[Aureo]

Hello

As the title of the thread states, today I was called a mysogynist for the first time, but it wasn't from an old fat ugly lady, it was from my own friend.

He used to be a sort of natural, he's succesful with women and doesn't have to think very much about it, but he's had a girlfriend for about a year now, hadn't fucked any girl (not even his gf, because we're 17 and she's worried about her virginity and stuff), until last weekend when he cheated on her. And well, now he's pretty much a whining beta.

So, earlier this day I told him I wanted to get a gf just for the heck of it, to what he answered that I shouldn't if I wasn't going to love her, I in turn said I wasn't very sure about that, and he said "You see? you're such a mysogynist".

Guys, I don't know why but that really hurt me, I've been called asshole before, no problem, but this time it made me question wether we're being too harsh, probably because it came from someone I consider a friend.

Maybe what happened is that inside me, it's a tiring business to always behave as alpha (what is normally defined as) as possible, while being conscious about it. Maybe it's not natural to do this, maybe being an idiotic moron is my natural state and I should not mess with it. But then, that poses the question, what is better? To be who you were before, in your natural state, or at least what was made of your natural state when you we're being raised, maybe I'm overthinking about life, and in this process I stop being who I really am.
But what is a natural state, if a baby was to be born with no external influences, and only his internal personality was to be expressed, how would it be?

I want to know what do you think about this. Thanks.

[Gmac]

If you're being called a misogynist, you're doing it right.

[peterthephoenix]

Just smile and nod. Do what's right for you.

[Timoteo]

I think your friend made certain personal choices, and is struggling with them. He wants, or wanted, to do what's "right," but failed since he ended up cheating on his girl. In his eyes, he tried, but sees you going into the same situation with no intention of remaining faithful, so he's laying some guilt on you. I wouldn't take what he said to heart.

I think with game it's important to internalize certain principles, but it doesn't necessarily have to change who you are at the core. If you feel as though you're an actor 24/7, inhabiting a character that truly isn't you, then it's wrong. Take bits and pieces, and figure out what works for you.

[Tuthmosis]

Sack up, for starters!

If you can't take being called a misogynistic, at least once a week, you're still too soft and need to bake in the red-pill oven a while longer. You probably don't have all the logical and linguistic tools to respond to this intelligently, and with your own ideas, yet. I see your name around here only once in a while. Read the important threads, internalize some knowledge, evaluate it for yourself critically, and decide what makes sense for you. This isn't groupthink, this is about pushing back on the shut-up-and-repeat-after-us consensus that is second- and third-wave feminism, misandry, and emasculation culture. These things are basically what you got hit over the head with by your "friend."

You're surrounded by people like your friend. You have to decide how much of that you can laugh off and how many of those people need to cut out of your life. There are betas, semi-white knights, and feminist sympathizers who stayed in my life but got downgraded. You may need to do something like that.

Get your shit squared away, homie.

[Hades]

I guess your choice here is to either confront his bitch-made attitude or smile and nod. If you want to save your friendship the second option is going to seem condescending. The second option will actually nuke your friendship.

My friend once told me that "women look for love and find sex, men look for sex and find love".
If you actually want to keep your friend in your life you should tell him to sack the fuck up and quit romanticizing a relationship that meant absolutely nothing. Tell him that she used sex as a bargaining chip against him and drove him to cheating, and the second he feels guilty about it is when her bullshit tactics won. Also tell him that you will cavalierly mention getting a girlfriend because being a negative asshole about your friends finding women means that you've already assumed nothing but the worst outcome is possible. Your friend is at a transition point and he needs a fucking pep talk.

I sort of recommend keeping old friends in your life. I have about a dozen friends that I've known since I was 5-9 years old and we're a tight damned crew. Now I know that most of them don't have serious game, but I don't care and I don't lecture them on it. 90% of the time I never even let on that I practice game.
Whenever I feel like shit I can hang out with them or even chill at their apartments no questions asked. We don't always hang out but we keep in touch. Casting off old friends because you're making personal changes is a lonely route to take. I know that even if they have costed me lays in the past (not too often, but a few) they've still improved my life.

Protip: Now if you don't like your friend by all means tell him to bugger off and find other people. But since you were upset by his comment I figure you'll probably go with some variation of the first option, unless your buddy is already over his malaise.

[Asmodeus]

3. Conceal your intentions.
10. Infection: avoid the unhappy and unlucky.
20. Do not commit to anyone.
38. Think as you like but behave like others.
44. Disarm and infuriate with the mirror effect. (if you want to piss him off)

[solo]

What Gmac said.

Your friend is clearly feeling guilty and projecting that feeling on you. It's not your fault he cheated. I hate it when a "natural" gives bullshit advice. Disregard.

