[Mark Minter]

(05-30-2012 09:15 AM)joehoya Wrote:  

Learn to fight.

Join a boxing, BJJ, Judo, Kickboxing/Muay Thai, MMA gym. The cheapest (and some may say the best) choices are boxing and judo. It won't turn you into Billy Badass, but it WILL get you comfortable with the idea of a physical altercation. A key point is do something where they REALLY hit/throw/choke you, don't bother with some martial arts that are really little more than air tag. Once you get punched or thrown to the ground and realize "Hey, I didn't die, and I didn't crap my pants!" you will be MUCH more confidence.

Women WILL pick up on this. In the US, the most consistant times that women have approached me has been on my way home after Judo/Full Contact Karate classes. You just give off a vibe. Your body is flush with all of those hormones and pheromones that come from physical combat and women soak that shit up like it was honey.

From there you will NATURALLY develop your own style of dealing with confrontations with other men. Some guys like to scream and get all bug-eyed. My style is much more calm. I don't raise my voice and the more excited the confronter gets, the calmer I get. It stems from accepting that this may lead to violence and being perfectly cool with that. That calm confidence tends to de-escalate situations because 1) you aren't feeding into the other guys agression,2) often the other guy begins to worry about why you are so calm, and 3) he has an opportunity to back out while saving face.

Keep in mind something. The VAST majority of men do not know how to fight with any level of skill. They don't know how to throw a good punch, they have no clue how to work in a clinch, and they are completely screwed on the ground. Any significant amount of REALISTIC training will give you a huge leg up.

-------------------------
I am contemplating, actually more than contemplating, a blog piece that considers this. My general theme is that modern life removes the ways that male bodies produce testosterone and increase the level that it creates cortisol, a major health hazard. And I found a piece that even said that it is almost an automatic filter of bad genetics. By dropping testosterone and increasing cortisol, the body goes through a metamorphosis, fatter and impotent, with ED being a likely outcome.

One of the central pieces in the blog is about a wall street trader from 10-15 years ago and the very act of risking huge amounts of money caused massive amounts of testosterone to get produced in his body. And it didn't leave. Research shows that anticipation of competition left men with higher levels of testosterone after the competition, if they had success, and higher levels of cortisol, if they expected to lose and did lose. And for these guys with the higher testosterone level it translated into sexual success. And now wall street has gone through a change. Computers handle the analysis and remove the human risk, that "hanging it all out" that the place used to be known for is gone, and those traders have lost testosterone and have amped up cortisol from "status stress"

I am even wondering if the attraction that women have to muscles is actually an attraction to testosterone, where muscles are a "signal" of testosterone.

So I was wondering if something like a contact sport, practiced regularly where you had the fear of getting hit to overcome, where you had think about it, gear up for it, conquer the fear, and fight, might be a way to stimulate testosterone and also that increased testosterone might that be the reason for both your sense of confidence and also being better in confrontational situations.

Studies about traits women prefer in men give "Confrontational" and "Arrogant" as high marks as "Muscular" and way more than "Financially successful". And both of those seem to me to be testosterone connected.

So could talk we about this? I mean this could be an important piece if this idea, this hypothesis that I have. I mean if it were true, then it could help men avoid stroke, diabetes, depression, impotence.

[Giovonny]

(03-12-2013 02:54 PM)Mark Minter Wrote:  

I am contemplating, actually more than contemplating, a blog piece that considers this. My general theme is that modern life removes the ways that male bodies produce testosterone and increase the level that it creates cortisol, a major health hazard. And I found a piece that even said that it is almost an automatic filter of bad genetics. By dropping testosterone and increasing cortisol, the body goes through a metamorphosis, fatter and impotent, with ED being a likely outcome.

One of the central pieces in the blog is about a wall street trader from 10-15 years ago and the very act of risking huge amounts of money caused massive amounts of testosterone to get produced in his body. And it didn't leave. Research shows that anticipation of competition left men with higher levels of testosterone after the competition, if they had success, and higher levels of cortisol, if they expected to lose and did lose. And for these guys with the higher testosterone level it translated into sexual success. And now wall street has gone through a change. Computers handle the analysis and remove the human risk, that "hanging it all out" that the place used to be known for is gone, and those traders have lost testosterone and have amped up cortisol from "status stress"

I am even wondering if the attraction that women have to muscles is actually an attraction to testosterone, where muscles are a "signal" of testosterone.

So I was wondering if something like a contact sport, practiced regularly where you had the fear of getting hit to overcome, where you had think about it, gear up for it, conquer the fear, and fight, might be a way to stimulate testosterone and also that increased testosterone might that be the reason for both your sense of confidence and also being better in confrontational situations.

