Quote: (04-14-2019 12:09 AM)BlueMark Wrote:
Here are some questions for those of you who are married:
(1) am I right to be concerned about this in advance?
(2) should I avoid going back to my home town? Upsides include parents being there to support me and and very good job opportunities (but I already make good enough money). Downsides are the feminist/PC/SJW culture as embodied by my friends, and terrible divorce laws.
(3) any tips on building a social circle from where I am currently at (busy professional living in a new city) would be appreciated. Meeting people through work is an option. There are plenty of people I can meet socially whom I will never work with, but keep in mind that my company culture is very SJW too.
I'm not going to be married for at least a few years, but given the poor shape of my social circles, it makes sense to start preparing a social foundation.
I am not married but around the same age (35). I live in a major U.S. city that votes 2-1 Democratic. The suburbs of this city are red, but since I live in the central city and do most of my mating in the city, I have a lot of exposure to left ideology. I have to deal with social circle stuff as well.
First off, it's right to be concerned about this stuff. In my specific case, I've let my social circle slip since age 30-31. A few friends moved away, and I have never bothered to replace them. Since turning 18, there has never been a time where I had a social circle that was worthy of a large time investment. Most social circles are pretty lousy. It's a better time investment to be focused on game. With good game, social circle becomes irrelevant. And game does not end once a relationship has been established. Retention is also a part of game.
If you happen to be in a longer relationship, you don't have to go to these meaningless social functions. Most social functions are boring. The focus should be the two of you and keeping a healthy sex life.
I would avoid going back to the city where you spend your formative years. If you had remained in that city from ages 18-34, you'd have an ok social life but since you haven't, I would say staying in your current city is better. You are on this forum, so you are game aware, and your job in the current city is fine. Uprooting your life right now doesn't seem to make a lot of sense.
Are there any sports that you have had a history with playing? You can meet people through sports leagues. For me, tennis has been that sport. I started playing tennis before puberty, so I had a solid base of hours already in before adulthood and more responsibilities. I don't know if I would recommend taking on a new sport at this time, because I'm not sure that you have enough hours available to get good at it and really enjoy it. Golf is another good one for meeting people. Racquetball, hunting, and fishing are some other options.