Quote: (09-10-2012 01:17 AM)XXL Wrote:
what happens here? i deal with her logical side by saying safe logical thing that doesn't alarm her and at the same time i spike her emotions cause we're still talking and flirting. the basic rule is to give her excuses to talk to you to handle her logical objections in a not confrontational way BUT keep talking/flirting to the point of serious NO.
Man that’s good shit right there – I call it The Mark of the Adept.
I am gonna get a laugh out of you guys now because in its essence this reflects a Bible lesson.
Follow me here after you stop laughing!
Two sons are asked by a father to do something.
One sons says "yes father" but then complains about the chore, yet does it.
The other son say "yes father" in a respectful way, does not complain and is respectful. yet does not do what was asked of him.
The Bible story goes on to ask which son is to be favored – the one that did the chore or the one that did not..
Same as XXL says – you talk nice - yet you do not do the chore she is asking you to do (which is leaving).
The son that was respectful and nice (not belligerent and or woeful) yet did not do what was asked of him, is said to be favored by God.
As I have communicated to Roosh, so much of success in life and with women has to do with one's self definition and how you construct your character – which leads to how you handle yourself and how you deal with "getting hit" as XXL said in the Tyson quote (thanks XXL that quote was super valuable).
BTW we as men have failed ourselves by not defining ourselves, and therefore have become an extension of our woman's self definition (its like raising a child. if you do not lay out a game and game plan for them, they create one, and it's their game suited to their strengths so they can beat you at it - women do the same). You create the game plan by creating yourself (self defining). This takes time
People secure in character (know themselves) are attractive because women think they are solid and everyone else as well. Being solid means being consistent. Now don't get me wrong, I am not saying to be predictable, but be predictable to yourself and it will radiate to others that you are a solid person (not easily swayed).
I am talking inside game here. Not outside game.
Now but back to the point -
Regarding the quote: Kung fu teaches one spontaneity and how to be pragmatic (build on what life brings you in the moment), that means you build upon what you have in front of you right now, and do your best with it. As a Taoist, I know that you always accept, rejection is a sign of imbalance. Do not argue with reality, or you will lose, but only 100% of the time (Jajajaja)! However - reality is adaptable in the moment - as long as you accept it!
The moment is all we really have and the moment is when you are hitting or being hit. In KFSS (kung fu san soo) we accept that if you are going to fight, you are going to get hit. So if you are going to live you are going to get hit with a lot of different things. What separates the victors and losers is how you resolve it.
As in game, it’s a question of who hits the most and who is hit least, but it's also a question of endurance. If you are hit a lot, but you have strength and stamina then you can endure more hits. In game, strength and stamina is character, which a main ingredient is confidence. You have to have the confidence to stand in there with another reply...
The point is that when you are hit, yes it's a blow, but it also an opportunity to use your ability to adjust your technique. As the Taoist say "crisis and opportunity walk through the same door." If you cannot accept this than you will have a hard time dealing with women, as they bring a lot of both crisis and opportunity (you might have had to live a good deal of life to understand that in the way I mean it / black belt "game" knowledge – so to speak).
The idea in kung fu is to self adjust so you can adapt to what is outside you (opponent, chick, boss, subordinate, whom or whatever). When you self adjust, you adapt with the challenge. Adaptation is important because you unite with the challenger. Once you become part of the challenger (or situation by staying in it, as XXL says to do) you can affect it – because you are united, - part of it. You cannot affect that of which you are not a part.
It is said that all we can control is ourselves. That is ture unless you are part of another self as in "united." You can be united mentally, physically or financially with another, and then you can affect it. I cannot affect someone without uniting my body to their body (as in striking the opponent). I cannot strike you physically with a look from my eyes. Yet I can affect you with my confidence (another story for another time).
Once you disengage because you do not self adjust (like walk away or give up after a rejection),you cannot adapt – because you are disengaged, therefore you cannot affect the situation in a way that transforms it to what you find acceptable.
When a challenge is present, the key is not winning as in "winners and losers." The goal is to transform what is in front of you in a mutually acceptable way (that is if you want business to repeat rather than destroy an opponent). That is exactly what XXL is illustrating when he says, yes tell her what she wants to hear (be respectful) but remain engaged (this is XXL saying – you self adjust to adapt with her). This allows you to transform a rejection into an acceptance.
Last kung fu philosophy for the day: It is counteraction or reversal. Counteraction or reversal is the mark of the adept (highly skilled). When you can take what is going bad and make it go good you have aligned heaven and earth (Taoist philosophy) and created balance through transformation (thus restoring harmony).
The art of transformation is the art of leading a skillful life... A lot of it has to do with palatability (tastefulness) so self adjustments fit the situation (acceptable) and therefore become adaptations (which keep you in the game and create an opportunity for counteraction/reversal) which is The Mark of the Adept.
I hope you guys find this useful because these long ass posts are killing my schedule!!! Jajaja