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Datasheet-Panama City Beach Florida, US
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Datasheet-Panama City Beach Florida, US

DATASHEET-Panama City Beach, Florida, US (non-Spring Break)

Introduction- This data sheet will discuss Panama City Beach, Florida at times other than Spring Break which occurs in March and is its own, rather monstrous, creature. The summer high season here is from about Memorial Day in late May to Labor day in early September, although there is vacation activity to some degree year round.
I have lived here full time for two years and have been here almost every year of my life to visit my extensive family connections here, so I am thoroughly familiar with the area

City Overview
- Panama City Beach lies on the Gulf of Mexico on the northwest coast of the State of Florida. Its permanent population is about 12,000, but this swells to over 100,000 at times during the high season, which is roughly from late May to early September. PCB is a separate , municipality from Panama City, a city of about 100,000 which lies just to the east of the other side of St Andrews Bay. The dividing point is the Hathaway Bridge which crosses the bay. If a local tells you that something is “at the beach” they mean somewhere within PCB, probably not at the water’s edge itself. If they mean right at the water they will say “on the beach”. Panama City is referred to as “in town.”
PCB’s sole reason for existing is the tourist industry and the economy is almost entirely dependent on tourist money. Socioeconomically, both locals and visitors are about evenly split between middle class and working class with a smattering of wealthy people. Racially, the permanent residents are almost entirely white; perhaps 5% of the visitors are black. Latins are a small and Asians a very small minority Linguistically, people here overwhelmingly speak only English, but it is not difficult to find a Spanish speaker, especially in the hospitality businesses. We also have Chinese, Japanese and Thais who run local businesses. The Slavic population has undergone a relative explosion in the last few years, with lots of girls coming in to work in the tourist industry and some of them staying. (more on this later) If you are a Slavic speaker, check the local t shirt shops and hotels if you need translation help
Culturally, this is not a sophisticated area- it is referred to as the “Redneck Riviera.” However, it does draw a lot of visitors from Atlanta and other larger southern cities, and you’ll see plenty of Mercedes, BMWs, etcs parked at the nicer spots in town. Visitors are drawn very heavily from the South-Georgia, Alabama, and Tennessee in particular. (Spring Break draws a much more national crowd)
Climate - A subtropical climate. The weather here is hot and humid in summer; it is 99F as I write this in late June. Spring and Fall are warm to moderate, winters are mild; it seldom reaches freezing and typical winter day temps are from upper 50’s to high 60’s. Summer is very sunny with afternoon thunderstorms. Do not mess around with thunderstorms; lightning strikes are frequent. If you hear loud thunder get inside.

Getting here
PCB is 5 hours by car from Atlanta, 6 hours from Tampa ,6 hours from New Orleans, and 2 hours from Pensacola and Tallahassee. There is a local airport but it rather expensive to fly here directly, so many people drive.

Getting around
PCB is spread out along the beach so that it has a narrow but long shape. The different places you will want to visit-such as bars and nightclubs might be several miles from each other. There is no one central nightlife district, but there are certain nodes of activity where you can walk or take a short cab ride between venues. By far the best solution is to have a car .If you don’t , there are several cab companies as noted and there is a local bus system, The Baytown Trolley, that runs along the major routes. I’m not sure how late at night it runs, however.
There are 4 major streets: Front Beach Rd (aka Hwy 98), Middle Beach Rd (aka Hutchison Blvd), Back Beach Rd (aka Panama City Parkway) and Thomas Drive. The beach roads run parallel east to west; Thomas Dr makes a big loop on the east side of town. Virtually anywhere you want to go here will be located on, or close to, these roads. Traffic on Front Beach is often really heavy and slow on weekend nights, best to take Middle or Back Beach and cut over on a cross street to your destination



Girls
The girls here are overwhelmingly white and of southern origin-meaning they are mostly of English, Scottish, Irish, Welsh and German descent. Lots of blondes (either bleach or natural). They are average to tallish in height. The weight issue breaks down largely on class lines, with the lower class girls often being fat, while the middle class college educated girls are most often average to slender. Quality is above average. 9s and 10s are rare, but 8s are fairly common and 6s and 7s very common. Friendliness is above average – being southern they are generally nicer and politer than east coast or west coast girls, and remember-these girls are on vacation and looking to have fun- and to many of them fun means drinking and at least the possibly of meeting a guy and having some vacation sex. There are a few Latins, Asians and a fair amount of black girls here as well.
As noted above there are now Slavic girls all over town-you will encounter them both working and in certain clubs. They seem to be mostly Russian and Ukrainian. EE girls are imported every year by labor contractors to work in the hospitality industry. They live 6-8 per apartment in apartment complexes and appear to party heavily. These girls are generally hot. They frequently ride the public bus around town and can often be seen at the bus stops. There are persistent, and to me-knowing some of the sources- credible rumors that some of the girls engage in P4P on the side to earn extra cash to take home at the end of the season. No knowledge of prices.

