[balistik12345]

I started texting a girl who I met in Bio class last semester. I hit her up because I happened to see her at my Gym 2 days ago. I told her that she looked really good at the Gym. She didn't respond to that but continued texting. After texting back and forth I told her directly that I think she is attractive and that want to hang out with her. She responded "I'm just looking for friends right now I've got alot of things going on but we could always catch lunch together or something." I know for sure she works 2 jobs and goes to school. When I first met her she didnt have a boyfriend and still doesn't. She's been in living here for about a year now.

Anyway point is how should I approach this? How should I respond to the text?

[tjames]

You called her attractive, that's mistake #1. She has already friend zoned you, she told you that she only wants friends and sees you as a friend. The fact she wants to get lunch or something means she wants you to take her to somewhere she wants to go too and have you pay for it all while you get to listen to her boring shaggy dog stories. The fact that she has such a heavy workload and no boyfriend suggests she has a low sex drive or just gets pumped and dumped. She's a future career woman and possible single mom for sure. How often do you text this girl? Does she ever intiate contact? If the answer to the latter is yes, then you MAY be able to get out of the friend zone but it is unlikely. Why this girl in particular what makes her so special?

[balistik12345]

Don't get me wrong I'm talking to different chicks right now and approaching more all time. Plus I have two in rotation. She used to smile at me all the time class so I opened her with the let's study angle. But basically she's nice curvy thick little white chick with a bubble butt and a cute face and I know she likes to stay fit. My city is tough I moved to a city in TN from Cali. I'm a black guy and have always fucked and dated white girls. But its tough out here so I try not let any slip by. But hear ya I may have fucked it up already by being to direct and telling her she's attractive.

[balistik12345]

To answer your questions? This is my second time ever texting her. Last time was 3 or 4 months ago. She once texted me but I think it was an accident. She was asking a coworker about picking up an extra shift in the message. I didn't respond or correct her or anything. But that's about it. Without texting her I'll probably still see her at the Gym and school next sem. I'm not hung up on this chick just wanted to see what to do in this situation and possibly how to handle it/ not create this problem in the future.

[Sketness]

[Gmac]

(05-26-2012 07:23 PM)balistik12345 Wrote:  

I started texting a girl who I met in Bio class last semester. I hit her up because I happened to see her at my Gym 2 days ago. I told her that she looked really good at the Gym. She didn't respond to that but continued texting. After texting back and forth I told her directly that I think she is attractive and that want to hang out with her. She responded "I'm just looking for friends right now I've got alot of things going on but we could always catch lunch together or something." I know for sure she works 2 jobs and goes to school. When I first met her she didnt have a boyfriend and still doesn't. She's been in living here for about a year now.

Anyway point is how should I approach this? How should I respond to the text?

You're already friend zoned. She wants a free lunch. Give up on this one and move on.

Your last text to her was 3-4 months ago? Wake up man.

[balistik12345]

Originally when we talked I tried to get her to let me come over/ get her over to my place but she said she was already dressed for bed etc.. and turned it down, but said maybe another night. Then she dropped the class so I never saw her there again. So I pretty much took that initial rejection and never followed up with her. Should I have continued to push further at that time? I didnt text her again cause I wanted her to initiate a text but of course it never happened. The only reason I tried to reintiate now was cause I saw her at the gym doing the splits so I wanted to make an attempt at getting in that.

I'm sure this all goes back to flaws in my game in general cause I'm almost certain she had some level of initial attraction when I first got her number.

But I hear you guys this is going nowhere so fuck it, I'll chalk it up.

Thanks for the input. Appreciate the vid too.

[Veloce]

Okay, this isn't just about friend zone.

Think about game like a movie. There's the introduction, character development, plot development, climax, ending, etc, and all the shit in between.

It's okay to call a woman attractive (under rare circumstances but it's possible). It's okay to ask her to come over. But what you're doing is fucking up the script. You're cherry picking these moves way out of sequence.

Step back, look at the big picture. Why should she be attracted enough to want to come over? Have you done anything to build attraction? Has she shown you any signs that she wants to come over and fuck? If not, then don't ask her to come over.

I believe almost anything is salvageable. Read some Bang, read through the forums, and if you interact with this chick again, start the movie again from the very beginning. When I was first getting into game, this happened to me. I'd move too fast or play my cards out of sequence. So I'd start over and in a few instances I was able to bang chicks that I thought I'd fucked things up with. And if not, learn for the future.

