[DareP]

Hey Guys,

I've been going out about 4-5 nights a week for the last 6 weeks. I feel like my game has made a huge jump. I've pulled once, made out with a hot blond girl last night (no pull) and have a few dates lined up. One thing I've noticed is that my thinking has gradually but surely shifted away from "how do I approach this girl" to "how do I approach this night."

At first, most of my attention was focused on trying to make the "set" go well. Now most of my attention is just on getting from not being in state at the beginning of the night to being in state by the middle of the night.

My night typically goes something like this:

Pre-Game: Nervous. My heart's pounding a little. The "pre-game approach anxiety" kicks in about 30 minutes before I'm in the club, as I'm sitting on the train realizing I'm about to talk to girls.

Get in the club: Feel nervous, feel pressure to talk to girls.

Approach #1 to Approach #3: Tend to talk to chubby girls, "safe" girls or girls who seem friendly or non threatening. Usually I find one set and just stand there talking to them about rapport-type stuff. I'll hang out with girls I'm not interested in for a good 10-15 minutes. This just gets me comfortable talking to people who aren't me.

Approach #3 to Approach #5: Approaching girls I'm actually interested in now. Still not "on fire," but not nervous. Walk around the club, feel good, meet people.

Beyond #5: On fire, not thinking, just approaching, escalating, connecting, etc. Usually it takes an hour, maybe two to get to this point. (By the way, I'm not drinking, so it's not me progressively getting more drunk.)

Establishing a standard "this is how a night goes" helps me feel less nervous at the beginning of the night, as I know that's just how it always feels. It also helps me get through those first few approaches, since I know my "destination" of being in state is just a few easy approaches away. The night feels less daunting, easier and more like something I know how to do.

IMO knowing how to manage your state from beginning to end of the night is way more important than thinking about how to approach a specific interaction. Manage your state well and you'll have 20 interactions in a night. Do it poorly and you'll have very few. If you're not in state, it doesn't really matter how well you think you're approaching. Likewise, if you're in state, things will probably go well.

Just a concept I'm playing with. Thoughts?

- Dare

[Gmac]

Good points man. What it all comes down to is, how strong is your inner game? If you go out with the right head on, women are more attracted to you and you feel more confident. It's simple really.

[Giovonny]

Agreed.

How you approach LIFE is the most important thing!

[Senateguy]

I agree totally. It's like once i get through that 3rd and 4th approach it all starts to become a blur and I don't take blow outs personal at all.

I think this is why Roosh talks about doing 10 approaches before you go home for the night.

Solid observation. I have also noticed that the opener I use really has little to no effect. I'm starting to think that the elderly chat used in Day Bang is actually more effective than the opinion opener bullshit that you are taught.

I've been using some plain ass openers such as "Hey....did you go to the University of Florida??" And then they answer no....then I build off that "no" with..."wow...totally blew that... where'd you go to school, you look familiar?"

And then i build off whatever answer they give me.

I think comfort is more important with respect to opening than anything else you do.

[WestCoast]

100% agree with your approach to life being the biggest sign of positive inner game.

I would advise on viewing the night as a "fun day out on the town" instead of "anxiety for picking up women". I got pretty decent at salsa dancing and now view goin out to dance as the goal for the night... The result? 3x increase in numbers and quality of women went up 1 notch

[Prowl]

I've been doing an experiment lately, going out every single night until last call for 2 weeks.

It hasn't killed me yet, and I'm almost done. The BIGGEST change from before I did this to now is my consistency, I'm closing like a champ now so reliably that if it's 1am and I haven't yet, I'm not even stressing (I expect this momentum to erode somewhat when I'm back to a normal schedule, FWIW). The *reason* for this consistency, IMO, is that over the course of my 14-day partython, I've gone from a mindset of "I'm going to go sarge" to "I'm going to go rage my fucking face off and have a great time".

The latter just pulls in girls, and guys for that matter, anyone. I walked into a bar alone last night at 7:30pm alone, waiting for a friend to start the night, he's an hour late, and by the time he gets there I have everyone in the bar pulled together talking to each other like we're all buds, I'm talking to girls setting up dates, some other guy who was there alone is buying us all lemon drop shots, everyone is having a great time, etc. My friend walked in and WTF'd. I didn't go in there to meet girls, I went in there to get a burger with a buddy before we went out, but the mindset of "I'm out, and I'm GOING to have a good time" is very powerful. When I realized he was going to be late, I made the best of it. I wasn't about to sit there for an hour on my phone or whatever.

By the time we got to the bar where we were partying, we'd pulled 3 people from the first bar over, and we walk in talking loud and laughing like we own the place. I am hooking up my friends and outright strangers with girls I'm pulling out of the crowd, and ended up going home with a friend of one of those girls I met 30 minutes before last call.

TL;DR - Don't go out saying "I'm going to do 5 approaches" or "I'm going to K-close". Go out saying "I'm going to have the best fucking time of my life and no one can stop me"......and you will.

[WestCoast]

I think there is a very important distinguishment here though:

"this is going to be the best night ever!"

Versus

"I AM going to make this a great night"

First one is for people who try and fail at goin out saying they are going to pull. The second you take ownership and really just wanna burn that dance floor up and have a wonderful time.

[Giovonny]

(04-04-2012 03:09 PM)Prowl Wrote:  

I've been doing an experiment lately, going out every single night until last call for 2 weeks.

It hasn't killed me yet, and I'm almost done. The BIGGEST change from before I did this to now is my consistency, I'm closing like a champ now so reliably that if it's 1am and I haven't yet, I'm not even stressing (I expect this momentum to erode somewhat when I'm back to a normal schedule, FWIW). The *reason* for this consistency, IMO, is that over the course of my 14-day partython, I've gone from a mindset of "I'm going to go sarge" to "I'm going to go rage my fucking face off and have a great time".