Sight seeing/Activities
The big sight here is the beach. The sand is white and the water is very warm and mostly calm during the summer. Scuba diving is very popular here-check out the Panama City Dive Center or the Dive Locker- they are the two big dive shops in town. Surfing is also popular but the waves are best in winter. You can parasail, rent jet skis, or a boat. You can also take a dolphin tour to see the local dolphins. Charter offshore fishing is very popular.
Lots activities for tourists exist here-mini golf, real golf, scooter/motorcycle rental, go kart rides, amusement rides, batting cages, paintball, etc. Plenty of excellent opportunities for fun, low key day dates.

Lodging –
Your basic choices are either hotel or condos. Prices vary widely according to quality and proximity to the beach, but during the summer you will probably pay at least $150 a night for a decent hotel room close to the beach. If you want beach view probably $200+. It is common here to put 4-6 people in a room to reduce expenses. The big party hotels are the Edgewater Resort, the Sandpiper, The Holiday Inn Sunspree, and Ocean Towers, but any hotel on the beach is going to have partiers during the summer. If you want to spend more you can rent a condo-call the condos directly or go through a rental agent-there are numerous ones around town.

Restaurants-The best restaurant here for food are Firefly, the Saltwater Grill, and The Boatyard; I have successful run restaurant lounge game at all three. Plenty of other decent mid-priced restaurants but as a rule avoid those right on the beach –they serve crappy food at high prices to rube tourists. (Schooners has pretty good food though). Some decent ethnic restaurants as well. The Hofbrau in Pier Park serves excellent authentic German food and beer and is right across the street from Tootsies. Every Friday at 6 they give away free beer until the keg is exhausted.

Day Game

Pier Park- An excellent day game spot.. A very large newish outdoor mall accessible by Front Beach or Back Beach Rds. Has all the usual mall stores plus tourist stores, restaurants and bars. Walk up and down the main street and through the stores. Girls everywhere.
The Beach- the beach is miles long here-naturally, the best spots are in front of the busiest hotels and condos.
Walmart-The Walmart at the corner of Front Beach and Middle Beach Rds is reputed to be one of the busiest in the world. During the summer it is loaded with girls buying food, booze and beach supplies.
Publix- I refer to the Publix grocery store at Back Beach and Robert Jackson Blvd as “the meat market Publix.” I can hardly go in there without seeing several hot women by themselves, usually the MILFy or cougar types 25-45.
Hotel/condo pools- girls staying at the hotels are often at the pools drinking during the day. The Edgewater has one of the best pools but only guests are allowed.

Nightlife Game

La Vela- this club bills itself as the largest nightclub in the United States. It is a self contained complex with sort of a rabbit warren of rooms with different themes. The centerpieces are the Thunderdome, a slick club environment, and the Pool Deck, a large outdoor pool surrounded by a concrete deck in an enclosed courtyard. Other spaces have themes such as the Pussykat Lounge, The Rock Arena, and the Posh Lounge. The club has lots of special events such as concerts(I saw the Crystal Method there last weekend) and theme nights such as Sex and Candy, Superflirt, and many others.
This is an 18 and over club. If you are 21 and over your hand will be stamped, allowing you to drink. Don’t get caught giving alcohol to an underager, the staff are constantly looking out for this and you will be kicked out. Cover charges varies widely from free to $20 or more depending on day, time of day, whether it’s a holiday or special event, whether you are drinking age or not, and whether you are a local or not. Expect to pay $10 on average. Well drinks are $5.75
La Vela skews way young- the more you get over 25, the more out of place you will feel. Plenty of girls here, many of them decent looking with some real hotties. But plenty of douchebags , frat boys and rednecks too so be prepared for lots of aggressive, if unskilled, competition. It’s probably this factor plus the “sophisticated club” aura of the place that puts the bitch shields on full power when the girls come here. Girl here are more difficult to pick up than any other place on the beach so be prepared for the challenge
La Vela is a must do when you come to PCB

Spinnaker-conveniently right next to La Vela, it’s a rather large club itself. Has a dance space and a large outdoor wooden deck and bars. Draws a crowd similar to La Vela-most partiers hit both on the same night- but the crowd has some older people in late 20 to 40’s. Another must do. Allows under 21.