Studies about traits women prefer in men give "Confrontational" and "Arrogant" as high marks as "Muscular" and way more than "Financially successful". And both of those seem to me to be testosterone connected.

So could talk we about this? I mean this could be an important piece if this idea, this hypothesis that I have. I mean if it were true, then it could help men avoid stroke, diabetes, depression, impotence.

I think you are on to something here!

There is nothing more masculine then fighting another man to the death with bare hands. That is how species and cultures evolved.(mma/boxing simulates this) The universe is a violent place. Nowadays, we use weapons. A man equipped for battle seems to have an advantage. Women respond to power, muscles, fear, physical dexterity, leadership of others, physical domination, etc.

We are wired for battle. They are wired to choose the winner.

The Meek Will Inherit The Earth is a whole 'nother story...

Slubu,

I think you have your answer.

[WestCoast]

Fearlessness is by far the most attractive quality. Humans in general, not just women are attracted to it.

Think about the guys you all admire, they risked it to get somewhere. We don't admire trust fund babies but we admire the Internet ipo guys, it is never the result that matters it is the process to the result. Loads of cash is just a mask for their own insecurities. This is also why you should never take advice from people who had it easier than you.

At the end of the day I believe "shit tests" are the modern version of security for a woman. If you can't take some heat from a 7 what are you going to do when real shit hits the fan, be a pussy and quit? End of the day, not saying to go fight dudes in bars since society makes that a disaster for you long-term, but men in general today are completely pampered. Touched on this in a different post but today life is significantly easier than in the last several years so we have no reason to leave our comfort zones which will always have food/shelter/water.

This is another reason why your quality will be as follows; day game>night game>online game. It takes more balls to just straight say "this is mine" during the day.

To sum, go out there and lift, get aggressive and stop playing by the stupid rules we have been taught. There is no interesting man in the world who plays by the rules, therefore there is no attractive male who lived by the rules either.

[Nascimento]

(03-12-2013 05:05 PM)WestCoast Wrote:  

Fearlessness is by far the most attractive quality. Humans in general, not just women are attracted to it.

Think about the guys you all admire, they risked it to get somewhere. We don't admire trust fund babies but we admire the Internet ipo guys, it is never the result that matters it is the process to the result. Loads of cash is just a mask for their own insecurities. This is also why you should never take advice from people who had it easier than you.

At the end of the day I believe "shit tests" are the modern version of security for a woman. If you can't take some heat from a 7 what are you going to do when real shit hits the fan, be a pussy and quit? End of the day, not saying to go fight dudes in bars since society makes that a disaster for you long-term, but men in general today are completely pampered. Touched on this in a different post but today life is significantly easier than in the last several years so we have no reason to leave our comfort zones which will always have food/shelter/water.

This is another reason why your quality will be as follows; day game>night game>online game. It takes more balls to just straight say "this is mine" during the day.

To sum, go out there and lift, get aggressive and stop playing by the stupid rules we have been taught. There is no interesting man in the world who plays by the rules, therefore there is no attractive male who lived by the rules either.

I think this is a fantastic post. You seem quite knowledgeable on the topic, so in what ways would you say best develops this fearlessness?

I ask besides the obvious mentions. I already lift, do my night game sober, and occasionally do some daygame (will increase now that summer is almost here). I would love to enroll in a gym and take some martial art classes, but it is out of my price range for some time.

Besides that, what are some ways to increase this?

My idea is that some of this mentality can be developed by doing things that taking you to your edge. Daygame on your own is an excellent example. I was thinking of adding in sprints to my training, as the feeling where you are gassed and have to burst out one more 20 second 200% spring is by far one of the hardest fitness challenges, and really tests your mental and physical side.

By saying that, I think sprinting is something that can be looked into. Any other ideas?

[Mark Minter]

[quote] (03-12-2013 05:15 PM)Nascimento Wrote:  

[quote='WestCoast' pid='392192' dateline='1363125928']
Fearlessness is by far the most attractive quality. Humans in general, not just women are attracted to it.



I think this is a fantastic post. You seem quite knowledgeable on the topic, so in what ways would you say best develops this fearlessness?

I ask besides the obvious mentions. I already lift, do my night game sober, and occasionally do some daygame (will increase now that summer is almost here). I would love to enroll in a gym and take some martial art classes, but it is out of my price range for some time.

Besides that, what are some ways to increase this?

My idea is that some of this mentality can be developed by doing things that taking you to your edge. Daygame on your own is an excellent example. I was thinking of adding in sprints to my training, as the feeling where you are gassed and have to burst out one more 20 second 200% spring is by far one of the hardest fitness challenges, and really tests your mental and physical side.