My best way of dealing with friend zoning is not acknowledging its existence. While I do have a few female friends, we're talking 3. And 2 of them have gotten me laid. In my mind, female friends don't exist, so therefor friend zone doesn't exist. I don't hang out with girls just to hang out, I sure as SHIT don't buy lunch for anyone but myself, and if I'm spending time with a girl it's to get her in bed. If she's not cool with that then she's history.

[el mechanico]

Let me have a go at this. Text her what I say exactly and either grenade or get laid.

[balistik12345]

(05-26-2012 10:34 PM)el mechanico Wrote:  

Let me have a go at this. Text her what I say exactly and either grenade or get laid.

Yea shoot...I'll do it

[el mechanico]

Type out your last texts and I'll pick up and where are you? US? South?

[balistik12345]

(After a few texts about nothing...talking about the Gym and shit)

Me: I want to tell you I think you are a very attractive lady and you seem cool and down to earth. I'd like to hang out with you and get to know you better.

Her: I'm just looking for friends right now. I've got a lot going on but we could always catch a lunch together or something.

Me: Yea I need someone to help me explore these places around here to eat I keep hearing about. I just hope you chew with your mouth closed...if you have food falling out of your mouth I'm gonna act like I don't know you.

Her: Haha good for you lol I believe in manners

[balistik12345]

(05-26-2012 10:39 PM)el mechanico Wrote:  

Type out your last texts and I'll pick up and where are you? US? South?

Yea I'm in the US. TN

[el mechanico]

That's pretty bad. Ok just send " Lol" and see if she bites..If she does don't respond yet

[Veloce]

Not to beat a dead horse or make you feel bad dude, but:

"I want to tell you I think you are a very attractive lady and you seem cool and down to earth"

This is painful to read. The vast majority of guys have had a massively beta phase in their life, usually in the younger days, god knows I did. But please, at least internalize the fact that this phrase should never, ever, be uttered or texted towards a female.

I'm going to play devil's advocate here. A lot of guys on here are going to tell you to fuck as many girls as possible, but it's clear you want an LTR. No woman in any Western society is going to respond well to open statements of affection like that. The golden rule of LTRs is: the person who cares least controls the relationship the most. The second rule is there is always one person who wants their partner more than vice versa. Obviously, you want her to want you more than you want her.

The funny thing is your line about her having manners isn't bad. If you would have maintained a playful teasing tone like that the entire time your outcome might have been different. You might have some decent game in you, it just seems like you need some editing.

Emech, have at it.

[el mechanico]

"I want to tell you I think you are a very attractive lady and you seem cool and dtf er.. I mean earth

Yeah it's bad but nothing is ever over.

[balistik12345]

Yep my game is lame as fuck. Basically I fucked 3 girls in high school starting when I was 17. Then became a "christian" when I was 19. The next woman I had sex with I married. I was only 20. I'm 33 now. We've been living separately for over a year (initiated by me). Divorce papers are filed so just waiting to finalize it now.

So I definitely have a long way to go but trust me I want to make up for lost time and fuck the type of women I believe I deserve for at least the next 10 years before even thinking about settling down. My game is just weak and my experience is low. I've managed to fuck 6 girls since my separation but basically I get by on my decent looks and physique. However whenever I try to step up the quality of woman (physical beauty) I fail because my looks are not enough to move things further.

Suggestions given will be put into practice. I'm going to keep pushing forward, getting experience, and developing myself.

[balistik12345]

(05-26-2012 11:35 PM)el mechanico Wrote:  

"I want to tell you I think you are a very attractive lady and you seem cool and dtf er.. I mean earth

Yeah it's bad but nothing is ever over.

Sent her the "lol" no bite.

[tjames]

I'm going to play devil's advocate and say throw in the towel on this one man. Go cold turkey on her and if she wants you she'll start contacting you, when she does act aloof and alpha -- read Roissy's blog for tips on this. If you don't get her, then you don't it's all a learning experience. It's her lost if you are a successful good-looking guy(no homo) and she turns you down.

