Quote: (08-12-2011 09:03 PM)Walderschmidt Wrote:
DeliciousWolf, one could argue that the way you deal with things is simply reframing. Would you agree?
There's quite a bit more to it than just re-framing. The wonderful thing about Self-Talk is that it goes far beyond just re-framing, which is a reactive response, to include proactive behavior adoption and more. For example, recently I decided that I wasn't taking enough risks in my life, and wasn't taking enough risks with women. Fine, okay but how does one actually change that? Just saying I'm going to take more risks from now on doesn't work for long. Using the Self-Talk system I adopted new thinking patterns around being a risk-taker (eg. "I risk escalating kinos with every woman I'm attracted to, all the way through to sex") and quickly began adopting the new behaviors I desired. This is more than just reframing the way you deal with things, it's actively choosing how you want to be. Last Saturday night I ended up making out with two new women at the same bar, and kino-escalating several more. Also got 4 four numbers. Stuff works.
Be aware though that Self-Talk is a little bit of a new skill to learn, and that when you first begin your mind may actively argue that the system can't possibly work, or when you choose new Self-Talk patterns your brain will tell you at first that you're lying or deceiving yourself. (Your brain may be telling you this even now!) This is all normal, and in fact a sign that the system is working. It's perfectly natural for the brain to first argue against new thought patterns as it seeks to defend its old thinking patterns. Over time I've found that the brain begins to accept new Self-Talk thoughts much more readily, and this is hardly a problem for me anymore. I can now improve my thoughts and my behaviors rapidly, even very ingrained ones like fears or procrastination, quite rapidly. It really is wonderful to have that much control over your life.
Self-Talk therapy is similar to CBT, but I find Self-Talk therapy faster and better to use when you wish to instill new beliefs or behaviors. I have found CBT to be excellent for dealing with depression, upsetting thoughts, etc. Both are excellent and well worth anyone's time to look into.
To re-iterate, the books I recommend are "The Self-Talk Solution" (my favorite) and "What to Say When You Talk to Yourself" both by Dr. Shad Helmstetter. I haven't read any of those other books and can't comment on them. It's better to read one book and apply it than to read several books and not use them.