By saying that, I think sprinting is something that can be looked into. Any other ideas?[/quote]

Honestly, I think some sort of fighting sport is good, something that scares the shit out of you, that fear that you have to overcome. Something where you are possibly gonna get hit. And yet you still get out there and do it. And after it is over, you have a dopamine high from doing it. There is a whole lot of shit that hurts worse than getting hit and getting hit doesn't really hurt that much when you actually get hit. Later maybe, but not when it happens.

But also, I think keep Gaming. I am in the midst of this research. As I mentioned in the other comment, a neurologist did a study on Wall Street traders. He had them spit into a cup and measured hormonal content of the spit, testosterone, insulin, cortisol, and dopamine. What he found was as they mentally prepared for jumping into that pit to trade, their body started going through the mechanics of producing as the end product, testosterone.

Many Game Bloggers talk about their mental preparation and ritual to get ready to go out and approach. I think it all has the same effect, to ramp up the endocrine system and get it producing testosterone. Studies show that men that compete and have an expectation of success end up with a higher level of testosterone after the competition.

So I am starting to think that men that work at Game, start to succeed at Game, have a continually increasing level of testosterone and women know it, both in the mannerism of the men, the way they look, and I think they can actually smell it.

When I was young, I played football and I would not as afraid of taking on a big dude in a violent tackling drill as I was of approaching a girl. Approaching is hard. There is fear of social rejection.

So I think a fighting sport has some of the same endocrine system functions about competition producing testosterone, but Game will too.

It's not just the "practice makes perfect" idea, that eventually you become a master and success becomes more frequent. I think you also produce T, and you go through the physical and behavioral changes of having higher T and it signals to the women. And that is the underlying basis of success. My research is telling me that Women want T because it signals a highly functioning immune system. The other characteristics, muscles, confrontation, arrogance, not being nice, being a dick, are all signals to her hindbrain that you have T. And any baby she would have with you would withstand parasite load, illness, disease. It wasn't too long ago people died from colds, flu, measles, lots of things. Maybe less than a 100 years. So a highly functioning immune system was the best gift that a man could give to a child. Muscles are costly, they pull assets away from immune system functions. Muscles are indicators of T. If you have muscles and high T and you are not sick, then you have a highly functioning immune system, at least that is what her 100,000 year old genetic coding in her hindbrain is telling her. And if you are an asshole, confrontational, arrogant, etc. then you have T,

I'm right at the beginning this research, but it is starting to make sense to me. But I think T is the egg before the chicken that is making Game guys see the virtue of being an "asshole" with muscles. Lots of other rationalizations have come about, "She wants a fighter". "She wants to feel protected", "She wants someone that can get resources in bad times". But I am thinking those are the chicken. T is the egg.

[Nascimento]

Quote:

Many Game Bloggers talk about their mental preparation and ritual to get ready to go out and approach. I think it all has the same effect, to ramp up the endocrine system and get it producing testosterone. Studies show that men that compete and have an expectation of success end up with a higher level of testosterone after the competition.

I am aware of competition and raising T, but have never heard of mental preparation itself raising T. Do you have any examples/ideas of mental preparation in regards to game that could raise T?

Quote:

When I was young, I played football and I would not as afraid of taking on a big dude in a violent tackling drill as I was of approaching a girl. Approaching is hard. There is fear of social rejection.

This is interesting. I was always a soccer player, nothing contact heavy like football. I am surprised you say approaching is harder than meeting an opponent in a tackle, in terms of taking on fear.

I need to come across some other things that can increase this confrontational confidence as well. High testosterone can definitely have a positive correlation with it, I think. But you can only get yours so high naturally through diet and lifestyle.

Also, I remembered cold showers. Being in a warm rinse and then suddenly turning it to as cold as it goes and forcing yourself to stay as long as possible seems to give a high as well.

[Giovonny]

"Fearlessness is by far the most attractive quality"

(03-12-2013 05:15 PM)Nascimento Wrote:  

what ways would you say best develops this fearlessness?

Here is my answer to that question:

(08-29-2012 12:43 PM)Giovonny Wrote:  

Here is a bunch of stuff that I wrote over the last few years. Alot of it will sound repetitive but I think you will find some techniques that you like.

However, my philosophy and techniques are always evolving. At the end of this post I will write my most current and up-to-date plan for eliminating fear from your body and mind[/b][/i]

(02-09-2012 01:14 PM)Giovonny Wrote:  

The short answer is to simply do more repititions of whatever it is that you're scared of. If your scared to talk to girls, talk to 100 girls, if your scared to give speeches, give 100 speeches.

Facing your fear head on is the alpha thing to do!

I also recommened doing things that are much scarier then talking to girls like:

skydiving
bungee jumping
handling large snakes
Public speaking
fighting (like live sparring for boxing/mma)
talking to a therapist about your deepest fears (this is a highly underrated inner game tactic)


And simultaneously,

Addresing your specific fears like:

heights
flying
the dark
etc.