[Gmac]

(05-26-2012 09:59 PM)balistik12345 Wrote:  

Originally when we talked I tried to get her to let me come over/ get her over to my place but she said she was already dressed for bed etc.. and turned it down, but said maybe another night. Then she dropped the class so I never saw her there again. So I pretty much took that initial rejection and never followed up with her. Should I have continued to push further at that time? I didnt text her again cause I wanted her to initiate a text but of course it never happened. The only reason I tried to reintiate now was cause I saw her at the gym doing the splits so I wanted to make an attempt at getting in that.

I'm sure this all goes back to flaws in my game in general cause I'm almost certain she had some level of initial attraction when I first got her number.

But I hear you guys this is going nowhere so fuck it, I'll chalk it up.

Thanks for the input. Appreciate the vid too.

Look I'm going to tell you how I see it. You still have a lot of work to do. On yourself, your appearance, your facade, your confidence. Your inner game. This is much bigger than just worrying about getting friendzoned. You are the guy who gets friendzoned because you are "that guy." Stop being that guy, make changes in your life. I can gather all of this just based on the way you type, because I was there.

[balistik12345]

(05-27-2012 12:16 PM)Gmac Wrote:  

(05-26-2012 09:59 PM)balistik12345 Wrote:  

Originally when we talked I tried to get her to let me come over/ get her over to my place but she said she was already dressed for bed etc.. and turned it down, but said maybe another night. Then she dropped the class so I never saw her there again. So I pretty much took that initial rejection and never followed up with her. Should I have continued to push further at that time? I didnt text her again cause I wanted her to initiate a text but of course it never happened. The only reason I tried to reintiate now was cause I saw her at the gym doing the splits so I wanted to make an attempt at getting in that.

I'm sure this all goes back to flaws in my game in general cause I'm almost certain she had some level of initial attraction when I first got her number.

But I hear you guys this is going nowhere so fuck it, I'll chalk it up.

Thanks for the input. Appreciate the vid too.

Look I'm going to tell you how I see it. You still have a lot of work to do. On yourself, your appearance, your facade, your confidence. Your inner game. This is much bigger than just worrying about getting friendzoned. You are the guy who gets friendzoned because you are "that guy." Stop being that guy, make changes in your life. I can gather all of this just based on the way you type, because I was there.

Really? Just from the way I type? Elaborate...be brutally honest please. Where do I start? What steps do I take? What you say is the truth. I read. I try to change. I'm really sick of being "that guy". I don't want to lose any more time in my life on being pathetic

[kosko]

I used to always slime broads I was friend-zoned with back in the day before I knew game. How I was dubvious to think that the more I hanged around women the more they wanted me I had a rolling feet of female friends I would party with. The catch was that I alwaysh ad diffrent teirs for them:

A) some broads I had no interest in and were just my friends

others,

B) I found hot and just wanted to be around to help up my presence

or,

C) I was all beta and mushy towards and was so strategic and paranoid around them I never ended up getting shit.

But I always ended up slaying the broads in group B. Any time we partied I was just myself and was a fool and would go after other girls, I guess deep down this got their inner hamster going because "I always always percived as that fun guy who gets all the girls". It was only a matter of time before I weaseled my way into group B's pants, I never really planned for it... it just happened when the chance came up.

So now looking back just play the game on them. Be the aloof kat whom isn't really interested and just looking to have a "good merry time".

Just drop this chic if she does re-surface go "hang out", go get liquored up and celebrate something like a new job or whatever, invite her into your group and break off, or just go get shit faced or something and control the environment fully. The stiffed dude she perceived as being all about her and predictable and wanting her will flip, to the dude she wishes she would of took more time to know back in the day. Then next time around attack. She won't resist... I guarantee it. You will have to play mad mind games for her to rationalize her defeat but once that outs the way you could probably fuck her in a park.

I literally have a fleet of women I really just randomly appear into their lives now and then. I really don't keep contact with them because I don't care too. I just re-surface and let them know about the crazy life I am living in the big city then we go out and get drunk and fool around. Never has failed. They have no idea I was a slave to school books and broke as fuck.. you create that reality for them and shape your narrative. Don't be predictable and don't play things safe. That's what I have picked up since a year in the game.

But hey.. my style is sleazy and thrift but I make no qualms.

