Quote: (10-09-2015 05:32 AM)CJ_W Wrote:
This is good, I had things to say to this but, I can't find the words.
Thanks.
No need.
Peace will come in time. The mental resilience I forged in blood and fire by facing death head on so many times means I no longer experience the five stages when a loved one dies: there is simply the stoic acceptance that we were sharing a journey for a while, but they're arrived at their destination, and I'm honoured that, for a while, I had such damn pleasant company.
It doesn't mean I don't feel sadness, but it's both a rich and sweet sadness, one that my shoulders are broad enough to bear without stumbling.
Feminists would call this emotional strength 'toxic masculinity' and say that not breaking down into hysteria means you're 'repressing' unhealthy emotions that will eventually explode in an uncontrolled burst. This is the legacy of sub-100 IQ ex-hippie women entering the psychology field in the 70's and filtering everything through their vaginas, thinking you need to 'talk' about everything. Internal stillness is not repression: it's a healthy acceptance of the reality of what you can and can't control. Once you understand that about Death - the big one - most other random obstacles that comes your way in life are much easier to navigate. I only get phased when shit is really, really disturbing now.
For now, though, talk to professional help if you need it. There's no shame in it.