My dad died when I was 11 (I'm now 30), and my mum died 5 years ago. My dad wasn't really part of my life much growing up as he was a violent alcoholic, and died of a heart attack induced by liver failure aged 48. My mum died of respiratory failure following a diagnosis of COPD aged 59.
I hadn't seen my dad in quite a long time, so his dealth had little impact on me. I did cry once or twice, and his funeral was a surreal experience at the time. Thinking back on it now I'm somewhat angry that he drank himself to death, robbing me of the opportunity to get to know him, but I understand that it was his spiritual path and was meant to be.
My mum smoked herself to death. She knew that her lungs would fail if she didn't quit smoking, but she was living with her mother (an absolute cunt by the way), who used to offer her smokes on a daily basis. We tried to get her to move out, but her mother pulled at her heart strings and she never did.
She had always said even years in advance that she would never want to be hooked up to life support / an oxygen tank. Almost like she knew her fate. When I had a moment alone with her, I told her how much I loved her and that it was okay if she was ready to move on. That was a difficult thing to have to say, but I felt that it needed to be said as I didn't want her to suffer. When the doctor came in to ask her if she wanted to remain on life support, or be made comfortable, she chose to be made comfortable. Watching a parent suffocate to death after choosing to coming off life support isn't really an experience that I would wish on anyone. Luckily she was dead within 10 minutes of coming off the machine, as the nurse said some patients can last hours or even days. I do believe it was her spiritual path though, and if I could go back to change things I wouldn't.
Even though her mother was on her own spiritual path, I'm quite glad that she died alone, of lung cancer a few years ago. I hope it was slow and agonising.
I was very close to my mum, closer than all my brothers. I cannot comment on wether my dads death had any influence in that as he was absent for most of my life up to the point he died. I always thought that I would go off the rails and go on a bit of a rampage when my mum died, but life just plodded on as normal. It was an upsetting time, and I can recall her death / seeing her in the funeral home / her funeral with absolute clarity, but choose to remember the happy memories that we had together. I take a lot of comfort in my spiritual beliefs, but if I didn't have them I would chalk it up to the circle of life.
I hadn't seen my dad in quite a long time, so his dealth had little impact on me. I did cry once or twice, and his funeral was a surreal experience at the time. Thinking back on it now I'm somewhat angry that he drank himself to death, robbing me of the opportunity to get to know him, but I understand that it was his spiritual path and was meant to be.
My mum smoked herself to death. She knew that her lungs would fail if she didn't quit smoking, but she was living with her mother (an absolute cunt by the way), who used to offer her smokes on a daily basis. We tried to get her to move out, but her mother pulled at her heart strings and she never did.
She had always said even years in advance that she would never want to be hooked up to life support / an oxygen tank. Almost like she knew her fate. When I had a moment alone with her, I told her how much I loved her and that it was okay if she was ready to move on. That was a difficult thing to have to say, but I felt that it needed to be said as I didn't want her to suffer. When the doctor came in to ask her if she wanted to remain on life support, or be made comfortable, she chose to be made comfortable. Watching a parent suffocate to death after choosing to coming off life support isn't really an experience that I would wish on anyone. Luckily she was dead within 10 minutes of coming off the machine, as the nurse said some patients can last hours or even days. I do believe it was her spiritual path though, and if I could go back to change things I wouldn't.
Even though her mother was on her own spiritual path, I'm quite glad that she died alone, of lung cancer a few years ago. I hope it was slow and agonising.
I was very close to my mum, closer than all my brothers. I cannot comment on wether my dads death had any influence in that as he was absent for most of my life up to the point he died. I always thought that I would go off the rails and go on a bit of a rampage when my mum died, but life just plodded on as normal. It was an upsetting time, and I can recall her death / seeing her in the funeral home / her funeral with absolute clarity, but choose to remember the happy memories that we had together. I take a lot of comfort in my spiritual beliefs, but if I didn't have them I would chalk it up to the circle of life.