have to be bold and decisive, not like you were before.

[Chengiz88]

@DarkTriad thanks for the feedback bro...u are right. I messed up badly when it was on a plate for me...now I am trying to save it, not going well.

[rudebwoy]

I don't agree with what Dark Triad said.

We don't know for sure what she wants, her grabbing your leg would indicate sex.

You made a faux pas, you messaged her again. Now she has the power and knows you want her, which will make her wonder why you didn't make a move when you had your chance.

I told you to go qhost, be quiet and do not contact her.

What would a guy with options do? He wouldnt give a single mom any of his precious time.

[Kabal]

(09-26-2012 02:06 PM)Knowledge Seeker Wrote:  

She wants me to go hang out with her and her son this weekend at the National Zoo but I haven’t given her a concrete decision yet.

Do it!

Once you three get there, lead them to the lion exhibit, and then say "hey, did you know what male lions do when they come across lionesses with offspring from other male lions?"

While glancing back and forth between her and her kid.

You can be a Knowledge Giver, as well!

[Chengiz88]

@Rudebwoy yep gonna do what u and DarkTriad said. Won't be rude to her or anything as we work in the same office (2 aisles away) but no PM's or messaging from my part unless its purely work related and instigated by her. Time to move the f**k on.

[rudebwoy]

^ Dude just radio silence for now, don't worry these situations always come back at some point. Just don't wait for it, go out and game other girls, show high value. Take a cool trip, pick up a cool hobby, hit the gym, dress differently, learn a language and people (girls) will notice.

You don't want to hang out with her or her son ever, no Zoo, no picnic, nada. You are a single guy and are busy, I see you are in England. So you should be doing weekend trips on a regular to the continent.

[Chengiz88]

@rudebwoy cheers for the advice man.

[Pyrrhic victory]

It seems every 4th post here is about someone hooking up or trying to hook up with a coworker. A totally decimated subject That can end very badly. I don't care how good she looks. There are tons of other options out there.

Do not hook up with coworkers. I repeat do not hook up with coworkers. Meet girls at whole foods, Pizza Hut , chipotle , walking the dog etc. Anywhere but work especially if you are financially well off.

My personal rule is not to go out with anyone that has one degree of separation with people I even work with or employ. This may be paranoia on my part but I won't even let my employees hook me up with a sexy single friend. There is no upside to this and only added exposure and liability.

I have a bs backup phone and email set up. I don't have Facebook or anything else and I always take a new girl to a hotel for the first 3 hookups as part of my vetting process. Who cares if the room is 80 to 150 dollars per night compared to the headache of a possible stalker, having my windows smashed or worse.

Above all I do not flash money, discuss income, or give out my last name. I tell all of them I work in construction. I make it a point to show the girls pics of my house under construction with drywall dust in case they start feeling whorish over staying in a hotel room. That's it.

If at some point in the future you want more out of the relationship and it's more than just casual then you can give out additional information accordingly.