When you eliminate your deep seeded childhood fears, all other little fears melt away. Fear and confidence are in a constant struggle to control your mind. Attack your fear and feed your confidence!

(02-10-2012 03:01 PM)Giovonny Wrote:  

This type of stuff has worked for me. I take fear elimination very serious.

Conquering my fear and feeding my confidence has been maybe the most important thing in my life the last few years. I realized that the less fear I have, the happier I am, the more free I am. That might be the most fundamental part of Game - having no fear. Its so liberating. You don't have to worry about people judging you, people liking you, or trying to fit in. You are free to just be yourself and have fun. You don't give a fuck! (when fear is gone)

I can't live with fear. I feel like a little pussy loser who is afraid to face the world. So I attack fear. I've talked to many sports psychologists and many colleagues in psychology to develop a strategy that works for my specific situation. I work hard on "inner game" because game begins in the mind.

Fear has infected many people. Everybody is so scared of everything. I can't live like that. I live for fearlessness.

(02-11-2012 03:29 PM)pitt Wrote:  

Giovonny just one more thing. You mentioned all important things apart from working out or lifting weights, dont you think that this can be a very effective tool in eliminating fear? Dont you think that this can help eliminating fear?

(02-12-2012 01:53 PM)Giovonny Wrote:  

Working on all aspects of your appearance is very important!

You want to look as good as possible, of course.

But I consider that "outer game". It doesn't fix the weaknesses is your mind. (though it may help them somewhat)

I think we have to work on both at the same time.

If lifting weights works for you then of course due it hard.

But, don't ignore those little fears that are in the back of your head when you go to bed at night. If you can conquer those, you will go to another level.

I'm trying to get to an almost spiritual level where its like I'm on ecstasy even though I'm not.

http://www.rooshvforum.network/thread-6994-page-3.html

(02-12-2012 03:33 PM)pitt Wrote:  

Do you mind if you breakdown how you go along with skydiving, bungee jumping, handling large snakes etc, i mean, do you do those activities on regular basis (for example twice a week) or you reccommend to do it for a one time life experience

(02-12-2012 04:18 PM)Giovonny Wrote:  

I didn't know about "game" when I did those things, but now when I look back, I think those things helped me. I've only done those things once in my life and would never do them again but I'm glad I did it once. With skydiving and bungee-jumping, once is enough to shake you up a little. I thought I was dead, so when I got back on the ground I was approaching like crazy.

You should do something extreme like this asap AND find a fear eliminating exercise that you can do on a regular basis. Maybe a boxing/mma gym or a rock climbing class or firing range where you can shoot guns or surfing or something that will force you to face some fear.

AND, You should identify the top 2 or 3 fears that are holding you back from being the man you want to be and aggressively attack them.

AND, you should consider talking to a professional therapist about any fear that you may have carried from your childhood. If you have any "issues", deal with them honestly and aggressively.

Design a fear elimination game plan and get to work.

So you are doing extreme once in a lifetime stuff, regular confidence boosting maintenance, and also working on root of the problem in your mind. AND, at the same time you are improving your "outer game" in terms of appearance, vibe, and conversation.

Thats what I would do. (Thats what worked for me)

Oh, and I must admit, these helped alot too..

http://www.rooshvforum.network/thread-6998.html

(09-29-2011 04:08 PM)Giovonny Wrote:  

Something related that I posted last year:

I learned this by accident but something that helped me was DOING THINGS THAT WERE MUCH SCARIER THEN APPROACHING GIRLS.

I went skydiving and nearly shit my pants, when i got back on the ground i couldn't wait to approach girls..i had just experienced a great deal of fear and i was laughing it off...approaching girls didn't seem that scary anymore.

Other things that helped were boxing in the Golden Gloves, talking to my mom about why she left my dad, bungee jumping, etc. The bottom line is the more you face your fears...the less fear you will have stored in your body/mind...when you eliminate all that fear, approaching girls is easy.

(07-06-2011 04:26 AM)Giovonny Wrote:  

Another way to increase confidence is to deal with any unresolved emotional issues that you might have. I think that stuff is deep Inner Game. Carrying around alot of emotional baggage can have a negative effect on your vibe. Sometimes you gotta just stay home alone for a few days and really think about stuff. If you have more internal peace, you might be more comfortable and have more confidence.

Talking to my parents about why they divorced helped me get over alot of anger and pain.

Which allowed me to be more relaxed and soften my vibe so that it was more attractive to females. My sense of humor picked up and my attitude was more playful and less intense. I started dressing with more swag because I was more comfortable with who I was.

Forgiving someone, forgiving yourself, having a heart to heart talk with a parent or sibling, these kinds of things can sometimes release weight off your chest and allow you to display more of your "best self".