The latter just pulls in girls, and guys for that matter, anyone. I walked into a bar alone last night at 7:30pm alone, waiting for a friend to start the night, he's an hour late, and by the time he gets there I have everyone in the bar pulled together talking to each other like we're all buds, I'm talking to girls setting up dates, some other guy who was there alone is buying us all lemon drop shots, everyone is having a great time, etc. My friend walked in and WTF'd. I didn't go in there to meet girls, I went in there to get a burger with a buddy before we went out, but the mindset of "I'm out, and I'm GOING to have a good time" is very powerful. When I realized he was going to be late, I made the best of it. I wasn't about to sit there for an hour on my phone or whatever.

By the time we got to the bar where we were partying, we'd pulled 3 people from the first bar over, and we walk in talking loud and laughing like we own the place. I am hooking up my friends and outright strangers with girls I'm pulling out of the crowd, and ended up going home with a friend of one of those girls I met 30 minutes before last call.

TL;DR - Don't go out saying "I'm going to do 5 approaches" or "I'm going to K-close". Go out saying "I'm going to have the best fucking time of my life and no one can stop me"......and you will.

I love this. I have really been getting into the linguistics of game. Sort of NLP type stuff. I think word choice can be very important. Tone is obviously very important. Not only when we talk to girls, but also when we talk to ourselves.

"I'm going to go out a do 5 approaches"

Thats a very different tone compared to:

"I'm going to have the best fucking time of my life and no one can stop me"


WHAT YOU SAY TO YOURSELF IS MORE IMPORTANT THEN WHAT YOU SAY TO GIRLS!

[LaCobra]

I always approach girls on the street on my way to the club, so when i get in i´m relaxed.

[Cobra]

We talked about this topic during our last podcast session. Very important to realize that you need to have a good attitude about the night before you go out; not before you approach a girl.

[XXL]

Yes that understanding how the usual night out goes down, what to expect inside and how to navigate through it is very helpful to approach it right and have fun there.

This is why I personally was never a fan of pumping myself before the party. I knew that the whole purpose of the party is to get me pumped. On many occasions I went out bored or feeling down and with time I let loose inside changing my state completely. There is a process that must happen over certain period of time but we can make it happen easily if we want.

I like to divide night out into 2 halfs. What happens in the first half means nothing. People are still getting into the groove and vibe is kind of stiff. Whatever happens then is irrelevant so all the pressure is off. It's time to let loose mingle and expect nothing. Later on things change and then it's time for real action.

Girls' reactions depend on what the time of the night is.

[EmotionalGeek]

(03-02-2014 03:16 PM)LaCobra Wrote:  

I always approach girls on the street on my way to the club, so when i get in i´m relaxed.

What openers do you use in such situation and how do you develop convo from that?

[soup]

OP is spot on. The vibe you feel is the vibe. The night is your priority, not getting laid. At the same time, you have to have your game chops up a lot so that the getting laid will just happen as a result of the party you bring to wherever you go.

[ShotgunUppercuts]

Glad I came in hear and read these posts.

This is something I need to work on

Last time (last night) I went out it was a bit early to a few bars .i had no social anxiety but I was in my head too much to talk to people or the people I wanted to talk to I hesitated and made them feel nervous.

[treypound]

Great advice in this thread for night game. I am curious on anyone's thoughts on nightclub/lounge approaches vs. traditional bar approaches. I tend to close much easier in a traditional bar setting during the middle of the week (vs. the weekend)

[ulterior]

The pussy is only a proxy. It's what outsiders don't understand about Roosh, RSD, Red Pill, gaming, etc. It's admittedly easy to focus myopically on gaming, pulling, getting laid. But the principle that underlies all of it is simple: How you do one thing is how you'll do everything.

[tomzestatlu]

This kind of wisdom is golden truth. When you go somewhere just to get laid at all cost, you end up alone in the end. You have no vibe, you are just desperate guy and it doesn´t matter what you say or how you look... you don´t realize that, but girls feel it. That´s dangerous especially during dry spell.
The key is to enjoy yourself and only let girls take a chance to be part of your great evening.

[Mufasa]

Quote:

Approach #1 to Approach #3: Tend to talk to chubby girls, "safe" girls or girls who seem friendly or non threatening. Usually I find one set and just stand there talking to them about rapport-type stuff. I'll hang out with girls I'm not interested in for a good 10-15 minutes. This just gets me comfortable talking to people who aren't me.

Talk to girls you would like to fuck without the intent of fucking them. The prime is to set yourself up as the prize. You get in hi whats your name, do some teasing and then eject.

Helps get your mind right because by you leaving you are rejecting them (in their mind)--"why doesnt he like talking to me?! how dare he walk away from me!" it doesnt even have to be a good conversation (helps if it is). But the psychological shift is great for you and how you will feel subconsciously about your approaches. If it goes well you can take their/her number down.



Also everyone is right about going out for yourself and not for girls. Girls want to be around fun guys and will position themselves to give you the opportunity to talk to them. Then you find yourself in a position of power where you get to reject and pick who you want.
edit: rejecting/ejecting if one of the most powerful moves in your arsenal imo. since its not something that occurs frequently in a womans life using rejection/ejection causes her subconsciously to question what makes you so different that you can do something no one else in her life does to her. Now she has to chase to figure it out. Same thing occurs when you are having fun and you don't acknowledge a girl orbiting around you. But it can backfires well causing them to leave because they believe youre just not interested.