Tootsies-located on the main street in Pier Park, this is a live music country music club. Has live bands all afternoon and night until 2:30. Mostly country with some rock mixed in. The crowd is from early 20’s to 70’s, mostly in the 25 to 45 range. The music and dancing is the main activity here. Has a nice long bar making it fairly easy to get a drink and serves food until 10 or so. This is not a redneck bar-it’s really more middle class visitors.
Lots of hot girls who are commonly very open to being approached. This is my primary hunting ground, and I seldom leave without getting a couple of numbers and often a kiss close. Girls frequently approach me as well. The best strategy is to stand either at the bar and open girls as they buy drinks, or stand between the bar and the dance floor and circulate a bit to get close to targets. I have girls proximity open me every time in this space and I often get verbally opened as well. Never a cover, well drinks are $6.75 in summer, cheaper the rest of the year. Under 21 is allowed in until 9pm. Let me emphasize again-girl quality is really high. Don’t miss.

Coyote Ugly’s- yes, this is part of the same chain as the bar the movie was made about. Features girl bartenders who dance on the bar when not serving drinks. Female customers dance on the bar as well. A sausage fest with lots of beta tourists gawking at the bartenders early in the evening, the girls start showing up about 10:30 and the place is quite busy from midnight to 4am on the weekends. Almost entirely a twenties crowd. Lots of bar restaurant and hotel girls come here when they get off their shifts late at night. 18 allowed in, 21 to drink. No cover if you’re drinking age. Well drinks are $5.50. I don’t go here much, but is supposed to be a good place for a late night pull.

The Boatyard- this is primarily a restaurant, but has a large outdoor deck bar on the water that attracts a lot of women and sees some action. A real Milfy/cougar environment with some younger girls also. I like to start an evening here, eating at the bar and opening any women who sit nearby. The big attraction though is the monthly party held on the third Thursday of each month. In summer known as Little Sundress party, in winter as Little Black Dress party. If you are here on that day, it is not to be missed; the party draws the hottest chicks in the area. They usually outnumber the guys at least 60/40 if not more. Girls range from 21 to mid 40s and quality is very high. Large contingent of EE girls in the summer. The party officially starts at 7 but gets going about 9:30 and really heats up after 11. First a live band then a DJ. Bitch shields on medium power. Lots of golddigger types, so dress well.

Other Places- The following are worth a try and you may find decent girls on a given night: Hofbrau, Margaritaville., Sandpiper Tiki Bar, Newby’s, Firefly, Saltwater Grill, Pineapple Willy’s
Panama City- The only place in The City of Panama City(to the east crossing the Hathaway bridge on Hwy 98) worth going to is Gracie Rae’s, which is a bar at the back of a large restaurant called The Shrimpboat on Beck Ave in the St Andrews neighborhood. Only good during their Thursday night Ladies Night, which is sometimes lame but other times a real meat market. Gets going about 9:30. Try this earlier and if you get nothing just drive back to PCB and hit the clubs.
The only strip club worth going to here is the Gold Nugget on Hwy 98. I go here maybe once every three months- always a few girls of interest. Cover charge is $10, private lap dances in secluded booths in the back are $30 for first dance with a girl, $20 for subsequent dances during the same session. To me, a bit overpriced for what you get, but you might enjoy it.

Ease of approaching-Tourist girls here are generally friendly and not difficult at all to approach. They are on vacation, in a good mood, and looking to have fun, which includes getting drunk and often meeting a guy and hooking up.

Game -Run standard American game. But qualify them earlier and harder for logistics and DTFness. Once you have built some attraction, ask where they are staying and who they are in town with. These are normal conversational topics here and most girls will happily tell you, if not volunteer it. Remember, she and probably you will not be in town for more than a few days after you meet her, and girls on vacation are even flakier than normal so don’t expect to get a date the next day, although it happens. SNL is the mission here.

Prices-
Typical American prices, somewhat lower than the more upscale resorts. Drinks at the better places are $5 to 6.50, with lower prices at the downmarket bars. Many places have happy hour pricing. The restaurants that cater to the mid-priced tourist family market are overpriced for the quality you get. Fast food is everywhere. The upscale restaurants price entrees at $22-28.

Safety
This is a quite safe city- serious street crime is unusual. To give you an idea, the local news frequently reports on shoplifting, minor financial crimes, and drug possession busts just so they can have some crime news to report. Of course, drunken fights among young stupid tourists do occur, so try to avoid confrontations. Minor thefts are also frequent, as at any resort. Be aware this area takes a conservative law and order approach to drugs; if you are caught with any amount you will be arrested. Don’t get caught providing alcohol to minors either, you can be arrested for this. Also, don’t consider this legal advice, but my understanding of Florida law is that the age of consent here is 16 if you are under 23, and 18 if you are over 23

Pros and Cons

Pros- Lots of quality girls on vacation
Not too expensive
Excellent beaches
Plenty of day and night activities
Very safe
Cons-Not sophisticated
Not near major cities or main air travel routes

Final thoughts- Good for a short stay if you live in the South and want to make it a destination trip. Not really a prime destination for international travelers,(except for young Spring Breakers) but would make a good stop if you are passing through on a driving tour of the US.

"If anything's gonna happen, it's gonna happen out there!- Captain Ron
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