A lot going on here
1. How you feel about your 10 years being out of the game
2. Your boner-itis on fucking this one girl
3. Your misunderstanding of what game is
4. What you can do about it with this girl
5. what you can do in the future.
1. Period of Involuntary Celibacy.
This was voluntary celibacy. The only way you can be InCel, is if you're in a coma or disfigured.
Plugging out from the world of women and relationships after lack of success is kinda the norm. It's probably on the far end of the spectrum, but there are plenty of regular dudes that can't get with any girl, much less the girl they really want. So they basically stick to working, porn, and drinking beer.
They don't know how to get girls And it's something that you pretty much have to learn. Women learn how to get people to do things for them from an early age, and our society enforces that everyone serves women. That's how they're socialized.
She asks for it, she gets it.
Men on the other hand, are socialized to do everything themselves because no one is going to give it to them.
Naturals and people who study game, peel back this socialization. They get in the habit of putting themselves in situations where they have to ask people for things. In our circumstance, we're asking women to open their mouths and legs for us, as opposed to moving a couch up 4 flights of stairs.
But outside of the dating game, men generally have a problem with asking people for things. It's something in our culture that we have to learn to do. We're taught to be self reliant. And when we do work together, it's in a team, with a rigid hierarchy, where every man has a role.
Back to your issues - you really need to talk to someone about it. Maybe not a close friend, but a neutral party that will listen and facilitate you speaking from your heart about your experiences.
Once it's out of your system, (it'll never truly be out), you then have own it.
Most game dudes will have you reframe it, but I think you should own it, warts and all.
But you own it. You don't need to show it off to others.
Your game will improve when you embrace yourself, flaws and all.
If you continue to have that inner view that you're some kind of a loser, an untouchable, it will hold you back.
2. You really want to fuck this girl
And she's using this testosterone desire to hold you by the dick and lead you around.
Betas have one-itis.
Players have boner-itis.
You want to fuck a chick so bad that you'll do just about anything to get in her pants.
It makes you forget what game is.
Which leads me to point 3
3. You're misunderstanding game.
Game isn't about having the right answer to her questions.
It's not about having snappy one liners and great comebacks for every situation.
That's what game is portrayed as, gift of gab, unflappable, motor mouth, damn near freestyling like a 90's era West Coast Mc.
Game is about getting HER TO ANSWER YOUR QUESTIONS.
Right now she's got you on the defense, and you're scrambling to pass each and every test she throws out.
You're not going to sink your dick into her snatch by having crisp statements that assuage all of her concerns.
You've got to turn the tables.
4. Tactics for this girl, and this line of questioning
A chick that's asking your past relationships, and you ain't been fucking bitches left and right, is looking for a reason to disqualify you.
This works on 2 levels
a) no girl wants a guy that no other girl wants (the exact opposite of how we look at it. If a chick is fine to me, big titties, nice face, nice ass - I don't need anyone else's approval. We are the independent sex, they are the dependent)
b) she can say something to you that puts you into an emotional tail spin - i.e. you're not strong mentally.
You are the rock, she is the storm.
You are the big soft grizzly bear that she can cuddle up next to and feel small and weak and protected.
If someone that's half your size and 1/4 your strength can defeat you mentally, what happens when you face something really tough? How can she depend on a weakling?
So in general to get past any sort of shit test - you have to interrogate the interrogator.
a) I've dated black guys before
- either you're not a black guy, and she's testing your Alpha to see if you're scared of her past and don't think you measure up
- you are a black guy - and she's saying that "you black guys are only after 1 thing"
In both cases, you say
- really
- how many
- how'd they catch your eye
- what'd they say
- how'd they compare to your regular guy
- did they just fuck you and leave
- and you went on with a second one? (slight disapproval)
- that's what you like though, you like being treated like a sex machine sometimes
- you like that they can see you for who you truly are, what you truly are...
- don't lie to me
You're trying to get her to admit to her true nature, cause you see it.
You want to get those memories flowing about her previous hook ups and affairs
You're taking control of the conversation, you're getting her to relive vivid things, you're guiding her down a path.
This is your job as a player.
To commandeer the interaction and make it go your way.
She's not going to ever be delighted calling the shots.
b) I had a kid at 13
She wants you to judge her for it, or give your undying Beta support for being a strong single mom.
You can dismiss, you can agree and amplify, you can ignore.
But you can also call her out on her motives.
"You tell everyone that?"
"what kind of reactions do you get"
"how do you feel about those reactions"
"you want me to judge you, so that you can judge me for judging you"
"are you trying to push me away"
"you gonna clam up on me now?"
"you realize now that you're not fucking with some boy, you're fucking with a man"
"are you ready to be real with me"
All these chicks throwing shit tests are trying to get you to "buy into their frame" - which basically means you're going to agree to the tone and possible reactions to her conversation by coloring within the lines, the lines of the picture that she sets and she controls.
c) Why don't you have a girlfriend?
Typical responses
- look at my options
- why don't you have a husband
- why do I need one
All that shit buys into her frame.
