Apart from a small group of high school and Uni friends, who I would definitely call close, this story is pretty much reflective of my life. I think we’d find a lot of commonalities amongst our personalities from those that have posted so far.
I’ve actually been thinking about starting a similar thread topic, and at the risk of derailing, would like to touch on some of those points.
We all talk about self-improvement here, in very much personal terms. One of those areas is making money.
Now, this may not apply to all industries, but I would hazard a guess that men who are wealthy are also men who are very good at networking, essentially making friendships that lubricate the path to wealth. This is further aided by familial ties and friendships across generations, within respective social classes. That's for another thread though.
Obviously these friendships differ to those in our personal life (and may also be intertwined), but a similar dynamic is at play in that the “friendships” are fostered by a I help you/you help me mentality, albeit on a professional level.
My father has always been good at this, and it’s something that I envy about him. It’s probably something that I could work on, but deep down I guess I have a feeling of being disingenuous when pursuing these types of relationships since I would be doing it for personal gain. I know that sentiment is something I should just get over though.
To take this further, I believe the reasoning behind not forming solid friendships is based upon the belief that you don’t relate or don’t have a lot of commonalities with said person or group. This may be called being set in your ways, or maybe it’s just knowing what you like and what you don’t like.
In essence, it becomes self-limiting though, as it causes stagnation in life and perpetuates the inability to seek new experiences with different people - expanding horizons per se. At least I can attest to that.
I also believe there is a tendency for people who have these traits to sell themselves short, that somehow their opinion/skills/attributes will be underappreciated or go unnoticed all together. This should be seen for what it is however; faulty thinking, and linked to a lack of confidence that we all have the power to improve.
I’ve actually been thinking about starting a similar thread topic, and at the risk of derailing, would like to touch on some of those points.
We all talk about self-improvement here, in very much personal terms. One of those areas is making money.
Now, this may not apply to all industries, but I would hazard a guess that men who are wealthy are also men who are very good at networking, essentially making friendships that lubricate the path to wealth. This is further aided by familial ties and friendships across generations, within respective social classes. That's for another thread though.
Obviously these friendships differ to those in our personal life (and may also be intertwined), but a similar dynamic is at play in that the “friendships” are fostered by a I help you/you help me mentality, albeit on a professional level.
My father has always been good at this, and it’s something that I envy about him. It’s probably something that I could work on, but deep down I guess I have a feeling of being disingenuous when pursuing these types of relationships since I would be doing it for personal gain. I know that sentiment is something I should just get over though.
To take this further, I believe the reasoning behind not forming solid friendships is based upon the belief that you don’t relate or don’t have a lot of commonalities with said person or group. This may be called being set in your ways, or maybe it’s just knowing what you like and what you don’t like.
In essence, it becomes self-limiting though, as it causes stagnation in life and perpetuates the inability to seek new experiences with different people - expanding horizons per se. At least I can attest to that.
I also believe there is a tendency for people who have these traits to sell themselves short, that somehow their opinion/skills/attributes will be underappreciated or go unnoticed all together. This should be seen for what it is however; faulty thinking, and linked to a lack of confidence that we all have the power to improve.