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Date Lab: When to Eject?
#3

Date Lab: When to Eject?

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I worked all day [at my] architectural practice, [then had] a meeting [at] a dusty construction site and then went to dinner. I was a few minutes late. I actually spaced out on the subway and went past my transfer spot, so I was a bit stressed. He was there [already] and at the table.

Translation: I am a modern, empowered woman. I have a high powered job. I can work just as hard as any man, even if it means getting dirty. Sometimes it stresses me out. Deal with it. That's the price of a quality woman like me.

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He was there [already] and at the table.
Translation: Sap. [Notice, no "I felt bad when I got there, because he had already been waiting."]

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I think he’s just used to speaking his mind and not tempering his views.

Translation: I'm repressed, and can't handle the slightest display of personality 'til after 9 months of dating.

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She’s very poised, very professional. I would have preferred someone that was maybe more expressive.

Translation: She's stuck up, repressed, and humorless.

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Man: Like for example, she didn’t tell one joke the entire night.

Woman: The whole thing could have been a little more lighthearted. I think he was looking at it more as an opportunity to meet someone who [he] might connect with very seriously, [but] I like to banter. Whatever happened to banter? Why is banter so hard to find? I was not getting a lot of banter.

On one level, his sense of humor sucked, and wasn't well calibrated to her sensibilities. On the other, this sounds like a lot of girls - the conversation goes poorly because she is a sucky conversationalist. And then she thinks you are the weak link. That she sucks at it never enters her mind.

The guy is a little nerdy and socially inept - eg taking out his phone to actually speak correctly on a matter of public policy. Actually, I just whipped out a phone on a recent date, but I had fun with it - I made her a cash money bet about a trivial dispute that arose, money on the table and all.

Mainstream game says: if you don't get her, it's your fault. Reality is, some girls just suck, and aren't worth the time. You have to be self-aware and criticize yourself, but girls like these are best ignored.
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