[JohnKreese]

So I know that Bacon has an excellent thread on his vasectomy procedure including the stuff he had to do leading up to it, as well as the aftermath, but considering the content of this forum, one thread doesn’t seem like NEARLY enough. As such, I’d like to provide my own personal account.

One thing to keep in mind is that I JUST had the procedure done yesterday. I’ll be updating at regular intervals to convey and “milestones” (can’t wait till that sperm count comes back at “N/A”) or any kinds of irregularities or complications (hopefully, I won’t have any of these).

Why I Wanted to Do IT

I haven’t wanted to have kids since I was probably in high school or early college. They always seemed to be such a drag and I always figured life could be more fun without them. Plus, I have an older sibling who is just a total dredge on society. My parents did a great job of raising us, but, some things are just out of your control and I wouldn’t ever want to go through what they have put up with for years. As I got older, I have just wanted kids less and less. The culture, media, society is such that even if you do the best job of raising your kid, you’re still no match for the constant in-your-face TV shows, commercials, bullshit on the internet, bullshit schooling, other shitty kids, that children are bombarded with these days. I’ll probably never live full-time in another country, so the option of a foreign family on foreign soil isn’t realistic for me. No kids it is!

I had thought about the procedure for roughly 3 or 4 years and had done some research on the topic, but I was always too busy (or convinced myself that I was too busy) to follow through. However, over the past year and change, I have, through the discovery of the forum amongst other things, have greatly upped my monthly notch count. I don’t like condoms. I don’t like pulling out. I don’t like relying on girls to take their pills. I don’t trust girls’ word that they don’t want kids “right now”. Long story short, it’s the smart thing to do, given my lifestyle.

Researching It/Procedure Costs

I have never had any major medical problems and I have only been to the doctor for physicals and THIS LITTLE ISSUE over the past years so I have the cheapest (albeit still pretty decent) medical insurance that my company provides. As this isn’t a “major” or “required” medical procedure, it was not covered at all. Shopping around, I researched places that would do it for as cheap as $720 after all expenses were tabulated, but I went to a place that was closer to me, more intimate (only 3 guys performing the procedure as opposed to a corporate law firm’s amount of doctors), and guys specializing in ONLY the no-needle, no-scalpel procedure. As such, I paid a little bit more (total cost of the procedure was $795).

Banking Soldiers/Banking Costs

Before contacting the clinic, I decided that I would play it safe and bank some soldiers just in case I had some mid-life revelation or some other bullshit longing to pass along the genes. Again, I researched around and came upon a company called Cryochoice. The great thing about this company is that I was able to get just about all of the info I needed from the website and then had the last few questions I needed answered done so over a 10 minute-phone conversation. Also, they send the “kit(s)” to you; you don’t have to go to some random building and jack off in a cup a few times over a few weeks (sorry Bacon). The way it works is, you decide how many “kits” you want to purchase. They suggest that you order at least two to make sure that you “produce” enough and they actually send two out regardless, but they actually test your first result, inform you of your “production” and then give you the option of just throwing the other one away if you decide that you’ve got enough stored up (they don’t charge you for the extra one). I went with this route as they claim that it takes between 1-3 “vials” (the unit of sperm measurement) to knock a girl up via artificial insemination. The average guy produces 5 vials. Of course, I produced 8 . That was enough for me. I threw away the other kit and they charged me $600 for the testing, storage, etc. for the first year. Next year, and every year thereafter, I will be charged $140…not bad for the peace of mind.

The actual collection process was a tad complicated, but not so much so. You have to abstain from sex or spanking for at least 3 days before your “collection”. Prior to that day, you locate the FedEx in your area that has the latest pickup and try to time your collection process to about an hour before that is. You jizz in the cup, put in a solution that keeps it fresh for awhile, seal it up and take it to the FedEx (the packaging is already done up for you).

Within 12 hours, I got receipt that they had received my sample. Roughly 4 hours later I had my counts e-mailed to me. They get pretty technical, showing total volume, motility, etc. with a final vial count and analysis of the overall quality of your sample (mine was “very good”). They make themselves available to further explain these numbers if you feel the need.