As far as approaching girls to build confidence?

I think its the best way. Because you are killing 8 birds with one stone.

When you approach a cute girl, you are working on your:

confidence
vibe
body language
eye-ball language
conversational skills
social skills
quick wit/humor
quick thinking/problem solving

And it builds the right kind of confidence. Confidence in talking to cute girls.

Here is my most current answer:

If fear is controlling your life and you lack confidence..

Get professional help!

Yes, that is my answer. If your fear is paralyzing you and you can barely take action, that is what you need. You can figure it out on your own but that will take alot longer and wil have alot more ups and downs. A professional psychologist or therapist can help you identify your fears, their causes, and how to eliminate them. Those people do this everyday. This will kick start and accelerate your fear elimination process. Try different people and find one that you like. Once you get your fears identified and their roots, you can really get to work. I only did this for about a month when I was a teen but I wish I would have done it more.

I would compare it to getting into game. What would be better? Reading and studying on your own? Or, doing a bootcamp with Roosh?

The bootcamp with Roosh would probably be more helpful. Because he is A PROFESSIONAL!

Spend the money, take the time, get professional help!

Doctors, psychologists, psychiatrists, therapists, counselors, life coaches, puas, etc.

Find the people who are experts at your situation!

Also,

Here are some techniques that I didn't mention in the earlier posts..

1)Google "eliminating fear" and educate yourself

http://www.google.com/search?rlz=1C1CHNY...ating+fear

2)Read books on the subject

Here an author that I like:

http://www.oshoquotes.net/2009/12/osho-q...-of-death/

3) Traveling

For some reason experiencing another far away culture often helps eliminate some fear.

4) Meditation

This means different things to different people. For me, its just getting into a situation where I don't have to think, I can just react and play. I play soccer, basketball, and tennis. I do yoga. I dance. These things allow me to operate without thoughts or fears. These things come mostly from my muscle memory, I don't have to think. This break from fear and thought allows me to just live/play without feeling any fear. I am a guy who sees that there is no reason to be scared. If I am scared, then I am confused by my thoughts. Make sense?

http://www.rooshvforum.network/thread-15400-...#pid259546

[Aliblahba]

I'll post more on this when I can sit still. Be patient. Plager life takes precedence over the forum.

[Wreckingball]

(05-31-2012 09:08 PM)slubu Wrote:  

(05-31-2012 12:24 PM)RichieP Wrote:  

What about situations with bouncers, corrupt cops, groups of thugs, psycho boyfriends with weapons, etc? Or even important situations that demand deft and tact - business disagreements, negotiations, angry customers? Situations where fighting and aggression is either unwinnable or a complete fail and you HAVE to use your verbals to survive or get what you want?

Your first first line of defense, which is also your most powerful, is verbal assertiveness and fluidity, persuasiveness, frame control, etc.

This is what I was talking about. Sadly I couldn't put it in words. Thanks for the book tip. I'll look into some form of boxing training too, though I'll be laughable when I start.

The first time i went to the Boxing/MT gym, i got my ass beat by a 20yo girl.
The first time you do anything is gonna be laughable. Driving, fucking, boxing... it doesn't really matter.

[Aliblahba]

Im gonna write some Athlone level on this shit. Then proof with members local. Time reframe is real.

[el mechanico]

I'm going to say something here...I'm not sure how to build this but would like to know how to get rid of it. I'm waiting and hoping someone will fuck with me at any level most the time. Even when I go to the ghetto smoke shop I pull a wad of cash out but sadly nobody has tried to mug me. I was thinking about this when I read this thread I love it when people come at me because of the outcome is unknown so I get the adrenaline rush I need. Still here though so maybe you need to understand you're dealing with pussies most the time even though you don't know it. You can trust me on this 99.9% will back down if you have no fear.

[Nascimento]

(03-17-2013 10:20 PM)el mechanico Wrote:  

I'm going to say something here...I'm not sure how to build this but would like to know how to get rid of it. I'm waiting and hoping someone will fuck with me at any level most the time. Even when I go to the ghetto smoke shop I pull a wad of cash out but sadly nobody has tried to mug me. I was thinking about this when I read this thread I love it when people come at me because of the outcome is unknown so I get the adrenaline rush I need. Still here though so maybe you need to understand you're dealing with pussies most the time even though you don't know it. You can trust me on this 99.9% will back down if you have no fear.

Adopting this mindset is definitely something I strive for. But what happens when you try to establish this mindset, and you end up standing up against a 6'3 jacked drunk brawler who throws a punch and knocks you out?

I guess that isn't so bad. Fight club mentality, right? Some would say getting beat up makes you stronger. And I really would love to experience that, in a controlled setting. But what if this drunk guy doesn't stop, sits on top of you and keeps pounding away for however long necessary to deal some extreme damage until someone steps in?