[alphaspiraton]

Those text messages were so painful to read but I was doing those just over a year ago so I feel you there. How did I spend the last good year of my life changing it all around? I started hanging out with those people that constantly get laid. I hit up some old friends (from facebook, and also asking other their contacts) from HIGHSCHOOL. Those who I thought were getting laid are still getting laid like champs. So I hit them up and said hey if you're around the area, let's go grab a drink, let's catch up, first rounds on me. I even offered to take this one guy to a strip club and paid for his lapdance. I have been hanging out with a lot of people and that's how my lifestyle has changed; I've become more like them whether or not I like it. Instead of being lazy on a saturday night I go out. For instance, I went to shoot some pool with 3 russian guys (2 of them I haven't seen in like 6 years) last night. They're some pretty fun motherfuckers and they also have hot girlfriends from time to time.

I've also made some changes in my personal life. I hit the gym more regularly, I am focused on my career more (studying for a designation exam right now), and generally learning to appreciate everything else in life. Just focus on yourself and self improvement and I assure you that girls will come into your life. Plus if you have your own place, even better.

For text messages, the biggest thing you have to learn is to make sure you don't type anything longer than her, no matter what. And take the time to respond even if you have to force it.

When I first started I wanted to get my hands on every single "pua" material I could find. But it served me much much MUCH better to just hang out with people who are getting laid. Just see what they do and how they don't pedestalize women. If you are ever going to dish out money for anything just get Roosh's bang. It has some pretty good date game. But over time, make it your own.

Just be open to meeting women anywhere and everywhere; this is one of the biggest things I learned. In the past 2 weeks, I've met a cute 21 year old from craigslist (makeout, but no bang); another girl from Jack Astor's (bang); and a couple others from an alumni event from my university (2 numbers, no dates yet). Of course my numbers could be higher but I am mainly focused on other things in life particularly my career.

Women just come and go. And no individual girl is worth it. Never forget that.

[Smitty]

(05-27-2012 12:43 PM)balistik12345 Wrote:  

Where do I start? What steps do I take?

For quick starters, read this:
http://www.rooshv.com/the-roosh-program

and this:
http://www.rooshv.com/does-success-mostl...confidence

[kosko]

(05-27-2012 01:52 PM)alphaspiraton Wrote:  

Those text messages were so painful to read but I was doing those just over a year ago so I feel you there. How did I spend the last good year of my life changing it all around? I started hanging out with those people that constantly get laid. I hit up some old friends (from facebook, and also asking other their contacts) from HIGHSCHOOL. Those who I thought were getting laid are still getting laid like champs. So I hit them up and said hey if you're around the area, let's go grab a drink, let's catch up, first rounds on me. I even offered to take this one guy to a strip club and paid for his lapdance. I have been hanging out with a lot of people and that's how my lifestyle has changed; I've become more like them whether or not I like it. Instead of being lazy on a saturday night I go out. For instance, I went to shoot some pool with 3 russian guys (2 of them I haven't seen in like 6 years) last night. They're some pretty fun motherfuckers and they also have hot girlfriends from time to time.

I've also made some changes in my personal life. I hit the gym more regularly, I am focused on my career more (studying for a designation exam right now), and generally learning to appreciate everything else in life. Just focus on yourself and self improvement and I assure you that girls will come into your life. Plus if you have your own place, even better.

For text messages, the biggest thing you have to learn is to make sure you don't type anything longer than her, no matter what. And take the time to respond even if you have to force it.

When I first started I wanted to get my hands on every single "pua" material I could find. But it served me much much MUCH better to just hang out with people who are getting laid. Just see what they do and how they don't pedestalize women. If you are ever going to dish out money for anything just get Roosh's bang. It has some pretty good date game. But over time, make it your own.

Just be open to meeting women anywhere and everywhere; this is one of the biggest things I learned. In the past 2 weeks, I've met a cute 21 year old from craigslist (makeout, but no bang); another girl from Jack Astor's (bang); and a couple others from an alumni event from my university (2 numbers, no dates yet). Of course my numbers could be higher but I am mainly focused on other things in life particularly my career.

Women just come and go. And no individual girl is worth it. Never forget that.

I finally learned this the hard way after I burned through 3 consecutive prospects. I took the text guide to literally and just ignored females texts then got to the point where it got to late to respond. Females for sure notice this, there has to be a balance between not giving a fuck and not being a ass with texting for sure.