[gds555]

Ever since I was around 18, I've had a fantasy of going to a musical, choreographic, or theatrical performance, seeing a woman on stage who I don't know and who I find myself starting to feel attracted to, introducing myself to her after the performance, and banging her that night or at the latest the following day. I'm not even necessarily thinking of a big performance: it'd be fine with me if it were a minor performance with an audience of only a few dozen people or even less, and in fact I think that in some ways that kind of situation might be particularly enjoyable. I haven't carried this fantasy of mine out yet, although I've come close a couple of times.

Of course this scenario is fairly easy for a female audience member to accomplish with a heterosexual male performer; but when the sexes are reversed, the dynamics are somewhat different even if the basic outlines of the situation are the same. As more and more psychologists, sociologists, and anthropologists are recognizing these days, musical, choreographic, and theatrical performances are, in large measure, forms of neurological showing-off for mating purposes. A person who gets up on stage and sings, plays an instrument, conducts, dances, and/or acts is essentially saying to the world, "Look at me! I'm beautiful and well-coordinated and smart and healthy! You could have good-quality children with me!" Women are especially attracted to these relatively gentle forms of neurological self-demonstration, as are men of a more feminine kind, which is why gay men are so disproportionately prevalent in the performing arts. (Macho men, on the other hand, are more prone--though certainly not exclusively prone--to choose combat and other kinds of fighting, and/or violent sports, as their preferred way to demonstrate their neurological fitness, along with demonstrating their courage and resilience and strength.)

What this means, among other things, is that a woman who's just finished a successful live performance has just committed what may be one of the greatest acts of DHV she'll ever commit in her life, and so her self-esteem and her expectations of high-quality male attention may be near their zenith. She may well be thinking at that point that she fully deserves to have a tall, dark, handsome millionaire or billionaire present himself to her and sweep her off her feet. If you're a male audience member who fits that description you may have a good chance with her; but if you're just an average or even somewhat above-average audience member, you may be facing a tough challenge. It's that challenge, combined with my knowledge that at least on some deep level (and maybe on some closer-to-the-surface levels as well), the woman is advertising herself sexually to the men in the audience, that fascinates me about this scenario.

On the other hand, if the woman has just given a lousy performance, she may be in need of reassurance and easy to bang. I've seen that state of mind in a woman at least once.

Has anybody here successfully gamed a performer--one you didn't know beforehand--post-performance? Does anybody have any additional thoughts on this?

[soup]

This is a big switcheroo on guys.. getting turned on by performer chicks.

I have been guilty of this.

Here's what I think: Performing is a more masculine activity. Men are the ones who need to perform to increase their value. When women perform, they are imitating men (this is Hitchens' argument against women being funny).

That said, being attracted to female performers doesn't make you gay. I think guys who are into masculine women are aroused because they sense the sluttiness that comes along that a girl with a higher testosterone level. Why is this more arousing? Because, as Roissy pointed out a while back, men will concentrate their energy on available women instead of the more beautiful women who are actually harder to bang.

So, to me, it means that you have a low opinion of yourself or your ability to attract higher quality women. You're attracted to the performer girl because you subconsciously think she's easier to get than a more attractive, feminine woman. This is a pre-game, anti-abundance mindset.

[Dagonet]

The key is to game her like normal. Downplay her "stardom", tease her and sporadically ignore her. You should be in total Don Draper mode: dry, stoic, unimpressed, but amused enough by her to have a conversation. Throw in some wit and cockiness to make her laugh. The fact that you aren't a sycophant who is pedestalizing her like everyone else will make your seduction even more potent than usual.

[gds555]

soup: As I think my original post makes at least somewhat clear, I disagree with your assertion that "[p]erforming is a more masculine activity". Both sexes perform, but women (and men with somewhat feminine characteristics) have a greater interest in aesthetic forms of performance such as music, dance, and drama, whereas the majority of men have a greater interest in athletic and military performance. (By "military performance" I mean military activity insofar as it functions as a form of display for mating purposes, as distinct from its utilitarian function.) Comedy is an exception to that pattern, because comedy has much more of an edge of masculine aggressiveness than most of the other performing arts. I'd say, though, that considered at the most general level, performing is a more feminine activity, since it's largely a symbolic activity, and I think women are more interested in engaging in symbolic activities than men, who lean more towards practical activities.