I see fights from time to time on the streets at the club/bar scene I frequent. Cops don't show up until after 2am when the bars close, and bouncers just watch. Although my buddies would step in before something like this got extreme, I don't want to rely on it.

Of course, an extreme situation that has less than 1% chance of actually happening to me, but I still think about it.

[el mechanico]

(03-19-2013 03:12 PM)Nascimento Wrote:  

(03-17-2013 10:20 PM)el mechanico Wrote:  

I'm going to say something here...I'm not sure how to build this but would like to know how to get rid of it. I'm waiting and hoping someone will fuck with me at any level most the time. Even when I go to the ghetto smoke shop I pull a wad of cash out but sadly nobody has tried to mug me. I was thinking about this when I read this thread I love it when people come at me because of the outcome is unknown so I get the adrenaline rush I need. Still here though so maybe you need to understand you're dealing with pussies most the time even though you don't know it. You can trust me on this 99.9% will back down if you have no fear.

Adopting this mindset is definitely something I strive for. But what happens when you try to establish this mindset, and you end up standing up against a 6'3 jacked drunk brawler who throws a punch and knocks you out?

I guess that isn't so bad. Fight club mentality, right? Some would say getting beat up makes you stronger. And I really would love to experience that, in a controlled setting. But what if this drunk guy doesn't stop, sits on top of you and keeps pounding away for however long necessary to deal some extreme damage until someone steps in?

I see fights from time to time on the streets at the club/bar scene I frequent. Cops don't show up until after 2am when the bars close, and bouncers just watch. Although my buddies would step in before something like this got extreme, I don't want to rely on it.

Of course, an extreme situation that has less than 1% chance of actually happening to me, but I still think about it.

Quote:

Adopting this mindset is definitely something I strive for. But what happens when you try to establish this mindset, and you end up standing up against a 6'3 jacked drunk brawler who throws a punch and knocks you out?

I dont think like that. I just think this dick is pissing me off. Anyway most dudes who know how to brawl don't so chances are the 6'3 jacked dude has never been in a real fight with an experienced bar brawler.

Also never leave the club to fight some drunk dude. Get your licks in and get the fuck out. Don't stop to talk to the bouncers. The first response of someone is to gather friends and take it outside which gives his crew a chance to sucker punch you. You should be at another bar by then.

If I had to give advice to someone I would say learn how to wrestle first or whatever martial art teaches it primarily. If that 6'3 jacked dude wants to punch and you wrestle good he's done for. I've done this literally thousands of times at the local bars here. Monday and Wednesday nights fight night. It was karaoke for money and it turned out we were stealing all the pussy so the neighboring townies would bring more dudes every week then we would go to there bars to steal some more. It was a blast. I have permanent teeth marks on my stomach from it though. Two bouncers from the other bar came and held both my arms while the dude I had on the floor latched on to me with his teeth. I was pissed. Went to the place they worked at on speed and coffee as soon as the bartender saw me she dialed 911 but it was too late I rushed him at the door and dragged him out the back and smashed his face into the dumpster a few times and had a girl waiting in a running car. This shit amplified my pussy factor even though it wasn't my intent. This shit went on for about 6 years but still if you go in these places someone will fuck with you in about 30 minutes every time. Ali-B got a chance to hang in some of them but the people liked him for some reason maybe he can chime in here..

[Aliblahba]

People do like me, but I was playing nice in Emech's domain due to having a fractured ankle. I was no position to fight. He's not kidding though. I talked to a lot of people that knows him.

These days I try to avoid confrontation. Unless you are in a solid position not to get in trouble, it's best to avoid. And most of the time the pussy dries up for me when fighting. If someone really does punk me out bad enough, or pull a weapon and I have to walk, I'll catch them later. Time reframe.

[Locksmith]

My suggestion is to cultivate nerves of steel and to express both in verbal and non-verbal action that you're completely calm.

Someone with violent intentions will be, usually, more freaked out if you confront him, looking straight in his eyes, with complete serenity, undisturbed.

That's something he's not expecting, it brings uneasiness and surprise, because he's trying to impose the rules of engagement, and you're instead confusing him by not accepting them. If you can, don't let your opponent set the rules, the place, the timing, the weapons of engagement.

Calm fearlessness is for me, personally, the best statement of superiority, and it has an intimidating effect if your posture is right. It also diminishes psychologically the importance of your opponent in his own perception of himself.

I could definitely try to kill someone, but I'd use violence only as a last resort, in a life or death situation. Usually it's really not worth the hassle and what you'll get from it as a result. Plus in Brazil bad guys usually carry a gun, which is also something to be taken into account.

