Once you get the nonverbal body language down, from there you can move on to observing conversational dynamics. I'm riffing here, but I see social intelligence as keeping track of two things:
* The power structure in a conversation
* What each person in a conversation wants/needs
The first is easy to understand as a concept. Who's leading the conversation, and who is just participating? Someone who's doing a lot of the listening can still be the "leader" or hold the power - think of someone whose advice is being sought, the seeker us supplicating to the expert even though the supplicator is doing the bulk of the talking.
If you want to disrupt the power structure, you need to be very deft so you don't look like an AMOG clown, insult a respected member of the group, or piss off the rest of them.
If someone is interrupting, they are trying to take power. If the group is letting them interrupt, the group is granting power. Inverting the power structure - like talking to the hot girl's less-hot friend first, or steering the conversation to a topic that the super-fratty douche guy is weak in
- can reveal who is chill and how has a "need" to be in charge/the center of attention. If you have good game, you can then "poke" t their insecurity. U mad bro?
I always recommend talking to old ladies or husbands first if either are in a group, but generally anything to prevent putting hot young women in the driver's seat of the discussion from the word go. The biggest neg you can ever pull is to have more value in a conversation than she does (that's really the fundamental aim or the neg, anyway).
I tend to go for an affable, magnanimous vibe, never get heated about anything, I'm just there to have a good time, and give people a chance to talk about their expertise because it shows I'm interested in them, but I'm asking the questions I want to know so I have the power.
As for the "wants and needs" point, you need to observe to figure out if someone wants a logical question answered, wants to be listened to, needs some material favor, just wants to be in the comfort of people who know what they are talking about or make them feel good, etc. I don't have a system but if you can effectively cold-read some of that you can make yourself look really, really savvy and earn major comfort/familiarity points with everyone.
* The power structure in a conversation
* What each person in a conversation wants/needs
The first is easy to understand as a concept. Who's leading the conversation, and who is just participating? Someone who's doing a lot of the listening can still be the "leader" or hold the power - think of someone whose advice is being sought, the seeker us supplicating to the expert even though the supplicator is doing the bulk of the talking.
If you want to disrupt the power structure, you need to be very deft so you don't look like an AMOG clown, insult a respected member of the group, or piss off the rest of them.
If someone is interrupting, they are trying to take power. If the group is letting them interrupt, the group is granting power. Inverting the power structure - like talking to the hot girl's less-hot friend first, or steering the conversation to a topic that the super-fratty douche guy is weak in
- can reveal who is chill and how has a "need" to be in charge/the center of attention. If you have good game, you can then "poke" t their insecurity. U mad bro?
I always recommend talking to old ladies or husbands first if either are in a group, but generally anything to prevent putting hot young women in the driver's seat of the discussion from the word go. The biggest neg you can ever pull is to have more value in a conversation than she does (that's really the fundamental aim or the neg, anyway).
I tend to go for an affable, magnanimous vibe, never get heated about anything, I'm just there to have a good time, and give people a chance to talk about their expertise because it shows I'm interested in them, but I'm asking the questions I want to know so I have the power.
As for the "wants and needs" point, you need to observe to figure out if someone wants a logical question answered, wants to be listened to, needs some material favor, just wants to be in the comfort of people who know what they are talking about or make them feel good, etc. I don't have a system but if you can effectively cold-read some of that you can make yourself look really, really savvy and earn major comfort/familiarity points with everyone.