I think some the guys are being a bit too harsh in judgement even if I see some truth in their opinion.
I can identify with a bunch of the problems this guy has had. I have had sex, so I'm certainly not a "male virgin" (that term should NOT be applied to men, by the way, it's important to state. I believe that very notion is absurd and destructive to men.) However, I am an outlier in the amount of celibacy I've experienced.
Over time I've realized that my father was abusive...not physically so much, but emotionally. Basically every time I did something wrong or didn't measure up in some way, instead of viewing it as a learning experience and an opportunity for self-improvement, the lesson he drilled in me was that there was something intrinsically and fundamentally wrong with me. As a result, you grow up feeling ashamed of who you are. Some psychologists (i.e. Robert Glover) call this "toxic shame". (I think the only thing I really received a lot of praise for was academics, so I ended up over-investing my energies into that aspect of life.)
If you combine that kind of abuse with a conservative yet thoroughly blue-pill (Catholic) religious upbringing, overly coddling mother, the general masculity-shaming of our broader culture, and a total lack of any proper male mentorship, and frankly, you have a recipe for disaster in raising a man. Take away some of those and at best you can create a "higher beta". I say this without bitterness, for I know my parents were too ignorant and spiritually unconscious to know any better, so I forgive them. My dad had his own traumas in life which made him the way he was. I try not to dwell in the past, but sometimes when I look back I certainly do regret that things couldn't have been different.
And yes, I passed on escalating with a bunch of girls when I was younger and still good-looking, but it wasn't simply arrogance. I was given a totally inaccurate map of how to view interactions with women.
At a certain point failures in life can start to accumulate and you dig yourself into a rut which is very hard to break out of. Things can and do happen to men which can destroy their self-confidence and it takes a huge amount of consciousness to overcome them. It's not insurmountable, but it's not easy. And time is not on your side, because the longer you've been living with negativity, the more momentum it has, while simultaneously your levels of testosterone are decreasing.
I can identify with a bunch of the problems this guy has had. I have had sex, so I'm certainly not a "male virgin" (that term should NOT be applied to men, by the way, it's important to state. I believe that very notion is absurd and destructive to men.) However, I am an outlier in the amount of celibacy I've experienced.
Over time I've realized that my father was abusive...not physically so much, but emotionally. Basically every time I did something wrong or didn't measure up in some way, instead of viewing it as a learning experience and an opportunity for self-improvement, the lesson he drilled in me was that there was something intrinsically and fundamentally wrong with me. As a result, you grow up feeling ashamed of who you are. Some psychologists (i.e. Robert Glover) call this "toxic shame". (I think the only thing I really received a lot of praise for was academics, so I ended up over-investing my energies into that aspect of life.)
If you combine that kind of abuse with a conservative yet thoroughly blue-pill (Catholic) religious upbringing, overly coddling mother, the general masculity-shaming of our broader culture, and a total lack of any proper male mentorship, and frankly, you have a recipe for disaster in raising a man. Take away some of those and at best you can create a "higher beta". I say this without bitterness, for I know my parents were too ignorant and spiritually unconscious to know any better, so I forgive them. My dad had his own traumas in life which made him the way he was. I try not to dwell in the past, but sometimes when I look back I certainly do regret that things couldn't have been different.
And yes, I passed on escalating with a bunch of girls when I was younger and still good-looking, but it wasn't simply arrogance. I was given a totally inaccurate map of how to view interactions with women.
At a certain point failures in life can start to accumulate and you dig yourself into a rut which is very hard to break out of. Things can and do happen to men which can destroy their self-confidence and it takes a huge amount of consciousness to overcome them. It's not insurmountable, but it's not easy. And time is not on your side, because the longer you've been living with negativity, the more momentum it has, while simultaneously your levels of testosterone are decreasing.
If only you knew how bad things really are.