(08-07-2012 09:10 PM)Aureo Wrote:  

Maybe what happened is that inside me, it's a tiring business to always behave as alpha (what is normally defined as) as possible, while being conscious about it. Maybe it's not natural to do this, maybe being an idiotic moron is my natural state and I should not mess with it. But then, that poses the question, what is better? To be who you were before, in your natural state, or at least what was made of your natural state when you we're being raised, maybe I'm overthinking about life, and in this process I stop being who I really am.
But what is a natural state, if a baby was to be born with no external influences, and only his internal personality was to be expressed, how would it be?

I want to know what do you think about this. Thanks.

I think you've got it the wrong way around.

Being alpha isn't supposed to be like making too much of an effort. It's the other way around, being alpha is just a natural state and being beta is what is tiring since a beta doesn't recognize his inner cravings and worries what the girls think about him all the time etc. When I'm practising game it just feels natural and it makes me feel better and more confident. I think maybe you're trying to hard to be alpha and overkill it. Be alpha, but in your own way.
Also, I think Tuthmosis is right you may need to downgrade some people in your life but at 17 maybe this is harder for some.

[polymath]

Love isn't a light switch. You can't turn it on at will. Do what you like, without professing falsely to any feeling, and it will find you.

If you're using love as the cement for your relationship, then there's something wrong. Actions build a relationship, love is just the feeling of accomplishment you get when you take a break and look at what you've built with someone else.

[Walderschmidt]

(08-07-2012 09:10 PM)Aureo Wrote:  

Hello

As the title of the thread states, today I was called a mysogynist for the first time, but it wasn't from an old fat ugly lady, it was from my own friend.

He used to be a sort of natural, he's succesful with women and doesn't have to think very much about it, but he's had a girlfriend for about a year now, hadn't fucked any girl (not even his gf, because we're 17 and she's worried about her virginity and stuff), until last weekend when he cheated on her. And well, now he's pretty much a whining beta.

So, earlier this day I told him I wanted to get a gf just for the heck of it, to what he answered that I shouldn't if I wasn't going to love her, I in turn said I wasn't very sure about that, and he said "You see? you're such a mysogynist".

Guys, I don't know why but that really hurt me, I've been called asshole before, no problem, but this time it made me question wether we're being too harsh, probably because it came from someone I consider a friend.

Maybe what happened is that inside me, it's a tiring business to always behave as alpha (what is normally defined as) as possible, while being conscious about it. Maybe it's not natural to do this, maybe being an idiotic moron is my natural state and I should not mess with it. But then, that poses the question, what is better? To be who you were before, in your natural state, or at least what was made of your natural state when you we're being raised, maybe I'm overthinking about life, and in this process I stop being who I really am.
But what is a natural state, if a baby was to be born with no external influences, and only his internal personality was to be expressed, how would it be?

I want to know what do you think about this. Thanks.

I understand how you feel about being called a misogynist by your friend.

My brother once taught me that I should not place value on everything every one says. For example, if a drunk guy says,"I fucked your mom last night" - I wouldn't care because I know he doesn't know me, or my mom, and is just being drunk. Drunk does as drunk is.

Yet - my own brother called me a misogynist. I told him about how I made my girlfriend make me a nutella sandwich and then blow me while I ate it.

My brother told me that I abused her and that he thought I hated women.

My first thought was "What the fuck?". This upset me. I place value on what my brother says. Now I don't place value on what he says about women.

It is also turns out - he was facing demons of his own - so there was some projection in there as well.

Moral of the story - get tougher skin or get better friends.

Wald

[Samseau]

If my friend called me a misogynist for wanting a girlfriend, after he just cheated on his, I'd probably humiliate him.


"So the guy who can't even keep his dick in his pants is telling me what to do with mine?"

"Do you even know what a misogynist is? You shouldn't be throwing big words around like that."

"Wanting pussy has become a crime? Tell me, did you love your girlfriend when you banged that other whore?"

"I'd rather be a misogynist than a hypocrite".


Seriously. Stand up for yourself man.

[FretDancer]

(08-08-2012 10:45 AM)Samseau Wrote:  

If my friend called me a misogynist for wanting a girlfriend, after he just cheated on his, I'd probably humiliate him.


"So the guy who can't even keep his dick in his pants is telling me what to do with mine?"

"Do you even know what a misogynist is? You shouldn't be throwing big words around like that."

"Wanting pussy has become a crime? Tell me, did you love your girlfriend when you banged that other whore?"

"I'd rather be a misogynist than a hypocrite".


Seriously. Stand up for yourself man.

