ok so the first thing in lasting a long time is to have frequent sex, there is no way around it. practice and being comfortable knowing that you're getting sex now, you'll get it later and the next day help tremendously. if it is the most exciting thing you've done in a month and you dont when you'll get laid next, the energy will be too great.
now in terms of while you're having sex...i liken it to hearing a train coming from far away. you have to listen closely to hear the sounds of the train coming and when the train is still miles away, slow down and let yourself relax. fuck slower, take a short break by not thrusting and just kissing or fondling her. she wont care, she'll be happy you are taking the time to acknowledge her.
deep breathing is important as you mention, but kegels i dont know.
i've found for me, that i have to have those muscles relaxed in order to last a long time. the same muscles you contract to do the kegels, you have to relax all the way. the sensations on my dick are more intense when those muscles are flexed. if you can keep those relaxed, you can last much much longer.
being in control is key, this way you control the pace of the sex, when you take pauses and when you can speed up again.
sometimes i'll be close to the point of coming ten times before i let it go all the way. but you have to be aware of the sensations and take that pause well before the point of no return. myself, i know where that point is so precisely that i can go up to t-minus one stroke and stop, which enhances everything for me.
there is no magic bullet that i've found, just practice, self awareness, control of the sex, control of yourself, not being afraid to pause (use that time to reconnect with her), and keeping the muscles relaxed.
try having sex with the idea that you're not going to come, you're not even going to try and make your dick feel good, you're just using it to thrust inside of her. make your dick dead. i know it sounds like its taking the pleasure away, but it doesn't. it enhances it for me. really try to make a disconnection between your body/brain and your dick itself.
now in terms of while you're having sex...i liken it to hearing a train coming from far away. you have to listen closely to hear the sounds of the train coming and when the train is still miles away, slow down and let yourself relax. fuck slower, take a short break by not thrusting and just kissing or fondling her. she wont care, she'll be happy you are taking the time to acknowledge her.
deep breathing is important as you mention, but kegels i dont know.
i've found for me, that i have to have those muscles relaxed in order to last a long time. the same muscles you contract to do the kegels, you have to relax all the way. the sensations on my dick are more intense when those muscles are flexed. if you can keep those relaxed, you can last much much longer.
being in control is key, this way you control the pace of the sex, when you take pauses and when you can speed up again.
sometimes i'll be close to the point of coming ten times before i let it go all the way. but you have to be aware of the sensations and take that pause well before the point of no return. myself, i know where that point is so precisely that i can go up to t-minus one stroke and stop, which enhances everything for me.
there is no magic bullet that i've found, just practice, self awareness, control of the sex, control of yourself, not being afraid to pause (use that time to reconnect with her), and keeping the muscles relaxed.
try having sex with the idea that you're not going to come, you're not even going to try and make your dick feel good, you're just using it to thrust inside of her. make your dick dead. i know it sounds like its taking the pleasure away, but it doesn't. it enhances it for me. really try to make a disconnection between your body/brain and your dick itself.