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Quick Trip Data Sheet: Montego Bay
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Quick Trip Data Sheet: Montego Bay

Went down to Montego Bay for a night last weekend. Overall could be a decent place if you’re into black chicks but I think they’re better places if you’re trying to bang tourists. Stayed in an all inclusive called RIU Montego Bay. Mostly families (about 70% tourists and 30%Jamaicans) but about 7 or 8 groups of different college age single girls. Most were from small town cities in the US or Canada. I got a feeling girls (not just the old ones looking to “rent a rasta” go here to bang local guys) and aren’t that interested in meeting guys from the US.

Spent a decent amount of time hanging around the pool, met a few girls. We tried to round up some to go out with us later that night but most said they were just staying at the hotel. Apparently they were all told it was too dangerous to leave the resort. One of my buddies meets some wasted girl and proceeds to finger her in the pool but eventually told him they couldn’t bang because she had an std. (On a funny side note her friend later on in the night accused us of giving her friend a roofie, I told her if we wanted to roofie someone it would be someone more attractive…haha)

Once we were done with the pool we hit up some of the other bars at the hotel and eventually left to go to the hip strip which was a big mistake. Not because it was dangerous but just lame.
We checked out supposedly the best place for Saturday night which was Margaretville. Which consisted of some tourists dudes, a few tourists girls with dudes and a lot of Jamaicans (a majority girls) There was not one group of unaccompanied female tourists here. If you’re into black girls this place would be a gold mine. They were eye fucking the shit out of us and a few even approached us( I’m pretty sure they weren’t pro’s either). They seemed very down and wanted to talk, one was trying to come back to our hotel to party with us but was just not that cute.

Eventually made it back to the hotel club /bar. Again not a great scene, bunch of people grinding/ long lines for drinks / weird lighting/(dance floor was really well lit for some reason). Most girls we approached had no interest in talking and just wanted to grind. Moves that worked here included: approaching girls dick first and proceed to start grinding with them as well as such moves as grabbing girls that walk by you and pulling them into your crotch. If you’re a dancer or like doing these things you could do well here. Anyways not much luck there and went to the after hours bar at the hotel…slim pickings but start talking to this 20-ish midwest plain white girl. She seemed down but her 2 friends were taking to these 3 local guys and kept pulling her away. Was working her for about 45 minutes and decision time rolled around she decided to go down to the beach with the locals. I was a bit confused/shocked that I lost out to those guys. 2 out of them 3 looked about 17. We walked past them later on the way back to our room and the group of 3 local guys shot up to like 10 and they were all surrounding them competing for their attention(doing handstands and other weird shit like that). I was a bit worried she was going to get Holloway-ed but not my responsibility. Overall had a decent time and some good laughs but would skip unless you are into black chicks or are a black guy. Actually if I was a black guy I would go down there and tell girls I was Jamaican but live in the US now. It fulfills there need for some strange but also might give them comfort that you’re not a full on broke local.

In terms of food and drink both were very low quality at the RIU. They didn’t even have jerk chicken… Actually had a hard time getting drunk even after drinking all day, they definitely seem to water down there drinks.
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