I think your sentence "That said, being attracted to female performers doesn't make you gay" reflects a misreading and misunderstanding of my sentence "Women are especially attracted to these relatively gentle forms of neurological self-demonstration, as are men of a more feminine kind, which is why gay men are so disproportionately prevalent in the performing arts". I didn't write that sentence clearly enough, and I'd revise it if I could. What I meant to say was "Women are especially attracted to participating in these relatively gentle forms of neurological self-demonstration, as are men of a more feminine kind, which is why gay men are so disproportionately prevalent as participants in the performing arts".

I absolutely don't think of female performers as masculine and "easy". In fact, I think of them as highly feminine and potentially extraordinarily difficult to get. If you think otherwise, here's an exercise for you: Go to Atlanta next weekend and try to game and bang Chinese pianist Yuja Wang after one of her performances of Rachmaninoff's Third Piano Concerto with the Atlanta Symphony; or try doing it after one of her performances of the same piece with the San Francisco Symphony in mid June. Call me naive, but somehow I don't think you'll get very far.

[iknowexactly]

(05-12-2012 02:19 AM)gds555 Wrote:  

soup: As I think my original post makes at least somewhat

I think your sentence "That said, being attracted to female performers doesn't make you gay" reflects a misreading and misunderstanding of my sentence "Women are especially attracted to these relatively gentle forms of neurological self-demonstration, as are men of a more feminine kind, which is why gay men are so disproportionately prevalent in the performing arts".

I absolutely don't think of female performers as masculine and "easy". If you think otherwise, here's an exercise for you: Go to Atlanta next weekend and try to game and bang Chinese pianist Yuja Wang after one of her performances of Rachmaninoff's Third Piano Concerto with the Atlanta Symphony; or try doing it after one of her performances of the same piece with the San Francisco Symphony in mid June. Call me naive, but somehow I don't think you'll get very far.

I agree with your refutation of the criticism that you lack "the abundance mindset" which is a vague and lazy concept more likely to be used by upwardly mobile real estate agents than people who are at all interesting. At least you know who Yuja Wang is, instead of listening with your bros to horrible "songs" about guys in love with their "nines".

If one looks back at history, there are all sorts of cross-cultural examples of women showing fitness by performing, including the one used in the Scheherazade classical composition, and dancing women in the Christian Bible.

The idea that something is not valid idea because it conflicts with "game" and "abundance mindset" is hilariously limited pop psychology.

If I read and believe "The Secret"; will a Rolls Royce appear in my driveway? Oh, all right, a Mercedes?

To answer your question, I think there's a big value differential you have to overcome, but you might be able to find out a lot about someone from their online publicity; if a chicks in a pop band she'll often be dating one of the musicians ( usually eventually fucking most of the band, drummer first.) If she's lonely which is pretty unlikely, you'll be able to read between the lines.

Note Sara McLaughlin; one of the greatest pop singers, married and had kids with her Indian drummer, got cheated on by him and divorced, and was devastated. LIke one of the girls asked in SATC about a man with whom a sister was hesitant, "Is he a bartender or a drummer?"

[HiFlo]

very hot. talented girls are super attractive.

the saying is "like attracts like"

If u do anythin similar, make a big deal of it like ur a "performer" too. definitely. put yourself on the same page.

[soup]

I'm a musician, and most of the musician women I know have a masculine edge. They also give off a strong sexual vibe. I'd argue that, historically speaking, performing arts evolved originated out of sacrificial traditions, which were not very feminine. That is why is great performances always have a sense of danger to them. I'm also going to conjecture that men who are attracted to women because of a woman's competence as a performer, or for her "powerful/strong" personality or stage presence, might have some kind of mommy issues.

So, I disagree with your assertion that being a performing artist is more feminine. In Shakespeare's day, women were not allowed to be actors. And, the whole thing behind there being not many "fem" guys in the military- well, let's see how that changes now that they've changed don't ask, don't tell. Also, it is believed that the Greeks had a gay influence in their military.

And, I don't consider any chick playing Rachmaninoff to be that feminine. You can take one quick glance at Yuja Wang (I would bang). and see that she's got the slut vibe I'm talking about. And, look, her digit ratio isn't all that feminine: