[2Wycked]

Fatso is a Norwegian movie, released in 2008, about a fat, ugly man who cannot get laid. I will use the movie and its plot and characters to analyze the narcissism of the beta male – as typified by the main character, Rino, in the movie. I will also draw on Dr. Robert Glover’s book “No More Mister Nice Guy,” as through which a lens to understand why these sorts of males exist.



The movie opens with Rino in a grocery store. Already, we can tell he is fat, unattractive and tremendously awkward – especially with women. He clearly has a crush on the cute blond at the checkout line – but has negative game and even trips when leaving the store. Immediately, we are hit with a cartoon spiff. Rino makes and draws a series of cartoons in which his alter-ego – Captain Cock – either does things he won’t do in real life or is a scapegoat for the guilt Rino feels about his sexual feelings and desires. In the initial cartoon, a bunch of cops show up and arrest him for having a hard-on. They interrogate him for watching tons of porn and visiting sex-chat sites. In a bit of foreshadowing, the cops solve his “problem” of having sexual impulses by castrating him.

Zooming back to real life, we see Rino illustrating the exact cartoon sketch he just laid out. A ring at the door and we see him hurrying through his house – porn on the computer screen, his living room littered with Coke bottles, beer cans and a pizza box. Then, in comes Rino’s clearly narcissistic best friend – skinny, ugly and looking like he stumbled out of bad 1970’s porno. He comes in and immediately begins riffing about his tight game and banging asthmatic chicks. They go out the bar and he brags about banging a 53 year-old woman.

Another important take-away from the movie is still in the first ten minutes. Rino’s dad comes in – with a kid- and is seemingly gay. Regardless, he has the air of a man who can’t understand why Rino is the way he is. He has the usual parental exhortations – why can’t you get a girlfriend? Why aren’t you ambitious? Rino’s horrible insecurities most assuredly were partially gifted by this man. In any event, the main point of the movie is how Rino will get along with a Swedish roommate – a young attractive blond named Marlin. A match made in hell.



She moves in and immediately I got the impression of a breezy, superficial party girl. She is bubbly and bright towards Rino, which catches him completely off guard because no woman has ever treated him as such. Early on, there are some funny and sad scenes, when one of Marlin’s friends catches Rino trying on some of Marlin’s clothes. They are very amused, as they can tell this man has no experience with women.

It continues in this vein, as Rino interacts with Marlin and her friends – many funny scenes come about through this. However, two strands of the movie appear. One, is Marlin’s increasing reliance on Rino emotionally. Rino trys to the play simp “pity me game,” which gets her to hug him, gets her to confess feelings about stuff to her and gets her to cuddle with him and all that. For the moment, the male hamster is satisfied. The second, is his relationship with his best friend. His best friend is a rank narcissist. He uses Rino as little more than some pathetic guy he can boast to about banging old women, hookers and selling dope to kids. His relationship with Rino hits a climax at a house party Marlin throws, which is a mini-climax.

In the lead-up to this party, Rino tries working out. However, one more of his cartoons pops up as he falsely thinks everybody is judging him at the gym, so he runs away, never to come back. He changes his look, wearing a suit coat to the party along with styling his hair. He still looks a little shabby, but much better than before. Marlin says he looks cute and he stares into the mirror after that compliment - a little too long. Regardless, Rino at least makes some fumbling gestures at women and they are not turned-on, but neither actively dissing him.

Once again, he flees to the balcony, where Marlin consoles him telling him drunkenly to not be depressed. Rino’s friend comes in, blazing mad Rino is throwing a party with cute girls and demands to be allowed to cook a few pounds of bacon on his stove. Rino’s friend remarks to him, “Is bacon too primitive for you now?” I laughed hard at that one.

However, this symbolizes what Rino is to the people in his life. To his dad, a failure and does nothing to understand Rino. To Marlin, an emotional tampon. To his best friend, a simp he can feel superior to. However, this blows up as expected.

Later on she is crying at the park and he inquires as to why. Long story short, the alpha male she was getting fucked by broke up with her. They take on one of the most beta pacts ever – she steps into celibacy, while he steps out. She decides to set him up with a date.

This delusional beta walks into the restaurant and immediately approaches an attractive blond at the bar with no fear. It shows much fear can impede a man, as the female wasn't swooning but was at least entertaining his advances. It isn’t his date, however, as a chubby blond calls him over.

Rino loses it. He calls her a disgusting lard ass and pours his beer in sheer beta defiance over his head. She grabs his hand in an act of empathy, but he jerks away and leaves. He flees home and begins to draw one of cartoons in which Captain Cock takes control of his sexuality and fucks hot chicks.

He meets up with his best friend and decides to go to a strip club. Rino gets turned on and decides to go with his best friend to a brothel to finally get laid. When he goes into the dirty brothel, there are several fairly good-looking women there. He has serious jitters and the matron gives a strong drink to help him relax. He chugs it and gets more nervous, so nervous he runs all the way home in the pouring rain. He finds Marlin, crying because her alpha came by, fucked her and then told her it was over again.



He carries his fair maiden the bedroom, where they sleep and cuddle together, her pressing her almost naked body against his. In his sleep, he dreams of fucking her, but habits are habits and he begins stroking in his sleep. She wakes up and recoils in horror and calls him a disgusting pervert. Bad choice of words on her part because that triggers his deepest fear and he runs to the bathroom, grabs a blade and threatens to cut his dick off. She eggs him on at first, telling him he won’t do it because he is too big of pussy. Well, he does it. We are presented with another cartoon montage where he gives up his cock and balls, much to cheering of a crowd. He gets to a hospital and is fixed up.

He comes home and Marlin is waiting for him. She comments on how sorry she is for egging him on and tells him she found his drawings and he is really good at drawing. She gives him a final exhortation – possibly the best advice he got the entire movie – and to leave the apartment. He is too trapped in his own mind there. At the end, he goes back to the market with the original girl. He buys some paints and asks her on a date – very badly. She politely declines and leaves; all the while pretending – in his mind- he has changed significantly.

Whew, what to make of this? Rino may appear to be a narcissist and he does have narcissistic qualities, as he is preoccupied with his false view of himself and ignores his true SMV. He displays nothing more than superficial changes in his life – his workout routine lasted all of one day. He changes his wardrobe, but that is the definition of superficiality. What he really displays is sometimes called “inverted narcissism” or, codependency.

Codependency is a common psychological issue that one develops as a child, with either a narcissistic parent or a drug-addicted parent. They are characterized as having a deep ability to understand other’s emotions, but only as so far as it relates to the given codependent’s ability to perform a particular role in a narcissist’s life. In Fatso, Rino plays the regular simp who is psychologically used by those around him, but insofar that it allows him to act out certain roles. With his best friend, he gets to act out his failed relationship with his father, as he gets to the play the fascinated, idolizing inferior. With Malin, he plays the emotional tampon, the guy who gives her the emotional support she craves from the alpha male. With Malin, he gets to live his fantasy of “Captain Cock” who not only saves women from the clutches of uncaring assholes, but who also gets his sexuality approved of. I noted only once did he actually fantasize about having sex; it was all about the ability to get sex in theory. That sounds like narcissism.



Understand that deep down; Rino doesn’t want his sexual desires approved of. Codependents have a superficial desire for approval, as that is what they got from their self-absorbed parents. Any real displays of approval are almost always rejected, sometimes very strongly. This is reflected in Rino’s inability to come to grips with his sexuality. He craves superficial acceptance – for example, when he asks that women out at the end, she says she is engaged and “might” take go on a date with him with she was single. It was worded so that it was a very light rejection, but still could be taken as an acceptance. That is exactly what he wants – superficial approval from women so he can live out his fantasies in his head, while simultaneously avoiding any real, substantive contact with women. The closest he got to ever touching a female was after a serious psychological shock at the brothel, having run home half-drunk and presented with a great white-knighting situation. The best he coughs up is jacking off and then trying to slice off his dick.



This is where the book “No More Mister Nice Guy” comes in. Written by Robert Glover, it is a handbook for the beginning of changing a “nice guy” or beta male. Dr. Glover does lay some serious tips to salvage the inner game of a man – and I think he specifically targeted the codependent. Understand, the narcissist is protected by narcissistic armor – their defenses to reject criticism. Telling a narcissist in therapy, you have value, you are worthy of love – they will laugh at you. Of course they believe that, the narcissistic armor ensures that at a superficial. In my opinion, the most insecure people are narcissists. They hide behind serious defense mechanisms that make you think they are strong. They aren’t. However, this one of the benefits of being a codependent comes in. Codependents already blame themselves – their self-hatred is just below the surface – that is why narcissists target them so shamelessly. They know they can get them to act out the roles they need them to.

This is why codependents are receptive to therapy – accepting blame for their actions is their nature. They don’t have the serious deflection armor narcissists have. While their self-blame is shamelessly self-centered, it is the first step of solving any problem – admitting a problem. Codependents are acutely aware of their deficiencies – look at Rino. He knew was fat, ugly and sexually repulsive. His cartoons he drew reflected that realization. Marlin, at the end, remarks that has a level of self-awareness. She recognized and empathized with the fact Rino knew on some level he was sexually worthless to most women. Unlike his best friend, who would never had every created any cartoon like that – his cartoon would have been a “Captain Cock” that always was right, always on the winning side and always pulling down hot chicks.

Back to the book, Glover lays out nice guys. He characterizes them as guys, who think if they get everything “right,” that love, lust and all that jazz would flood into their lives. He positively cites Lasch’s “Culture of Narcissism” book near the beginning, signaling he notices that many men are suffering from narcissistic parents. However, his expose of the typical nice guy could literally be channeled through Rino.

In Glover’s words, nice guys operate on two axis’: the “I’m so bad” and “I’m so nice” nice guy. The “I’m so bad” nice guy is really a guy, who has been convinced of his inferiority by a parent, that he abuses alcohol, drugs and others in an attempt to prove his lack of worth . In other words, he attempts to paper his own perceived worthlessness by pretending to be bad. He really isn’t anti-social, he just acts anti-social as way of getting attention. The “I’m so nice” guy is a person who believes that they really are the nicest person around. They paper over anger, fear and sexuality by pretending it doesn’t exist. After all, they are the paradigm of the goodness. Do know, that any nice guy can vacillate between either polar opposite given the right circumstances. Rino displays the "I'm so nice" guy outwardly. When confronted with this sexual desires, porn use, etc. he flips to the other end of the spectrum - "I'm so bad," I'm sick, depraved and a loser. When confronted with his desire for Malin by Malin, he runs off in a tantrum to deny himself his very manhood. A playing up of the "I'm so bad," while emphasizing "I'm so good" I will rid the world of my depraved sexuality.

Let’s go deeper into Rino, otherwise known as the stereotypical nice guy. What causes these feelings of worthlessness? Two concepts: abandonment and shame. Abandonment is fairly straight-forward for me. If you are raised by a narcissist, that person only cares about themselves. A baby would quickly realize that their needs and desires aren’t relevant. They would begin to act out in ways that would allow to them to function with the paradigm of that relationship. Since narcissists need to feel superior, babies and children would most likely play the inferior to get attention. Second, is shame.

Shame is a complicated subject that I won’t go into detail into this already lengthy writeup. However, Roberts provides a great breakdown of shame. Shame-based people are people who believe that is inherently dangerous to be who they are. It is a dichotomy that breaks down – “There must be something wrong with me because [fill in the blank],” and “I am lovable when [fill in the blank].” Analyzing Rino through this lenses, it becomes clear he was lovable as a child when he took care of female emotional needs, he was in the wrong when he asserted himself. He was lovable when listened and praised a male superior, he was in the wrong when expressed himself in a way that a female found inappropriate.

This is where Robert’s analysis of the social forces that lead the internalized shame of the nice guy comes in. Roberts takes the gloves off and comes down on a few forces: lack of fathers, a feminized education and feminism in general. He recognizes the lack of quality fathers impairs a male’s ability to grow into a confident man. Second, he comes out and says the early years of education isn’t about education but learning how to please the female superior (!). Third, is feminism; Roberts says that sayings like “All men are pigs” or “All men are rapists” do nothing but hurt vulnerable men; further, even sayings like “A woman needs a man like a fish needs a bicycle” hurts men who were already conditioned in this female-centric to look for a woman’s approval first. Plus, is feminists' inability to handle real and honest male sexuality. Ask Rino about that?

My review of the book ends there, but, take a note, if you are struggling with inner game or psychological issues, please do read it. It could help you. If it doesn’t, then do seek out professional help. If somebody shames you for that, fuck them. If your problems are that deep you may need professional help.



In the end, let me finish with a lament. While the post most assuredly breezed over serious issues like the culture of narcissism, I will submit a lament for the beta male. In many ways, they have no chance. Subjected to system whereby they have to seek female approval from a tender age, in many ways, it becomes almost impossible to get them to change. They are born and raised in a world that will never have their needs and wants considered important. Women will ruthlessly oppress them in order to ensure they have a class of males to use emotionally and maybe settle down with later on in life. Their own mothers, sisters and teachers combine to form a system that will never develops positive self-confidence for the average male.

Rino's father was a part of the problem and even reinforces' Rinos bare utility to women. He exhorts him to gets gainfully employed - reinforcing he is a provider male, not a person who will be independently attractive to women. He never sits Rino down to talk about Rino. He brings a child to Rino's apartment and his inability to chose between who to deal with when the child runs off underpins his father's view of Rino as a child. This man never goes man to man with Rino in the movie - I strongly believe he never did or will. He just assumes Rino with get it together at some point, with no reference to Rino in real life.

Which is the saddest part of this analysis. Despite how pathetic he is, despite his inability to change and his fear of his sexuality, there is clear reflection of the modern Western male in him. A chubby guy who loves beer, porn and nerdy stuff. A guy who loves women who are beyond his SMV. Most importantly, a guy completely uncomfortable with his sexuality. A man completely un-moored from what being a man really is.

In the end, it is the twilight of men. Men so completely divorced from masculinity that they don't become soft men, but caricatures of themselves. Men who spend their time looking at porn, playing video games and watching sports. Men whom their parents encourage to be more ambitious - but for what cause? There is no cause but themselves - which would be narcissism. Yet, why should they invest outside themselves? All they ever got in return was narcissism...a system that reinforces itself.

Enjoy the decline!