This. I'd probably be more upset that I didn't have the balls to drop one of these instead of being upset for being called a mysogynist

[kbell]

Mazel Tov! Your making progress accepting the red pill.

[Veloce]

(08-07-2012 09:33 PM)Tuthmosis Wrote:  

Sack up, for starters!

If you can't take being called a misogynistic, at least once a week, you're still too soft and need to bake in the red-pill oven a while longer. You probably don't have all the logical and linguistic tools to respond to this intelligently, and with your own ideas, yet. I see your name around here only once in a while. Read the important threads, internalize some knowledge, evaluate it for yourself critically, and decide what makes sense for you. This isn't groupthink, this is about pushing back on the shut-up-and-repeat-after-us consensus that is second- and third-wave feminism, misandry, and emasculation culture. These things are basically what you got hit over the head with by your "friend."

You're surrounded by people like your friend. You have to decide how much of that you can laugh off and how many of those people need to cut out of your life. There are betas, semi-white knights, and feminist sympathizers who stayed in my life but got downgraded. You may need to do something like that.

Get your shit squared away, homie.

If RVF was more structured, if it was a club, a cult, an underground secret society, this would be the welcoming statement to new initiates.

[WestCoast]

This one is easy. Is your "friend" making you more money, healthier, or helping you get more girls?

Pull a Kendrick Lamar and cut him off.

[Veloce]

To the OP:

Dude, you're 17. You and your buddy haven't seen NEARLY enough action in the trenches to know what a true misogynist is. Your buddy is just throwing that word at you to sound fancy and because his social programming is on it's way to full beta-dom.

You have the benefit of being a teenager. Your actions do not get scrutinized like us old farts in our 30s. We need excuses and rationalizations for the public-at-large, see, as to why we're not married or settled down. You're in the phase of your life when you're SUPPOSED to be treating girls like shit and figuring out your place in the world, and in general, having fun without giving fuck-all about serious responsibility.

Don't even worry about that word, "misogynist". It doesn't even apply to your age group. And don't be sensitive to the slings and arrows of others either. You'll go through the biggest changes of your life in the transition from the late teens to early 20s, and your buddy will probably fall by the wayside.

If you've got some womanizing tendencies in you now, that means you're on the right path. Better hone those skills and stay ahead of the pack.

[durangotang]

Ha! I take that term as a compliment when used by most Americans. The definition is "hatred, dislike, or mistrust of women." Well, I don't hate or dislike women, or even mistrust women. I trust them to behave like women. In the context of our politically correct, cultural marxist society where there is a destruction of gender roles, then any sane man is a misogynist. Do you want women to nurture and raise children? Misogynist. They should send the children to day care for someone else to raise and compete with men in careers. Don't you know that? Do you want women to be feminine and shave their legs? Misogynist. No kidding. A particularly disgusting feminist (post college graduate) was on my neighbors porch last night and she was proud of not shaving her legs because "you don't have to shave your legs, why should I?" It goes on and on.

So in America, and probably all former English colonies, do you want traditional gender roles? Well then, you my friend are a misogynist. At least according to their post gender wordview. Then again they are very adept and changing the definitions of words. They even have a term for the process of redefining words away from their actual meaning (and thereby to destroy the culture) - it's called deconstructionism. In deconstructionism there is no truth, just lies.

If someone calls you a misogynist, just smile and say "thanks".

[WestCoast]

(08-08-2012 02:39 PM)thedude3737 Wrote:  

To the OP:

Dude, you're 17. You and your buddy haven't seen NEARLY enough action in the trenches to know what a true misogynist is. Your buddy is just throwing that word at you to sound fancy and because his social programming is on it's way to full beta-dom.

You have the benefit of being a teenager. Your actions do not get scrutinized like us old farts in our 30s. We need excuses and rationalizations for the public-at-large, see, as to why we're not married or settled down. You're in the phase of your life when you're SUPPOSED to be treating girls like shit and figuring out your place in the world, and in general, having fun without giving fuck-all about serious responsibility.

Don't even worry about that word, "misogynist". It doesn't even apply to your age group. And don't be sensitive to the slings and arrows of others either. You'll go through the biggest changes of your life in the transition from the late teens to early 20s, and your buddy will probably fall by the wayside.

If you've got some womanizing tendencies in you now, that means you're on the right path. Better hone those skills and stay ahead of the pack.

Dear OP this post should be hanging on your refridgerator door.

You'll get to the point where you have to fake "being in a relationship" to sound normal. This assumes you're in a legit job.

[kolovrat]

If my friend called me a misogynist for wanting a girlfriend, after he just cheated on his, I'd probably humiliate him.

Or you could throw out some Menckenian wisdom: "Misogynist: A man who hates women as much as women hate one another."