I'm gonna throw 2 options at you how to answer.
Option A - a playful option
Option B - the player option
Option A
U - "You really want to know?"
H - "Yes"
U - "Are you sure"
H- "Yes!"
U - "Are you really sure?"
H- "YES GOD DAMMIT YES"
And this is where you make up story and lie your ass off.
Because I'm a tad bit sadistic, i'll talk about a beautiful woman, the exact opposite of what she is.
I'll build this up, "what kind of girls do you think I like? But what kind of girls go for me"
She says X and Y.
"give me your hand"
*hold her hand the entire time*
You nod your head, and you then describe the almost perfect broad in your mind.
"She had alabaster skin, freckles, and...
*describe how you met*
*make it funny*
*meet her friends, they grill you*
*she meets your friends, they hi five you*
*meet the parents*
*she cooks, cleans, fucks, sucks, and is pretty good at call of duty*
*start getting serious*
*start saving up for a ring*
*you're just about to ask her to marry you*
She gets killed in a car crash.
*look away from her and longingly off into the distance*
"You believe in love don't you?"
"I guess you also believe bullshit too right?"
Start laughing.
Break the dramatic tension, and she starts laughing and hating you and laughing with you....
Again, standard game techniques of rich language, story telling, emotional leverage, persuasion.
Option B
"what did you ask me"
*she repeats*
"Say it slowly, so I can be sure"
*she repeats*
*change your mood and tone from mildly annoyed to deeply serious*
"look me in the eye, and ask me that question again"
*she repeats - but your change in tone and body language has shifted the power*
now you switch the conversation and retake the frame
"give me your hands" (always work in kino/physical touch in any pick up situation)
*take her hands, put your index fingers/thumbs on her wrists and feel her pulse*
"Why do you want to delve into my soul"
"Why do you want to take a close look at my heart"
"are you just making conversation?"
^^
This is where you begin basically breaking down her motivation for asking the question.
At no point are you going to tell her ANYTHING about you.
This is an exploration of HER.
You will start asking her questions.
You're winning when she runs out of good answers.
You've now got control of the conversation, she's seeking your approval.
She's investing.
5. Looking forward?
You need to get a handle on your past. You've got to come to grips with it and own it. Now I might not celebrate it and tell very Tomasina, Ricki, and Jane- because you don't want to give a girl a reason to disqualify you. But get to a point where you're cool with your past. It's tough and probably a daily battle at first.
Get a chick on the defensive asap. You'll be better off in the long run knowing how to run a conversation where you want it to go.
WIA
1. How you feel about your 10 years being out of the game
2. Your boner-itis on fucking this one girl
3. Your misunderstanding of what game is
4. What you can do about it with this girl
5. what you can do in the future.
1. Period of Involuntary Celibacy.
This was voluntary celibacy. The only way you can be InCel, is if you're in a coma or disfigured.
Plugging out from the world of women and relationships after lack of success is kinda the norm. It's probably on the far end of the spectrum, but there are plenty of regular dudes that can't get with any girl, much less the girl they really want. So they basically stick to working, porn, and drinking beer.
They don't know how to get girls And it's something that you pretty much have to learn. Women learn how to get people to do things for them from an early age, and our society enforces that everyone serves women. That's how they're socialized.
She asks for it, she gets it.
Men on the other hand, are socialized to do everything themselves because no one is going to give it to them.
Naturals and people who study game, peel back this socialization. They get in the habit of putting themselves in situations where they have to ask people for things. In our circumstance, we're asking women to open their mouths and legs for us, as opposed to moving a couch up 4 flights of stairs.
But outside of the dating game, men generally have a problem with asking people for things. It's something in our culture that we have to learn to do. We're taught to be self reliant. And when we do work together, it's in a team, with a rigid hierarchy, where every man has a role.
Back to your issues - you really need to talk to someone about it. Maybe not a close friend, but a neutral party that will listen and facilitate you speaking from your heart about your experiences.
Once it's out of your system, (it'll never truly be out), you then have own it.
Most game dudes will have you reframe it, but I think you should own it, warts and all.
But you own it. You don't need to show it off to others.
Your game will improve when you embrace yourself, flaws and all.
If you continue to have that inner view that you're some kind of a loser, an untouchable, it will hold you back.
2. You really want to fuck this girl
And she's using this testosterone desire to hold you by the dick and lead you around.
Betas have one-itis.
Players have boner-itis.
You want to fuck a chick so bad that you'll do just about anything to get in her pants.
It makes you forget what game is.
Which leads me to point 3
3. You're misunderstanding game.
Game isn't about having the right answer to her questions.
It's not about having snappy one liners and great comebacks for every situation.
That's what game is portrayed as, gift of gab, unflappable, motor mouth, damn near freestyling like a 90's era West Coast Mc.
Game is about getting HER TO ANSWER YOUR QUESTIONS.
Right now she's got you on the defense, and you're scrambling to pass each and every test she throws out.
You're not going to sink your dick into her snatch by having crisp statements that assuage all of her concerns.
