I recently took the No Fat Chicks pledge. I did it because I have learned self respect, more than anything else, is necessary for my inner game to improve. I have also learned to be a ruthless, irredeemable asshole with a sense of humor in the Tucker Max range.
So I was in a bar on a friend's birthday. This particular friend was the chapter president of our fraternity, and he was turning 21. Myself and a group of other 21+ year old brothers, other friends and a couple of chicks take him out and get him shit faced. Eventually one of the bouncers tells me I have to make him sit down and not stumble around and shit. This is fine, so I get him to sit at one of the high top tables near the bar, and start going walking back to the crowded floor to do another approach.
I didn't make it back to the floor. I was intercepted half way by a fat chick. This chick had a cute face, and dressed well, but failed the boner test because of her embarrassing display of adiposity. She actually approached me. By approach, it was almost she had read Bang and was trying to flip the script. At first I was just trying to think of the polite way to slip away. I could tell by her attire and manners that she was in a sorority, and harsh fat shaming of a fat girl in a sorority is a great way to cock block yourself from the rest of the sorority. Then I had a diabolical idea. Right about the time this chick started escalating by touching me, the following exchange takes place...
FB3.5: So, are you in a Fraternity?
Me: Yeah
FB3.5: which one?
Me: (I tell her my letters)
FB3.5: Oh, yeah, I love you guys. I'm a (she tells me her letters, revealing she is in the sorority that is known for giving bids to plumpers)
(At this point I'm thinking "yeah? No shit.)
Me: Oh yeah, y'all are fun to party with. Say, it's our chapter president's birthday tonight, you should go say hello. He's the gentleman in the red polo hat, right there.
This chick swooped in on the table like I had directed her to a pizza buffet. She approached my wasted fraternity brother, and basically started molesting him. By that I mean if a guy swoops in on a chick this drunk in such a predatory fashion, some white knight will intuitively run up and crash into his skull with a beer bottle. Hilarity ensued. He was either too drunk to realize how fat she was, or too drunk to do anything about being accosted. It was probably both. The display was too much. Those of us that were behind her back started laughing like hysterical idiots. She probably really thought she was going to get treated to some birthday frat boy cock.
Of course, we aren't totally evil, we weren't going to actually let her pick him up. The other guys made sure to grab him and get him out of there, saying something like "hey, he's gotta go, he's too drunk, you can give him your number though." She was so disappointed. So close, yet so far from the type of cock she is consistently denied because of her inability to not stuff her face with carbs. I should have snapped a pic, would have made a great disappoint fat chick meme.
So I was in a bar on a friend's birthday. This particular friend was the chapter president of our fraternity, and he was turning 21. Myself and a group of other 21+ year old brothers, other friends and a couple of chicks take him out and get him shit faced. Eventually one of the bouncers tells me I have to make him sit down and not stumble around and shit. This is fine, so I get him to sit at one of the high top tables near the bar, and start going walking back to the crowded floor to do another approach.
I didn't make it back to the floor. I was intercepted half way by a fat chick. This chick had a cute face, and dressed well, but failed the boner test because of her embarrassing display of adiposity. She actually approached me. By approach, it was almost she had read Bang and was trying to flip the script. At first I was just trying to think of the polite way to slip away. I could tell by her attire and manners that she was in a sorority, and harsh fat shaming of a fat girl in a sorority is a great way to cock block yourself from the rest of the sorority. Then I had a diabolical idea. Right about the time this chick started escalating by touching me, the following exchange takes place...
FB3.5: So, are you in a Fraternity?
Me: Yeah
FB3.5: which one?
Me: (I tell her my letters)
FB3.5: Oh, yeah, I love you guys. I'm a (she tells me her letters, revealing she is in the sorority that is known for giving bids to plumpers)
(At this point I'm thinking "yeah? No shit.)
Me: Oh yeah, y'all are fun to party with. Say, it's our chapter president's birthday tonight, you should go say hello. He's the gentleman in the red polo hat, right there.
This chick swooped in on the table like I had directed her to a pizza buffet. She approached my wasted fraternity brother, and basically started molesting him. By that I mean if a guy swoops in on a chick this drunk in such a predatory fashion, some white knight will intuitively run up and crash into his skull with a beer bottle. Hilarity ensued. He was either too drunk to realize how fat she was, or too drunk to do anything about being accosted. It was probably both. The display was too much. Those of us that were behind her back started laughing like hysterical idiots. She probably really thought she was going to get treated to some birthday frat boy cock.
Of course, we aren't totally evil, we weren't going to actually let her pick him up. The other guys made sure to grab him and get him out of there, saying something like "hey, he's gotta go, he's too drunk, you can give him your number though." She was so disappointed. So close, yet so far from the type of cock she is consistently denied because of her inability to not stuff her face with carbs. I should have snapped a pic, would have made a great disappoint fat chick meme.