[Aureo]

(08-07-2012 09:33 PM)Timoteo Wrote:  

I think your friend made certain personal choices, and is struggling with them. He wants, or wanted, to do what's "right," but failed since he ended up cheating on his girl. In his eyes, he tried, but sees you going into the same situation with no intention of remaining faithful, so he's laying some guilt on you. I wouldn't take what he said to heart.

I think with game it's important to internalize certain principles, but it doesn't necessarily have to change who you are at the core. If you feel as though you're an actor 24/7, inhabiting a character that truly isn't you, then it's wrong. Take bits and pieces, and figure out what works for you.

I agree, he's projecting his feelings into me. I almost never take anything said to heart, no worries on that side, but there are certain things that shouldn't be ignored.

With everything you do you have to internalize some foundation, and if you say it doesn't have to change your core, then what is your core?
Someone said "To be is to do", meaning what you are inside is projected on the outside, then someone else came and said "To do is to be", the opposite, and who is right? The decisition is personal, if you're in a process of change then to do is to be. However, if you're an experienced person in life, your habits have changed your personality, therefore to be is to do.

What I meant with "always behaving alpha", is the "fake it till you make it approach", and nowadays most of the time I just behave cool without making a great effort, but sometimes the uglyness filters out

(08-07-2012 09:33 PM)Tuthmosis Wrote:  

Sack up, for starters!

If you can't take being called a misogynistic, at least once a week, you're still too soft and need to bake in the red-pill oven a while longer. You probably don't have all the logical and linguistic tools to respond to this intelligently, and with your own ideas, yet. I see your name around here only once in a while. Read the important threads, internalize some knowledge, evaluate it for yourself critically, and decide what makes sense for you. This isn't groupthink, this is about pushing back on the shut-up-and-repeat-after-us consensus that is second- and third-wave feminism, misandry, and emasculation culture. These things are basically what you got hit over the head with by your "friend."

You're surrounded by people like your friend. You have to decide how much of that you can laugh off and how many of those people need to cut out of your life. There are betas, semi-white knights, and feminist sympathizers who stayed in my life but got downgraded. You may need to do something like that.

Get your shit squared away, homie.

Now this is a great post.
I've already read those threads, those blog posts, about two years ago, but this is a long process.
Great insight there.
I shall award you the

(08-08-2012 05:52 AM)solo Wrote:  

What Gmac said.

Your friend is clearly feeling guilty and projecting that feeling on you. It's not your fault he cheated. I hate it when a "natural" gives bullshit advice. Disregard.

I think you've got it the wrong way around.

Being alpha isn't supposed to be like making too much of an effort. It's the other way around, being alpha is just a natural state and being beta is what is tiring since a beta doesn't recognize his inner cravings and worries what the girls think about him all the time etc. When I'm practising game it just feels natural and it makes me feel better and more confident. I think maybe you're trying to hard to be alpha and overkill it. Be alpha, but in your own way.
Also, I think Tuthmosis is right you may need to downgrade some people in your life but at 17 maybe this is harder for some.

Yeah but when you were raised an average lad, changing into something proactive takes an effort, I may sometimes make the effort too great tho hahaha
Game makes me feel the same

(08-08-2012 02:39 PM)thedude3737 Wrote:  

To the OP:

Dude, you're 17. You and your buddy haven't seen NEARLY enough action in the trenches to know what a true misogynist is. Your buddy is just throwing that word at you to sound fancy and because his social programming is on it's way to full beta-dom.

You have the benefit of being a teenager. Your actions do not get scrutinized like us old farts in our 30s. We need excuses and rationalizations for the public-at-large, see, as to why we're not married or settled down. You're in the phase of your life when you're SUPPOSED to be treating girls like shit and figuring out your place in the world, and in general, having fun without giving fuck-all about serious responsibility.

Don't even worry about that word, "misogynist". It doesn't even apply to your age group. And don't be sensitive to the slings and arrows of others either. You'll go through the biggest changes of your life in the transition from the late teens to early 20s, and your buddy will probably fall by the wayside.

If you've got some womanizing tendencies in you now, that means you're on the right path. Better hone those skills and stay ahead of the pack.

Heh, it's better to start early, isnt it?


I have a question for you, how much do older people in general care about the "misdoings" of younger guys?

[Deluge]

Aureo, you need to start replacing your friends if they're getting too "beta" for your tastes. Start with the most pathetic, white knighting socially awkard dudes you talk to and just cut them off. Replace them with guys your age in your city who are also "red pill", which is pretty easy to do on the internet, google your city and "pick up forum" and start there. Having close friends who are also in this with you will make a really big impact on your future development.