In fact, today, this very morning, I was approached by a very aggressive big guy who claimed he was an ex-convict from prison. And he also screamed that he was about to do something foolish. Guys who have absolutely nothing to lose are of the most dangerous sort, that's for sure.

My workers all stepped aside and I confronted this guy, looking him in the eyes, listening to his disgraceful story, keeping a safe distance, letting him do most of the talking. And I spoke very slowly and calmly in reply.

As for his demands for money and emergency help I didn't say No, I only slightly turned my head in disapproval, almost as if I were his father who had catched him doing something wrong.

By winning enough time and partly defusing his explosion of anger I managed to win the game. I also very slowly and naturally lead the talking to a visible spot on the crowded sidewalk, which further intimidated the guy.

Finally, by not becoming his enemy in an open or violent confrontation, I'm less prone to have unpleasant surprises in the future.

[DVY]

I partied in SF with all sorts of people- ghetto to SWPL crowds to the Castro(gay/straight/tranny/wtvr).

Only times Ive gotten issues is tiny Asian/white girls wanting to fight me (why is this is an issue in America?) and little gay dudes trying to punk me after I talk to the straight girl in their group.

Seems like most people try to avoid trouble for the most part, and will take a lipstick apology even if insincere.

[Nascimento]

I just remembered this video, Man versus Lion: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eWkLqlhxJuw

The man dominates the lion and gets the lion to leave the area, all by being non reactive. What happens here is if one threatens, and the other responds, they fight, with one coming out a winner. If one threatens, and the other doesn't respond, there will be a stalemate, where either a fight will result or one will leave, conquered.

The beta threatens, the alpha stands his ground, unreactive, the beta leaves in submission.

I could see this working in most situations for humans. The bro that shouts aggressively and tries to intimidate will in most cases end up backing off when he sees that he cannot intimidate the confident guy that might even be smaller than him, who is not reacting, and has strong body language (laid back, relaxed eyes, relaxed voice tone).

Still to be experimented.

[el mechanico]

(03-20-2013 04:53 PM)Nascimento Wrote:  

I just remembered this video, Man versus Lion: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eWkLqlhxJuw

The man dominates the lion and gets the lion to leave the area, all by being non reactive. What happens here is if one threatens, and the other responds, they fight, with one coming out a winner. If one threatens, and the other doesn't respond, there will be a stalemate, where either a fight will result or one will leave, conquered.

The beta threatens, the alpha stands his ground, unreactive, the beta leaves in submission.

I could see this working in most situations for humans. The bro that shouts aggressively and tries to intimidate will in most cases end up backing off when he sees that he cannot intimidate the confident guy that might even be smaller than him, who is not reacting, and has strong body language (laid back, relaxed eyes, relaxed voice tone).

Still to be experimented.

Sometimes but, that same guy who should back off goes in too far where you have to take care of him. You can waive your arms and yell from a few feet away but what happens if you dont react is they get bold and come closer. Most the time they don't really know what they're doing and end up on the floor for peacocking. This is the big difference between punks and people who will fuck you up.

[Aliblahba]

Here's an example of time reframe:

Yesterday I was on biz, and my GPS landed me on a ghetto street in on the side of Downtown Atlanta. I pulled over to get my bearings, and a group of 6-8 15-16 y.o. gangbangers came up to my passenger window. I never fully looked up, and continued with my GPS. They were seeing if my door was unlocked, which it wasn't. I continued to ignore for a few more moments, then without looking up, reached over and rolled down the window a few inches with the control on the driver door.

The leader said some ghetto shit which I ignored. A few moments later, one got nervous and said, "Fuck this, he's too big". Now the ball is in my court. Another said I was a cop. Then the leader asked. Finally I look up, lean over, pickup my phone and say boldly but calmly, "Why, you need me to call you assistance?"

That was it. They bailed, talking about how they weren't fucking with no off duty cop.

And there we have it. They expected a different reaction, and on their timeline, which I smacked down and put them on mine.

Questions?

[el mechanico]

(03-22-2013 12:15 PM)Aliblahba Wrote:  

Here's an example of time reframe:

Yesterday I was on biz, and my GPS landed me on a ghetto street in on the side of Downtown Atlanta. I pulled over to get my bearings, and a group of 6-8 15-16 y.o. gangbangers came up to my passenger window. I never fully looked up, and continued with my GPS. They were seeing if my door was unlocked, which it wasn't. I continued to ignore for a few more moments, then without looking up, reached over and rolled down the window a few inches with the control on the driver door.

The leader said some ghetto shit which I ignored. A few moments later, one got nervous and said, "Fuck this, he's too big". Now the ball is in my court. Another said I was a cop. Then the leader asked. Finally I look up, lean over, pickup my phone and say boldly but calmly, "Why, you need me to call you assistance?"

That was it. They bailed, talking about how they weren't fucking with no off duty cop.