You've got to turn the tables.
4. Tactics for this girl, and this line of questioning
A chick that's asking your past relationships, and you ain't been fucking bitches left and right, is looking for a reason to disqualify you.
This works on 2 levels
a) no girl wants a guy that no other girl wants (the exact opposite of how we look at it. If a chick is fine to me, big titties, nice face, nice ass - I don't need anyone else's approval. We are the independent sex, they are the dependent)
b) she can say something to you that puts you into an emotional tail spin - i.e. you're not strong mentally.
You are the rock, she is the storm.
You are the big soft grizzly bear that she can cuddle up next to and feel small and weak and protected.
If someone that's half your size and 1/4 your strength can defeat you mentally, what happens when you face something really tough? How can she depend on a weakling?
So in general to get past any sort of shit test - you have to interrogate the interrogator.
a) I've dated black guys before
- either you're not a black guy, and she's testing your Alpha to see if you're scared of her past and don't think you measure up
- you are a black guy - and she's saying that "you black guys are only after 1 thing"
In both cases, you say
- really
- how many
- how'd they catch your eye
- what'd they say
- how'd they compare to your regular guy
- did they just fuck you and leave
- and you went on with a second one? (slight disapproval)
- that's what you like though, you like being treated like a sex machine sometimes
- you like that they can see you for who you truly are, what you truly are...
- don't lie to me
You're trying to get her to admit to her true nature, cause you see it.
You want to get those memories flowing about her previous hook ups and affairs
You're taking control of the conversation, you're getting her to relive vivid things, you're guiding her down a path.
This is your job as a player.
To commandeer the interaction and make it go your way.
She's not going to ever be delighted calling the shots.
b) I had a kid at 13
She wants you to judge her for it, or give your undying Beta support for being a strong single mom.
You can dismiss, you can agree and amplify, you can ignore.
But you can also call her out on her motives.
"You tell everyone that?"
"what kind of reactions do you get"
"how do you feel about those reactions"
"you want me to judge you, so that you can judge me for judging you"
"are you trying to push me away"
"you gonna clam up on me now?"
"you realize now that you're not fucking with some boy, you're fucking with a man"
"are you ready to be real with me"
All these chicks throwing shit tests are trying to get you to "buy into their frame" - which basically means you're going to agree to the tone and possible reactions to her conversation by coloring within the lines, the lines of the picture that she sets and she controls.
c) Why don't you have a girlfriend?
Typical responses
- look at my options
- why don't you have a husband
- why do I need one
All that shit buys into her frame.
I'm gonna throw 2 options at you how to answer.
Option A - a playful option
Option B - the player option
Option A
U - "You really want to know?"
H - "Yes"
U - "Are you sure"
H- "Yes!"
U - "Are you really sure?"
H- "YES GOD DAMMIT YES"
And this is where you make up story and lie your ass off.
Because I'm a tad bit sadistic, i'll talk about a beautiful woman, the exact opposite of what she is.
I'll build this up, "what kind of girls do you think I like? But what kind of girls go for me"
She says X and Y.
"give me your hand"
*hold her hand the entire time*
You nod your head, and you then describe the almost perfect broad in your mind.
"She had alabaster skin, freckles, and...
*describe how you met*
*make it funny*
*meet her friends, they grill you*
*she meets your friends, they hi five you*
*meet the parents*
*she cooks, cleans, fucks, sucks, and is pretty good at call of duty*
*start getting serious*
*start saving up for a ring*
*you're just about to ask her to marry you*
She gets killed in a car crash.
*look away from her and longingly off into the distance*
"You believe in love don't you?"
"I guess you also believe bullshit too right?"
Start laughing.
Break the dramatic tension, and she starts laughing and hating you and laughing with you....
Again, standard game techniques of rich language, story telling, emotional leverage, persuasion.
Option B
"what did you ask me"
*she repeats*
"Say it slowly, so I can be sure"
*she repeats*
*change your mood and tone from mildly annoyed to deeply serious*
"look me in the eye, and ask me that question again"
*she repeats - but your change in tone and body language has shifted the power*
now you switch the conversation and retake the frame
"give me your hands" (always work in kino/physical touch in any pick up situation)
*take her hands, put your index fingers/thumbs on her wrists and feel her pulse*
"Why do you want to delve into my soul"
"Why do you want to take a close look at my heart"
"are you just making conversation?"
^^
This is where you begin basically breaking down her motivation for asking the question.
At no point are you going to tell her ANYTHING about you.
This is an exploration of HER.
You will start asking her questions.
You're winning when she runs out of good answers.
You've now got control of the conversation, she's seeking your approval.
She's investing.
5. Looking forward?
You need to get a handle on your past. You've got to come to grips with it and own it. Now I might not celebrate it and tell very Tomasina, Ricki, and Jane- because you don't want to give a girl a reason to disqualify you. But get to a point where you're cool with your past. It's tough and probably a daily battle at first.
Get a chick on the defensive asap. You'll be better off in the long run knowing how to run a conversation where you want it to go.
WIA