Quote: (09-15-2014 02:19 AM)Feisbook Control Wrote:
I'm sure a lot could be said about Japanese women and how beneath that feminine exterior many can be cold ball busters, especially after they marry, but that's not what I'm going to focus on.
I think a lot of the problem is that Japan is basically the logical end point of (post)modernity, and young Japanese have been crushed by that.
Most people take their attitudes towards marriage from what they see around them, especially in terms of their own families. These young Japanese men know that marriage comes at a massive cost. They were essentially raised in single parent families. Their fathers commuted two hours each way, worked ten hours or more, then went out with their colleagues drinking after work. They worked weekends and they never took vacations. To all intents and purposes, these kids didn't have fathers. There was some dude who regularly sent money to their mothers. On the rare occasions when they saw these guys, they were haggard shells of men. The "fathers" and "mothers" had nothing in common and were just going through the motions for the kids. That's not a marriage. Young Japanese men have looked at that and realised what a massive con it is, especially since the economy has been stagnant for two decades and where the social contract of being a salaryman for a guaranteed job for life and constantly improving material quality of life, regular big bonuses, etc. has been permanently broken. I'd suggest that young women have also seen what massive con that is, for their mothers have been trapped in a mere simulacrum of a marriage also, their own silent and private hell, and that's a part of why they're not interested either. The whole thing is a giant Potemkin Village, but the whole thing that keeps it limping along is that no one wants the shame of being the first to admit that he hates it, is failing at life. The younger generation just quietly opt out instead, and their parents wring their hands silently in despair. Occasionally, politicians talk about it, but they are completely off base and so no one cares what they say.
So, what's the alternative? Well, the weird thing about (post)modernity is that it provides anything you could ever want, though nothing you could ever need beyond keeping you alive. These Japanese kids are never going to starve. They can afford all the latest fashions, all the latest gizmos, all of their weird little hobbies. They can buy anything they want at any time of the day from a convenience store. Yet all of that is completely meaningless. It's living only for the moment. Yet when the alternative is the Japanese salaryman lifestyle, they probably take living for the moment as the lesser of two evils. Also, Japan is a really communal society, and people aren't going to buck the trend. They're not going to move to Thailand and wife up there or start a location independent income/lifestyle like some Westerners would. If one in 10,000 Americans is aware of that and prepared to do it, it must be something like one in 100,000 Japanese who would do likewise.
Spot on. I've seen these Japanese families as expats and my guess is that they're extremely stressed out beneath the perfect exterior. Actually, the expats probably have a good time in places like Thailand were work isn't everything. Still, these Japanese housewives parading around with their kids are too damn perfect. Slim, feminine, bangable, with impeccable stylish clothes and polite and happy kids. They are suffering from the same as quite a lot of upper middle class euro women. They have so much available for them in the form of information, food, clothes etc, that they feel an immense pressure to outdo each other in who can make the best lunch for their kids (google japanese kids lunch), who can find the most eco-friendly brands, who spends most time tutoring etc.
Their women need some struggle, just like western women, simple as that.