And there we have it. They expected a different reaction, and on their timeline, which I smacked down and put them on mine.

Questions?

Seeing if your door was locked as in pull the handle???? Try that shit with me and you're fucking road pizza!!

[Aliblahba]

^^^ Yeah they were trying to be slick with the handle. Had it been unlocked they'd have made a stab for my electronics at least. They also would have gotten an eye gouged out with the Zebra F-402 pen I was holding.

I'm back at the house for a bit. Time to pick up some better defense items. The legalities of fucking up a bunch of minors would have been a headache. This is why I avoid downtown. My girlfriend couldn't believe how calm I was when I picked her up. I've been face to face with far greater threats.

[MrXY]

(03-12-2013 09:23 PM)Mark Minter Wrote:  

So I am starting to think that men that work at Game, start to succeed at Game, have a continually increasing level of testosterone and women know it, both in the mannerism of the men, the way they look, and I think they can actually smell it.

I believe this too. I think women's brains can pick up on signals in a man's body postures, movements, facial expression, voice and his scent that indicates his T level and other hormones and physiological states as well. A lot of it is subtle and operates at a subconscious level in the women. Game in some ways attempts to teach men to replicate these signals, but as a man gets better at Game, his success with women leads to stronger Inner Game and a more masculine physiological state which in turn leads to more success with women in a virtuous cycle.

[Nascimento]

Looking for an analysis and feedback on my reaction. Did I do well? Could I have done better?

The first time something like this ever happened to me.

Today I was walking in a basement building hallway, heading to back to my locker on campus after finishing up at the gym. There was a small group of 4 people talking, cutting some space off in the hallway, so naturally I walked by them where there was a gap. At the same time, some guy coming from the other side walked by and I bumped into him hard shoulder-shoulder. I wasn't paying attention, thinking in my head but at the same time I probably didn't try to avoid it and expected him to move instead.

I kept walking and I heard from behind me '.. fucking pussy'. It took my two seconds to snap out of my train of thought and realize he said this to me. I turned around and he had stopped walking and turned back staring me down. I laughed as I said 'are you serious? hahaha' and looked at him for a few seconds then turned around and kept walking. My locker was just around the corner, so I turn, walk down the short hallway and start opening my locker..

As I'm thinking about the event, I see him walking towards me. He's walking pretty slow so I don't feel threatened, but still I prepare mentally for a worst case scenario. He stops about 2 meters away from me while I'm still facing the locker:

'Clearly you saw there was a group there leaving a smaller amount of space, but that is enough for two people. Two people.'

I don't remember exactly. It's almost as if I shut everything out considering a possible confrontation. I just remember his tone not fully being aggressive, but being argumentative and potentially threatening.

'You could have moved but you chose not to. You should have moved.'

At this point I stop playing around with my lock and learn against the wall, with my chin up, maintain eye contact, and reply briefly and relaxed.

'Nah.'

He said a couple other things. What he said exactly is now a blur. I remember using 'nah' and 'you're making a big deal out of this' once or twice though.

This lasted 30 seconds and then he walked away, visibly irritated.

If this had turned out to be a physical confrontation, I would have probably lost. He had a few inches height on me and probably 20-30 pounds as well. I think it's important that I was ready in case it happened, I didn't get scared and I fully accepted it could have gotten physical. This is not something I could have done in the past. I've always avoided situations like this before. A year ago I would have probably apologized.

[MikeCF]

^ Unless a guy deliberately shoulder checks me, I always apologize.

After all, it was an accident. A simple, "my bad bro" goes a long way.

And I don't have to apologize. It's just something men in a civilized world should do.

The trick to confrontations is to be confrontational at the right place and right time.

If someone checks me, there will be a big problem. For him. If someone doesn't want to accept my apology and wants to elevate things, cool.

But when I cut someone off in traffic or when someone lets me in, I always give them the "wave" to let them know all is well in the world.

And I always give a "my bad bro" when there's an accidental bump.

It doesn't make me beta or supplicating. It makes me civilized.

[Nascimento]

Although I've always been one to be passive in confrontational situations, even though I'm building up more confidence and standing my ground (a few scenarios on nights out for instance, nothing has escalated yet) I've never and I am not one to go around creating confrontations for no reason.

Often times I get shoulder checked at the club (maybe once a night) and although my typical response is instant anger and maybe consider reacting against it, it's also very common that the guy instantly apologizes and I just say it's cool and give him a shake.

This is probably the first time I've deliberately checked someone. Or maybe it was him? Not sure maybe he was expecting that I move just like I expected him. But then again I wasn't really paying attention I didn't even notice the guy until we touched shoulders.

Quote:

The trick to confrontations is to be confrontational at the right place and right time.

I'll keep this in mind, thanks.