Contacting the Clinic/Consultation

With this part of the process out of the way, I contacted the urology clinic to schedule my snip job. Because I was using insurance (the $795 is actually being credited towards next year’s deductible), I had to go to the clinic twice, once for them to file/process the insurance and for my consultation, once for the procedure. I could have just gone one time for consultation and the procedure had I not used insurance. I went ahead and made dates for both the consultation (last Friday) and the procedure (yesterday).

I get to the urology clinic and am the youngest guy by at least 30 years, it was pretty amusing. From the looks on the other people’s faces, they all knew what was up. I fill out the general form and the vasectomy-specific form (about 80 percent of which I answered “N/A” for with questions like “How does your wife feel?” “How many kids do you have”). I get called back and the nurse does the typical, blood pressure, ask about allergies, etc. Doctor comes in a minute later and is a young guy, like me. He skips over a lot of the basics as I have already researched and just asks if I’m sure (yes), if I’d ever talked to my parents about it (yes), know that it can be reversible (yes). I talk about my frozen soldiers and he informs me that reversibles are normally actually cheaper, which was news to me, but, they obviously aren’t always successful. He let me know that his colleague does the most number of reversals of anyone in the state (foreshadowing?). At this point, he has me drop my pants to get a look at what he is gonna be working with, gives me a prescription (2 loritabs, one 1 hour before the procedure, 1 5 hours after) and tells me no aspirin or anything similar for the week.

Procedure

Week flies by and although I’m a tad nervous (DON’T WATCH ANY OF THE VIDEOS OF THE SURGERY WHEN CONSIERING THE PROCEDURE) I’m feeling pretty good. Ordered a jockstrap for additional support/comfort for after surgery + a few days and a good icepack. Had a good friend of mine drive me (forum member Isaac Jordan volunteered, but I knew that he would have had too much fun with it) as it is required that you have someone do so. Take my loritab and am feeling a bit more relaxed. Get called back about 45 minutes late, but its ok. VERY cute nurse gets me to undress and starts cleaning/disinfecting my entire dick and ball area (highlight was “Is this hurting you” which I replied “No, it actually feels great!”). She leaves and the doctor comes and gets to work. He is actually a cool guy and, as I said before, is close to my age, so we talk about his college and medical school experiences throughout the procedure. Yes! you are conscious and awake throughout. Yes! it is not so uncomfortable that having a conversation is unbearable. To be honest, the only real “pain” is the initial shots that he puts in each ball to numb them up. It feels like someone is pinching your balls with their fingernails. This lasts only a few seconds. After this, I could feel some pulling and some sloshing around, but it was the equivalent of a couple SLIGHT jabs to the nuts. It did take a little longer than I expected, but it may have just felt longer. It was still only about 15 minutes long from when he started to when the nurse came back to put some neosporene on the tiny hole.

After the Procedure/To Be Continued

I was a tad tender, but no real pain, just sort of an awkward and “heavy balls” kind of feeling. I put the jock on (I never wore one when I played sports, weird feeling) and got dressed. Lady at the front gave me the doctor’s prescription (20 hyrocodone pills, loving those babies!) and I was out of there. Friend drove me to the pharmacy, dropped off the prescription, and we actually ate dinner while waiting for it to fill. I wasn’t really uncomfortable at all. Got the pills, got back to my place, put on a movie and spent the night rotating ice packs on my balls, watching a movie, and responding to texts from friends and girls wanting to know about my “condition” and if they could do anything to help…bless ‘em. Pills worked great and icing really helped. Again, no pain and no real discomfort. Got up to piss, and that has been fine. Fell asleep and may have had the best night’s rest that I’ve had in months. Woke up today with no pain and resumed the icing. Keeping the jock on for another day just to be safe and probably won’t try spanking for another couple of days.

Overall, the experience has been great thus far. I have covered my bases, and, come 8-10 weeks from now, I’ll be shooting blanks. The procedure was surprisingly pain-free and the recovery has been even MORE surprisingly pain/soreness-free. I feel like I should be able to resume ALL normal activity by the middle of next week. As I said before, I will update as things arise. Please let me know if I can answer any of your questions.