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San Pancho, Mexico: Travel Report
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San Pancho, Mexico: Travel Report

I will preface this report by saying that this was not a standard trip for me. I was in the wedding line of a good friend of mine whom was getting married down there. His fiancee comes from big Texas oil money, so almost everything was paid for (except my ticket down there). Having said that, here we go...

I flew from Seattle in to Puerto Vallarta. From Pto Vallarta we drove an hour north, beyond Suyulita to a little village called San Pancho (on the map, it's called San Francisco) where we had a beach house waiting for us. San Pancho is the prototypical small Mexican village and very much local. There were eleven of us in one house, but the house was more than enough for us. Freaking sick pad. I think it rented for about $600 a night.

Since we're all big fly fishermen, this trip was basically a fishing trip disguised as a wedding. On day one, two friends and I took a panga (small boat) and got into some needlefish and triggerfish on a chartreuse and white baitfish pattern. Catching a saltwater fish on a flyrod is truly an experience, and I highly recommend it to anybody.

I was disappointed at the lack of available women who came for the wedding. All the Texas women were there with their husbands. In fact, I think I was the only single guy there. There was one girl on the bride's side that had the potential for a good seducing. I put in the leg work by focusing on her mom and dad for the entire first evening in order to soften things up. At first I thought she was single, but it turns out she had a boyfriend. I didn't really care, to be honest.

On night two, her and I were hanging on the beach drinking and what not. It was a delicate situation, as I didn't want to press things too much since I had the whole week ahead of me. I was looking at it as a marathon, and not a sprint. Anyway, I was getting really good vibes through her body language and she was also kino-ing me, albeit very slightly. This other douchebag was hanging with us and wouldn't go to bed. So she went to the bathroom and I asked Todd why he was cockblocking me. In his defense, he is so base that he didn't even really know that he was in my hair. Night two failure.

Long story short, things fizzled between her and I for the rest of the week as the wedding and it's related events were being ramped up. Chalk it up I guess.

Unfortunately, I didn't have much time to venture out on my own. I was in the wedding party, so there were a lot things that I was expected to be a part of, events-wise. Three different fishing excursions, dinners, rehearsals, the wedding itself, the reception, farewell dinner, yada yada yada.

Hung out in Suyulita for an afternoon and surfed. The surf there is decent, and I know they have an international comp there every year. It's way more gringo in Suyulita too. If there is one aspect of my game that I need to work on, it is definitely the beach cold approach. Had a couple of crash and burns. I thought one girl was a light-skinned Mexican, and I struck up a convo in Spanish. Turned out she was from Belgium and didn't speak English or Spanish. Go figure.

It was La Dia de Muertos down there. That was waaaaay cool. Again, I was hamstrung that night by a group dinner. At the time, I was kind of bummed about all the shit that I had to attend. I mean, I wanted to get out there and seduce. But I accepted the nature of the trip and rolled with it.

Most people flew out on Sunday, but me and my two travel companions (my buddy and his gf) weren't flying out until Monday. So we left San Pancho and drove back to Puerto Vallarta. Finally, I could get out there and do my thing.

Puerto Vallarta is disgustingly gringo. To me, it's kind of a kitschy place. Very expensive, and should definitely serve as a jumping off point if you're travelling on the cheap. Struck up a convo with a gringo at breakfast and he invited me over to his table. Turns out the guy was from Portland and had moved his family down there about 8 months ago after becoming fed up with the states.

He said that when he first arrived, he got a place for a month for about $200. Super cheap, but super dirty. I think it would serve as a pretty decent home base. Food and drinks were expensive, and I paid more in Pto Vallarta than I do at home. A mojito was like 6 bucks, and a meal averaged around $15-$20.

Went out to a club on my last night there and tore it up. I was so on-point it was sick. My Spanish was tight after being there for a week (I took three years in high school and a year in college and it came back to me pretty quickly). So I was able to talk well enough to get my point across in a large, crowded club. I had this one girl going pretty good, but the gringo patrol was out in full force. The shot girl kept coming up to me and pouring shots down my throat. In about the blink of an eye, I went from functioning gringo to blithering idiot. And it's really too bad because things were really on track with her. Don't remember her name, but she had eyes that you wouldn't believe. Solid eight.

That night we stayed in a hotel right on the beach that was about 100 USD. Meh. Like I said earlier though, cheap lodging can be found and one place we saw was like 20 USD. So the opportunity for a cheap stay is there.

All in all, the trip was nothing short of fantastic. I caught a nice Mahi Mahi, Dorado, 100 lb Yellowfin, a Rooster fish, and a few others. I definitely crossed off some life goals this trip.

I could see myself being in San Pancho for a month. If there is a room in Pto Vallarta for a month for $200, then I'm sure there are places in San Pancho with similar rents (if not much cheaper). It really is an awesome place.

Well, that's pretty much it. I'm off to Colorado and Vegas in the next two weeks, then I leave for Lesotho in southern Africa sometime before xmas.

Fortune favors the bold.
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